A/N: Hey everyone, sorry I'm late by a week! Life is still pretty busy, so thank you for sticking with me.

Would love to hear what you think so far in the reviews! All feedback is welcomed.

Caitlyn went for a walk outside with Ellie, her best friend from nursing school who worked in the Mercy ER. Ellie had stuck by Caitlyn through her ups and downs in college, even though they were total opposites in a lot of ways. Ellie was more of a straight talker and assertive in her personal life, albeit she didn't offend or confront Caitlyn too much. Just tried to make her think. However, she always tried to understand Caitlyn and was a solid part of her support system.

"How are you doing with M-Day coming up?" Ellie asked. She knew Caitlyn struggled every Mother's Day, knowing her relationship with her mother was anything but Hallmark-worthy.

"I'm surviving, I guess," Caitlyn replied. "I told Lori I could work overnight Saturday into Sunday and maybe stay on for the morning if too many other nurses have plans and we don't have staffing. I just hate going into stores and seeing all the displays of inspirational cards and flowers and hearing about brunch reservations and...it pains me. It's a reminder that it's yet another year I won't have it with my mother and can't bring myself to appreciate her."

"And besides, it's not like there are greeting cards that understand me." She couldn't help but laugh. "Like I have yet to see a card that says oh Happy Mother's Day Mom; glad you're still sober. Or, Happy Mother's Day; glad we got along approximately three times this year. Happy Mother's Day; thanks for being half a mother as opposed to a quarter of the one you were since I was 12."

"Bitter and cynical Mother's Day cards? Hey, Cait, we could go into business." Ellie trailed off quickly, though, once she noticed Caitlyn didn't laugh much.

"What's wrong, buddy?"

Caitlyn sighed as she stared into the distance. "Why can't things just be normal? Why does my life have to be like this? You're taking your mom out for lunch for Mother's Day. You're getting her a card and a present. You didn't grow up like I did. I'm not saying I'm angry at you for having a good relationship with your mom. My problems aren't your fault. But why can't this just stop? I get in a damn cycle every year on Mother's Day and around other holidays. I just...wish everything were OK again." She put her head down and looked at the sidewalk.

"Oh honey, this is what friends are for." Ellie wrapped an arm on Caitlyn's shoulder.

"But can I try to get you to think about something?" She looked at Caitlyn for approval and got a nod, so she started to talk.

"Caitlyn, I don't really think this is the kind of thing you can just wish would magically get better. I can understand why you thought that when we were in school, or-even though I didn't know you then-when you were a younger teenager. But, this isn't the case anymore. We're adults now. Sometimes life is scary and messy, and we have to do things that make us uncomfortable. If you want a relationship with your mother, I will totally support you as you work everything out. And if you don't...like if you look at me right this minute and say I'm never talking to my mother again...I'll support you then too because I'm your best friend. But maybe it's time to channel your energy differently."

"Watch the direction you're taking this in," Caitlyn warned Ellie as she picked up her pace. "I don't want to hear anything about amends or character defects or any of that. It's not my problem to address them. That's her job and you know it."

"Whoa," Ellie put her hands up. "You're right. I can see how you think I'm attacking you. But please hear me out, OK? I can catch up to you. I'm a runner, remember?"

Caitlyn slowed back down. She had to remember that she and Ellie were both still in their 20s, and sometimes Ellie's best intentions didn't come out perfectly. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's cool. Nowhere am I telling you to apologize to your mom. You have nothing to apologize for. It's just that...look, she's a person too. She has autonomy and feelings, and her being an alcoholic doesn't make her any lesser. I guess seeing so many addicts come through the ER has shaped my opinion, so I apologize if I'm dismissive. That said, she's not a mind reader, either. Maybe she's waiting on you to make the first move to let her know you're ready to talk. And since you're not doing that, she may have very well figured that you didn't want a stronger relationship. But if you're just expecting her to pick up on the fact that you want to talk to her and sort everything out...well I hate to break it to you but you're going to be waiting for a long time. You have to communicate here too."

"I don't know if there's any hope." Caitlyn was quieter and less guarded now. "I have tried this before, or at least thought about it. There's times when I'll pick up my phone and try to call her, but I never finish the call because I always convince myself she won't want it, or won't return it, or that I'm not brave enough for it. I've written letters I've never sent. A box full of them in the back of my closet. Every time I think I can do this, I just give up. I just say I'll do it later or wait a month or whatever. Well, then a month passes and I put it off again. Then another holiday passes and...well, you get it."

