Chapter 17

Dean and Sam walked into their bedroom silently. The younger Winchester sat exhausted on the bed. Dean walked to the window when she heard a car door open outside. She turned slightly to glance at the clock. As the car roared to life, she watched as her dad pulled away to go to his job. "It's probably for the best." She mumbled to herself. Her dad needed time to process their conversation.

"Dean." Sam said quietly from the bed. She walked over to him. "Do we need to talk?"

Dean brushed a lock of hair away from her face. "There's nothing left to say, Sam." She answered in an exasperated voice. The strain of the situation was starting to wear her down.

"You don't believe him, do you?" Sam asked, his eyes saddened. "I won't leave you."

"I know." She replied. "But..." Dean looked down.

"But what?"

"Nothing."

"Dean, please. Don't shut me out now. Not after everything."

She took a deep breath. "What happens when I turn back? Things will be different between us." She inched closer until she stood in front of him. Sam wrapped his arms around her waist as he looked up at her.

"Yes, it will be different. The dynamics will change a little." He smirked as he scooted back on the bed slightly. He reached forward and gently lifted her until she straddled his lap. They were now face to face. "As much as I love you and enjoy the fact that I can fit you into my back pocket..." He flinched and laughed heartily as she playfully hit his chest. "I fell in love with Dean: my emotionally closed off, cocky, cowboy big brother.

"Hey!" Dean pouted as she swatted at his head. "That's not fair!" She laughed.

Sam's tone turned serious. "I mean it, Dean. I love you now and I will love you when you turn back. I. JUST. WANT. YOU." He leaned in to kiss her chastely. After pulling apart, Dean turned away and wiped at her eye.

"Stupid female hormones." She muttered as she wiped her tear away.

"Are we okay?" Sam asked after giving her a moment. When she hesitated, he lifted her chin. "Dean?"

She swallowed heavily. "When I turn back, I don't know even then if I can..."

"Remember what I've said all along. I will never force you if you're not ready."

She sounded nervous. "I know...but...it's just not that."

"What is it then?" He asked gently.

She ducked her head in embarrassment. "I won't know what to do. I-I...I mean...I've never been with a guy before...um...when I was a guy." Her face turned a crimson red.

Sam smiled as he thought how cute Dean looked. "It's okay. I'll be able to show you."

Dean lifted her head in surprise. "Wait. What?" Sam grinned. "When?" She asked.

He took a deep breath. "There was a guy I hung out with a few times. When I first got to Stanford." He paused. "Before Jessica." Dean said nothing at this revelation. She did feel a slight tinge of jealously, though.

Dean thought for a moment. "So, you're bi, then?"

"Guess so."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" She asked with hurt in her voice.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't think you'd understand. We hadn't actually talked so much when I was there. Besides, it was only that one time."

Dean was not sure sure why she wanted to know more, but she kept pushing. "Did you like it? Did you like him?"

"It was fine." That was all Sam said. Dean had the feeling he was leaving something out.

"Why just that once?"

"Well, I met Jess and..." It sounded like Sam was dodging the question. Dean eyed Sam with scrutiny. He looked away before turning back to face her. "He wasn't you." Sam whispered as he dropped his gaze. "He was tall, with blondish hair and green eyes. For a moment, I wanted to feel like I was with you." Sam bit his lip. "But, it wasn't you..." His voice choked.

"Oh, Sam..." Dean grabbed her brother's face and brought her lips against his. They moaned as their kiss deepened. As she straddled Sam's lap, she felt his arousal growing. She was not fearful.

Sam pulled back panting. He leaned his forehead against hers. "Do you trust me?"

Dean nodded. "Yes." She breathed out. Sam kissed her again. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. He picked her up and laid her gently on the bed. He stood up for a moment and removed his pants and boxers.

"I want to make you feel good, Dean." Sam said as lust filled his eyes. He placed his fingers on her pants and adeptly unfastened the button. He slowly lowered the zipper and removed her jeans and her underwear. He gazed at her with such love in his eyes. As he lifted her shirt over her head, he placed featherlight kisses on her toned belly. Dean closed her eyes and shuddered slightly as she felt his breath tickling her skin. "So beautiful..." Sam whispered. "My Dean...all mine..." He declared as he crept downwards. Dean felt Sam lift her legs and shivered as he licked her clitoris gently.

"Sammy..." She groaned as he began to suck more forcefully. "Oh my god..." She panted as she became increasingly overwhelmed with the sensation.

Sam looked up for a moment and smiled as he saw her flushed cheeks as her head moved from side to side. She was a goddess. He continued to increase his assault on her sex.

"Sammy...don't stop...don't stop!" Her voice rose as she grabbed onto his brown locks. The feeling was incredible. "Oh...Oh...Aah! She screamed as her body arched and stiffened as her powerful orgasm ripped through her.

When it was over, she lay back panting, feeling dizzy. Sam crawled up and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. His aching member throbbed as he sought friction. He rubbed against her seeking his own release. "Dean. Baby..." He panted. Suddenly, he moaned loudly as he came hard against her stomach.

After he recovered, he fell beside her and gathered Dean in his arms. She snuggled against him and lay on his chest. He barely heard her whisper, "Thank you."

He kissed the top of her head. "For what?" Dean did not answer for a time. Suddenly he felt wetness against his chest.

"For making me believe that I can be whole again one day." She paused. "I love you, Sammy."

"I love you too." He answered. They held each other until they fell asleep.

TBC... ONE CHAPTER TO GO!