A/N: Hello, people! COVER ART BY: Niyuu_Trickster_Kat!
I don't own Naruto.
I have no beta.
ENJOY!
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TAGS for this Chapter: SWEARING.
-I've come to realize that Yuuki's perception of things is weird. When you get
to her explanation of the Lazy Man's Load counting as working smarter and
not harder, you'll see what I mean. It's my view on the subject and um... I
now understand why my mom looks at me so weirdly when I try explaining
it! I makes sense in my head, just when it comes out of my mouth!
"Happy birthday, Buggy!"
Yuuki placed a massive, brown mug that was too big for her to wrap her hands around, on Shino's section of his desk. In it was dark chocolate pudding that had been mixed with crushed chocolate cookies and whipped cream, then topped with a thick layer of crushed, chocolate cookies. Deep within were dozens of gummy bugs and sticking out, just as planned, were gummy worms.
On the mug in red lettering was [#1 Bug].
There was a wide grin on her face as she felt clever for her thinking. She'd wanted to get him the mug shaped like a bug but for some reason there were none and the weeks leading up to Shino's birthday didn't see a return of them since they weren't 'popular', so she settled for second best.
Of course she had to commission someone with a good hand to paint the words on the mug, but it was 500 Ryo well spent in her opinion.
"Thank you," the boy said quietly, looking at the gift that had a small layer of clear film over it to keep everything from spilling in case it ended up getting knocked over somehow. "...What is it?"
"A Dirt Cup."
"I've… never heard of such a thing before," he confessed, looking confused.
"I had a dream about it so I probably made it up. Pudding, cookies, and gummy bugs! If I had a mini planter and some sugar flowers it would look like something sold in a flower shop. Could even do a beach scene too but with different colors for pudding and cookies, and sea-related gummies used."
Shino's glasses did that little shine in the light thing they often did whenever he was thinking, and while she couldn't see behind the collar of his coat very well, she knew he was smiling.
"Thank you, Yuuki. I'll eat it during lunch."
The girl pumped a fist in victory and went to take her seat beside Shikamaru. All that was left was finding a gift for Choji! It would most likely be food related. They both shared a love for eating.
"Are you sure that this is the thing you want to go out with? Not something more manageable?"
Naruto beamed. "Yeah! If I get it all done without anyone noticing who did it, it will be the official proclamation of my amazing amazingness and how much everyone else sucks!"
Well that was true. Painting the biggest monument in Konoha in broad daylight was a tough job and he seemed determined to see his plan through. If he succeeded in his goal too, it would mean that the shinobi part of the population really needed to step up their training and receive a demotion. If a kid who wasn't even a shinobi yet could manage to pull one over on them, then it would be a sad day in history and an interesting tale to tell once he was Hokage.
Proving their general incompetence was going to get him in so much trouble though. If he was caught. That was the most important bit.
"And the execution?" she asked.
The blond leaned in closer so the details could remain private. "Well... the sun rises from the east and shines across the monument from left to right. My choice of clothing is useful because in the sunlight it's difficult to differentiate between me and the sun! It'll also allow me to use the glare of the sun to hide what's being done to the monument until it's completely covered and I'm long gone."
"But doesn't the sun fully cover the village in half an hour? You think you can do all that work you're planning in that time frame? The monument's huge." It would literally take hours of work for him to get the desired effect and she certainly wouldn't be able to help. Stealth wasn't her area of expertise in any way and she'd get him caught immediately. Maybe Hinata would be able to help him since she could be a lookout with her Byakugan?
The blond sent her an unimpressed look, making her feel as if she'd asked a very stupid question. Yuuki mentally went over what she said, but still didn't come up with anything wrong.
"Kage Bunshin, Yuuki," Naruto sighed with a fond shake of the head. "I can use clones to help me out and they'll leave no traces behind."
Oh right! Cool. Yeah, that would totally solve the problem in no time at all if he had like a thousand copies of himself out there doing the same thing.
"If you pull this off I will be impressed. Probably enough to get you a bowl of ramen."
His eyes lit up. "And I'll be in class the whole time so no one could accuse me without looking crazy! -ttebayo!"
True. He'd gotten so much better at planning out his hijinks ever since they'd become friends. All because she insisted on proper planning ahead of time so less work and effort were necessary in the moment of truth. She was a firm believer in 'work smart, not hard'. Why do extra work when it was unnecessary?
Of course, some might say this contradicted her belief in the Lazy Man's Load, but she disagreed. In her mind, making ten trips for groceries was extra work. Carrying all of her groceries at once made the trip home two times longer than it would normally be, but which was objectively better?
