Chapter 40

Past Reflections

Kyle thought about what he wanted and what he wanted to do. It was something he'd contemplated for awhile now. He was sure of his feelings and of himself. He looked at himself in the mirror. It was time to step it up and act on his feelings. He exited his room and headed for Sarah's room. The time for second guessing and cold feet was past. Life moved forward.

Kyle knocked on Sarah's door.

"Hello, Kyle." Sarah said with a smile as she opened the door.

Sarah's smile and warm greeting gave him a little more confidence. That produced a smile on his face now as well. He was still very nervous.

"Hello, Sarah." Kyle said. "Would you like to go out with me for some food?"

Sarah was thrilled with the idea to be out with Kyle.

"I would love to, Kyle. Let me find Jim or Bob and tell them I have a 'protector' with me." Sarah said.

Kyle liked being call her 'protector'. He said what he felt and believed.

"I will always protect you, Sarah, to the end of time, even with my life." Kyle said.

That statement caught Sarah off guard. Its implications cut her to the bone. Tears welled up in her eyes. She thought of when Future Kyle died to protect her. He traded his life for her life. He damaged the Terminator and bought her some precious time to escape. She thought of his lifeless body on the floor of the factory and it saddened her deeply. Here he was now at her door alive and he just asked her out. It seemed so impossible but here he was.

Sarah pulled him into her room.

She hugged him and never wanted to let go. She didn't want him to die for her again. She would rather die for him this time.

Kyle could see something was wrong. Sarah was very emotional. That was uncommon for her. She was usually as hard as nails.

"Sarah, what's wrong?" Kyle asked. "Tell me."

Sarah didn't even need to think about it.

"My past haunts me and my future stalks me." Sarah said.

Kyle thought that was a profound statement. He wanted to make his position clear.

"That's heavy. Sarah, you know I really like you, right?" Kyle asked.

Those words touched her heart.

"Yes, as I do you Kyle." Sarah said.

Sarah wanted to blurt out she LOVED him.

She kissed him instead. He kissed her back. He wasn't sure where this was headed. He'd received several different signals in the last thirty seconds. There were some things he needed to say.

"I asked John if there would be any problem if I pursued a 'deeper relationship' with you." Kyle said.

Sarah was not sure she liked that but respected his honor for asking. He couldn't ask her father but he could ask her son, the General. She knew John was in her court but she felt at her age the choice was hers alone to make.

"That is not his choice to make." Sarah said.

Kyle didn't want any problems or to make John think he was trying to 'take advantage' of his mother. He wanted more than a fling.

"No, but I did want to have his blessing." Kyle said. "He said we can take as much time off of operations as we would like."

There was the proof John was in her court.

"Did he now?" Sarah asked playfully.

Kyle wanted to show his intentions were honorable.

"Yes. I respect John and I did not want to cause him any uneasiness. He is a fine young man, Sarah. You should be proud of him. If he were my son, I would be proud of him too."

Sarah looked at Kyle intently.

'If he only knew the truth.' Sarah thought.

"I am." Sarah said. "I am very proud of him."

She wanted to blurt out that John IS his son.

Kyle still wanted to say a few more things about John and Cameron. He was afraid he was getting off track. They made his being there possible.

"Cameron is a remarkable person, Sarah, they complement each other." Kyle said. "I have never seen such a bond between warriors. I know their relationship is 'unconventional' but they did so much to save me personally and others in my future."

Sarah knew it was a very bumpy road with Cameron to reach the point they were at. It was a good point now so that is all that should matter.

"I have come to accept Cameron for the hope and happiness she brings John. I feel as if she is my second child in a way. I accept her for who she is in my 'family'." Sarah said. "I have come a long way and both of them have grown greatly."

Kyle wanted to make it clear that Cameron saved his life more than once.

"Cameron risked her life to save me several times, Sarah. This was done at a very great risk to herself. I owe her a debt of gratitude and my life." Kyle said. "She took damage meant to kill me. She herself could have been terminated."

There was a little stab to Sarah's heart for her cruelty and disrespect to Cameron in the past. It made her think about the time she said it would not bother her one bit if she terminated Cameron. She did not understand Cameron at that time like she did now. It was clear that John did back then.

"She always comes to the aid of those she cares about no matter what the damage or risk is to herself. She takes care of John and those he loves." Sarah said. "She is a fine person. She is a wonderful 'woman'."

'Thank You, Cameron.' She thought.

Sarah meant it too.

Kyle wanted to know a little more about her past.

"Can you tell me about John's father?" Kyle asked. "He only would tell me he died before the war. He said he never knew his father. It sounded very sad."

Sarah cringed. This was not what she expected right now.

Kyle could see the physical reaction by Sarah to his question. He knew in an instant that he'd hurt her. Now he felt really bad.

"I'm sorry, Sarah. I did not know it hurt so much, still." Kyle said. "Please forget I asked. I'm really sorry if I overstepped."

Sarah didn't want to forget.

She looked Kyle in the eyes and spoke the truth.

"Kyle, I never stopped loving him from the day I met him to now, even to this day." Sarah said.

Sarah looked longingly at Kyle.

