Chapter 52
Let Her Go
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Cameron's Future Timeline:
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Future John still tried to process all that happened in the last few minutes. He'd gone all the way from 'losing' Cameron forever to almost ending his life. Now look where he was. Cameron gave him back his life and she gave him back Allison. He turned to go after Cameron. He wanted to know how all this was possible and what happened to her after she left. He wanted to know how things turned out in the past.
Future John pulled away from Future Allison to try to stop Cameron. He needed to get her back.
Future Allison grabbed Future John's arm when she saw he was going to go after Cameron. Cameron told her this would happen and she was ready to stop him. It was the only thing Cameron ever asked of her.
Future John tried to pull away. He was almost frantic. His love for Cameron drew him away. Future John wanted Cameron. Future John needed Cameron. He struggled to break free of Future Allison.
"STOP!" Future Allison said sternly.
Future John still struggled some.
"I have to go after her." Future John said.
Future Allison knew Cameron needed to leave on her terms.
"Let her go!" Future Allison pleaded. "Cameron needs to have free choice in this matter."
Future John looked in the direction where Cameron left.
"I need to get her, Allison." Future John said. "I need to."
Future Allison held Future John tightly. The struggle slowed.
"Give her the dignity to leave on her own accord by her own choice." Future Allison said. "This is her choice. Please STOP. She did this for YOU. John she did this for US."
Future Allison held him firmly. She was not going to let go. The struggle stopped.
"You don't need her, that's what I am for." Future Allison said.
Future John relaxed. His body seemed to slump in defeat. Allison was back and he needed to appreciate what Cameron somehow did for him. Instead of focusing on what was gone he needed to focus on what was here. That was a miracle in itself. He thought she was dead. She was clearly alive and here.
"Allison, I am so happy you are back." Future John said.
Future Allison could see how torn Future John was. She already knew the answer before she asked the question. Maybe she just needed to hear it.
"Do you love her?" Future Allison asked.
Future John did not even need to think about it.
"Yes!" Future John said.
Future Allison wondered where that left her.
"Do you love her more than me?" Future Allison asked.
Future John paused as he hung his head slightly. He did not answer.
Future Allison was aware some of Cameron's files were deleted.
"Did you make love to her?" Future Allison asked.
Future John looked nervous.
"No." Future John said too quickly.
"Did you have sex with her?" Future Allison asked.
Now Future John looked guilty.
"No." Future John said even quicker.
Future Allison was not sure if she believed him. It did not look like he was going to 'come clean'. Cameron told her that he could have erased those files before he sent her away so she did not know for sure.
Future Allison almost asked Future John if he wanted to be with Cameron but she already knew the answer to that one. She wanted the same thing herself. It be around Cameron all the time made one love her and want to share with her. She was simply like no other.
"She is a remarkable individual, John. I have never met another like her, either human or Metal." Future Allison said. "I can honestly say that."
Future John still looked guilty.
Future Allison smiled at Future John. She did not want him on the defensive. Not right now anyway.
"I love her too, John." Future Allison said. "I am not ashamed of that. I love her the same as I love you and Savannah. She has returned me to you and Savannah. I would go with her if she would take me in an instant. I would not think twice or ever look back. I love Cameron."
Future John looked into Future Allison's eyes. He did not want to lose her again.
"Please stay." Future John said. "I'm still trying to process all of this."
Future Allison could understand that. She felt she was too and she been with Cameron for months.
"She gave up her life and her future to come back and save me, John." Future Allison said. "She gave up everything for you and for me. She gave it all up for US."
Future John was at a loss to understand all this.
"Why?" Future John asked.
Future Allison smiled faintly.
"She did it because she loves you." Future Allison said.
Future Allison became emotional as she tried to explain.
"She gave up everything to allow me to live. She wanted you to have a future. She said without her in your life that you would kill yourself." Future Allison said. "I think she was right."
It was clear to Future John that Cameron knew. She KNEW. How could she KNOW? She must have truly loved me, Future John thought. He was even sorrier now that he'd sent her away.
"She wants us to have a future together, John, you and Savannah and me. That is if you will allow Savannah back into our lives." Future Allison said. "Cameron wants Savannah back with me. She wants her back with us. I want Savannah back."
Future John figured he better get that in motion right away. He was very aware that Future Savannah and Future Allison loved each other more than either one of them loved him. They would be happy to be a pair again without him. He needed to change some to keep them. Cameron opened that door for him. It was right in front of him.
Future Allison looked into Future John's eyes.
"She told me she could no longer exist knowing that she'd terminated your children before they could be born." Future Allison said. "Can't you see how she must have 'hurt' herself to do all this for us? It hurts me deeply just to think about it and I am the one who benefits the most from all this. I get to live. I get my life back. We all get each other again. Cameron told me right before she left to bring you back that: 'All is, as it was'."
Future John held Future Allison tighter.
He was really at a loss for words with all of this. It all seemed like it was his fault somehow.
"We can go on, John. We have a future. We can have a family and children of our own along with Savannah. All three of us can be together again John and all our children." Future Allison said.
Future John wanted a family sometimes. He could see it was a real possibility now.
