Chapter 57

Her Turn

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Resistance Base - Current Timeline:

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Everyone returned Cameron's belongings, except Savannah. She asked to keep Cameron's wedding dress in her closet. She said she wanted to return it to Cameron herself when she came back. No one else was about to keep or use anything of hers.

For any of them to use anything of Cameron's would be to acknowledge she was not coming back. Even the Terminators would not do it. Vanna and Allison both knew they would not be having any of John's children anytime soon. Everyone was in a state of mourning. Even the Terminators were sluggish and easily distracted. The instructions Cameron left them not to mourn her were impossible to follow. That seemed to be all that they did.

Savannah told all of them that Cameron was going to come back. They all wanted her to come back. It seemed only Savannah possessed the unshakeable faith that Cameron would return. Savannah's faith in Cameron was very strong. She really believed Cameron would return. Savannah's faith in Cameron NEVER wavered. Everyone wanted to tell Savannah that Cameron was never going to come back or she would have already. They all lacked the courage to do that. No one wanted to dash the hopes and dreams of a young lady.

John wanted to withdraw as could be expected but everyone made sure he did not feel alone. Sarah and Kyle were always around him. Vanna and Allison and even Savannah interacted with him and asked for his help here and there. Everyone wanted to let John know they were there for him. They also wanted him to know the depth of their loss as well. Everyone made it clear that they loved and missed Cameron too. It hurt ALL of them, not just him. All of the Terminators as well were there for him.

When John was at his lowest and pushed them all away. Savannah would come to him and remind him Cameron was coming back. John could never get angry at Savannah like he did with the others. John could see Savannah really believed that. Maybe it was that faith Savannah shared with him that kept him going. There was always a bright smiling face to bring him back from the depths of hopelessness. He did not know the dreams and promises behind that sincere smiling face.

Savannah was worried that Cameron hadn't come back. She knew what her duty and promises were. Cameron had gone over them with her repeatedly. She kept the wedding dress not to give it back to Cameron herself. She kept the wedding dress because she promised to wear it for John when she was older. That was a promise she intended to keep. She stayed close to John and helped him cope. They could draw on each others strength. It bothered her some that the others did not believe Cameron would come back. She knew Cameron would come back. Cameron promised her she would never leave her, just as she promised Cameron she would never leave John.

The one thing Savannah missed the most were the 'voices' at night as she slept. They'd been very comforting to her and helped her cope with the loss of her family and with her education. She always seemed to know what she studied the day before forwards and backwards when she woke up. Her education level far exceeded her years or what they would be in a regular school. She was under the protection of the Resistance now. There was no 'regular' anything anymore. Life at the base was the new 'normal'.

John was in the lab with Vanna. He went to help out to try and take his mind off of everything. The more he stayed busy the less he thought about the other things. To be around Terminators make him think of Cameron. He sought the company of other humans.

The subject still came up. It always did as they all tried to deal with it.

Vanna was troubled like everyone else, maybe even more so. Her love for Cameron was genuine and as strong or stronger than anyone else's.

"John, I want you to know I love Cameron too. She was the most special person I ever knew, ah – know." Vanna said. "I love Cameron the same as you do, John. Do you understand me? I LOVE CAMERON."

John knew but now he understood. Vanna felt what he felt. He knew Vanna's feelings to Cameron leaving and about her reaction to the termination of the hard drives. That was what it was; Cameron terminated 'herself' when she crushed them.

"I heard of your devastation at the destruction of the final 'Cameron server'." John said. "I am sorry for your loss."

To hear those words made Vanna relive the event. It was only slightly less traumatic now. Time would continue to dull the pain.

"That was 'MY Cameron'." Vanna said. "It never mattered to me that she was a machine or a computer program, ever."

John could see how the memories affected Vanna.

"I understand, Vanna." John said.

Vanna promised Cameron she would erase the server if she never returned. It was soon evident that Vanna never would. She would rather die first before she ever did that.

"We would have been able to get an almost complete 'Cameron' off of that server. The files were only partially deleted. They were not copied over or erased." Vanna said. "She knew I refused to erase them. She knew I would never erase her. I could never 'kill' her."

John wondered if Vanna loved Cameron even more than he did.

"I know, Vanna." John said.

There were tears in Vanna's eyes.

"Why, John?" Vanna asked. "Why?"

John could only shake his head slightly.

"I can not fully understand any of this myself." John said.

It was still mind boggling to John.

Vanna pondered some solutions.

"Can we go into 'a future' or 'a past' and get 'Cameron'?" Vanna asked. "Get 'a Cameron'?"

John did not want to create more divergent timelines.

"What damage would we do to the timelines with that?" John asked.

Vanna was out of her timeline. They could get 'a Cameron' too.

"I don't care, John." Vanna said. "I want Cameron back, OUR Cameron."

Allison came into the room. She seemed very animated and driven about something.

"John, I want to go into the future with you. I want to go back to my future. We can find Mrs. Weaver and use my DNA to make another 'Cameron'. They can use any of my memories or all of them if they want." Allison said. "I will sacrifice anything for Cameron."

