This chapter: Sam and Dean confront old issues...and then some fluffy moments...WINCEST

Chapter 14

Sam closed his phone as he stood in the den early the next morning. John had just called. He would be gone for a few more days. He reported what a 'sly son of a bitch' the Sturge demon was. Sam placed the phone down on the table and went back upstairs. He walked by their room and smiled as he saw Dean sleeping peacefully in bed. Before rejoining her, he went to the bathroom. As he brushed his teeth to rid himself of morning breath, he heard a few whimpers. He quickly rinsed and returned to their room.

Dean was squirming, her eyes closed tightly in pain as she panted. "No...Sammy...don't go...please..."

Sam rushed to her side and sat down on the bed next to her. He gently repeated Dean's name to try and awaken her. "Dean. Wake up. Come on." Dean's eyes snapped open as she sat up abruptly.

"Wha?" She slurred and looked around wildly for a moment before focusing on Sam. She seemed to calm immediately. "What happened?"

Sam let out a deep breath. "You were having a bad dream." He did not elaborate. He watched as Dean smoothed her hair and stood from the bed.

"I need to use the bathroom." She said quietly as she tried to smile at her brother. Sam stood there pondering Dean's nightmare. His heart felt heavy with guilt over Dean's fears.

When she returned to their room, Dean called Sam's name. When he did not answer, she gently grasped his arm. "Sam?"

He turned and looked down at her. He hesitated, but felt like he had to express his remorse. Since her attack, his conscience weighed heavily on him. His eyes watered as he spoke softly. "I'm sorry."

Dean raised her eyebrow, a bit confused at his confession. "For what?"

"For what happened to you." He paused. "I'm so sorry."

Dean closed her eyes for a moment before answering. "It wasn't your fault."

Sam started pacing. "But it was! If we hadn't had that fight..."

"Sam..." Dean warned as she clenched her fists to her side.

"Dean, we haven't talked about what happened before you left that night." His eyes pleaded with her.

"There's nothing to say." Dean said tightly as she looked down.

"But there is." Sam responded quickly.

Dean began to walk away. "I'm not going to do this. It doesn't matter." Before she reached the door, Sam stopped her.

"Please. We have to talk about this. You were having a nightmare about it just now!" He said to her back as she faced the door. "You know I'm not going to leave...right?" When she did not immediately answer, Sam's heart fell. "After everything, Dean? You can't believe that."

When Dean turned around, tears shone in her green eyes. "Can't I, Sam? Can't I?" She shook her head as she walked back into the room. She strode to the opposite side near the window. "See, up here," she pointed to her head, "I understand why you left back then. It was something you needed to do. I just wanted you to be happy." She dropped her head as her voice choked. "But it h-hurt...s-so m-much..." Her chin trembled as she fought hard against the tears that she refused to let fall.

Sam took a few steps forward, his heart heavy. "I'm so sorry I hurt you when I left. That's not what I wanted. Everything with dad was so difficult. This life...was hard. But you were always the most important thing to me, Dean. And going away reinforced that."

"Is that why you didn't return my calls?" Dean said in an accusatory tone as her eyes narrowed.

Sam's head dropped in shame. "I was a selfish prick for a while there. I was trying so hard to be someone I wasn't...and I ended up hurting the person I love the most."

He paused. "After everything we've been through, I'm not going to leave."

"I don't need your pity." Dean responded as she turned away.

"It's not pity, Dean! I LOVE YOU. You don't walk away from that."

"But, you did!"

Sam's face tightened as Dean's words hit him like a punch in the gut. "I know. But, part of me thinks that I did for a reason; so maybe we could get to this point." He took a deep breath. "God, Dean. You have to know that I won't leave. Not again." Sam's eyes watered.

Dean's eyes looked pained as she faced Sam. "I want to believe you...so much..." She bit her lip. "But...I don't know if I can."

Sam was silent for a time as he thought about the depths of Dean's insecurities. "You are what I want, Dean." Sam's voice shook. "Do you still want me?"

Dean hesitated and then nodded her head. "And if I turn back?" She asked.

"I told you before. Man or woman. It doesn't matter to me."

"But you always talk about your 'normal' life. I can't give you kids and a white picket fence, Sam. What if one day, that's what you want?" She paused. "I don't think I could handle it if..." She trailed off.

He grasped her shoulders gently and spoke slowly. "I'm not going anywhere, Dean. And I'm just going to have to prove that to you. Maybe, with time, you'll actually believe me." He embraced her. "We'll figure it out. Whatever happens in this life. As long as we're together, I don't care what happens."