"Besides, there's the matter of the past. If the memories weren't so damn hard to shake it would be easier. I can't stop having flashbacks to it all. They keep me up at night when they're at their worst. At best they hit when we're out at a bar...well the few times I go to a bar. I swear one night when I was sleeping I saw her in my nightmares, drunk and crying and all strung out. I remember waking up in a panic and worrying she was in my room or at least somewhere in the apartment."

"OK, take a deep breath." Ellie stopped walking to let Caitlyn settle down.

"God, that sounds so lousy. I'm really sorry that happened to you, babe. It's totally normal to be upset about the past. But it's also over and done with. It happened. She can't go back in time and undo it. I'd love to go back in time and take back stupid things I said, or retake a test I didn't get a good grade on, but I can't. Same concept. Can you ask her about those times and hold her accountable for a better future? Of course you can. But don't fool yourself into thinking she won't want to hear from you. If her sobriety is worth anything to her and she values you at all-which let's face it, she shows you she does when you let her-she will want to talk to you and make amends and live them out as you guys move forward."

"She's been sober for over 10 years. To me, that is really cool. I can respect that. The odds are against addicts and here she is, fighting them and beating them. I understand why you maybe don't trust her, but again, if you never talk to her, you won't be able to build that trust and understand her journey. We know all about the physical and emotional damages of addiction, but have you ever really taken the time to understand recovery beyond our class time? It's not just not abstaining from substances. It's a long road to find your way in a world that isn't always kind or doesn't understand you, where people think you're a piece of shit or not worthy of being loved. Or that you should never have a good life again. I bet if you actually sat down with your mom and asked her, she's probably felt one or all of those things during her recovery. I'm sure she could even tell you, say, that she's probably encountered people who think she should have lost her whole career. She loves her work. And there are likely people out there who think she should have been stripped of it all."

Caitlyn looked over. "This may sound dumb, but I never thought about things this way. We never sat down and had a conversation about it as adults. Everything was always explained to me in age-appropriate ways when she was in active drinking and first getting sober. And yes I want apologies and answers from her, but maybe I could be kinder. I really do miss her, you know? If she were standing here right now instead of you, that's what I'd tell her."

"See, I'm reaching you!" Ellie smiled, satisfied with her advising skills.

"But let me tell you one more thing," she said as she grew serious. "If this is what you want, you have to come to terms with the disease. You can't just take it out of her. It doesn't work that way. I'm not telling you to accept her disrespecting or abusing you or treating you poorly. You can set boundaries and limits with her. I'm sure your therapist can probably help more than I can with this, but you can't cure her, and you need to decide if you're OK with that."

Caitlyn rested her hand on her chin. "That's where I struggle. It's so hard to swallow sometimes...having an alcoholic mother. Knowing I can't 'fix' it like we help our patients. Knowing why I feel so messed up. But I know what you mean...she probably needs to be loved too."

"No, not probably." Ellie shook her head. "She can't stay sober without her support network either. Just like you needed support in college to help you with your problems. It's just up to you whether you want to stand by her knowing that this is her life. She deserves to be loved and have a better life and have friendships just as much as you do."

A cell phone alarm interrupted Ellie, and both she and Caitlyn reached for their phones, but Ellie confirmed it was hers.

"Sorry, Cait, it's time for me to get back inside. I have to take over triage in five. You coming?"

"Go without me," Caitlyn told her. "I'll call you later." Ellie pulled Caitlyn in for a hug before heading back to the ER.

Caitlyn sat down on a bench outside the Mercy entrance to try and collect herself. She found herself overwhelmed by Ellie's advice. And as much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew her mom had the right to know her feelings. Good, bad, ugly. Something was telling her not to avoid it anymore.

As she was heading back into the hospital, she decided to leave a message for her father. If anyone knew about moving forward after her mom's alcoholism, it was him.

"Dad, it's Caitlyn. I was wondering if you were free for dinner soon. Give me a call and we can work out a time. I want to talk to you about Mom."

Caitlyn's dad Tom was thrilled to have his daughter visit. His photography business would be picking up soon for the wedding season, and with Caitlyn's shift schedule, they didn't see each other as often. But they tried to stay close. As Caitlyn got older she had recognized just how much he had to endure with her temper and depression as a result of having an inconsistent mother figure. For that, she was grateful.

