AN: Thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!

Chapter 7

Spoilers: themes from 'Shadow' and 'Salvation'

Warnings: mentions of non-con

Sam stood shocked as he stared at his father. His voice quieter than before. "Dad?"

"Sammy." John answered in his low voice as he took a step forward, expecting his son to allow him entry.

A still stunned Sam took a step to the side. "What are you doing here?"

John waited before answering. He looked around and took an inventory of their room. When he turned again to his son, he noticed the dark circles and injected eyes. Something was clearly happening. "Bobby called me." With those simple words, John saw Sam's gaze fall to the floor; but he did not speak. "He told me how impressed Stephen Foster was with your handling of the poltergeist." He paused, waiting for Sam to interject. "Stephen could not stop raving about you two. He said you were a bright, strong kid and that the 'sister' was quite a beauty and very capable. He said you saved his family and his livelihood." John's eyes narrowed as he placed his hands on his hips.

Sam swallowed as he heard his father speak. He felt like a little boy all over again. He clenched his cheeks to keep the tears from falling.

"Damn it, Sam! What the hell is going on?" He looked around the room. "Where's Dean?"

"I...I..." Sam started to feel the beads of sweat accumulating on his brow. He stammered over his words, afraid to tell his father what happened to Dean.

"What did Dean get himself into?" John continued. "Did he get cursed by a succubus or some other demon?" He was beginning to tire of Sam's silence. "When were you going to pick up the phone and tell me about this?"

Suddenly, Sam looked up; fire blazing in his eyes. "Are you serious?" He finally found his voice. "You disappear months ago, leaving Dean alone. We've been trying to find you. Dean told me he called when we were in Lawrence." His voice continued to rise. "I called you when Dean was DYING, Dad!" He saw John's head fall slightly. "And Dean gets cursed and becomes a woman, and you EXPECT me to call you! You are UNBELIEVABLE!" Sam took deep breaths as he tried to let the anger seep away. This wasn't helping Dean. "You didn't give a shit before, so why now?"

"That's not fair, Sam." John answered.

"Isn't it, Dad?" Sam shook his head in utter disbelief at the nerve of their father. "So, it was this easy for you to show up?" His hurt eyes watered slightly. "We've been driving all across the country...looking for you...fighting your fight...why now? Why did you come now?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay." He held his hand up when he saw Sam was about to interject. "I knew you'd be able to handle yourself with Missouri's help in Lawrence and find aid for Dean when you headed for Nebraska." He sighed. "Things were too hairy for me to make my presence known at the time."

"Why?" Sam continued to push, not satisfied with the explanation so far.

"I'm getting close, Sammy. To the demon who killed your mother...and Jessica..." He trailed off when he saw the pained look in Sam's eyes. "I'm sorry about your girlfriend, Sam. I really am. I wished you didn't have to go through that." He took a deep breath. "Look, I'm here. I want to help. Now, where is Dean?"

Sam's voice hitched as he went to sit on the bed. He ran his fingers through his hair.

John looked around again and saw their bags packed. His heart dropped as his voice cracked when he spoke again. "Sammy? Where. Is. Dean?"

Sam looked up as a few tears escaped. "We...we had a fight...and she drove off the other night..."

"You let Dean go off...by 'herself'." He accentuated the last word as he spoke plainly with a non-accusatory tone. "Is Dean able to fight? How big is she?"

Sam spoke in a small voice. "A-About 5 ft 2...110 pounds..." John closed his eyes briefly, but said nothing. Sam forced himself to continue. The guilt within him was overwhelming. He felt bile rising in his throat as he continued. "He...she...didn't come back after a few hours. So, I started looking for her. I went to the town and looked at the local bar and then I went to the police."

John's eyes widened. "You involved the police?"

Sam stood up quickly. "I HAD to, Dad! She just vanished! I just wanted to find her." He said in a desperate tone. "They drove me outside of town and we found the Impala, abandoned." He closed his eye as another tear escaped. "W-we waited till first light and after four hours we found Dean..."