A single trip one way that took twelve minutes and left her arms sore for a few hours afterward, or ten trips back and forth, where the distance took six minutes each time? From the shop to her apartment was six minutes exactly at a speed-walk, and the trip would have to be repeated nineteen times if she broke up the grocery amount evenly.
The answer was obvious. Twelve minutes was better than a total of one hundred and fourteen minutes. The Lazy Man's Load therefore counted as working smarter and not harder. And in this essay she would-
Shikamaru lugged the bag his mother had given him that morning, along his way to the Academy. It was February 14th and it was that time of year. He prepared himself for the screeching of fangirls and fanboys and the wave of second-hand embarrassment that would come from watching Uchiha Sasuke once again refuse the offers of his fangirls, and then their reactions to such refusals.
It was mortifying being in the same class with people who acted like that. And they didn't even know the Uchiha! At all! Shikamaru, who wasn't even his friend, knew Sasuke better!
Professing to be 'desperately in love' with someone for years and going to great lengths to plan your fictional future wedding down to the letter, and still not knowing that they hated sweet foods and didn't want to date anyone until their life goal was accomplished, was one of the most embarrassing things the fangirls did.
Apart from the Uchiha's stalkers, Shikamaru at least knew his friends were chill and that they wouldn't be a drag to deal with.
His mother had handed him a large bag and in it were individual little baggies with names on them. "For your friends," she told him with a smile. "Tailored to each of them specifically based on what they like most."
Yuuki had said she'd be baking cookies to share and Choji had promised to bring in something from his family's restaurant. Hinata was going to handle the drinks which she promised would be great, and Shino promised to bring the utensils. That left Naruto who hadn't known what to bring since he was the poorest out of all of them. Eventually, the blond settled for bringing some of the prototypes of the board games Yuuki had recently come up with so they could play at lunch.
Apparently they'd be the testers to see if the ideas she'd come up with recently were marketable and worth handing over to the big men in the big chairs.
Choji appeared at his side on the walk over, already eating some kind of snack. "Mom sent me with some sushi and dango. It's taking everything in me to not eat anything yet. So I brought ten bags of chips to distract myself with."
Shikamaru couldn't help but snort fondly. "Never change."
The class was loud, and walking in showed nearly every girl had put in the extra effort today. Even Hinata, who was making eyes at Naruto, who was gazing at Sakura, who was drooling over Sasuke, who was staring at the blackboard with a look of utter suffering and resignation on his face. It was so pathetic that it was kind of funny! Every now and then he would chance a glance at Naruto, but it would be mistaken as him looking at the nearest fangirl and the whole group would explode in giggles.
Yuuki was… Yuuki. She didn't put much effort into anything if it wasn't absolutely required. And Shikamaru could respect that because he felt the same to an extent. She was sitting in her usual seat, knees pulled up to her chest so she could pull her sweatshirt over them to stretch it out. She had promised she'd be getting a new wardrobe upon graduation and told all of them to stop worrying about how her weight was going up and down and so long as she got her medication soon she'd be fine.
"Hey! You were almost late today," greeted Yuuki, legs stretching out so she could cross her ankles on the top of their desk. Her poor sweatshirt's elasticity was completely worn out by now and looked flimsy. She had grown into it completely so it no longer covered her legs. Meaning when she was sitting, it would slide up said mesh-covered legs, exposing the very short black shorts she wore underneath, and her pale thighs.
The Nara blinked hard to force himself to look away. Troublesome hormones. Even he was susceptible to them. He wasn't emotionally ready for that yet.
"I almost forgot the snacks for lunch," he said with a yawn. "My mom had to catch up with me, but she wasn't annoying about it."
"You'd forget your own ass if it wasn't attached."
"Maybe," he conceded.
It wasn't his fault that he wasn't an early riser. It took forever for him to shake off his somnolence and he refused to feel guilty for it. That was just how his body worked.
"Hope you like sugar cookies. I made pink ones to get into the mood and they're covered in white frosting."
Ugh! Pink. It wasn't like it was a bad color or anything, it was just the one of the ones pushed so much when it came to romance. Most of the girls were wearing it. Today was the day for dresses and perfume and lots of makeup that weren't usually pulled out any other day of the years. The room smelled terrible with all the clashing scents from the different fangirls and fanboys. Kiba and Akamaru were wearing scent-blocking face masks just to survive in it all, it was sad.
It never made sense to him how people only put in effort during this one day a year. Grand romantic gestures saved for a commercial holiday mean to beat money out of consumers. Shouldn't people be romantic during all days of the year? Shouldn't effort be put in all the time? It didn't always have to be honeymoon-level to be considered good and to be appreciated.
