Authors Notes

-There is a little bit of how Charlie died in here, if there was an episode that mentioned details I haven't seen it so it is a lot of guesswork (and making stuff up so it is more sad), I apologize if I get anything wrong.

- There is some stuff from the movie in here, so if you're confused…just rent it! Lol

- I was just sitting around and realized how many good people the show has gotten rid of – Martuf, Dr Frasier, General Hammond, Jacob, JACK! I like the older crew (+Vala coz she is kwl!) they are better to write with!

- Thankyou loads to my friend beta – Caroline O'Neill she helped me slow down the storyline a bit and prepare me for a sequel (with will have Vala in it… I speak no more!) Plus she helped me fill out a few of the emptier chapters! Thank you!

-There is a plan for a sequel named conviction – can I have some response to whether you think a sequel would be a good idea?

Chapter 8: Wishing forward - Crying back

'Wow,' Jack could not take his eyes of the woman who had just answered the door to him, he looked at her up and down and could not utter a word; there was no term to describe how beautiful she was dressed in just a plain black dress and heels, the simplicity suited her perfectly

'It doesn't look right does it?' Sam sighed and turned away to take the stairs at a run

'No,' Jack stepped over the threshold and grabbed her arm before she disappeared, turning back, her eyes locked onto the deep browns which seemed to approve of her appearance 'you look…amazing,'

'You're just saying that,' she assumed on no basis but her own scrutiny, this statement was disproved however, when Jack pulled her into his arms and kissed her

'Shall we pop over to Starbucks for a coffee then?' Jack said as they broke apart, he couldn't help but laugh when Sam looked slightly crestfallen 'I'm kidding, I'm taking you to Restaurant de la Paris,' Her face lit up again and she took the hand he offered without hesitation

'Let's go then,'

As soon as they had entered the restaurant Sam could feel the warmth of the place; it was vast and busy but the dull chatter belonged mostly to couples who sat basked in the candlelight and laughing while they ate, Jack and Sam were led to a corner table where they sat and menus were offered to them, silence reigned in their corner while they chose what they wanted and once the orders had been made there was an awkward bout of looking around but not quite at each other and polishing knives and forks simply for the sake of it being a distraction

'I know you set Janet up to convince me Jack, I am not stupid,' Sam started the conversation on a rather hostile note

'I have no doubts about your intelligence Carter,' He replied in a much lighter manner before adding '…did it work?'

Sam thought back to what she had resolved, every time she had tried to convince herself that she didn't want a baby her thoughts had swung back round to that reflection therefore her decision had not changed

'I want to keep the baby,' she admitted pretending not to notice Jack's silent celebration 'but you have to promise me Jack that you are not going to leave me. Emotional blackmail was the only thing that inspired my decision, in all honestly I am scared, so many things could happen…I just don't want to be alone,'

'I haven't left you before and I have no plans to in the future,' he took her hand, just like he had in the commissary except this time an honest stare replaced the kiss 'I promise that I will be there when you need me, I promise to love and protect both of you and I promise that nothing will harm you or our child,' her look softened as she saw tears well in his eyes, not sure whether she wanted to take the risk she whispered quietly –

'Charlie…' his hand slipped away from hers in a sudden gesture

'What happened to him will not happen again, I promise, never again, never… no one should have to outlive their child,' the sentence had started boldly but tailed off into anguish, she was about to change the subject when he continued, dull quiet tones describing his pain;

'I told him he had to leave it alone, I told him so many times, I had even banned toy weapons from the house because I didn't want him thinking that toys and the real thing are the same, in reality they are so much more… vicious, they can snatch a life away before you can draw a breath. I was in the yard and I heard a shot… I knew the second I heard it that something was horribly wrong… it was one of those gut feelings, you know?' he looked up at Sam from his slumped position on the table, presumably he was trying to hide any sobs from escaping into the buzzing atmosphere of the restaurant, a man looking like he had just passed out on the table wasn't the most inconspicuous sight though. Shooing a few strange looks with an angry glare, Sam let her focus return to Jack's story 'I rushed upstairs, not bearing to even imagine what I would find…,' Jack grimaced as he recalled the scene and his voice shook as he pressed on 'Charlie had managed to take the safety off of the gun and had shot himself in the chest… there was blood, so much blood… it had soaked his Tee-shirt and it covered the carpet… He was still alive when I got there…he…he…' Sam who could feel a tear slip down her cheek reached out and touched his arm compassionately

'It's okay,' she whispered 'You don't have to-'

'No, you have to know why it won't happen again…' Sam bowed down and let him have a moment before he continued 'He cried out to me…he was sobbing in pain… I remember – "daddy, daddy it hurts, daddy help me" I had grabbed the nearest item of clothing I could find and pressed it onto the wound but he was shaking so violently and screaming so loud, I desperately wanted to give my life to save his but I couldn't – "daddy, I'm so cold," he didn't know what was happening, he didn't know he was dying, he didn't know that he needed to say goodbye…he was dead by the time the ambulance arrived… he had died in my arms, pleading for me to help him…'

'I'm so sorry,' Sam took his hand and locked their fingers together; Jack sat up, faking a smile and wiping his tears away, He did not feel it was wise to dwell too long on this subject, he never had and he didn't ever plan to talk about it longer than he just had.