John wondered where 'Cameron's program' was in that scenario. That was the 'real' Cameron.

"That would only be a Cyborg 'You', Allison." John said.

Vanna pondered THAT idea. If she wasn't so sad right now she would think that was Hot.

Allison saw it a little more involved than that John thought

"NO. What if someone went back to when you made the copy of Cameron's original chip?" Allison asked. "THAT would be 'Cameron'."

John tried to think how that idea would play out. It seemed if they did it right they might be able to pull it off. He could even save the original chip at that point and use it to 're-body' Cameron with a new chassis and sheath based on Allison's DNA.

"IF I went back, we went back and then someone else who was not already there went back further when I made the copy…." John wondered.

Vanna was out of her original timeline at that point. This was her chance to prove her love for Cameron. She would take her chances with Skynet, Grays and Scavengers to help Cameron. Sacrifice was the true test of love. She was willing to sacrifice her body and her life to help Cameron.

"I'll do it." Vanna nearly shouted. "I'll go."

Allison shot her a fiery look. It quickly softened. What Vanna and Cameron 'shared' was no different than what John and her 'shared'. In fact it was almost ironic. Allison could not help but feel the grief for Vanna holding the crushed hard drives. Then they heard the song, 'Seasons In The Sun'. The scene and song still echoed in her mind. The inadvertent timing was what did it. It still sent chills down her spine. She felt it right now again.

John tried to play the scenario through in his mind.

"I will run this by John Henry. THAT Cameron chip would then need to go into that future with Vanna to where we were then and come back with the four of us to this time." John said.

Allison was all onboard with that idea until she thought about it a little more. She remembered what Savannah always said. Savannah said Cameron would return because Cameron was invincible and that Cameron was eternal.

"What happens if we do that and you get married again to 'THAT Cameron' and then 'OUR Cameron' comes back?" Allison wondered. "Then what will happen?"

Vanna instantly remembered Cameron's poems about being 'replaced'.

"I don't think Cameron would be too happy to find you in bed with her 'replacement'." Vanna said. "It would not be the 'replacement' she chose."

They all knew Cameron already chose her 'replacements'. Her 'replacements' were Vanna and Allison.

Vanna thought if that happened there would be a 'Cameron' for her then. It really could be her own 'Cameron'. She would do anything to have her own Cameron; she would call her – Cam.

John went over what was already in play.

"Allison, Vanna, she has already 'replaced' herself with you two. I think we all understand that. That is a choice Cameron orchestrated and made on her own. I would rather live with that decision, than replace Cameron with Cameron II and have her show back up. That was not HER choice." John said. "I don't want to do something she hadn't already 'approved'."

"She did not want two Camerons in any form. That is why she terminated the hard drives. She made me promise before to destroy them myself." Vanna said.

Allison already knew that Vanna never would. She wanted to hear what she would say.

"Would you have?" Allison asked.

The tears began to flow from Vanna's eyes. She tried to hold it together.

"No. I would have needed to ask someone else to do it. I would rather have died than destroy them myself. I could never have done it. I would have honored her wish for HER eventually with help." Vanna said as she cried.

Allison knew Vanna still loved Cameron. Allison knew Vanna would always love Cameron.

The three of them embraced. The grief hurt all of them deeply. They all felt the same pain.

"So what do we do?" Allison asked.

John thought about what Cameron wanted. It was the same reason they could not go back and stop her from going on 'her mission'. It was something she needed to do to continue to exist, even if it caused her not to exist anymore.

"It looks like if we are to honor what Cameron wanted that we do NOTHING and let it play out." John said.

That was 'not good enough' for Vanna, she wanted to do more. She could use her 'Metal friends'. They would do as she programmed them. In that instant she felt like her 'mother', Mrs. Weaver. She was surprised at how little THAT actually bothered her. Besides, even if she was lost in time Savannah would grow and be 'available' for John in the future. After all, Cameron did give SAVANNAH her wedding dress. Cameron indicated to her that when Savannah was 'old enough' to 'make it happen' for John and Savannah if she was terminated.

Vanna looked at Allison. What was she going to do? How can any of this ever be fixed? No one would ever know if Cameron was able to save 'Cameron's Allison' in Cameron's future. What is the point of all this sacrifice and loss? No really, what is the point? Vanna needed more than there was right now to deal with all this. She needed John. John would understand her 'need'. They both felt the same way about Cameron. Allison would not. Allison had HER chance. Now it was her TURN.

Haunted

My soul is possessed
I am forever haunted
Unending pain, torment and hurt
Yet I worship and cling undaunted

I do not think you understand
I doubt you really care
Why I do what I do
Why I take the risk to share

I say what I mean
I mean what I say
Has not my devotion
Made this as clear as day

Everyday I am in peril
Each second a gamble
Everything in my life a chance
A moment away from a shamble

I gain not a thing
Nothing have I ever took
Yet I am depicted as being bad
Like a liar, thief or crook

I have never abandoned you
I have ALWAYS been there for you still
I will never go bad again
I PROMISE you I never will

You are my true love
My sweet loving confidant
Through agony, torment and hurt
My heart, soul and mind you haunt

Nobody