Iruka walked into the room, interrupting Shikamaru's thoughts as he held up a clipboard. "Settle down!" he called. "We're coming upon the graduation exam in a couple weeks. This means a massive review is ahead of us to prepare you all. I would very much like it if you all passed."
Shikamaru groaned. He absolutely hated end of the year reviews more than anything else. What a drag.
"You have to go and give Ino her gift," Choji told Shikamaru when their group settled for lunch out in the yard.
Yuuki snorted when the boy sent his best friend a look that explained just how he felt about such a task.
"Your mom will be even more troublesome than usual if you don't. She's going to be our teammate after all."
Shikamaru groaned and sprawled out even more on the ground. "I didn't ask to be her delivery boy. Can't someone else do it for me?"
The moment his eyes landed on Yuuki, she laid down next to him and said, "I don't like you that much, my guy. I would probably do it if it was someone else but not for her or Sakura. I don't like interacting with them and would prefer to keep to myself in their presence lest I say something incredibly rude and burn those bridges to the ground and below, so no bridges could be built on it again."
Naruto jumped up. "I'll do it! If she throws them at me or refuses to touch them because I touched them can I have them?"
"Mah! Sure."
As Naruto ran off, Yuuki looked over and asked quietly, "Would she really do that just because he was the one handing them over?" And did Yuuki need to be ready to bitch slap a clan kid? Because she would definitely do it! It would effectively burn that bridge she mentioned but for a friend's sake she would do it!
"Ino-san is self-centered most of the time and extremely judgmental. The likelihood of her doing such is higher than sixty percent. Why? Because she has yet to experience any kind of adversity in life that would cause her to wake up from the dream she lives in," remarked Shino without hesitation before Shikamaru could even answer.
When Neither Choji or Shikamaru protested Shino's assertions, Yuuki shrugged. Not her problem anyway. She wasn't going to be on the blonde's team in the future and whatever interaction they'd have would be minimal at best.
"Though to be fair, she might be changing a little," said Choji after a minute of consideration. "We had to have a meeting about behaving properly as Clan Heirs are supposed to, and how our actions individually will affect the families we have alliances with. Ino got a stern talking to, but we were all given a talk in the end. So I'm expecting her attitude to get better."
Naruto returned then, empty-handed but looking sad. "She only took them 'cause your mom made 'em. Made a big deal over you not delivering them personally and me being me."
What a bitch. Yet still not as much as Sakura was. Ino at least didn't lay hands on Naruto. That was her only positive.
"N-Naruto-kun, I'll shall mine with you," Hinata said, holding out the bag Shikamaru had brought for her, face pink with embarrassment.
"It's okay, Hinata! They each got stuff we like personally and I don't want you to miss out! But thanks for offering! You're awesome! -ttebayo!"
If her face got any more red in the next minute, Hinata would probably pass out on them. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened, but usually she was more subtle with it.
In the lull of the conversation, Shino reached out and placed a scroll on Yuuki's lap. "You expressed interest in Chakra Sensing in a small tangent last week so I located a scroll on it for you in my clan's library."
"Thanks!" She wasn't a Chunin yet and therefore couldn't get into the proper section at the library! This would be useful in furthering her plans! "You're the best!" She leaned over to wrap an arm around his shoulders in a little side hug. "I'll take good care of it and learn as quickly as I can so I can give it back."
Was she imagining the glare on Shikamaru's face? They were friends, so there was no need for glaring and negative feelings between them. Was her vision going?
"I reiterate, the requirements for the practical exams are as follows: proficiency at Konoha Sign Language and Morse Code, Henge, Kawarimi, Tree Walking, Water Walking, a Bunshin of some sort, Shuriken and Kunai precision, Genin-Level Taijutsu forms, and Level 2 Chakra Nature exercises," said Iruka as he gestured to the black board.
Ever since the introduction of Mission Prep, the Academy's expectations of their Genin had grown a lot. Sure, many other classes were taught as well, but those would be the most immediately helpful upon graduation and therefore were considered the most important.
Other things had been changed as well, outside of the Academy structure. No longer did the village do three Genin teams per graduation cycle. Now it was as many as they could pass. And if some showed more promise they might have a chance at an Apprenticeship under a Jonin-level shinobi.
Personally, he felt it was better this way.
Before he could continue on, the door to the room slammed open and in rushed a haggard-looking Chunin that Iruka was only somewhat familiar with. "Iruka-san! Come quick! Naruto's gone and sprayed graffiti all over the Hokage Monument!"
