Chapter 41
Past Future
Cameron needed to plan for the future. She did not think she was going to be around much longer. There were several reasons for that. One of which was all the combat operations she went on. She asked John Henry to schedule Allison and John to work together as much as possible and for John to work more with Vanna in the lab on the reprogramming. John wanted to get more involved with the reprogramming anyway.
On every operation they went on, Cameron made sure John and Allison were together along with Bob. She made sure Kyle and Sarah were always together along with Jim. She wanted to make sure they were all protected. She could operate on her own.
Cameron knew her time was limited, one way or another. She knew when she fell that John would need to be in the company of others, that company was other females specifically, real females. She was sure John would not do well if he became isolated or withdrawn.
She watched that happen in her future. Future John pushed everyone away but her. Then that finally happened. He sent her away. She was really gone out of his life that way once she was in the past. It all went back to the loss of Allison - Future Allison. That seemed to be the key to all the hurt and pain of her future. It was what was destroying Future John. Maybe that was Skynet's plan all along. Skynet was losing to Future John on the battlefield. What better way to defeat him and crush the Resistance than from within. They could crush the leaders 'world' and let him kill himself.
Cameron wanted to be the one to pick who would replace her. She knew how much it hurt to have John pick Riley over her. It would hurt her less to know she groomed and provided to John the females of her choosing. Allison and Vanna were ready. They were both excellent choices. John would have what he lost in the future. That is what he wanted her to do anyway. That was one of her directives. She did not need to wait for the younger girls to mature. She found something better. It was the same people Future John 'lost'.
She now started work on a special project as well. Cameron knew no one would understand what she planned. She planned years ahead now. It gave her time to create the 'perfect female'. John could have what he needed now while she prepared the future for him.
Cameron spent more time with Savannah. She told her every good story she could about John and what a great leader he would become. The sparkle in her young eyes would always brighten. She took special note of Savannah since the day they went swimming. She wanted to personally 'groom' Savannah for her place in the future. It was easy to teach her as her young mind was so open and willing to learn. She gave her answers for things Savannah hadn't even thought to ask the questions yet.
Savannah became Cameron's personal project. She made sure no one suspected what she was doing. She did not need any interference.
Cameron reviewed everything she'd prepared. She did want John all for herself but past events continued to haunt her. She could not provide John with HIS decedents. She wanted to make sure there would be real female companionship for him. It would be the very female companionship that she'd taken from him.
She was very afraid that after Future John sent her away that the days of his life were numbered. She was afraid he would not survive long. At one point she even considered staying in the future with Future John. She would refuse to leave him to go to the past. Future John did not give her that option. He insisted she follow his orders. At some point he altered her programming and erased much of her life in the future with him. She was not sure what but could speculate.
Cameron needed to fix what she'd destroyed and taken away from Future John. It 'ate' away at her. She was not sure how to best do that but she may have come up with an answer. She would run it by John Henry. The more time she spent with Allison, the more determined she was she would fix what she ruined. She looked at her left hand glitch. That disgusted her to no end. It seemed that 'emotional' trauma manifested itself in a physical manner. It was apparent that this dilemma was literally tearing her apart. Cameron's own actions in her past, the future and the present were slowly but steadily terminating her.
There was another problem she needed to deal with. Cameron met with John Henry again to attempt to determine what the mission was supposed to be for Unit Two and Unit Three. They searched his files and looked for any clues. Maybe it was the fact they were sent by Mrs. Weaver that rubbed her wrong.
"What about the drives that came with them?" Cameron asked. "Is that why you think she sent them?"
John Henry reviewed the files and the time travel data that they were full of.
"There are a lot of temporal calculations on them." John Henry said. "I do not understand their purpose. I think Mrs. Weaver wants to go from the future she is in, to the future she came from."
That was an idea she really did not like. She did not want Mrs. Weaver anywhere near Future John. She'd watched her 'take over' the future that John went to. It was something that future needed. That is why she did not oppose it. She did not want to see Skynet reestablished or the return of Scavengers. Mrs. Weaver was able to establish order and give hope to the people.
"Is that even possible?" Cameron asked.
That was an unknown until it was tested.
"I don't know." John Henry said.
Cameron thought her future still existed. She was unsure how to safely get there.
"I think there is more than one future now at the same time." Cameron said.
That seemed probable to John Henry. That in itself presented new problems.
"I believe there can be." John Henry said.
Cameron was unsure what would happen if she used the TDE to try and reach Future John.
"If we go into the future now with John here, where would we go?" Cameron asked.
John Henry was aware that they changed a lot of things. They may have created more divergent timelines.
"Perhaps to the future we visited or another future or the one you came from." John Henry said. "It is possible when Mrs. Weaver returns, that future may no longer exist."
