Authors Notes
- I want to warn you this is not a good chapter; it's very random and not amazingly written, Im just putting a couple more layers into the story
- I kinda wrote this in two parts, the first bit was written a couple of days ago, the last bit written this morning coz I was off ill from school, when I am ill it is difficult to write endings to things, as you will notice it just seems to cut off
- I watched Reckoning prt 2 yesterday and today, why does Daniel have to die? I always sob my heart out! Speaking of that, a certain friend of mine wasn't too happy with a particular chapter I have lined up for conviction…God I feel evil!
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Chapter 19: Twilight
Isn't it obscure that when you close your eyes and you wish hard, like you did as a child on a shooting star, your imagination takes you wherever you want to go? Sam could feel sand between her toes as she ambled along a moonlit beach, sweet serenity washing over her as smoothly as the waves bathed the shore. One heartbeat and she could feel dappled sunlight warm her skin and sense Jack's fingers lock with hers as they strolled through light foliage of a beautiful secluded forest. It was strange that she was sat outside Jack's cabin, the evening wildlife creating a dull chatter in her ear, her eyes tightly closed yet she could feel him with her, remember the moment of blissful ignorance that spawned the daughter she carried. Finally allowing her eyes to open she looked to the sky…he was millions of miles away, she knew he was not due back for days and yet she so desperately craved his touch, his kiss, another moment in her lifetime that she would always remember, she wanted them to make love under the stars with not a regret in the world…
Maybe she was just hormonal, broody, horny, however you wished to put it, but now more than ever, while she felt slow, tired and weak, when every time she slept the face of Nirrti enjoying each cruel blow would haunt her, she had become scared of being isolated, months back the world could have fallen around her lab and she would not have noticed, now she was jumpy, nervous and so damn emotional!
That was why, when Jack recommended a short break here to allow Sam time to relax her request to bring Janet with her had been accepted, Cassie had also accompanied them of course and had, furthermore been fascinated by her pregnancy. She had answered many questions from the curious girl since their arrival and each time a reference to her and Jack had been mentioned, it had gained a somewhat naïve "awww"
Truth is, the situation was so much more complicated than a single word or sound, Sam still did not hold total faith that her and Jack's relationship could last, if what they had was even a relationship…"see, it was comments like that," she told herself "that proved the situation was more of a mess than a romance"
'All he had in the fridge was beer so I grabbed one for me and got a glass of water for you,' Janet took a seat next to her, passing the glass of water to Sam and commencing to crack into her beer with a satisfying pop
'Typical Jack,' Sam tittered, remembering the secret ingredient to his omelet and cringing at the thought of what it must taste like 'along with some kind of few days old take away, beer is probably all he has in his fridge at home as well,'
'I would have thought he would prefer to eat some decent food out of work, the stuff in the commissary isn't particularly appetizing,' Janet looked out on the lake in fascination, bats hovered over it catching nocturnal insects attracted to the moonlight reflected off the surface of the water
'Is Cassie in bed?' Sam wished to change the subject, talk of beer only increased her longing for Jack, he was her alcohol, her drug.
'Yes, it's been a busy day, she would have passed out if she hadn't hit the sack,' there was a note of amusement in Janet's voice which vanished as she became thoughtful 'I was pregnant once…It was good, all good, the pregnancy went fine…until the last minute…'
Janet's sudden confession caught Sam off guard and she fell from a kind of limbo back to earth with a bump
'Hailey Melissa Frasier…she was still born…I've never told Cassie, I think it might break her heart." The story stimulated a deep pregnant woman's fear and tears quickly rushed to Sam's eyes, if Janet meant to scare her, she was succeeding 'It was hard for a while…A long while, burying a little white coffin, signing divorce papers, drilling myself into the ground at work…Things were looking up when I came to the SGC though, I can really help people now, make sure my experiences don't repeat onto another…I know you have been through some harsh stuff Sam, it's why I can promise this will work; you Jack and your daughter…It's gonna be hard…but it will work,' Janet's stare became vacant and she swigged half the bottle of Guinness down in one go, Sam was left rather stunned and seemed to be incapable of anything more than mumbling pathetic "I'm so sorries" caught in a sensitive moment she swayed to something which had been nagging at her for many hours now
'What if he doesn't come back?' she looked at Janet who still did not return the gaze, it was now the moon that fascinated her 'What if all I get is a box and a plaque labeled "Colonel Jonathon O'Neill, US Air-Force, date of birth to date of death?"
