Authors Notes
- Thank you so much for the reviews I have for the previous 3 chapters! It made me smile when I saw my inbox of my e-mail account listing review alerts! I must say I was also shocked to find my story on 6 alert lists! 6!
- In response to the Blue eyes/Green Eyes comments I am a little confused! I just watched 2 episodes of Stargate and in one her eyes looked green while in the other they looked blue – I think it depends on the lighting so I will describe the color of them depending on where they are and what the lighting is like…lol
- and I apologize for the dialogue being in ' marks, I understand it is slightly irritating but it would take me a lot longer to write every chapter if I changed the way I type the speech marks – set in old ways you know, I will try my best to change them for future fics but I can't promise anything for this one.
- Thankyou for reading this far, I hope you enjoy what is to come!
Chapter 4: I Can't
'When did Teal'c say he would be back from Tulac?' Jack asked, tackling a bowl of fruitloops despite previous bad experiences
'He didn't, he just said that Bre'tac and Ry'ac wanted his assistance and he would return as soon as possible,' Daniel replied, yogurt being his preferred choice of breakfast this morning
'Ah, it's probably a Jaffa thing,' Jack shrugged, chasing soggy fruitloops with his spoon 'Have you seen Sam lately?' he had brought up Teal'c first to make his inquiry about Sam seem like him just checking up on the other two members of SG1 and not like he was obsessed with her whereabouts, Daniel looked up at Jack from examining his yogurt pot
'Strange,' he muttered, Sam was asking about you a couple of weeks ago, is there something up?' seemingly contented with whatever was in his yogurt he placed it back on the table and resumed eating it
'No, no, just checking in with everyone, I was just worried, I haven't seen her in the commissary lately…maybe I just missed her,' Jack contemplated casually, hoping Daniel would jump in with some useful information, he suppressed a smile as Daniel paused, spoon poised halfway from his mouth
'You haven't missed her,' he admitted, taking to stirring the yogurt while he was unable to eat it 'She hasn't been in here for days, she has been flitting from lab to lab gathering stuff towards a couple of things she needed to do, I recommended that she grab something to eat but she insisted that she was fine…' Daniel paused as if trying to recall why he had not simply dragged her down to the commissary
'Thank you Daniel,' he picked up his bowl and span around ready to take the remains of his fuitloops to the head of the room
'I wouldn't check in with her Jack,' Daniel advised as Jack headed for the door, pausing he span back around to face the archeologist, a questioning look asking what was already on the tip of his tongue
'Firstly you have to find her and secondly she isn't in a very good mood,'
'So she has PMT, I can handle it,' Jack sighed, Daniel shrugged, giving him a "okay but don't say I didn't warn you" look
'See You Later Daniel,' Jack called leaving his dirty bowl on the side and grabbing a few looks from the other SGC staff as he left the room.
'I'm not letting you slip by me Carter,' Sam span around and almost collided with Jack who stood framed in the doorway, blocking her exit
'Excuse me please Sir,' she asked politely, barley acknowledging him or his determined statement, he did not move, he merely stood in her path trying to catch her eye, wanting her to forget about her silly worries and come to her senses, she knew they were made for each other
'Sir Please,' she insisted, Jack paused and after a moment stepped aside but with no intention of leaving her be, she started off down the corridor at a near enough run but Jack followed her to another lab and another and another, each time she would collect something, a clipboard, an artifact and each time Jack would follow until they returned to Sam's lab and she placed all of her information on the desk, for a moment they stood as if frozen in time, unmoving, just pensive until she span around to launch attack against him
'Why won't you leave me alone?' she raged already sure of the answer but wanting to hear how he phrased it, how he was going to try and win her over
'Because I can't, because every time I close my eyes you are there! Every time I catch a breath I can sense yours on my cheek! You say you are trying to prevent our destruction by making sure we aren't together while in fact you are destroying me by denying what we have. I don't care about death but I would hate to die knowing that we had never given it a chance.' Once again he struck her where it hurt, a stab in the chest, did he like to see her bleed? She turned away again
'I can't,' she whispered, hysteria threaded into her voice 'do you love me? Do you love Samantha Carter?' she bit her lip to stop a sob escaping into the strained atmosphere of the room
'More than she could ever know,' the reply was barely above a whisper but she heard it, she heard the pain and the longing that betrayed his usual strong demeanor and it broke her heart
'Then you need to leave me alone,' she pushed passed him on her way out, once again she was leaving him
'Oh no you don't, not this time,' he followed her, jogging to catch her up this time instead of keeping at a steady pace, once ahead of her he backed her into a door, swiped his card and they both fell into the room, Jack making sure that he landed on the floor and softened the fall for her. Both climbed to their feet, Sam casting him an accusatory stare
'Don't Jack, don't try, you know what I need, just let me have it,'
'Yes I know what you need but I also know we aren't thinking of the same thing here,' he rushed forwards and kissed her, willing her to remember the reason they loved each other, willing her hysteria to settle and wishing for this drama to end, she broke away shocked and instantly feeling betrayed by her body which screamed with desire for Jack to take her in his arms and kiss her 'til the end of time, her brain argued fiercely with this causing her to implode, her mind and body were totally out of sync and hysteria was breaking the strong military woman that the SGC demanded
'This is the last time Jack,' she was barely audible but the force behind the words was strong 'Let me be or I will leave the SGC completely, please don't force me to take this option,' Jack hung his head in response, he had been forceful but for good reason, she might need space but he needed her, more than anything else in the world right now, this time it was his turn to shed a tear, he backed off, wiping his eyes quickly before disappearing into the corridor.
Sam tried not to concern herself with the huge mistake she knew she had made, instead she forced her exhausted body to push on and made her way up to Daniel's lab.
More than a little distracted she bumped into something hard and person-shaped; it took her a moment to realize it was the person she was looking for – Daniel
'Are you okay Sam?' he asked, containing a gasp aimed at her frail appearance, her skin was ghostly white, bags hung heavy under her eyes and her hair looked dull and flat, She opened her mouth to react but dizziness overcame her and the world started to fade, in other words – not really
Sam felt Daniel catch her as she fell.
Okay BIG thing happening next chapter! Woot! And this whole "we can't be together" thing will be forced into the shadows! The first 4 were really foundation chapters now we are getting to the fun stuff!
Btw I am still looking for a beta…Anyone?
Smiles
Sesa
xxx