His story had hit Sam hard, there had been brief references made but Sam had never heard what had truly happened, unfortunately, now she knew, she wished she didn't

'Shortly afterwards I was called back into service and I went with Daniel, Kowalski and a few others to Abydos, if it wasn't for Daniel I would have died and probably killed people with me, I was told when I was there that if I found a threat I was to blow up the gate, obviously – I will give him his credit – Daniel had more common sense, Ra would still have been floatin' around in that ship of his if he hadn't been around. When I was sat away from everyone he came to me and after I had told him that my family wasn't really a family anymore he brought me back to my senses… he said - "I don't want to die, your men don't want to die, these people here don't want to die…it's a shame you're in such a hurry to" for all his faults I have to thank him, if it wasn't for Daniel I would be a dead man right now,'

'Obviously I've heard of the original Abydos mission but I didn't know so much had gone on…didn't you tell everyone Daniel was dead?' Sam interested herself in the subject, trying to pull away from their previous discussion

'Yeah, it was easier than explaining that he had got married and had decided to live on a different planet with a bunch of weird people who didn't understand a word of English,'

Sam was about to ask another question when their food arrived, she smiled up at the waiter as he placed a dish of salmon and steamed vegetables in front of her.

Clearly tiring of talking about something which had happened so long ago Jack moved back to more current affairs

'Are you going to tell Jacob about us when we go to the Tok'ra base tomorrow?'

'I will if he isn't busy, it isn't a social call is it? He asked us if we could come and help the Tok'ra with a big problem they had been experiencing,'

'Well he still might want to know that he is going to have a grandchild,' Jack reasoned

'We will deal with their problem first and then if we have time then I will tell him, he doesn't need to be distracted, he isn't just my dad anymore, he is an important part of a rebel force against the Goa'ould…' Sam retaliated, she wanted to tell her father but felt a bit uncomfortable about doing so, once she had told him Selmak would know too which ultimately could expose them. Pushing the thought from her mind, she looked back at Jack, determined to enjoy the rest of the evening.

'So…I'm home,' in a strange High-School date kind of way Sam and Jack stood on Sam's porch, the porch light was off but moonlight illuminated the two forms

'Thank you Sam' Jack whispered, not wanting to let her go, see her walk away… he wanted them to be able to stand here in the moonlight, the gentle breeze whipping at their hair and bringing them closer together, he wanted one kiss to last them a lifetime, this moment was perfect, both at ease, both enjoying the warmth of the other's arms

'What for?' she asked, the moonlight only making her eyes glint a deeper blue

'For giving me a second chance,' he placed his hand tenderly on her stomach, they were a family, the three of them together…happy, there was a time when this feeling had rushed away from him but now it flooded back, there had been three once, there had been happiness but when tragedy had struck he hadn't believed he would ever be gifted again, fortunately some toxic atmosphere and a night pinned as a mistake had given a sad lonely man another shot and now there was not enough gratitude in the world for him to give back. Sam leaned against his chest, feeling safe in his embrace and instantly caught up in the steady beating of his heart, it soothed her.

'Do you ever get fed up standing on this porch?' Jack asked, Sam could hear the deep tones leave his throat from her position against his chest; She looked up at him, where was he going with this now?

'I don't know, I wouldn't call the porch the centerpiece of my house, I don't spend that much time out here…why?'

'Well, I was just thinking, there will be two of you living here and maybe there might not be enough room,' He rolled over his words, not quite knowing how to phrase his suggestion 'You might need some more space and a place where we can keep the three of us together…less hassle for the baby, not having two homes…' by the end of the sentence Sam had twigged on

'Are you asking me to move in with you?' when she received a small nod in return her eyes instantly fell away from his, he thought what they had was a steady relationship, it was nothing like that, what they had was for the baby, she loved him and had already failed to convince herself otherwise but a relationship was too much for her at the moment 'I'll think about it,' she settled 'for the baby…you understand that right Jack? That what we have for the moment is for the baby, not for us. You understand you have to give me time?'

'The baby, of course…take all the time in the world,' They exchanged goodnights and Sam greeted the warmth of her house as she stepped inside, Jack lingered on the porch for a minute before making his way up the drive towards his car. Sam watched from a window hoping that she had not hurt him with her reluctance; her guilt caught her when he gave one last glance at the house and drove away.

A tear stained her cheek as she climbed the stairs and changed out of her dress. Sitting on her bed she contemplated for the first time the baby itself; was it going to be a girl or a boy? Would it have her eyes, would it have Jack's nose? Would she and the baby be swarmed by people on the street who had seemingly forgotten the English language and replaced their vocabulary with sugar-coated baby speak? She had no hopes towards the baby other than it having a good life; she would leave the details in the hands of fate. She pulled up her pajama top and placed her hand where Jack's had been not so long ago, there was something growing inside of her, something amazing and while her feelings didn't expand as far as love for something the size of a jewelry box she did promise with all her heart that she would protect it and look after it until it was ready to open it's eyes to the world…maybe love would come later.

Okay! That was a muddle! Just a couple of tid-bits I wanted to sneak in there before the adventure! Off-World Next chapter – I think you will like the very original chapter name to! lol

You will have to excuse my strange writing technique for this chapter – it wasn't actually planed! I am actually surprised you have hung on this long! Most people blank me out when I write stuff this long or talk for this long (I have verbal diarrhea as my mom says – okay not the nicest term!) lol

Next Chapter – Jacob is a bit shocked and oh my God we are having a snake problem! (not of the Tok'ra kind of course! lol)