By the tone of his voice, John knew the news was bad. "Is Dean..." He couldn't even say the words.

"The bastards that took her...they beat her and she was in some cellar, barely breathing..." He shook his head to clear the image of her battered body lying on the stone cold floor.

"Sammy, where is he now?"

"They flew Dean to Los Angeles Memorial Hospital." Sam had nothing left to say as he turned towards the window. An uncomfortable silence engulfed the room. Sam wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling cold.

John wanted to go over to his youngest son and embrace him, but he could not force his feet to make the small journey over to him. He clenched his fists that hung at his side. He thought he taught his boys to always watch out for each other. He took a few calming breaths and spoke to Sam's back. "Let's go." He ordered Sam forcefully. He watched as Sam turned back to face his father, the guilt shining in his young eyes. He hoped to see some reassurance and hope from his dad, but there was none. He walked to his discarded bags and picked them up. He followed his father to the parking lot; each Winchester getting into their own cars. Sam waited for his dad to pull out of the parking lot, and he followed.

They arrived in Los Angeles within three and a half hours. Sam was thankful that they had not encountered any police on their way. They pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. They walked silently toward the entrance. When they stepped inside they immediately found patient information. A kind woman informed them that Dean was in the Intensive Care Unit in Room 2608. They found the correct set of elevators and pressed the second floor button. Neither could look at the other. The elevator doors opened and they stepped out. They followed the signs leading to the large cedar doors that denoted the entrance into the ICU. Sam pressed the button and the doors whooshed open. He felt slightly intimidated as he surveyed the scene before him. It was a large unit. Every patient room had glass door entrances. Many nurses and doctors scurried around taking care of the patients. Sam and John walked up to the main desk. A secretary looked up and smiled.

"May I help you?"

Sam cleared his throat. "Uh, my sister was sent here...Dean...Dean Buckley."

She looked up at the electronic board. "Yes. Room 2608. Let me check with the nurse to see if you can visit right now." She picked up the phone and dialed. She waited a moment before speaking. "There are two visitors here...yes...immediate family..okay." She replaced the receiver. She gestured to their left. "Go ahead. Her nurse is Pam. It is okay for a visit."

"Thank you." Sam said quietly as he looked at his dad. The two walked down the hall and stopped in front of Dean's room. Before going in, their nurse met them at the entrance.

"Hi, I'm Pam. I will be Dean's nurse until 7 pm. And you are?"

"I'm Sam. Dean's brother."

John cleared his throat. "John. Dean's father."

Pam smiled sympathetically. This was always the hard part. She spoke kindly. "I just wanted to let you know what you will see. Dean has a tube down her throat helping her to breath. The tube in her nose is to keep a lot of air from her stomach. She has two major IV's. One in her neck, so we can draw blood and give her medication. That is called a central line. The other is in her wrist, so we can monitor her blood pressure. She has a catheter in her bladder, so we can watch her urination. Depending on how long she needs all this, we can provide liquid nutrition through her IV."

"How is Dean doing?" John asked as his concerned eyes hesitantly looked at Dean.

"She's been here for about 5 or 6 hours now. She is about the same. Her blood pressure is stable. That's good."

"Can we talk to her doctor?" Sam asked quietly.

Pam nodded. "While you are visiting, I can see if he can come talk to you." She noticed their trepidation. "Don't be afraid. Go ahead." She gestured. "Talk to her. Hold her hand. Let her know that you're here."

Sam was the first to walk up to her bedside. The only movement from Dean was the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest timed to the breathing machine. She looked so small surrounding by all the electronics and monitors. Pam had placed a chair by her bedside. His hand shook as he grasped her tiny one as he sat down. He lowered his head as he whispered. "I'm so sorry...God...Dean..." He looked up at the nurse after he noticed Dean's eyes were closed by tape. "Her eyes?"