"There's my girl!" Tom smiled at her and wrapped her in a hug as she walked into the house.

"How's Melanie?" Caitlyn asked, referring to a woman Tom had been seeing for the last two months.

"She's great! We have breakfast plans for Saturday before I head off to a photo shoot for the day. We're thinking it's about time to make our relationship steady."

"Dad," Caitlyn giggled. "We say exclusive now."

"Oh right. You kids…." he chuckled. "Now, what do you want to drink? I have seltzer, soda, sparkling water…"

"Oh, seltzer sounds great. You have my favorite flavor, right?"

"Sure do." He poured her a glass of cherry seltzer and handed it to her.

"Thanks."

"So you wanted to talk to me about your mom?" Tom asked.

"Yeah. Dad, I've been thinking...I know you haven't talked to Mom in years. Not really since Drew and I became old enough to make our own decisions about her. But lately I've been trying to re-evaluate my relationship with her and I'm thinking about trying to discuss the past and bring her back into my life. And I was just wondering...how did you forgive her? I know you said you don't hate her anymore but how did you get there? I just feel like I can't do this even though I feel sad when thinking about how much I wish we had a better relationship."

Tom sat back in his chair. "Well it may seem anti-climactic to you but I'm going to try my best. You know me; I'm not a man of many deep thoughts."

"It came when I realized we have no ability to change the past. As much as I would have liked to—or even as you and Drew may have wanted to—I had no way to go back in time. I couldn't say different words or take stronger actions to get her to stop drinking. I'm not sure that would have even helped. One of the biggest things I had to learn was that I couldn't make her get help; she had to ask and take the steps toward recovery. That doesn't mean I feel she bears no responsibility for hurting our family. Far from it. It was more like...I told myself that these horrible things happened. So how do we move forward knowing we can't take that away?"

"Ellie just told me that too," Caitlyn nodded. "It's one of the things I struggle to come to terms with. Was it really that easy for you?"

"Of course not. There were plenty of times I felt angry and disappointed that we were no longer a full family. I fell into the trap a lot of people fall into when their family members go into recovery...that your mom would come back from rehab, start going to her meetings and everything would be OK again. But that's not reality in a lot of cases."

"However, I wanted to look ahead for you and your brother. And we had to do our best. That's why I took as much interest as I could in you and encouraged both of you to find constructive activities and make friends. I tried to be amicable about visitation with your mom when she was able to start letting you guys come over. You guys deserved a chance at being normal children. As you and Drew got older, I believed I did the right thing. If I had stayed stuck on your mother and took that out on you guys you wouldn't have had the childhood you deserved."

"Have you seen her recently?" Tom asked.

"If you count our usual on again, off again thing as me seeing her, then yes," Caitlyn replied. "She got sick a few weeks ago and I went to the hospital to see her and after some initial bickering, I did stay and support her. Then I went back home with her after her discharge and we had dinner. It ended up being a nice time."

"Was everything OK?"

"Yeah. She fainted from stress and dehydration. Lots of tests and monitoring, but even when she found out she had a bruised rib and a concussion, she was trying to find a way to work, because of course…"

"Some things never change," her father laughed.

"I can see the positive changes in a way," she continued. "There was a lot of healthy food in the house. She's clearly religious these days and told me she's at church as time allows. She goes to AA every week. I mean, she still has her medical license so I assume she's holding it together. I just wish I could love her more."

"Well, Caitlyn I haven't seen your mom in some time, so I hesitate to give you too much advice," Tom said. "I will tell you that you have every right to take your pain to your grave. But just remember your mother has an illness. And yes she did many harmful things to her family, her coworkers, and friends. But, there are many, many people out there like her who get caught up in this and have to rebuild. She's hardly unique, and we're not either. This stuff tears families apart. And what you do with that knowledge is up to you. Recognizing that there are so many others who battle addiction—and they work in all kinds of jobs and have varying amounts of money and education—helped me too. It's not just a problem for people who have been so-called 'losers.'"

"Do you still think she's a bad person? I guess that's where I can't reconcile. She's tried but I still got saddled with a mental illness diagnosis. I didn't have a lot of friends in college who wanted to understand me and why I had a hard time going to parties. I still see a therapist and a psychiatrist, although I mostly only try to use the psychiatrist for medication adjustments."

