Obligatory Disclaimer: The series Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto; I only own the OCs, picture, and this story.
Chapter 11: Of Emotional Missteps and Homecomings
We walked down the hallway to the classroom silently, accompanied by the muffled laughter of children at play. Noburu and Akane hadn't spoken a word.
Guilt gnawed at me the longer the silence grew. I should've handled that better. Using killing intent on children? What was I thinking? I was better than that; I wasn't Hideyoshi or the elders or even Ikeda-sensei. I didn't gain enjoyment from tormenting children. And using my byakugan against them? It was blatant abuse of my dōjutsu. The final strike was the name and title drop at the end. All unnecessary.
I was better than that; I was supposed to be able to control my emotions better. I couldn't just let them loose like that.
It felt good though, to have someone be scared of me than the other way around.
To have power over someone.
I shook my head, clutching the strap of my bag. I could've ran to find a teacher or something else, something smarter. What if Akane and Noburu saw me differently now? What if they saw me as nothing more than a spoiled clansman like Satomi or the Uchiha? No different than the Akiyama who pushed their own wealth around like power?
What if they didn't want to be friends anymore?
I don't know how much I could take on my own. But maybe I deserved it; I didn't do a thing when Tomiko made Akane uncomfortable in kunoichi class, and I probably just strained tensions between the Akiyama and the civilian pair. They'd probably be harassed even more now.
I'm an idiot.
I'm such an idiot!
"—ko-chan!" Akane's voice ripped through my thoughts and I looked up at her with blurry eyes. I hadn't realized I had stopped walking. She had her hands on my shoulders, concern shining in her red eyes. Noburu shuffled off to the side, looking a bit uncomfortable but similarly worried.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, as the girl pulled out a handkerchief to dab at my watery eyes. "I've made things worse for you."
Akane's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Engaging the Akiyama was foolish on my part." I looked away. "They may not mess with me because of my status, but they'll just pick on you two more because of my actions today."
I couldn't be there for them all the time as much as I wanted to. What if the Akiyama and their little misfit crew jumped them when they walked to the academy? I would never be able to forgive myself if either of them got injured.
Noburu nudged Akane out of the way to stand in front of me. Something swiped across my nose painfully and I jumped back, bringing up my hands to cover my face. I looked up.
The brunette had a deadpan look on his face.
"Are you kidding me? You just gave Taro-baka the verbal beat down of the year and now you're crying about it?"
"B-but-," I began weakly, but he continued over me, flicking at me again which I dodged.
"Taro-baka will be Taro-baka," he shrugged, stuffing the offending hand into the pocket of his blue hoodie. The other went to rub the back of his neck in an almost sheepish manner.
"And it was kinda awesome seeing you stand up for us, so don't go crying about it."
I blinked in surprise as Akane wrapped me up in a hug, which I leaned into automatically.
"You guys don't think I'm stuck-up?"
"Of course not Junko-chan," Akane said, giving me a squeeze. "You were so cool!"
"Besides," I looked up at Noburu as he grinned. "You're too much of a weirdo to be arrogant like them."
"Noburu!" Akane scolded, and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me in relief.
I was just overreacting; I wasn't the same little awkward girl I was in middle school- hell I wasn't even the same person. And Noburu and Akane weren't the same people I knew Before either. They were just like me, always on the outside of things.
We were friends.
"Now come on weirdo, you need to help me ace the ninjutsu quiz on Friday," Noburu grinned as I nodded, rubbing my face with a congested sniffle.
I was alright. I could do this.
The rest of the week pressed on without incident, and Noburu passed the quiz but just barely. Though for his track record, it was an ace. He was terrible at studying. The Akiyama twins hadn't dared to mess with either of the civilians and had taken to avoiding me like the plague, so all was well.
Akane and I were walking out of kunoichi class to a waiting Noburu. We had almost made it to where he was sitting on the little tree swing in front of the academy when we were stopped by Kenta.
He gave a brief nod in greeting to my companion before turning to me.
"Junko-hime, I'm afraid you'll have to come back to the compound right away."
"It isn't a training day is it?" Aunt Mei usually told me these things in advance so I would be ready, though very few were surprise lessons, courtesy of Hideyoshi and the other elders.
I really hoped that wasn't the case; I had a terrible time in taijutsu class today. We had been ordered to do fifty laps around the field, which was a fruitless request in of itself. All of us failed to complete them and so Ikeda-sensei had forced us to do twenty-five circuits of push-ups, crunches, and jumping jacks. Which all of us failed to complete as well. My muscles groaned just remembering it.
She was a slave driver.
He shook his head, a small smile spreading across his face.
"No. Some of the Hyūga that were deployed have returned and so Hideyoshi-sama has called for a clan meeting."
Any words I wanted to say died in my throat as I registered his words. They were back?
My parents were back? I turned to Akane, my face numb. She just smiled at me.