After their heart to heart, Sam and Dean grabbed a quick breakfast and changed into workout clothes. They took a long walk around the vast lake and hiked up the neighboring hills for a time. It was the first real exercise Dean had done since her attack. Whether she changed back to her previous form or not, her coma had rendered Dean weak and they knew she had to slowly rebuild her strength.

Following a small lunch, Dean was exhausted from the exercise and went upstairs to nap. Sam sat in the kitchen replaying their conversation from the morning in his head. He understood that it would take time to convince Dean that he would not leave again. Although Sam could not completely regret going to college, he knew how much it hurt his brother. And that, coupled with John leaving him, was the root of so many of Dean's fears.

Sam took a deep breath as he browsed the local paper. He wanted to find something for the two to do that night. He saw an article after some time and smiled. He looked up the stairs towards Dean's room and had an excited flutter in his stomach. He stood up and began to gather a few things.

Dean emerged in the late afternoon and found Sam in the den watching TV. She sat next to him as she rubbed sleep from her eyes. She turned to her brother and noticed a smile on his face.

"What are you grinning about?" She asked.

"I'm taking you out tonight." Sam said proudly as he flipped the TV off.

Dean quirked her well sculpted eyebrow. "What?"

"Yeah. We're going out."

"Again? You dragged my butt out the other night."

"And you had fun. So we're doing it again." He said firmly.

Dean's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Fine. Where?"

"It's a surprise." Sam answered.

"I don't like surprises." Dean responded as she crossed her arms.

"Too bad. We'll leave in thirty minutes." Sam stood and left an annoyed Dean sitting on the couch.

An hour later, Sam stood outside Dean's door knocking. He glanced at his watch. "Jesus, Dean...what's going on in there?"

Dean stood behind her door standing in her underwear staring at her closet. She had two pairs of jeans and three shirts to choose from. She mumbled to herself, "I've got to change back soon." All she could think about right now is that she didn't have a thing to wear. Why was she so damn nervous? She chalked it up to 'stupid freaking female hormones' as she grabbed a pair of jeans and a fitted white long sleeved t-shirt. She laced up her boots and then admired the final product in front of the mirror. She arranged her hair in a more pleasing way as she stared at her reflection. 'Not bad' she thought to herself. She walked towards the door and opened it to find an extremely impatient Sam on the other side.

"What took you so long?" He asked in an exasperated tone.

"I don't have anything to wear." She said petulantly as she pouted.

Sam's heart melted instantly, and then he thought how comical it was for Dean to make that statement. Although, when he thought about it, his brother was pretty vain about his looks. Why wouldn't a female version of him not be the same. It made him think that maybe, Dean was improving; perhaps parts of Dean's unique personality was reemerging. It gave him hope that her fractured psyche was repairing itself. "You look great, Dean. We'll have to pick up more clothes tomorrow. "

"Fine." She responded. "So, where are we going?" She asked in a sweet tone to try to get some info from him.

"Good try." Sam smirked. "I'm not telling until we get there."

They drove nearly twenty miles into the next town. Soon after that, Dean saw a sign for a County Fair. Sam pulled the Impala into a parking space on a grass field and stopped the car. Dean watched him get out and go to the trunk. Sam brought out a couple of rolled blankets and closed the trunk.

"So, what are we doing here?"

"I thought we'd have a little fun and there's a blues concert in about an hour. I know it's not mullet rock, but you like the blues."

Dean smiled widely as her heart melted at the thoughtfulness of her brother. Aside from heavy metal, Dean loved listening to the blues. Very often when he used to hunt alone, he found himself seeking out blues bars in the towns he passed through. "Sam..." She couldn't find the words without getting too emotional.

"Come on. Let's go." He said as he began walking towards the carnival.

As they strolled through the fairgrounds, they absorbed the sights and sounds. Everywhere around them children were laughing and squealing in delight and families eating and playing games. Sam and Dean walked silently, enjoying their surroundings. They had never gotten a chance to attend much events when they were young. Their father was too caught up in the hunt to indulge his boys in simple pleasures such as this.

Suddenly, they stopped when they heard a voice. "Step right up!"

They turned to a man in a booth. "That's right! Step right up!" He repeated to them. "Win the little lady a teddy bear!" Sam shrugged his shoulders and walked towards the booth.

"What do I need to do?" Sam asked as he placed the blankets down.