"We close them like that to prevent dryness."

"Is she in pain?" Sam asked as he turned back to Dean.

"We are giving her a mild sedative and some pain medicine." After she was sure that Sam had no other questions, she excused herself to call the doctor.

After ten minutes, Sam gently placed her hand back on the bed. He turned to his father, who stood in the back of the room. He saw tears in his eyes as he stared at Dean. Sam mumbled to his father, "I'll be outside," and left him alone. John cautiously walked to Dean's bedside. The shock of seeing his eldest boy as a female coupled with his condition was almost too much to bare.

He sat down and looked at her still face. He brushed a blond lock of hair out of her eye. "Dean..." He whispered as he rubbed his eyes to force the tears back. He looked down at her delicate hands. He noticed the chipped and bruised fingernails. He carefully held her hand. "You fought back...didn't you..." He said as the tears welled up again. He sat like that for some time until Sam entered the room again.

"Dad. The doctor can talk to us now." He watched as John placed her hand back down. The eldest Winchester took one last look at Dean and then followed Sam down the hall to the conference room.

They waited a few minutes and then the doctor arrived. He was an older man, in a starch white coat that matched the color of his hair. He extended his hand. "I am Dr. Nile. You must be Sam." He nodded his head as they shook hands. "Mr. Buckley."

"John is fine."

"Very well. Please have a seat." When the Winchesters settled he began. "I am sure you would like an update on Dean's condition."

Sam interjected. "My dad was not with us in Mason, so if you could...you know..."

"Sure." He took a deep breath before starting. "As you know, Dean is very ill. She was having difficulty breathing on her own, so the doctors appropriately intervened. She has evidence of strangulation injury, some blood loss, and she was very cold at the time. We have successfully gotten her body temperature back to normal. She had some blood loss because of trauma to her abdomen."

"What kind of trauma?" John asked.

"I can only speculate: possibly fists or other objects." He paused as he saw John shudder slightly. "She had some blood pressure problems earlier, but it seems stable for the time being."

Sam spoke. "The doctor in Mason said she was in a coma. Is she going to get better?"

"Only time will tell, Sam. The next 2-3 days will tell us a lot. Right now, I only have a minimum amount of sedation medicine running. We will watch her closely for signs of waking up. It is too early to say." He waited for a moment before continuing. He cleared his throat. "She also had evidence of a sexual assault." Sam looked at his dad and then back at the doctor. John took a step forward.

"What do you mean?" John asked in a tight tone.

The doctor elaborated. "Dean shows signs of being raped and sodomized by her captors." John turned and walked toward the window. He looked as if he was going to punch the glass, but stopped himself at the last moment. "From the reports I heard, the three men responsible were killed by the police. Regardless, we gathered evidence if it would be needed. We will give her the appropriate preventative medicines as well." He watched as Sam hung his head and John stayed by the window. The doctor stood. "We will do everything in our power to help Dean get better. The road may not be easy. Sometimes you will feel that you take one step forward and two steps back. But, be strong for her." He paused. "Do you have any more questions?"

Both men shook their heads.

"Thank you, Doctor." Sam forced out. They were left alone in the room. The silence was stifling. John stood by the window, while Sam sat in the chair. The words of the doctor sunk into their heads. Sam glanced at his father. "Dad?" He sounded like a lost boy. "Dad, please look at me." He was not sure what he'd see when John turned around. He expected to see disappointment and blame. What he saw made his breath catch: there was fear in John's eyes. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Sam repeated over and over again and sobbed as he buried his head in his hands. John allowed a tear to escape his eye. He walked over to Sam and stood in front of him. He leaned forward and embraced his youngest child. Sam wrapped his arms around his father's waist and continued to cry and whisper, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

John gently stroked Sam's hair as he tried to comfort him. "Dean will be alright, Sammy...Dean will be alright."

TBC...