A/N- So this is where the story is going to differ a lot from the original. There are a lot of details and although a lot of the plot remains, there's some surprising changes for all of you. Please R&R or follow! Also if your into listening to music as you read. The Civil Wars- Poison and Wine, and Hold me while you wait by Lewis Capudli were two songs that go well with this chapter.

Chapter 12

Location: Theed, Naboo

Month 7 Day 35 Year 29 BBY

The sounds of the blaring music and loud groups of people stings her ears. She leans heavily against the bright golden wall of the living room. Her eyes watch foggily through her intoxicated haze. She isn't quite drunk yet and the Corenillian brandy has begun to stop burning her belly with each swig. Her hand tips her glass of sour brandy and she watches from afar as her sister Sabe' dancing with Ian Lego, a blond haired man that sways her hips closer to his hips. Sabe' follows through and begins to turn around and grind their hips together to the music.

Padme' chuckles at the irony of her half drunk sibling's actions towards the boy. Her sister is usually not as affectionate to men who flirt with her. But when she drinks, she lets out her wild side. On the other hand, Padme who'd been drinking under her friend's coaxing since she was 13, doesn't let loose as much. Her tolerance to brandy and wine had grown over many years. But she often became a bit more truthful and loose with her refined tongue when drunk and she's on the verge of being drunk.

She needs to be able to get through this evening and the next morning without any more tears or heartache. She craves a night of blackout sleep without dreaming of the boy her heart belongs to. She has spent the last 2 weeks crying and hiding her agony from her family. She spent her nights sobbing quietly into her pillow and her early mornings hiding those puffy eyes from the night prior. She had only come tonight because she had been invited by her friends weeks ago. They had planned the surprise going away party for Anakin and she had helped plan the party and set up the decorations to keep up appearances. Though it has been difficult for her to avoid her best friend completely.

She had made many excuses to stay at school late due to presentations that were due this week. She had even stayed at school until after dinner so she could avoid seeing her friend at the dinner table. She also made sure to rise earlier than anyone else and leave for the university before breakfast. This had helped her heart ache and her family didn't seem to mind as it was the week of her finals for the term. They knew she was busy and kept cheering her on and wishing her luck on her presentations and exams.

But the days off at the Lake had been hard to swallow. Her entire family had gone to the lake as usual and it had been extremely difficult for her to not touch her friend, or hug him. She had kept her distance with distractions from her sisters and niece. Anakin had also tried to keep his distance and found himself spending time with Darren and Ruwee the most. Padme' knew he felt dreadful for breaking things abruptly, but she had known this could happen. What hurt the most was the fact that the person she usually went to was the cause of her distress and hurt.

Her eyes land on the group of young men cheering their friend on. He had to finish the bottle without stopping. They cheer on and Padme' eyes the group's stupidity. He'd be so hung over that he might miss his ship off world. But that isn't her problem. He isn't a baby and doesn't need to be chided about his drinking habits. Padme' eyes her blond haired friend's drunken state. He hasn't passed out drunk yet, but if he continued his actions he might as well be.

Padme' watches as two girls who attend university wrap their arms tightly around each side of him. The red haired girl leans on her tiptoes and whispers into her friend's ear. The other girl runs her hands through his golden waves and he smiles at whatever the other girl had whispered to him. Padme' frowns watching the three of them laugh and feels the envy spreading through her fingertips. She clenches the glass as Ian and Sabe' come back to her spot on the wall.

Ian wraps his arms around Sabe's low-cut golden dress. He whispers something to her and she grins and eyes the direction of her sister's view. Sabe' smiles at Anakin's behavior with the two girls and she admits in her drunken state, " I wonder which one he'll take to bed. Which do you think Pad? The brunette or the red head? I don't think he'd try both of them at the same time but knowing him, he might."

Padme's chugs the rest of her large cup of brandy. It slides hotly down her throat and into her warm body. Her gaze never meets her sister's and she never responds to her sister's bet. She can't tear her eyes away from the pursuing young brunette on his left arm. Her body is hot and rising with anger as she watches on. The young brunette flirtatiously runs her hands along his chest and bats her eyes at him. Anakin's smile grows with her gestures as he takes another drink from his friend Garrett. The look in his eyes sets a blaze in Padme's soul watching them.