The scruffy, aged man turned towards the merchandise. "Win your little lady something nice by shooting those bottles. Hit three or more and win a prize!"

Dean rolled her eyes as she watched them. She stepped up to the man. "I think the 'little lady' can win her own prize." Dean said defiantly as she grabbed the rifle from Sam's hands.

The vendor chuckled lightly as he watched this slip of a girl with such bravado. "That's sweet." He said in a sarcastic tone to Sam as he shook his head.

Dean smirked as she narrowed her eyes. "And if I get all ten?"

"Then the giant bear is yours, sweetheart." He said as he chuckled and then winked at her.

Dean nearly gagged at his smarmy gesture, but then turned her attention to the bottles. Sam said nothing but smiled as he stepped out of the way. One by one in rapid succession, Dean hit each bottle square on. After the last bottle fell off the ledge, she handed the rifle back to a stunned vendor and smiled sweetly.

Dean covered her mouth with her hand. "Oops! I got them all!" She giggled and twirled her hair as she looked at him. "Beginner's luck!" She shrugged her shoulders as she turned to Sam briefly; he was trying not to laugh at her joke. "I do believe I get the giant bear, right?" She said with innocent eyes. As he handed the pink bear to her, she saw him scowl.

As the two walked away practically howling, Dean said, "What an ass!"

Dean sat on a blanket a few hundred feet away from the stage. Sam had left a few minutes ago to get them some food. She laid back and looked at the stars. She sighed happily, feeling content for the first time since...forever. It felt nice, for a change, to feel a little carefree and actually have fun. In Dean's experience, she knew it would not last. She shoved her thoughts about demons, her attack and her change away for now. For the time being, she wanted to enjoy her time with Sam. Her thoughts were interrupted when he returned with dinner.

"Hot dogs, cheese fries, and soda." Sam said as he laid out the meal on their blankets.

"Sounds good to me." Dean replied as she dug into the fries. They ate in silence as the concert began.

Once they finished their meal, Sam sat with his legs spread out. He gently grabbed Dean and placed her in between his legs. Dean was stiff at first and then closed her eyes as she heard Sam whisper in her ear. "Is this okay?" She nodded her head as she leaned back against his chest. Sam placed his arms around her small figure and they relaxed in each other's embrace and enjoyed the wonderful music under the clear night sky.

When they returned to the lake house, Dean stopped when she got out of the car. "Sammy, tonight was...well, I just wanted to say thanks." She smiled shyly.

"You're welcome. I had a great time, too." He leaned in and she stood on her tippy toes and they kissed gently. Sam unconsciously grabbed her hand when they began to walk towards the house. As they traversed the steps up to the front door, Dean paused and turned towards Sam.

"You know, Sammy, I'm going to get a crick in my neck kissing you. You and your freakishly tall legs!" She laughed as she walked up two more steps. She was now even with her brother. "That's better." She said as she leaned forward and captured Sam's lips in a passionate kiss. Sam wrapped his arms around her tightly as he caressed her mouth.

He leaned back to catch his breath. He smirked. "It's not my fault you're short, Dean. Guy or girl!" He laughed when Dean playfully elbowed him in the ribs. He picked her up in his arms as he continued to kiss her. He fiddled with the door without diverting his attention from her. Their kiss was endless as they traversed the stairs. When they arrived in their bedroom, Sam gently sat Dean down in the middle of the bed. She looked beautiful, her cheeks flush with passion. He sat down next to her. He saw no fear in her face. He reached up and traced her sculpted cheekbones and licked her lips softly. Sam felt impossibly hard as he touched her. But, he wanted to make sure sure he would not push her; he wanted to let her be in control.

Dean leaned up until she was kneeling and then sat back on her feet. For a moment, she just stared at Sam's face. "Sammy..." she said in a low voice as she brought a shaky hand to touch his face. Her hand went lower as she started unbuttoning his shirt. When she finished her task, she peeled off the garment and encouraged Sam to remove his t-shirt. She sat in awe admiring his chest. It was as if, for the first time, Dean realized how grown up Sam was.

"God, Sammy." Dean forced out as she outlined his chest muscles with her tiny hand. Sam leaned into the touch as he closed his eyes. The softness of her strokes was like exquisite torture. Each muscle twitched slightly as she mapped his defined lines down to his hips.

Sam reached up and kissed her again and then began nipping at her neck. Dean lifted her head as she arched from the sensation. "Dean." Sam moaned as his hands traveled down. He began touching her breasts, when he stopped quickly.