"I'm happy for you Junko-chan." There was a bit of sadness- and longing?- in her eyes. "We can go to Tsukuda's tomorrow after class, okay?"
I was tempted to ask what was wrong but she gave me a nudge in my cousin's direction. I gave a nod before grabbing onto Kenta's hand, unable to contain my excitement. They were back!
I waved to Noburu briefly before tugging my cousin through the gates, ignoring the shouts of Satomi as she followed behind us. We made it to the compound in record time, my little body overexerted with how fast I had rushed through the streets pulling Kenta along. In the back of my mind, I was slightly aware that Kenta and Satomi were panting alongside me. But that didn't matter because they were finally home!
Excitement buzzed under my skin even as Kenta stopped us so we could get presentable before entering the compound. I hadn't given them a break from the time we left the academy and it wouldn't be appropriate to enter the main house looking as though we'd run a marathon. The usual muted atmosphere of the compound was replaced by a light bustle of activity as we joined the flow of people heading into the main building. It was almost cheerful, hopeful. I looked around hoping to catch sight of my mother or father, deflating slightly when I didn't see either of them.
Once we were more respectable, windblown hair gone along with my excitement, Kenta led us into the main conference room which was already filled with shinobi and clansmen alike. There was a drop in the atmosphere as we walked over to where Aunt Mei stood on the branch side. She spared us a brief glance before facing forward where several Hyūga waited, those who had been sent out on the field.
None of them were my parents.
I noticed Hiashi or Hizashi, I couldn't tell with the hitai-ate around his forehead, standing amongst the returned Hyūga. While they all stood with an air of professionalism, I'd be blind if couldn't see the darkness under their eyes and the fresh scars that littered their exposed skin. One kunoichi cast her eyes to where we were and Kenta and Satomi instantly straightened a little, their eyes locked onto her. Although, most of the Hyūga shared the distinctive white eyes, pale skin, and earthy hair colors, she was separate in the way she reminded me of my father and Aunt Mei. It was a subtle way the eyes creased softly in the corners, something I was familiar with. She had to be their mother.
A few more clansmen entered the room and once all were settled, Hideyoshi began to speak.
"As most of you are aware, the war has been a constant threat to the livelihood of all. We have lost a number of our own in the onslaught."
My heart fell straight through my stomach as I realized. The visions, the nightmares, my parents' bodies rotting away somewhere.
No…please no.
I clutched the edge of my yukata as I fought to hold it together, though I couldn't stop the tremor that shuddered through my bones. I had to remind myself to breathe when the elder began to list off the names of the fallen, a hush falling over the room.
Haruki…
Megumi…
Saburo…
Name after name was called off, none that I recognized. Then again, I didn't know many of my clansmen. And although it was selfish, and although I would scold myself later for it, a tiny amount of relief and hope sprung in my chest when neither of my parents' names were called. I relaxed my grip on my yukata, smoothing out the wrinkles.
But where were they?
The air was heavy, the room almost suffocating. I could hear the strained sighs of those who had lost their loved ones around me. The Hyūga did not mourn in the open; it would have to wait until later, when they were in the privacy of their homes. That was just the way the Hyūga ran things.
"Not all is lost, however," Hideyoshi continued after a moment of silence for the departed. "With the ongoing efforts of Konoha and her allies, we are making progress of ending this war, and as such, several platoons are being recalled as I speak."
He nodded towards the line of Hyūga behind him.
"These Hyūga behind me, and those on their way from the field are shining examples of what it means to be a shinobi of the clan." Maybe it was my imagination, but I could've sworn he glanced in my direction. I didn't think much of it. "Be sure to always remember that."
With that, the meeting was dismissed and I stood hollow as the returned shinobi broke the line they were standing in to reunite with their families. The kunoichi from before made her way over to where we stood on the edge of the crowd.
The stern professionalism melted from her face as she smiled. Just like father.
"I'm home, Kenta, Satomi," she greeted, and the pair moved quickly but politely towards her, to wrap themselves around her.
An ache settled in my chest at the sight, but a smile spread across my face regardless. It's not like it was any of their faults, and I was happy for them since I could empathize. I hadn't known before that their mother had been on the field. Mei was happy as well, moving to welcome the woman as well with a smile on her face, one I had not seen in a while. The group seemed to be in their own world as they caught up with each other while I stood to the side, forgotten.
I didn't want to see this. I was happy for them, but even more so I was jealous.
And angry.
And disappointed.
Where were my parents? They had been gone for nearly a year now. Eleven months, two weeks, and three days without a word. I knew I told them not to worry about me, but had they completely forgotten about me too?
What a selfish thought.
Shaking my head, I gripped my bag which still hung around my shoulders. My cousins and aunts seemed so happy talking together, the kunoichi patting Satomi and Kenta's heads fondly as they gabbed cheerfully about their time in the academy. A happiness they deserved, one I didn't want to ruin.