"I want that, Allison." Future John said.
"So do I, John." Future Allison said.
Future John thought for a few moments. Future Allison just laid out a bunch of information for him. They started to sink into his mind.
"What do you mean she gave up her future?" Future John asked.
Cameron told her of all the changes the Resistance made in the past and that Skynet made changes too.
"She can not get back to her timeline." Future Allison said. "She can not get back to the past, to her past, to her life."
That did not make sense to Future John. It seemed pretty straight forward. He'd just sent Cameron into the past a little over an hour ago.
"Why not?" Future John asked.
Future Allison did not know tech stuff very well. Cameron did lay it out for her.
"There is more than one timeline. There are different futures and pasts now. Everything we do or they do in the past changes things." Future Allison said.
Future John could see the underlying issue.
"She sacrificed everything for me, Allison?" Future John asked.
They both knew that sacrifice was the true test of love.
"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." Future Allison said.
Future Allison looked at Future John. She wanted to make this as clear as possible.
"We have been together for months. I am in the best health I have been in for years. She took care of me like a mother. She taught me so many things. She made these clothes for me by hand. She made me look this pretty, just for you. She did everything for you, John. She did it for you and for me, for US." Future Allison said. "LOOK at what she has done. THAT is love."
Future John and Future Allison sobbed in each others arms.
He felt the need to try and do more for Cameron. He at least needed to do something to help her. There had to be something they could do.
"Is there any way we can help her?" Future John asked. "I need to try to help her. We need to help her."
Future Allison was aware of Cameron's plan and how it would play out.
"No. She said she will search throughout time to get back to where she now belongs until her power cell runs out or she is terminated." Future Allison said.
"That almost sounds romantic, even if it's in a strange way." Future John said.
Future Allison wanted to show Future John everything. She also wanted to keep him where he was to buy time for Cameron to 'escape'. Future John could disrupt her plans if he tried.
"Look at all the things she made for me. She would go out when I was asleep and get food, provisions and materials. She stockpiled things in the past to have available for me." Future Allison said. "She always found clean water for me to drink and clean myself with. Sometimes we would help each other wash. She said, 'Sometimes it's nice to have help'."
Future John was saddened by everything he heard and had done.
"Can we go back to our bunker now?" Future John asked. "I want to go 'home'."
Future Allison felt she'd given Cameron the time she asked for to 'escape'.
"She only wanted time to leave in peace with dignity." Future Allison said. "I ask that you honor that. I never ask for much. I do ask for that."
Future John looked at the door again and nodded.
"OK." Future John said.
There were so many feelings that Future Allison felt.
"John, she taught me about so many things. She taught so much. She gave me back the feeling of honor and self worth I'd lost. She showed me how to make my drawings better and paint. She showed me how to express myself through poems. Here look, she recreated her poem book for me." Future Allison said. "It is her thoughts and feelings, John. It is a look into her very mind."
Future Allison took the book out.
MY POEMS
(Art Of The Mind)
By
NOBODY
Future John took the book and held it. He gently touched it as if were Cameron herself. Maybe this was all that was left of her now.
"Why does it say, 'By Nobody'?" Future John asked.
That was the very question she'd asked Cameron.
"She said it was because of the way everyone MADE her feel and the way she was treated." Future Allison said.
Future John read a few of Cameron's poems. Pain stabbed his heart. He felt guilty.
"Was she referring to me?" Future John asked very worried.
She knew the answer to that question somewhat.
"Yes and no." Future Allison said.
Future John read some more. It was amazing how much Cameron had evolved. He really worried about how much Cameron remembered about her 'past' with him and what they'd experienced together. If he was not responsible for all this anguish and pain who was? Maybe there was something he could do about that. Nobody deserved to feel this way.
"Who did this to her?" Future John asked. "I can see and understand what you meant that his is a record of her mind, her feelings and emotions, her deepest sadness and sorrow."
"John, she gave up her life and her husband for us." Future Allison said. "She gave up EVERYTHING."
Future John tried to process those last few words. It was about the last thing he'd ever expected to hear regarding Cameron. He needed to clarify this and make sure he'd heard her correctly.
"Her husband?" Future John asked in shock. "Cameron is - married?"
"Yes." Future Allison said.
A strong sense of anger and jealousy flooded Future John.
"Is he the bastard that made her feel like this?" Future John asked.
"Yes." Future Allison said.
Future John would like to beat some sense into him before he killed him.
"Who is the bastard?" Future John asked.
Future Allison was not sure how this was going to go over based on his reactions so far.
"YOU are. Cameron is married to you, John." Future Allison said. "In the past you are her husband."
Let Them Go
When do you hang on
When do you let go
How it will all end
There is no way to know
Is what you think you have
Really what is there
Or is the only hold on them
Something one need beware
You can reach out and grab
But what is it you actually grasp
To hold too tight is to smother
If the other can only gasp
Two will not always be one
Some things are not meant to be
You already know the ending
Yet refuse to understand or see
Sacrifice is the true test of love
Honor and dignity you can bestow
Sometimes when you love someone
You need to let them go
Nobody