"Unfortunately I don't know if I can answer that for you. Your health is probably best taken up with your health care providers. But do I think she's a bad person? Not so much these days. I see her as someone who made bad choices at a difficult time in her life. And I hope she's become someone different now and is past that period. I try not to exist in black and white and make statements about my horrible ex-wife or say she was a bad mother. Because life isn't always black and white. It has nuances and unwritten rules and curveballs. If life were linear, every addict would be isolated forever and not have support networks even once they commit to recovery. Their families would all hate them. But that's not the case."

"When I attended Al-Anon, I understood that nuance better," he continued. "The people in my group had a varying range of relationships with the alcoholics in their lives. Some had cut contact. There were other divorcees there that I'm still friends with today, even as some of them have remarried. I remember a woman who separated from her husband, but they eventually reconciled and are still going strong last I knew. I met adult children who were struggling with how to interact with their alcoholic parents, just like you are now. Personally, I always want to be learning and growing. If everyone in my group had stopped talking to their qualifiers-a term for the person who brought us to Al-Anon-I would've gotten nothing out of it after a while. But instead I realized this is a tough situation and there's no textbook answer for how to handle it."

"And sometimes, dear, you can make clearer decisions when the pain isn't so fresh. Besides, if I were still sitting here constantly rehashing what happened when your mom was drunk, staying angry and not moving on with my life, I would have never met Melanie because I wouldn't have room for her. I wouldn't have been a good father to you and Drew. All I can do now is hope your mom has gotten on track and be grateful she stuck to the custody and support agreements."

"How's things with your new therapist?"

"She's great so far. We just talk about how I cope with the past and she works with me on thinking constructively, but she doesn't push me to do things I'm not ready for either."

"Maybe you should see her," Tom suggested. "I would at least talk to a professional before jumping into really fixing this. You may only get one shot. And I'm happy to have you here any time you want to talk. But please don't stop your counseling. Maybe you should try Al-Anon too. It was a life-saver for me."

"OK Dad," Caitlyn nodded in agreement. "I'll give her a call tomorrow before work and see if she can change my appointment. I'm on the overnight rotation again for a while."

"You adjust to that well?"

"It's a challenge sleeping at 8:00 sometimes to get ready for work," she answered. "But honestly when the kids on the unit are quiet and doing well it's not too bad. Sometimes I have to help calm a child who has a nightmare or is scared of being in the hospital so they can't sleep. I love helping the kids. They need me and my coworkers. It means a lot to be there for them."

"How about you? Ready for more 10-hour workdays and frazzled brides and pushy mothers?"

Tom laughed. "My job is nowhere near as intense as yours. But dealing with the mother of the bride sure has its challenges. I hired a couple of assistants recently so I'm excited to have second shooters for the upcoming season."

"Dad I'm just really glad you're happy," Caitlyn said as Tom pulled the chicken out of the oven. "I was afraid you'd never want another relationship. But this Melanie sounds great."

"If we become serious I'll let you meet her. No doubt."

"I want you to be happy too," he told her. "You can do this. You've been through so much. I know you can handle this, no matter how I feel about your mother."

A week later, Caitlyn returned to Kathleen's office. She had asked if her next appointment could be moved up, and Kathleen had given her a session two days before she was supposed to come in.

"Good to see you, Caitlyn," Kathleen said as she sat down in her rocking chair. "Are you feeling OK today?"

"I'm a little tired from the night shift." Caitlyn had arranged to come in the early afternoon, so she could sleep after work, but she had had trouble doing so.

"No problem. I'll go easy on you," she replied with a smile, "Did you have a good shift?"

"It was good, yeah. The overnight just always takes time to get used to, but I wouldn't want to be doing anything else."

"I'm glad to hear you enjoy your job. So, what's been going on since we last spoke?"

"It's my mom. Mother's Day is coming soon and I always struggle with feelings of sadness when I see all the celebrations and displays in stores. So, usually I ignore the day. But lately, I've also been wanting my mother back in my life and want to talk to her. I talked to my best friend a while ago and she said some things about how I need to communicate too and I can't just place all the burden on my mom, but I don't know how to feel about that. I can see why my friend says my mom isn't a mind reader, but I also know that she's the one who has to make amends."

