Wow. Just...wow...the response to the last chapter was so amazing. 14 reviews! For one chapter! I was so worried about putting this fic up because I wasn't sure about it...I needn't have worried! LOL. Anyway...I hope you like this chapter and, as some predicted, it is in the Doctor's POV and it is quite sad as well. But to find out more, you must read on! That may be the most obvious thing I've ever said. Okay, please read and review, like I said, I was worried soooo much about it. P.S. sorry for the delay!

All or Nothing

He knew what he'd been doing to her. Snapping at her. Avoiding her like the plague. He couldn't keep her anymore. Selfishness had overcome him once and now he saw that clear as day on her face. She'd grown to know him too well and that scared the living daylights out of him. The Doctor knew he loved her but he had to let Rose go. He hadn't really noticed it to begin with. Subtle silences here and there. Hugging her less and less then stopping altogether. The last time she'd held out her hand for him, he hadn't taken it, knowing that she was just doing it for him, to comfort him in his grief.

Reinette. Had he loved her? The obvious answer was yes but…to him it just wasn't that simple anymore. He'd loved her for a while, but it had died. She had died. He wouldn't know what he would've done if he had got back to her on time, of what it would have done to Rose's self esteem. He felt sickened by the fact that he was glad he went forward too far. He didn't think he could bear to lose Rose like that, over something so biting as a replacement when she was still with him. No. He couldn't do that to her. So the Doctor had put everything away again, far from Rose's reach. Even after Mickey left, he didn't comfort her when before he would've held her tighter than anything and told her it was okay, that it was not her fault, that she was a good person. He would've cracked some god-awful joke and kissed her hair as she cried into his shoulder.

He wasn't sleeping really, he supposed. Dozing, did humans call it? He was somewhere in between asleep and awake, between dreaming and thinking. Was he dreaming or was that Rose's voice he could hear singing a mournful tune? He decided he didn't care much and wondered where he had gone wrong, where had he turned into someone so full of spite? Someone who hadn't got any mercy anymore. He knew he'd been pushing her away, keeping his distance from her. She'd realise soon enough what kind of person he was, what he had done. He couldn't hide it from her any longer. Rose would hate him if he showed her what he'd done to his own people. This was the life he was supposed to lead. Alone.

It was then that he heard it. He felt time rush past them from where they'd been drifting in the vortex. The TARDIS was moving! No-one could operate the TARDIS but him so why on Gallifrey was the old girl in motion? He pulled himself out of his half slumber, throwing on his shoes, and trousers carelessly, his shirt crumpled from where he'd laid down on his four-poster bed. He opened the door and the grinding stopped for a minute and then started just as abruptly. What the hell was happening? Was something wrong with the TARDIS? Had something gotten on board. And, most importantly, where was Rose?

He entered the console room to low lighting and dead silence. Not a hum, not a whisper. Suddenly he felt the TARDIS seethe in anger at him as he approached her, pure rising anger. The centre shot sparks at him as he came to it, burning his hand deeply. He looked in shock at her before he noticed the glinting from the corner of his eye. He strode to it, down on the rim of the central column. He felt horror bubbling inside him. It was her key. Rose's TARDIS key. Weighted with sorrow underneath a tear stained piece of paper. With trembling hands he took her key, threading the chain between his fingers. There was his name, Doctor, written in Rose's neat scrawl on top of the folded paper. He unfolded the paper slowly, dreading to find what was there.

Doctor,

I have to leave you and the TARDIS behind but I'm sorry that I have to. I don't think you could know how sorry…You can't be with me like you used to be and that's okay. It really is but you have to move on, find someone to love you and who you love back like I do. I know you can't love me anymore; it's just the way we were. Find another love, my Doctor; you deserve to be happy, no matter what you think.

I left you something in my old room. It should be sitting on the bed. I want you to have it. Just don't forget me, yeah? And…If you want to do one thing for me, Doctor, just one thing…have a fantastic life.

All the love I have in my human heart,

Rose

Xxx

He didn't hesitate. He sprinted towards her bedroom door. He needed to know what it was before he found her again because she might not want him back. That thought made him sick. He threw open her door and there, lying on the bed, was her leather covered notebook he knew she kept. He looked towards her wardrobe, willing with all his might that her clothes were still there, that she had changed her mind. His hearts sunk when he opened the door to find it bare. Dead bare; nothing. Not a thread. It was as if she never even existed in his life. He sunk down onto her bed, his shoulders sagging. He reached for her notebook, wondering whether to read it or not.

