Chapter 36

Sorrow

Fear gripped Allison as she tried to deal with Cameron. This was not something that she'd needed to do before, at least not on this level.

Allison was unsure what to do about all the things Cameron spoke of. Cameron was confused and mixed her future with the present and the future she'd come from. It was like there was no separation from the three different time periods.

She wanted help. She needed Vanna here to help her help Cameron. She wanted to call John but Cameron did not want him to see her like this. She really felt that this is where Cameron should want to see John, not avoid him. John would give her strength at a time like this. That is how it worked for Vanna and her.

Allison phoned Vanna in the recreation room. This was an urgent matter.

Vanna answered her phone.

"Hello." Vanna said.

Allison got straight down to business.

"Vanna, I need you to come to our room right now." Allison said.

"I have a few things to…." Vanna started.

Allison interrupted her.

"I NEED you right NOW!" Allison said.

"What's wro…." Vanna started to ask.

"It's Cameron, she's melting down." Allison interrupted.

"Do you mean her power cell?" Vanna asked clearly worried.

Vanna knew if a power cell exploded that it would be catastrophic to a Terminator and everything around it. She knew it would do a lot of damage but didn't know exactly how much.

"NO! It's her mind. She is tearing her mind apart. I need you to come alone and not say anything to anyone, especially John. She does not want to see him." Allison said. "Come RIGHT NOW. I need you. Cameron NEEDS you."

Vanna said she was on her way and ended the call.

Allison went back over to Cameron and helped her get up off the floor. Cameron was very heavy but soon stood on her own. She was able to get Cameron to sit on the edge of the bed.

She wiped Cameron's tears way and straightened her hair a little. Allison touched Cameron's face with her hand to comfort her. She wanted to give her a physical anchor to slow the mental trauma.

Allison was able to calm her down some. Cameron seemed a little better. She did not seem as disorientated. She wasn't talking about 'killing' her right now.

Cameron started in on how her body was ruined now and she looked like a freak. She said that John told her before not to act like a freak. Now she looked like one as well.

Allison was unsure what to say about that. She reminded Cameron that the new DNA infusion she would do should fix everything. Everything would be as it was before, maybe even better.

Vanna walked in into the room. She saw the woman she loved, trying to comfort the other 'woman' that she loved. She could see Cameron looked terrible. Allison looked highly distressed too.

Vanna came over to Cameron and took her hand. She touched her cheek too. She wanted to establish the physical connection like Allison did.

"Cameron, how can we help you?" Vanna asked. "Tell us how to help you. You know we will do anything."

It was like Cameron did not hear her and still talked about what she spoke of earlier.

"I have ruined everyone's lives. I have killed the children by not allowing them to be conceived and born." Cameron sobbed. "I am worse than an assassin."

Allison told Vanna everything Cameron said except the part about Cameron killing her, well, Cameron's Allison - Future Allison. That did not seem like something to bring back up. Cameron might start talking about that again if she did. She'd found that statement to be very disturbing.

Vanna and Allison sat on each side of Cameron as they tried to calm and console her. How could the mightiest warrior of them all be reduced to this condition? It was something that they both wondered.

"Cameron, we are both here for you." Vanna said.

Each young woman held Cameron tight as they tried to soothe her and comfort her. Based on this they both wondered what her reaction would be if something 'bad' were to happen to John. No wonder she tried to protect John so much.

Cameron looked at both of them. Her face was filled with grief and anguish.

"I've killed Future John's children before they were born. What kind of being am I?" Cameron cried. "What kind of evil Monster?"

Vanna was afraid they might need to pull Cameron's chip to stop her from destroying herself. She did not want to do that unless Cameron shut down on her own. She remembered that one of the server 'Camerons' tried to delete and erase itself before to self terminate when faced with rejection and replacement.

Allison looked at Vanna behind Cameron's head. They both knew that Cameron was fixated on children right now. She mouthed the word 'YES'. Vanna responded in kind.

Allison knew what Cameron wanted for John.

"Cameron, if John ever wants to have a child I will bear it for him." Allison reassured her.

"I will also, Cameron." Vanna replied.

"We will do it for YOU, for John AND for ourselves." Allison said as she tried to soothe Cameron.

Cameron turned and faced Allison.

"Really?" Cameron asked. "You would do this for me even after I killed you?"

Vanna shot Allison a questioning look. She wondered what that was all about.

Cameron briefly told the story of Future Allison and their last meeting.

Allison comforted her. It didn't sound too convincing.

"You don't know for sure you killed Your Allison - Future Allison." Allison said.

Vanna was aware of another incident.

"She may have been unconscious when you left." Vanna said. "You once told me about that other girl in the house you broke into. It was really her parents house. You did the same thing to her and she was still alive when you left."

Cameron tilted her head slightly.

"Yes." Cameron said. "I heard her gasp for air. She shouldn't have lied to me."

Allison offered another example.

"That Scave… gang leader was still alive the other night, right?" Allison asked.