As one, the entire class turned to look at the blond who was sitting right there in front of them all, looking offended at being accused of such a thing.
But Iruka knew Naruto very well and knew how his mind worked. And also knowing that Naruto could now be in a hundred places at once doing who knows what at the time, he was certain Naruto had indeed done such a thing to a national landmark.
While Iruka could have ratted him out there and there, he decided that he was too impressed and would let the boy have his fun this time.
"And how could it possibly be Naruto?" he chose to say instead. "He's been in class since before homeroom. Did you catch him in the act perchance?"
The Chunin obviously wasn't expecting his word to be challenged as he stood there, mouth agape and looking mortified. "B-but, I mean, who else could've? He's the only- it couldn't be anyone else!"
Iruka found the situation humorous but kept a straight face. "So someone painted the monument without anyone seeing them despite how long it would no doubt take them, and you want me to believe that a child who isn't even a Genin, accomplished this task under the noses of our elite Anbu?"
It was impressive that Naruto didn't even fidget in annoyance at those words. His self-control had improved exponentially.
The Chunin flushed and sighed. "I suppose not. But what should I tell Hokage-sama?"
"I don't know, but it won't involve my student who hasn't been tardy once this term."
With no one taking his side, the Chunin took his leave, casting a glare of irritation at the blond in the middle row. Iruka waited until his footsteps left the floor as a whole before turning to Naruto and smirking. He said nothing, but the pre-teens and teens all noticed his demeanor and turned to the prankster who was smiling innocently in return.
"I'm sure there's nothing that could possibly implicate the person who managed such a feat," said Iruka with exaggerated sweetness. "It would be a shame that all that effort would be wasted by an amateur mistake such as leaving behind any tools."
A grin. "Oh, I'm sure the culprit was too much of a tactical genius for that, sensei! We shouldn't worry about them! I mean, they must be super talented if none of the shinobi noticed anything until they were long gone! They'll be fine! I have faith in them! -ttebayo!"
Naruto had his moments of utter brilliance and Iruka felt privileged to have taught him and watched him grow.
"Hello! How can I help you?"
Yuuki stood uncertainly in the doorway, holding the card that TenTen had given her for the shop.
TenTen, who had been at the counter but was fiddling with something, finally looked up, and grinned. "Hey! It's you! Finally coming to get some weapons?"
"I'm graduating soon," was Yuuki's response.
"We can set you up with an order and once you get your hitai-ate, you can come and pick it up that day if you'd like."
That was nice. "Sure. I was wondering if your shop can take a commission that's a bit abnormal compared to the usual shonobi weapons?"
A sketchpad was pulled out and plopped on the counter. "What to you have in mind?" TenTen asked as she grabbed a charcoal pencil from a cup by the register.
"Hatchets."
The older girl frowned in confusion and gave her a look. "For real? As in a smaller verse of an ax?"
"Yes."
"As a shinobi weapon?"
"Yeah. The uh... the orphanage wasn't a place capable of paying for entertainment for the kids, so we did what we could amongst ourselves. We had some hatchets and we'd have competitions to get out of chores, on who could throw them best. Turns out I'm really good at them, better than kunai or shuriken, and thought maybe they'd be a good choice, you know?"
Tenten hummed in consideration and asked. "Got any ideas on how they should look?"
"Nothing extravagant please, I don't need them to be pretty. I need them to do their job and not break. Chakra conducive because I have Katon Chakra and that would be a hell of an attack. And holes in the handles."
"Holes?"
"Yeah, I'm working on my chakra control again. I've finished the kinds taught in the Academy and a friend and I are doing Chakra Threads now, like Suna shinobi do for their puppets. My friend is a lot better than I am at it, but I had this idea of when I'm better and won't need ninja wire, that I could used the threads to keep the hatchets all linked and I could use the threads to retrieve them from great distances without be having to get them myself and thereby not putting myself in danger."
Hinata was already far better at Chakra Threads than Yuuki. She was even trying to tweak them in her own way to make them more offensive. The ideas she had come up with made Yuuki not want to get in a battle with her if at all possible in the future.
"Sounds cool. We could do that. Let me know what you think of this basic design I've thought up."
The next several minutes were spent discussing weight, Yuuki's preferred grip, and whether she was left or right handed. She also added the standard shinobi pack of ten shuriken and ten kunai to the order as well since they were a necessity.
"You can place half of the payment now and pay the rest upon pick up," said TenTen. "Or we can break it up into weekly payments if you'd like."
Yeah, it went a lot better than she thought it would. "Can we do weekly payments?"
A/N: Another chapter is done!
How was it? Let me know.
Ja ne! :D