He likes her. He has that look. She reels in her self-control which isn't much. Her drunken state made her less controllable and less tolerable in public. Her mouth cannot run. No one knows of their failed romantic fling. Her heart stings knowing that is all she was to him. He has eyes for his short fling bimbos again. He had never been after her heart, just her virtue.

Her two fists are set against the wall as she watches on. She watches their flirty smiles and laughs until she sees the brunette pull her former lover down into a kiss. Many of the onlookers whistle and cheer watching their friend get some action before he leaves for the Academy.

Her self-control is undone by that bitch's actions. She feels numb as her feet move in a direction that she doesn't want to go. Sabe calls after her and her calls are ignored. She continues moving through the crowd of friends and other students she knows from the university. Tears begin to form in her eyes and she tries to hold them back. She tears herself from the home and into the pouring down rain.

She covers herself with her thin shawl above her head. Though it doesn't do much to keep out the soaking sheets pouring down on her thin blue dress. Her skin is soaking with each step. Her curls she had fixed up for the party flop down in wet straight pieces and stick to her face. The tears come and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because she's already becoming soaked by the sheets of rain pelting against her skin. Her heels dig into the rocky parts of the drive as she continues on her own without cover. She has to make it at least to the small brick building on the grounds.

She and Sabe had come together to the party. They had told their parents they would be spending the night at the estate owned by Garrett's parents. It was large enough to contain the twenty something guests at the party. Her parents had agreed knowing it was safer for the young women to stay instead of trying to drive back home drunk in the speeder. Ruwee didn't encourage their drinking as they could legally on Naboo. The drinking age is 16 and both girls were old enough to make their own decisions.

Padme reaches the brick building. It is a small one room cottage used for guests if the main house was full of people. No one will be using the cottage for the night and she can be alone. Her hands tremble as she presses the entrance panel to the cottage.

The room lights turn on, though they are dim from lack of use. Her eyes blink back the brightness and eye the room. The cottage has a full size bed with bright quilts in the corner. Next to the end table is a medium sized fireplace which is automatic and turns on with the command of the lights.

Padme' grabs the quilt off the edge of the bed and wraps it around her shaking shoulders. She kneels before the warm fire. It is not a real fire, but it warms her body as the sobs come. The sobs wracked her body once more. She thought she could handle this party. She had been over the crying spats since she had begun to help set up for the party the night before. She had thought she was strong enough to face her friends and perhaps even speak to Anakin, to say goodbye properly.

But no, she knows now she isn't. She isn't strong enough to let him go. He will be leaving in the wee hours of the morning from Garrett's estate and onto his journey to becoming a soldier. She had meant to say goodbye to him in front of everyone that way there were no private goodbyes. No yearnings to lean up on her toes and once more kiss his lips. To feel his touch once more before their lives divided.

No she didn't mean anything to him. That was apparent by his flirty grins and allowing that brunette bimbo to touch him. To touch him in the same way she had touched him two weeks prior.

Her sobs continue and she clutches the blanket in anguish.

You're such a stupid girl! He's a boy after one thing. He took that from you! You're such a stupid girl! Her mind reminds herself of her stupid actions and she rocks back and forth reeling in her feelings of betrayal.

" You're not stupid," comes a familiar voice through her thick fog of self-pity.

She does not turn her head but says flatly, " Stay the hell out of my head. I don't need you here. Go away."

" No." Is the flat answer she receives from his lips.

She feels shame wash over her. Here she is wallowing in self-pity and in comes her rescuer as he always does. Usually he would wrap his arms around her and allow her to tell him what was wrong. If she needed a shoulder to cry on, he allowed it. He was the only that could see her this broken and this time she wants him as far as possible from her.

"Leave!" Her voice is louder this time, but it isn't a shout. It fills her ears but it isn't as loud and strong as she wanted it to be.

" No." Is his firm answer. He tries to come closer but her angry gaze turns on him then. She holds her hands out in front of her for him to not come any closer.