Kyle wondered if he had any chance. It seemed a stretch at this point. With her love that strong for someone who died a long time ago, it seemed like an uphill climb. He still needed to try. He believed in his feelings.

"That is devotion. Is there any room in your heart for someone else?" Kyle asked.

He was a little worried now.

Sarah broke down. She wanted to tell him the truth.

"NO! The answer is - NO." Sarah said.

Kyle looked confused. He felt shattered. He did not expect to hear this today. It looked like he'd struck out before he even stepped up to bat.

Sarah looked directly at him. She wanted, no, needed to tell him. She took his hand and tried to smile.

"Sit down, please." Sarah said.

They both sat on the bed.

Kyle thought she was about to 'close the door' on him.

There was a knock at the door. That disrupted Sarah's thoughts and upset her.

"Go away." Sarah said angrily.

"Mom, it's me." John said.

Sarah thought this was a 'God send'.

"Come in." Sarah said.

John came in the room.

"Sit between us." Sarah said as she slid over.

John sat down.

Kyle seemed a little confused at this development.

"Kyle, what do you see in front of you?" Sarah asked.

John looked forward and knew what she was doing. It was time. John wanted this moment for so long.

Kyle looked in front of him.

"I see a dresser." Kyle said.

Sarah wanted him to look a little higher.

"What's on the dresser?" Sarah asked.

"I see a mirror." Kyle said.

"Look at it. Look in the mirror, Kyle. What do you see?" Sarah asked.

Kyle looked in the mirror. He starred at the reflection of Sarah, John and himself.

There was a long pause. He turned and looked at both of them directly. He then turned back to the mirror. It hit him like a 'ton of bricks'.

"Oh my God!" Kyle said.

He looked and felt very confused.

John and Sarah smiled at him.

"This is a reflection of the past. This is a past reflection, isn't it?" Kyle asked.

Sarah felt such relief and joy. He understood or at least started to.

There was nothing left for Kyle to do but ask it.

"John, am I your father?" Kyle asked.

John was overjoyed.

"Yes, Dad. I wanted to tell you from the second I saw you." John said.

Sarah faced Kyle and said what she wanted to say from the moment she saw who he was in the TDE room.

"I have never stopped loving you, Kyle. That is why there is no room in my heart for anyone else. You have never left it." Sarah said.

Tears streamed from her eyes and her heart.

All three of them embraced.

"How is this possible?" Kyle asked.

"It was 'you' from the future that Cameron is from who was sent back to save mom, Kyle. You were sent back by a future version of me - Future John." John said.

Kyle needed to think about this for a little bit. It was very confusing.

"Right, Cameron's future is different than mine. It is all the same people right?" Kyle asked.

John thought of Future Derek lying dead on the floor of the Weaver residence.

"Yes. It is the exact same people with divergent timelines." John said.

Kyle was unsure how that worked. There was also a bigger issue.

"I don't know tech stuff but you said your father was - dead." Kyle said.

Sarah burst into tears.

"You died protecting and saving me, Kyle." Sarah said. "You died for John and me."

Kyle did not like to hear that 'he' died.

"That future or past sucks." Kyle said.

Sarah could agree with that statement.

"It sure did. I have cried for you ever since. Now you are here with John and me. The three of us are together at last." Sarah said. "I can't believe you are alive and here."

Kyle knew death stalked him in his future.

"I would not be, if it was not for Cameron." Kyle said.

John stood and gave Kyle a big hug.

"I love you, Dad. I am proud of the man you are as my father." John said with tears in his eyes.

John gave him a big smile and another hug.

"I will leave you two alone for now and make sure you are not - disturbed." John said.

John gave each one of them another hug and left.

Sarah took Kyle's hand. She looked him in the eyes.

"Kyle, you know I love you." Sarah said. "I always have."

Kyle felt the same way.

"I love you too, Sarah." Kyle said.

Sarah knew there was an issue she needed to address.

"Kyle, I know I am a little more 'mature' now than when we first met. I am still a woman. I am still productive. I can understand if you want someone who is youn…."

Kyle put his finger to her lips.

"Don't say it, don't think it. I love you, Sarah, just the way you are right now, right here." Kyle said.

They kissed.

"I have wanted this moment for so long, Kyle." Sarah said. "I want …."

Kyle kissed her again.

"We both want this, Sarah. I want it too." Kyle said.

Sarah placed his hand on the top button of her shirt.

"Are you ready for a lifetimes worth of passion soldier?" Sarah asked.

Kyle saw it as his dream come true.

"Yes." Kyle said. "This is what I have waited for."

Kyle started to unbutton her buttons, one by one.

Past Reflections

Can one see into the future
As they look through the window of the past
Does anything really ever change
Will the future play with a different cast

One can experience what happens today
The future is more difficult to forecast
Will what was be different than what will be
Moments in time can bled or contrast

If those involved are always the same
Their future is set and they are typecast
The only way change ever really happens
Is if all of the actors are recast

Beware of being caught up in the moment
Things can happen quick and fast
A foundation that is built on nothing
Will never endure, expand or last

Past reflections may forever haunt us
Warping the future and, leaving one an outcast
Does one bend or fold and run
Or to their true love remain steadfast

Nobody