Kathleen nodded. "So what was your reaction to your friend's advice?"

"At first I argued with her," Caitlyn replied. "I tried to get away from her and say I didn't want to hear about amends and such or feel like that burden is on me. She explained that I have nothing to apologize for, but that I may be waiting forever if I'm waiting on Mom to contact me to fix things. I love my friend, but she is really blunt. She even said it seems like I never tried to understand recovery because I'm so fixated on what happened when she was drinking when in reality, she has a story too and I need to hear it."

"Then, when I saw my dad last week, he sort of echoed my friend but in a less straightforward manner. Like she did, he talked to me about moving on from the past and how he and I can't change it and neither can she. I can understand why they say that, but it really stands in the way of moving on and trying to have a relationship with her."

"Sounds like we need to talk about how we can form that relationship in a safe and healthy manner?" Kathleen asked. "Do you want to start to explore that today? We're not going to solve it all in one day, but we can work on it in as many sessions as you need."

"Yes. I just don't know what to expect going into this. I was at her condo a few weeks ago. I can see some evidence of how she's changed. I guess I just need more time to believe it."

Kathleen leaned forward. "And that is perfectly normal. You've spent years feeling like you two don't know each other and there's a lot of trust to be re-built when a family member is in recovery. So I'll start with this piece of advice: Keep your expectations low initially. Don't expect your Hollywood happy ending the first time you go to see her. Life isn't a movie, much as we want it to be. If you set yourself up for Hollywood or nothing, you will only come away disappointed. Only you can decide what kind of pace you will move at, but I really encourage a small first step."

"I can also tell you that in all the years I've been practicing, that steps eight and nine are often the hardest for the alcoholic and their families. Addicts often feel a lot of shame when they hit those steps. They may also dread it. They feel guilty about all the people they've hurt and they have to decide if they need to make full or partial amends, if they just do living amends, or if the person they're trying to reach is going to be too harmed by their contact and they have to let go and try to be a better person."

"My dad told me that he thought maybe when my mom came home the first time that everything would fall into place," Caitlyn added. "That all it takes is her being home and not drinking and going to meetings, and the family is reunited. He was shocked to learn it wasn't like that."

"Yes. That can also be very common. Do you find that you feel that way when you think about your mom?"

"Yeah, definitely. She made the time to come to my big occasions, and some smaller events. She kept up well with the custody schedule for the most part and my dad said she always paid child support on time. But I have felt similar to how he did. I've always kind of thought that all it took for things to get better was me reaching a specific age, like when I turned 18, or hitting a milestone like graduating college. And even though she was proud of me and happy to see me, I always thought it was falling short of what I wanted and I thought well maybe it's just not meant to be. I just don't know if I can go on thinking that much longer."

"I wanted to write her a letter to reach out to her. Do you think that's a good idea?"

"I think a letter could be very helpful." Kathleen said with a smile. "That way she receives it, she has time to read it and process your feelings, and she can also decide what to do next. If she's worked her steps over the years she knows how hard it can feel to right her wrongs. She'll need the time to decide how to respond to you, whether that's writing back to you or calling. Make sure you give her a fair amount of time. Your friend is right; she has a voice and things to say. She may experience a lot of emotions when she gets that letter and she needs to be able to sort them out before she talks to you."

"That's reasonable," Caitlyn answered.

She paused. "I have tried that before. I've never been able to actually send it." She started to trail off again. "I have this box at home. Years of letters she never got. I keep telling myself I'll send them. I don't know but...how can I make sure this time will be different? I don't know, maybe I'm not resilient enough. Maybe I'm weak too. Sometimes it feels like too much." She couldn't help but cry.

Kathleen handed her a box of tissues. "You aren't weak. This is a very big step. You're just hesitant and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't panic. You don't have homework or a deadline. You can do this whenever you're ready, and if you're not, we can step back at any time and talk about your concerns."

"Actually, this is a very brave thing you're doing. Not everyone wants to reconnect with someone who has hurt them. While of course that is OK too, deciding that you want to take the first step does take courage. It can be hard to face your past and talk to someone who's harmed you and you're doing it. You should be proud of yourself."

"I feel like everyone else gets it more than I do." Caitlyn said, grabbing more tissues.

"Can you clarify what you mean by that?"