"I could not give you an answer to that Sam; your jobs come with risks, but I don't think you should doubt for a second that Jack would do anything less than take down every system lord in the galaxy to return to you,' when her gaze finally did fall it held sincerity more than Sam had ever seen in the woman's eyes, she knew undeniably what she was talking about and that no matter how much love liked to see you bleed, the high ride was worth it, it gave Sam faith that there was so much more than what she could see and how far her imagination stretched
'But what if he is dead already?' Janet smiled, Sam had always loved to question everything from choice of cereal at breakfast to the meaning of life, often she did not get an answer but this is one occasion she would
'You would know…even if he was billions of miles away, the moment his heart stopped, yours would to; miss a beat, loose a second…you would know'
There were many minutes of silent reflection, only tainted by the sounds of wildlife and the rarity of a car passing
'I think when the time comes you should tell Cassie what you told me, I think she needs to know you had another daughter…when it does come out make sure she knows she means the world to you though…I am sure she could offer much more support than I could ever give you,' Sam's words of wisdom broke the silence. In the time preceding this comment she had been thinking hard about what this experience had taught her about herself and everyone around her, she had probably learned more in 6 months than she had in many years, both Jack and Janet's stories of loss had been divulged to her, she had made new friends, encountered old enemies and most of all, for the first time she knew what true love was and what it meant, just looking down at her large belly proved there was more to come, that the journey wasn't over, she knew something was coming, but could anything really prepare her for what was going to hit her next?
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'It's SG-1 sir,' Walter confirmed. Sam and General Hammond stood in the gate room, anxiously awaiting the results of the mission, Sam was probably the most shaken as what came through that Stargate could refute or verify her fears and even after that had passed there was another change she would have to face waiting in the briefing room.
Both of the senior personnel heaved a sigh as Jack, Daniel and Teal'c casually strolled through the event horizon and stopped for a brief conversation on the ramp as the gate shut down, Sam smiled and made her way to the gate room to reacquaint Jack with the comforts of home, there was a hug offered and graciously accepted by Daniel and Teal'c then a smile and a short kiss for Jack. Sam's pregnancy being less than inconspicuous and Jack's plans of retirement spreading through the base like wildfire made it pointless to hide their relationship, this had turned out not to be a bad thing; Reynolds had offered his congratulations to the couple in the commissary, Dixon obviously cracked a joke to Jack in passing at every opportunity, Walter and Siler had each taken their turns to say they had always had faith that Sam and Jack would get together in the end and most just smiled and sighed "Finally"
'I trust you are all reacquainted?' The airmen that lined the back wall of the gate room ordered themselves as General Hammond made his presence known 'if so there is someone waiting in the briefing room for you,'
'Of course!' Jack offered his hand to Sam and they led the march of SG1 to meet their new CO
'Hi, I'm Cam Mitchell,' The Colonel shook hands with each member of SG1, a particular smile reaching out to Sam before they all took their seats at the briefing table. Many looks were exchanged and the little conversation that bounced between Jack, Cam and occasionally Sam was the only noise that could be heard in the room until General Hammond arrived
'Okay then SG-1, it seems we have things to discuss…'
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- Okay, please don't shoot me; I know that was a pretty bad chapter, more foundations! Just when you think the house is nearly built hey?
- I used the name Hailey for Janet's lost daughter because it means "hero" which is fitting for a couple of reasons… there are other reasons for using the name that will come apparent to you soon, it is not what I plan to call Sam and Jack's baby though, my idea for the name is a bit more cheesy :os
Next Chapter: "Oh God, not now" (ha! I'm a tight ass with this synopsis!)
Warning: I can not promise anything for the next chapter, it will be with no doubt the hardest thing I have ever written, for this reason I can not promise for a really quick update, your gonna have to give me a few days, I promise not to take weeks though.
Anyone who can tell me anything about childbirth please spill the beans! My mom is in no way helpful because she just makes a joke out of it, probably just the momsy thing to do, Im only 15, she doesn't want me ending up pregnant! I have a certain person who has been a great help on the matter but I need any info anyone can give me, I want to make this as accurate and original as possible.
Baby Counter: Only half a chapter until baby O'Neill/Carter makes her way into the world!