And so none of them noticed when I slipped from the conference hall, hidden by the mass of moving bodies.
I let my feet take me away from the compound with hitched breath and misty eyes, desperately trying to hold onto some semblance of control. I noticed no one and no one noticed me as I moved through streets only vaguely familiar until I recognized nothing. The mild afternoon light flickered through the trees as I found myself in one of the forests that were sprinkled throughout the village. Woodland creatures scattered about as I walked over tree branches, going nowhere in particular.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull myself out my pessimism.
What had been the point of bringing me there? To get my hopes up just to destroy them?
They could've at least spared me the heartbreak. I felt like I was an afterthought to those people; and no matter how much I improved and submitted to their will, it would always be that way. It didn't matter to them that I was merely four years old. I was a prodigy, and prodigies were seen as a symbol of power, of clan prestige. Maybe it would've been best if I had hid my intelligence. At least that way, there wouldn't be so much tension between me and my cousins and I wouldn't feel so isolated at home.
All I wanted was a letter, a simple letter, nothing elaborate, to know that my parent were alive. But I had received nothing. I wondered…did my parent even care anymore? Wouldn't they want to know how their only child was doing?
My breath hitched in my throat and I tripped over a stray tree root. That wasn't true! They cared about me; I knew they loved me, otherwise why would they have gone through the trouble of having the Main Family accept me as one of their own in their absence?
But they still left you.
More and more negative thoughts swirled around my head and an anger brewed underneath my skin. The trees grew sparse around me as I emerged into a clearing. They could be lost or dead somewhere, and here I was thinking badly about them, when they were doing, or had done, the best they could.
But still…!
I closed my eyes tightly and my hands tightened into fists. And with a scream and a sob, I punched the nearest tree.
What was the point of this? Of any of this? Where was my happiness?
Where was my reprieve?
I did everything that was asked of me. Couldn't the universe pay me back in someway? I just wanted my parents back. A letter, anything!
My fists and throat became raw as I continued to punch and scream. I don't know long how I went at it; once my knuckles began to bleed, I instinctively channeled some chakra to numb them and continued to punch and punch, harder and harder, until a sizable dent had formed in the tree. But it didn't make me feel better.
"Junko-san-" a voice cut in through the fog in my head and I turned towards it with a swing of my fist.
A dark blur barely managed to get out of the way as I swung, making contact with another tree nearby, pieces of bark flying once I connected. I was shaking, breath coming out in a wheezing pant. Through my blurred vision, I could make out black hair and dark eyes in a pale face.
Shisui.
He was giving me a wary glance, not knowing what to do; I must've looked quite the mess but I didn't care. I turned away from him. I should've felt embarrassed to have been caught in such a state, clothes dirty, hands bleeding, face, no doubt, blotchy and tearstained. But I felt nothing. Just empty and tired.
Tired of everything.
Even though he was calling to me, I walked away from him, my face towards the ground. I wanted to be alone. He tried to grab my arm but I jerked away; why was he bugging me now of all times? Couldn't he just leave me alone?
If I had been in my right mind, I would've noticed the sound of rushing water in the distance or how the ground ended just a few feet away.
But I wasn't.
And I didn't.
The ground disappeared under my foot as I stepped back into nothing and began to fall.
Posted/Edited: October 10th, 2016
Minor edits: February 2nd, 2017
...
It's Naruto's birthday so why not an update?
Thanks to all those who have added this stories to their favorites and have followed it thus far. Apologies for the shorter than usual chapter, the cut off was too tempting. Expect another chapter relatively soon.
Reviews
Thanks to one who reads too much, TheSunandMoon4321, Harmiona, Annayla, starthedetective, bookdragonslayer, neania99, k123, 372259, Love Stories00, Peon, UniCryin, Guest, Mari, and dorkysora for your lovely reviews. I really appreciate them!
-Harmiona, thanks for coming out of lurking! Don't worry about it too much, I've done my fair share of lurking as well over the years.
-starthedetective, just to clarify, the Akiyama twins or Tomiko rather was referring to Akane's mother, not Noburu's, when she made that dig since Akane is an orphan after all. That'll come into play later.
-Peon, thanks for the clarification on your last review, silly typos.
To become an unstoppable best, Junko is going to need a lot of help. She is in the body of a four year old after all. You have the right idea with the chakra threads and your other ideas are very interesting. Also, I learned through my skulking through the Naruto wikia that the Senju clan didn't/doesn't have a trademark ability or style, so it's entirely possible that she could learn lightning techniques if she can overcome her primary affinity, which would be difficult since earth is weak to it. I won't get into it since I want to avoid spoilers but I can guarantee Junko's greatest asset is her mind so she'll definitely come up with something.
- Mari asked why is Mei shunning her, and I can only say that life is not only complicated for our little protagonist.
Next time on For a Chance at Happiness
Chapter 12: Of Resolution and Fire