Curiosity got the better of the Doctor as his finger tapped on the leather cover. He opened the cover and found a message written in black ink.

Doctor, if you're reading this then something horrible must have happened to me. (Well, either that or you're being a nosy git again) and I want to say (if I haven't already) that I love you.

Love Rose.

He smiled and flicked through the book. A poem caught his eye. He didn't recognize it so Rose must've written it. He read it through, the blatant words cutting into him like a razor. It made him bleed and die inside. He'd done this to her? He'd had her convinced he didn't love her? If anything, he loved her too much… he couldn't take anymore. He grabbed the book and hurtled to the console room. He had to get her back. The TARDIS landed with a small thud. He could see her turning slowly as she saw him materialise in front of her, the blue light flashing like a beacon. Her rucksack was still hoisted high on her shoulder, disbelief written across her face.

The Doctor opened the door and was faced with a tirade of anger and resentment in her voice, as she dropped her backpack to the floor and stared at him harder than stone. "What the hell are you doing to me?! Why are you even here?!"

He felt her anger and it made him rage, "What kind of person d'you think I am, Rose?! D'you think I can just let you go without a goodbye!"

She spat at him, her voice full of contempt, "I thought I'd save you the speech. You never said goodbye to Sarah Jane so why am I so special, huh?! Why should I get a goodbye when they never got anything! Why me!"

"Because I love you!" He shouted.

She just stood there, mouth open and eyes wide. He hadn't meant to say it like that. No full of anger, full of malice and hate. He'd imagined whispering it into her ear and her kissing him softly with those lips. Instead she looked at him incredulously, "No! No, no, no, no, no! I won't let you do this to me! I can't let you do this over and over again!"

"Rose…"

"No!" She cut him off, "I can't pretend anymore! I can't pretend that everything's fine anymore! It doesn't work like that! I'm not an actor, Doctor!"

She breathed heavily as he looked at her. His voice was a whisper now, "Rose, only do this if this is what you want. Not what you think what's best for me. I can't carry round that burden as well."

She softened, voice wavering, "I…I'm sorry…I never meant for you to feel guilty…I'm sorry."

Her tears leaked free and slid down her cheeks. "I didn't want to leave you…I just thought…I thought…"

"I know…I know." He caught her into his embrace tightly but she hung there in his arms. He let go quickly, questioning, "Rose?"

"Did you read it?" She asked quietly.

"Read what?"

She swallowed visibly, "My notebook. Did you read the last page?"

He shook his head wondering what she was talking about. She took the book from his limp grasp with her slender fingers. She opened it to the last page. His mouth opened in horror at what he saw there. Teary eyes, broken chains, hands separated that somehow he knew should be locked together. But the lyrics shook him until he felt like he wanted to throw up. These words. He knew them. A song about a girl who wondered if anyone would miss her if she died. Rose spoke a line, "And if I bleed, I'll bleed knowing you don't care and if I dream just to think of you, I'll wake without you there…" She sighed and closed the book, "I don't want to be like that anymore Doctor." Rose looked him dead in the eye, "If you do this then that's it, yeah? No looking back, no going back? Cause I don't want half a life anymore, I want the real thing. I want to be with you and if you don't want that then I'll walk away and you can get on with your life; but if you want me with you then it's us. Together." Rose sighed heavily, the weight of the world on her shoulders, "I can't be your doll anymore, Doctor. No games. It's all or nothing…"

He knew what he wanted. He didn't even have to think. He threaded his fingers through Rose's hair and he brought his lips to meet hers in a searing, punishing kiss filled with promises and passion. Their tongues vied for position, battling against each other. He pulled away from her, leaving her gasping for breath. "I pick you, Rose." He grinned his old grin, whispering finally into her ear. "I pick you." His fingers laced through hers tightly and she smiled her first real smile in weeks as he led her into the TARDIS, bag and notebook long forgotten on the stone floor.

A/N: all breathing a sigh of relief? I did! Hope you liked it! Might even do a sequel... (hint for more reviews alert!)