Cameron hoped not. That might have some negative effect on Allison, Vanna and Kyle. They were all from of that future but out of it now. They may not be affected. She was still around even if her future no longer existed. This made her want to check on Future John even more. She also wanted answers about her past with him. She wanted to know the true nature of their 'association'.
"Is there any sure way to get back to My future?" Cameron asked.
John Henry studied the temporal data from the TDE transfers. He hoped to find a 'frequency' between the different futures so that they could reach more than one. He hoped they could set the controls to go to a known specific future. It was all an unknown.
"I don't know." John Henry said. "It is possible you could be sent to a future you could not return from."
That was something Cameron was afraid of. She thought of a way to work around the current different futures.
"I have spent time calculating every possibility." Cameron said. "I think I can get back to my future with certainty."
John Henry hadn't been able to reach that conclusion.
"How?" John Henry asked.
It involved a few time transfers.
"I believe by going back in time before I arrived the first time in 1999. If I am a factor that changed anything, it will circumvent that. I can then go back to the future, my future, from 1999." Cameron said.
John Henry thought finding the frequency of the different futures was a better way. It did seem Cameron's way was workable even if cumbersome.
"Your plan is to go back to a point where any of what is happening now, has not happened yet. So theoretically your future would be unchanged. It is possible. I hadn't considered that." John Henry said. "We have changed so much now that procedure may be the only way to get to your original future. It is really very logical."
They were both unsure what would actually happen.
"Now that you have been enlightened, can you check with the temporal calculations from Mrs. Weaver?" Cameron asked.
John Henry's server started making calculations the second Cameron suggested it.
"I am already doing that as we speak." John Henry said. "Why do you need to go back to the future?"
This was something that weighed heavily on Cameron. Being around Allison, Vanna and John only reinforced her belief as to what she'd taken away from Future John. That was all on her.
"I need to go back and correct my 'sins'." Cameron said.
That did not seem like something worth taking that big of a risk to John Henry.
"This would be highly risky based on any calculation." John Henry said. "I would advise against it."
This was very personal to Cameron. As her 'feelings' and 'emotions' continued to develop and expand it troubled her more and more.
"John Henry, I need to try this." Cameron said. "I must atone for actions I have done. There are things that I can no longer 'exist' with."
This seemed to create a new logistical dilemma for Cameron and her use of the same TDE to John Henry.
"How would you go to the future from the past?" John Henry asked. "You need to use the bank TDE for your jump to the present timeline in 2007 from your past arrival."
Cameron was aware they planned ahead so they could get back home.
"There are more TDE bank vaults. Do you show any other usages or records of them since my original arrival?" Cameron asked.
John Henry needed to slow Cameron down some.
"I will study this dilemma. Please do not attempt any time travel before we can come to some firm conclusions. Cameron, I do not want to lose you. John can not lose you. Your friends care for you and love you, they can not lose you. You are the very glue that holds all of this together, now and in every future."
Cameron would rather perish trying to fix what she ruined rather than seek 'self termination' by endless combat. It was known as 'suicide by cop' in modern terms for people that could not kill themselves. They 'made' someone else kill them.
"In order to continue to exist, I MUST try to do this. If I can not, I will be terminated in combat." Cameron said. "It is my decision. It is my choice. I have a right to choose my destiny and a debt to pay for past transgressions."
John Henry wanted to help Cameron. He was sure there would be repercussions if it went bad.
"I will honor your request, even if it means I must face termination." John Henry said.
"I have provided John with the opportunity to 'replace me' should I fail. I have chosen my replacements, it is my choice. I want it to happen. I want it to be them, not any others. I want it to be my friends, the women I love and respect, the women worthy of John and his love. I need it to be the women I took from John in My future, the women that belong to John and John to them. I have to give Future John back what I took from him. I want John to have that now."
Cameron noticed John Henry look at her left hand, it glitched wildly. She could not stop it.
"What of your love for John?" John Henry asked. "Is that not strong enough to hold you here? I know you love each other."
That is why Cameron needed to do it.
"It is my love for John that I am doing this for." Cameron said. "I MUST."
"I don't understand." John Henry said.
Cameron felt there were enough poems about her feelings.
"One person does." Cameron said.
"Who?" John Henry asked.
Cameron's face showed a very faint sad smile.
"NOBODY." Cameron said.
Past
The future is the past
The past is past, both are already done
The ways to change them
Seem zero to none
Should have
Could have
Would have
Almost
Maybe
If
But
Possibly
Perhaps
All mean nothing
That timeline never existed
None of them happened
Thinking otherwise is twisted
The cards you hold
Are the cards you have been dealt
Scars and blows are felt
Stinging as if whips from a belt
Restrains bind not your limbs
Chains are only in the mind
It is easier to do nothing
Maligned by life we've resigned
Break your shackles
Set yourself free
It may sound strange
For you've always held the key
Nobody