Seth woke up with a sharp pain in his head. He moaned as he raised his hand to his forehead.
"Ugg," He said as he opened his eyes. He looked around his room and wondered what he had done last night. Apparently it was something exciting enough that he had totally blocked it out. He couldn't even recall what day it was.
He rubbed his eyes with his hand, and as he pulled them away he was startled to note a small gold band sitting on his ring finger.
Seth leapt out of bed and ran down the hall screaming "Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!" all the way to the pool house. Seth threw the door open and leapt on to Ryan's bed.
"Ghaaah!" Ryan exclaimed sitting up, "Seth? What do you want?"
"Owww!" cried Marissa as she sat up. "Get off me Seth!"
"Wait… your back together?" asked Seth puzzled.
"No!" responded Ryan.
"Yes," said Marissa, "wait a minute. 'No'?"
"Okay, that doesn't really matter, what matters is that I think I got married last night!" Seth cried as he showed them the ring.
"You don't think we are back together?" Marissa asked.
"Well we break up so often I can't really keep track."
"Okay… guys are you listening to me. I think I'm married!"
"We don't break up that often," Marissa said pouting.
"As fascinating as this conversation is," said an exasperated Seth, "aren't you supposed to be dead?"
"Who me?" asked Marissa.
"Yes you."
"Ah... no! I think I would know if I was dead," she said haughtily.
"Come to think of it, I distinctly remember you dying right around graduation," Ryan said with a look of concentration.
"Well I wouldn't know about that. I kind of stopped paying attention when I was a lesbian a year and a half ago," she said firmly.
"You were a lesbian?" asked Seth.
"You knew about that right?" Ryan responded.
"Probably. But I think that was during the whole Zach-Summer thing. Life then was kind of a haze. Do you remember it?" asked Seth.
"I vaguely recall something about it. But I was dealing with my pregnant girlfriend at the time."
"No," said Marissa, "That was Theresa, when I was a lesbian you were dating Seth's Aunt."
"I dated Hailey?" asked a confused Ryan.
"No… the other one. What's her face," Seth said. "But that is not important. What is important is that I am married, and we don't know who to."
"Do you think it could be Summer?" asked Marissa.
"Talking about me?" Summer asked as she entered the pool house.
"Yeah! Hey Summer…" Seth stammered. "Did we get married?"
"I don't think so. But who can tell first you like me, then I like you, then we are dating, then broken up, then we are dating other people, the whole thing is messed up and I certainly can't be expected to keep track of it," Summer said and then turned to Marissa, "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"
"No! Why do people keep asking me that?" Marissa exclaimed.
"Well if we aren't married, then who am I married to?" asked Seth.
The four teenagers sat on the bed with their brows furrowed attempting to remember the events of the recent past.
"I've got it!" Summer exclaimed standing up. "You're gay and dating some jock."
"What!" exclaimed Seth, "That makes no sense."
"Really? I distinctly recall you being gay and hanging out with some guy who works at the airport. And your dad owned it or something," Summer said trying to be helpful.
"Okay, I am not gay, and my dad never owned an airport."
"Are you sure?" asked Marissa.
"Yes, he couldn't have, he was in a coma," Seth said authoritatively.
The four went back to their deep concentration.
"This is impossible!" Seth cried, "All I can think about is how Summer lost her virginity to Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live."
"That was an episode of Family Guy!" Summer said as she slapped Seth upside the head.
"Well to be fair," Ryan said, "You do look like the girl from That '70s Show."
"I am not Mila Kunis!" cried Summer, "lets just figure out what is going on here and go home."
Suddenly Marissa vomited all over the bed. "Damn it!" she said, "I just realized I am dead."
"Oh my God! That is so sick!" Seth squealed as he ran from the bed.
"Eww!"
"Now what am I supposed to do?" asked Marissa, "Being dead is going to ruin my whole summer."
"Why don't you become a Grim Reaper?" asked Seth in all honesty.
"I don't want to get a job. I'm dead, I shouldn't have to."
"Hey Ryan!" said Kirsten as she poked her head in the door, "Oh, hi Seth, Summer, why don't the three of you come in for some lunch?"
"Maybe I might like some lunch?" asked Marissa, "Oh wait, you can't see me. I'm dead."
The three living ones left Marissa to clean up the mess she had made while they went into the kitchen to eat lunch. Sadly their lunch was interrupted by the doorbell. Julie Cooper briskly walked into the kitchen and sat next to Seth.
"Hi honey!" she cried as she planted a massive kiss on Seth's mouth.
"What?" asked Seth as he saw his parents' jaws drop.
"What do you mean 'what?' We got married last night," Julie said as she showed a massive diamond ring on her hand to the table.
"I'm married to Julie Cooper?" asked Seth as he couldn't quite wrap his head around the concept.
"Actually it's Julie Cooper-Nickle-Roberts-Trump-Winfry-Cohen now," she said with a large smile. "Don't we just make the cutest couple?"
"I think I am going to make a bigger mess than Marissa," Seth said looking down at his food.
"Speaking of which where is Marissa?" Julie asked looking around.
"Well she died, but she is currently haunting the pool house," Ryan helpfully added.
"That is so like her," Julie said scowling, "She can't even be pleasant in death."