He takes in her broken appearance. She is soaked to the bone. Her hair is sticking to her cheeks and her makeup is starting to run. The light blue dress she had chosen to wear clings to her every curve and he can't keep his eyes off of her. But her eyes shine back at him with fury and hate.

" Did you come to gloat about your latest conquest?" She mocks with hate.

He looks down knowing what she had seen. He hadn't meant that girl to have her hands all over him. He had gone along with her flirting but he hadn't wanted anymore from the girl. He hadn't expected to find her lips on his. He had pulled away and told her he wasn't interested in bedding her. She hadn't been very happy and she and her redhead friend had gone on to flirt with Garrett. He had sensed his friend's anger through the force and he had seen her leave.

He replies simply, " No."

She wipes away her wrecked eyeliner and suggests, " Is that the only word in your vocabulary now?"

" P-" He begins, trying to find the words to get out what he needed to say, but it doesn't come.

She wraps the blanket further around her exposed body and huffs out, " I don't need you here."

He rolls his eyes with her stubbornness and sits down next to her. Her hateful expression does not change as she scoots several feet away. He sits crossed legged and gives in, " P- please I just want to talk."

She crosses her arms across her chest and snaps, "No. I don't have anything to say to you. Now please leave." She emphasizes her demands.

" I'm sorry," He murmurs, his eyes stare back into hers.

Her hateful expression flinches with his apology. She has to hold onto her anger towards him. She has too. It's all the power she has left. Her self-control is gone and feigned by her fury.

Keep it together Padme'. He'll leave soon if you ignore those pitiful baby blues. Keep it together.

Anakin can hear her drifting thoughts as she does not respond to his apology. Her drunken state has left her mentally open and her mind open for him to hear. Although he doubts that she wants him to hear her thoughts. So he continues with what he wants to say, " I'm sorry for causing you this much pain. I never-" He chokes on his words as they sound pathetic coming from his lips.

He knows she's hurting. He knows he's fucked up their friendship and whatever future they might have had together. He stares back into her brown orbs which shine with how broken she is.

" I can't forgive you," Bursts out of her mouth.

His eyes downcast and the guilt sinks further into him. He wants to sink into that hole and never come out. " I know." Is the only response he can muster.

Tears spring onto her eyelids as she whispers, " I'm trying to hate you but I-" Her voice breaks again.

This time her broken voice has him acting. He pulls her close into his arms. She tries to fight, but it's pointless. She allows him to hold her. Her head falls back against his shoulder and her body lets out another sob. He pulls the blanket around her tighter and his arms tighten around her trying to mend the broken pieces of her soul. He says nothing, and allows her to sob into his shirt as he always did when she needed her best friend there.

" I'm so sorry P-" His own voice breaks from the built up agony of seeing her like this. He is the cause of her sorrow and he hates himself for it. He hates himself because he knows their friendship will never be the same. This would be the last time he is allowed to hold her like this. Tomorrow she'll remember how much she despises him and go on with her life without him in it.

" I should hate you- gods- I should." She whispers against his shirt.

" You do, you're just drunk," Is his whisper to her.

Her eyes flicker up to his blue hues. She sees the mirror of brokenness in his own gaze. She can peer into those blue hues and see how broken she appears to him. She wipes those tears away hastily and utters, " I'm such a wreck. Gods how am I going to explain this to Sabe'?"

He helps her push her soaked brown locks away from her tear-stained cheeks. His drunken state leaves him vulnerable as well and he finds himself whispering to her, " No, you're so beautiful, force- and you don't even know it."

Neither is sure who moves first. But their lips pressed together in a haunting surge of a need. She cups his cheeks and kisses him right back. His drunken mind is blurred as he slips his tongue in her mouth. She entwines her hands in his hair, kissing him hard. He urges her closer by pulling the quilt from around her. It drops to the floor with a thud. His fingers lace on the back of her legs and he lifts her into his lap. She begins to grind against him in need. Her need is deep and natural with him. He groans against her mouth and tries to break the kiss.