"My dad was able to move on and forgive. My friend keeps trying to tell me I'm choosing not to understand my mom, and maybe she's right and I am ignorant. My brother...well he just kind of disconnected from the family. And as much as I hate to say this, I give my mom credit too. She took the step to ask for help and get sober and stay there. She takes care of herself. She even gets it. I don't."

"It's not about whether you get it," Kathleen told her. "It's not about how everyone else is smarter than you or better or stronger. It's about how everyone deals with these kinds of issues differently. Your father chose to find a way forward and not dwell on a failed marriage. Your brother you said isn't around. Your friend thinks if she were in a similar situation, she'd be honest with herself, even if it seems harsh to others, and look for a viewpoint she never considered before."

"And here's how I think this time will be different: You're here in my office talking about this with me. You want to know how to protect yourself. You're not just wishing for it. When you're asking for help, that means you've made the commitment to making a change. That's how this letter is different from the other ones you wrote and never sent."

Kathleen reached over for a folder. "Caitlyn, when was the last time you were at an Al-Anon meeting? Or were you never at one?"

Caitlyn felt a little embarrassed at the question. This wasn't something she had kept up on.

"My dad talked to me about Alateen and took me to a meeting when I was 15, I think," she replied. "I stayed in it until I graduated high school. But I never really tried Al-Anon. Maybe once or twice when I still lived in Naperville. But not since. I guess I wasn't ready. He really got a lot out of Al-Anon when he was in it and I think he wishes I'd go."

"OK. I know you may think I'm lecturing you, but I'm just asking. There's no need to be ashamed for not going. But I do think it's something you should look into. You can meet other people who have the same struggles you've had dealing with a loved one's alcoholism, just like your mom attends AA to share her journey and support other alcoholics. They discuss a different topic every week and you can either share or just sit and listen. There's never any pressure to speak and there's no charge."

"This folder has a list of meeting days and times, as well as some other pamphlets about the program. Read it over and see if there's a meeting you can get to, and I'll try to answer any questions you have. I lead a meeting on Monday evenings, but just like alcoholics may need to try a variety of AA meetings to find their home group, I encourage you to do the same."

"Do you remember anything else about the times you tried Al-Anon and Alateen?"

Caitlyn tried to remember but nothing was coming back to her. "I remember being relieved when I was a teenager that other kids were like me and I wasn't the only one who didn't have a fairy tale family. But Al-Anon I had a hard time with. Maybe because I was at a time where I didn't really want anything to do with Mom. Plus I tend to shut down when conversations get difficult."

"That's why I think you should try a meeting," Kathleen said. "I know it sounds contradictory to talk when you say you shut down, but if you find a group that won't make you feel like you have to speak, you'll find it easier to open up when you're ready. That's much different than feeling under pressure when speaking to your mom in person, or when a friend is asking you questions."

"Do they have sponsors and that kind of thing too?" Caitlyn asked.

Kathleen nodded. "Yes. Once you find a meeting you're comfortable with, you can consider finding a sponsor. You could either ask someone on your own who you feel like you could click with, or maybe someone else would offer to sponsor you. A sponsor isn't a requirement, but they're very beneficial in that you'll find someone who will share their experiences with you and show you how they live the principles every day. You will go through the steps just like your mother; you'll just do it from a different perspective than hers. Al-Anon is about helping yourself have a good life and find contentment no matter what yours and your mom's relationship is like, not letting alcohol dictate it."

"They do say alcoholism is a family disease," Caitlyn remembered. "I've known for years how hurt I was because of my mother, but hearing all this from another perspective really drives the point home. I always thought it was only my mom who had to work on herself and I was absolved, but I'm learning way differently already. I have work to do too, even if I'm not a drinker."

Back in her apartment and trying to sleep again, Caitlyn texted Ellie.

You were right. I was wrong. I need to see Mom's side of the story and her life in the last 13 years. That doesn't mean I think she is completely in the right. It doesn't mean she needs to be my best friend. But I need to come to terms with this and decide if we can heal together.

When her phone buzzed about an hour later, she kind of smiled at Ellie's reply.

See? What would you do without me? I'm always right, Cait. LOL. Now are you having a pre-night shift burger with me tonight or what?

Yes, Caitlyn answered. I have something important to do before then, though.

She stared over at her nightstand and saw her journal. She'd try and sleep later. She knew what she had to do.

Dear Mom…