"It's okay..." Dean panted when she saw Sam's hesitation.

Sam looked into her emerald green eyes for any sign of discomfort. "Are you sure?" She nodded and smiled and leaned in to capture his lips once again. She felt Sam lift her shirt over her head. He adeptly unhooked her bra and slowly laid her down on the bed. He licked at her nipple. Dean could not believe how good it felt. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling. As he suckled on one, Sam gently kneaded her other breast with his hand.

As their arousal grew Sam moved on top of Dean. When she felt his rock hard erection pressing into her jeans, she suddenly stiffened as her breath quickened. Sam opened his eyes and knew instantly that Dean was frightened. "Dean?" He asked in a worried voice as he quickly moved to the side of her.

Dean sat up hyperventilating and shaking. With pained eyes, she looked at her brother. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, Dean." Sam implored. "Come on...slow your breathing down. It's okay. Sshhh. It's just me." He leaned in and held her. "It's Sammy. You're safe with me. Nothing bad will get you again. I promise."

As she regained her composure, she spoke quietly into his chest. "I thought I was ready."

"You don't need to rush, Dean."

"I know...I just wanted to be with you." She added softly.

He grasped her shoulders lightly in order to face her. "And I want to be with you, too. But, we are already together. When we make love, I want you to be truly ready."

"Thanks, Sammy." Her heart was filled with such love for her brother at that moment. She felt a giant weight was lifted from her. He understood her fears and respected her feelings. That meant everything. One day, she would overcome her trauma and feel whole again. Until then, she knew Sam would be patient as she took baby steps towards recovery.

After some time, Dean looked down for a moment as she bit her lip. "I'm sorry."

"Dean, why are you apologizing again?"

She gestured to his jeans. Sam's arousal was obvious and was probably painful at this point.

"Don't worry about it." He glanced around the room for a moment. "I'll just go to the bathroom and I'll be back and then we'll turn in."

He saw Dean blush. "You don't have to...go to the bathroom...you can...right here." She stuttered and had an embarrassed smile on her face.

"What?" Sam's eyes were wide. "Right here?" He swallowed nervously. "In front of you?" Dean shrugged her shoulders as if to say 'why not'. Even though he saw the bashful gesture, he saw a glint of lust in her eyes too. He smiled at her and slowly pulled his pants and boxers down. He leaned back on pillows propped up against the backboard. He made sure to keep eye contact with her as he slowly reached his hand down. He gasped as his cold hand grasped it. He arched slightly as he began to stroke slow at first, but then needing more, he sped up. It had been so long since he had relief, he knew he would not last long. He felt his eyes drifting closed as he felt nearly overwhelmed by the feeling of this coupled with Dean watching him.

"Sammy..." Dean whispered from the edge of the bed. "Talk to me..." She said as her cheeks flushed.

"God..." Sam groaned as he turned his lustful eyes towards her. "You're so fucking beautiful, Dean..." He arched up again as he knew his climax was impending. "I can't wait to slide into you...make love you...Jesus...baby..." He felt sweat accumulating on his brow as he panted. He was so close and suddenly, he nearly jumped as he saw Dean crawl towards him and wrap her hand over his. He was lost after a few strokes. "DEAN!" He yelled as he came powerfully; he was fortunate to be lying down because he was lightheaded and dizzy.

When he was able to focus again, he saw Dean smirking. "That was pretty hot." She said as she used his shirt to wipe off his chest.

"I'd say so...I nearly passed out." Sam chuckled.

"Who knew you had a kink?" Dean smiled.

"Me?" Sam said, feigning shock. "It was your request."

"In which you happily complied." Dean added.

"Fine." Sam huffed. "Guilty as charged." Sam stood and put on his boxers and a clean shirt. Dean changed into a pair of boxers and a tank top. Sam got into bed and Dean followed. He pulled the covers over them and sighed contentedly as Dean laid against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and reached over to turn the light off.

The next morning, Sam slowly awakened to a ringing noise. When he realized it was his cell phone, he forced himself from bed. He dug through a pile of clothes to find his pants from last night. He followed the noise and finally found it. "Hello?" He slurred as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He stood straighter when he realized it was his dad. "Yeah, dad...uh huh...sure...yes, sir." Sam hit the end button.

"Was that Dad?" Dean said as she slowly sat up in bed. Sam nodded. "What did he say?" She asked.

"He's coming back today."

TBC...