P- we can't- please. His mind sends his thoughts to her through their bond. She ignores his pleas and continues to slip her tongue back against his. His fingers lace under her dress straps as he needs to feel her skin under his touch. He touches her arms and she sighs in his mouth, almost relief. She pulls away from their kiss long enough to pull her dress from over her head and throws it into the floor. She sits before him as vulnerable as she ever has been in all her glory.

Her eyes shine with need. She kisses him again and her thoughts echo in his ears. Ani please- let's say goodbye like this.

He pulls away from her and watches her red lips part, waiting for his answer. She can feel the hope dying inside every second she waits for his answer. She knows they need to say goodbye properly and this is what she needs for closure, at least she hopes saying goodbye might give her the strength to move on and leave him behind.

She bites her lip as she waits and waits for what seems like a century. His response is to lift her in his arms and lay her down on the bed behind them. She smiles from underneath him and continues to pull him on top of her.

The rain continues to pelt down as time stands still. The last few hours have gone on in no more than silence or their soft cries of pleasure. Padme' lays on her side wrapped in the sheet of the bed watching the rain from outside. The beginning of the graying skies became visible within her view. The cloudy skies will lighten up within the next hour or so. In no time, he'll leave her from this bedside and things will have not changed. Her feelings are still the same but there is a fineness to their actions of the night. As the morning comes she reflects on her anger and hate which is there for how he has handled the situation, but she isn't angry at pushing him back into the bed with her. She needs to know it's over and after he leaves he'll go on with his life and she will too.

His hands brush the soft curls against her back. He whispers, " I want you to know that I didn't do this to just get you into bed. I-"

She sits up then eyeing the graying sky. She reaches for her dress on the floor and pulls it over her head. She turns to him then and says coolly, " I know, but this doesn't change anything. I'm still pissed at you for how you handled things."

His eyes downcast to the green sheets he's wrapped in. Her anger simmered through their bond, but on the edge is their connection. There is hope for their friendship or that is what he hopes. Perhaps one day she'll forgive him and want to be friends as they had been at one time.

" I know and you have every right to be." He comments, turning his eyes back on her.

She nods stiffly and adds, " I need time to figure things out for myself. I-" She pauses looking back out the window trying to sort through her thoughts. His hand finds hers and he squeezes it encouraging her to speak. She swallows and murmurs, " I need time to heal. I won't write to you nor send holos to keep in contact. If we see each other during the holidays I will act like I should in front of my family, but that is all."

Her terms seemed harsh but he agrees. She needs time without him around. Time to gather her strength to find herself and her path. He never thought there'd be a moment in time where he wouldn't share his thoughts with her. She would always be his best friend even from a distance.

" I think it's for the best too." His voice breaks and he tries to keep it steady. It takes everything he has to not confess his love for her. To tell her the truth of Katrina's blackmail, but it is pointless now. How can saying those three words stop her from hating him anymore than she does at this moment?

She nods and says, " I do wish the best for your studies at the Academy."

She turns to leave and he watches her. He can feel the strength of their bond fading in the distance. He sits up and reaches for her hand, but stops himself and instead says, " P?"

She turns her body away from the doorway and has his full attention. " Yes?"

He wants to remember her in this moment. Her wild eyes and hair falling into her face. Her red swollen lips staring back at him. He desires to say those words to her, but they won't change anything. He has to let her go. He chooses this path, but somehow he knows the force isn't done with them. Somehow he knows their paths will cross again and he'll have to deal with the consequences then.

"Anakin?" Her small voice allows him to crawl out of his thoughts and turn his attention back to her.

He swallows and says honestly, " I hope you find what you're looking for P."

She nods and tries to stay strong, but all she wants to do is run back into his strong arms and forget the world. Forget and damn the world. But she is old enough to see this isn't possible. It isn't easy to forgive him, nor should she tie herself down to anyone for awhile. She doesn't need anyone, only herself. With the last bit of strength she has, she turns then and presses the door panel. She doesn't say another word and exits the cottage not looking back, nor hearing the words that leave his mouth watching her exit his life.

Anakin watches her leave and whispers , " I love you Pad. I always will."

To Be Continued.