"Yes." Cameron said. "I only destroyed his wrist. I crushed the nine bones into fragments."

Vanna and Allison heard that happen. The 'crunch' sound was very distinct.

"Maybe Your Allison recovered and was still in a Skynet work camp after you left. Future John could have rescued her later on. Future Savannah could have gotten close to Future John again and comforted him and provided for him." Allison said. "They may have reached out to each other."

Vanna knew anything could have happened.

"You don't know what happened after you left, Cameron." Vanna said.

Allison tried another line of thought that did not go over very well.

"Maybe that future does not even exist anymore. Maybe it never existed since you came back." Allison said.

The look on Cameron's face said it all. The tears started again.

"You mean you think I killed all of them by coming back in time and that I erased them from existence?" Cameron sobbed. "I can't accept anymore pain to the ones I love. I must protect everyone. I must save everyone. I must try harder. I am not doing enough fast enough. Now my body is ruined as well."

Cameron's hand started to glitch out of control.

It was clear they were losing Cameron.

"Go get John." Allison whispered.

Vanna ran from the room to look for John.

"Cameron, we are all here now and alive. Everyone is fine. There is nothing to worry about." Allison said to reassure her. "We are the same people."

Cameron still seemed caught up in the past events.

"Allison, I have failed. I have failed. Whatever I have done or am doing is 'not good enough'." Cameron said. "I am 'not good enough'."

Allison disagreed with that statement a thousand percent.

"There is no finer person than you, Cameron." Allison said. "There is not."

There was some talking in hushed tones out in the hall.

John came into the room. Vanna followed behind him.

John came over to Cameron and knelt before her as she sat on the bed.

"Cameron, I am here now. Everything is alright." John said.

"No, John, it is not. It is not because of my actions." Cameron said. "I have done terrible things to all of you."

Allison thought Cameron and John should have a private moment.

"Would you like Vanna and me to leave you and John alone?" Allison asked.

Cameron's eyes widened.

"Don't abandon me." Cameron cried out. "I don't want to be abandoned again."

Vanna quickly sat back down next to Cameron. Allison was still on Cameron's other side. John was directly in front of her.

They all held each other as they sobbed. They could all feel Cameron's pain and torment. It affected all of them.

"I need you to promise me you will help me fix MY past, MY mistakes and MY evil deeds." Cameron said.

Allison looked at Vanna and then at John. She then faced Cameron.

"Cameron, when the time is right and everyone is ready I will do as you ask." Allison said. "I promise."

A faint smile touched Cameron's face as she looked at Allison.

"Thank you, Allison." Cameron said. "I knew I could count on you."

Vanna looked at Allison and John and then at Cameron.

"As it was in your future, I will also do what was intended for YOU, Cameron." Vanna said. "I promise, Cameron."

The faint smiled on Cameron's face grew a little larger as she looked at Vanna.

"Thank you, Vanna." Cameron said. "I knew I could count on you too."

John was not sure what they were talking about but it seemed to involve him in some way.

"Is there something I should know about?" John asked.

Allison and Vanna looked at each other and then at Cameron.

Allison looked at John. She wanted to keep it simple.

"Cameron will need our help at some point in our present timeline. Vanna and myself will be here to correct events that Cameron inadvertently altered in her future. Leave it at that, John, for Cameron." Allison said. "PLEASE."

Cameron seemed to rapidly gain some composure with the latest promises from Vanna and Allison.

"Thank you, Allison, and thank you, Vanna. You don't know the burden that has been lifted from my mind. It was such guilt, regret and shame for the events I altered and the hope I destroyed." Cameron said. "It was crushing me."

Cameron sat up straight and then she stood. Allison, Vanna and John did also.

Cameron hugged Allison and then Vanna. She wanted to thank them again.

"Thank you, Allison, and thank you, Vanna. Thank you so much." Cameron said. "This means everything to me. It means there is still a future of hope and love."

John started to lead Cameron away. She stopped at the door and looked at the two beautiful longtime lovers. She smiled faintly and walked out the door. There was a still a look of terrible sorrow and sadness upon her face.

Allison and Vanna looked at each other as the door closed. That was a very emotional event for them. It also cemented a resolve in the girls.

"I intend to keep my promise to Cameron." Allison said.

"I accept that and will keep my promise as well." Vanna said.

Allison and Vanna hugged each other and both cried for Cameron.

They both loved Cameron more than ever….

Sorrow and Sadness

A challenge was issued
I answered the call
I pushed every button
I gave it my all

I meant only jest and to test
Others followed the ball
I did not want or mean
For you to fall

I only wanted others
To look deep within
I meant no harm
I did not try to sin

I am glad you saw
I wanted them to grin
Forgive my trespass
Hearts I did not mean to skin

My sweet I ask
Please do return
For your wisdom and advice
So I may learn

Attack me if you must
It is my turn
In sadness and sorrow
It is for you that I yearn

Nobody