Chapter 83

Destiny

Previously:

Allison reflected back on a recent conversation with Cameron….

It still disturbed her to think about it. In fact, much of what Cameron did disturbed her. She was not sure how Cameron could be so lost when everything was right in front of her. It must be the directives that Future John programmed into Cameron that seemed to cause all of this trouble.

Cameron looked over at Allison. She was with Vanna. She liked the love that the girls shared. It was clear they cared for each other deeply. There love was strong and could endure time and separation. That was love.

She watched them kiss before they parted. She wondered what that kiss was like. She wanted Vanna to kiss her like that before but things changed. Things always seemed to change when she wanted something. There was always something that got in the way. Future John erased her memories and sent her away. When she felt close to John, he found someone else to share with. That was bad enough. Why did he have to rub her face in it? Then there was Vanna, she could feel the love from her when she was around her. It radiated off of her. She planned to share with Vanna. She was sure it would have been beautiful. Future Allison was next. They grew so close. Cameron was afraid if she allowed Future Allison to consummate their love for each other she would have taken Future Allison and left with her for the past. They would have lived out their lives as 'sisters', then as 'mother and daughter' and eventually as 'grandmother and granddaughter'. Cameron thought about it and she could have timed it to replace herself in Red Valley and lived her life over again.

Allison saw the blank look on Cameron's face and came over to see if she was alright. She did not look it.

"Are you OK?" Allison asked.

Cameron looked at her with wide eyes.

"I am out of my time from where I belong." Cameron said. "I don't belong here in this time. My presence here is disrupting everything."

Allison knew this was a constant battle in Cameron's mind.

"If that is the case, then Vanna and I are as well." Allison said. "We too are both out of our time."

Cameron felt more lost that just out of her time.

"I don't belong anywhere." Cameron said.

Allison did not see why Cameron did not belong.

"Why not?" Allison asked. "You belong somewhere. Why not here? Why not now?"

Cameron felt she was in the way.

"I was not born in a timeline." Cameron said. "I was built to do evil, hurt and kill people. I pretend to be a female and have a husband. I am a machine, not a woman. I have taken the place of those who John should be with. The people time has chosen for him. I have disrupted the 'Natural Order'. I have ruined John's life and stunted his future."

Allison saw it all differently.

"Cameron, I don't get it. You have everything a girl could want and you want to give it all away, again?" Allison asked. "Why?"

Cameron knew she was a machine, not a woman.

"I don't." Cameron said. "I don't have anything. I am not supposed to have anything. I don't belong here. I am an aberration."

Allison could see so much there for Cameron.

"You have a husband who loves you and we are your family." Allison said. "We ALL love you, Cameron. There is no one more loved than you by everyone, both Human and Metal."

Cameron saw the effects of her battle damage.

"But I am not 'real'." Cameron said.

Allison touched Cameron's face and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You seem pretty real to me." Allison said. "You can feel that, I can feel that. That is reality."

Cameron previously saw what was underneath her sheath.

"I am not human." Cameron said.

Allison was aware of Cameron's understanding, compassion and love.

"I know of no one more 'human' than you, Cameron." Allison said. "You don't have to be human to be real."

Cameron was a 'mechanical human' to Allison.

There were still issues that troubled Cameron deep inside.

"I don't think I'm 'good enough'." Cameron said.

Allison could think of no one that was any better than Cameron.

"Good enough for what?" Allison asked.

Cameron thought back to the past - the future.

"I'm not good enough for John and for his future." Cameron said. "I'm not good enough for the future."

Allison thought she knew the real issue.

"Is that because Future John sent you away?" Allison asked.

A deep sadness filled Cameron.

"Yes." Cameron said as tears filled her eyes.

There was a deeper event in play here that Allison knew of.

"Wasn't a faction of the Resistance out to stop you or him because he was with you?" Allison asked. "Didn't he do it to protect you?"

The anti-Metal faction hated her because she was 'different'. They hated her because she was Metal. They didn't even know her but they hated her.

"I don't know." Cameron said.

Cameron did know.

"Cameron…." Allison started.

Allison knew that Cameron knew.

"John deserves better than me." Cameron said.

Allison wondered how that was possible. Cameron was the best.

"Who is better than you?" Allison asked. "Nobody is better than you."

Cameron looked at Allison. They held each others gaze.

"You are." Cameron said.

Allison felt that Cameron was superior to her in every way.

"I don't think so." Allison said.

It seemed that Cameron thought aloud.

"I need to go back and prevent myself from disrupting what was supposed to happen." Cameron said. "I am going to do that. I came back one night too early. I don't think I should have come back at all. Why can't I have my one wish?"

Allison started to get worried, especially about her 'one wish'. She read Cameron's poems and knew what Cameron's 'one wish' was. It was - never to have been built.

"Won't there be two of you then?" Allison asked. "If you went back and delayed yourself from coming back the night you did?"

"Yes." Cameron said.

That seemed like a bigger problem to Allison.

"So there would be two of you in this timeline? There would be two of you where we are at right now?" Allison asked. "How would that work?"

Cameron tilted her head slightly. The answer was easy.

"I would need to terminate my other self." Cameron said.

Allison doubted it would stop there.

"Something tells me if you did that we would only see Unit Two and Unit Three return, not you on that night." Allison said.

Cameron wished she would have stayed with Future Allison and Future John.

"I should have stayed in the future. MY John HERE would have moved on like I wanted. How it was meant to be." Cameron said. "I was meant to be - replaced."

Cameron looked at Allison as she held both of her shoulders.

"Like I want to happen, I want you for John, Allison." Cameron said. "THAT is how it is supposed to be. Why can't YOU understand? Why can't ANYONE understand? It is what I want for John. It is what must be."

Allison was really worried now. Cameron was about to 'melt down', again.

"Would Future John have moved on without you?" Allison asked.

Allison hoped to change the subject, off of HER.

Cameron was there when Future John held his pistol to the side of his head.

"No, he would have self terminated." Cameron said. "Future John would have killed himself."

Cameron did not want to talk about that. The image was fresh in her mind as if it just happened.

Allison felt sick after what she heard Cameron say. She needed to sit down.

Cameron noticed right away something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" Cameron asked.

She moved her hand to Allison's neck as she scanned her.

"Cameron, John, YOUR John was going to take his own life - I think." Allison said. "I walked in on him seconds before it almost happened. Your Glock was held to the side of his head."

There was a faint smile on Cameron's face. She'd planned for this.

"But you were there for him. You knew what to say." Cameron said. "You were able to reach him."

Allison knew that was true.

"Yes. How do you know?" Allison asked.

Cameron feared John would do the same thing she was sure that Future John would do.

"I asked you to be there for him as you slept before I left." Cameron said. "I knew you could save him."

Allison did not know that. She was asleep until the TDE woke her up.

"I don't remember that." Allison asked. "I only remember waking up to all your clothes in my room. That is why I went to see John, to bring back your clothes."

Cameron smiled. Everything worked as she'd calculated. That is everything but getting back to the base seconds after she left it as she'd planned. Allison served as her 'back up' plan for John.

"You were asleep." Cameron said. "I asked you over and over again to be there for John if I was not back. I whispered it in your ear thousands of times. I asked you to tell him: 'I love you, John, and you love me'."

Allison's mouth fell open.

"That is what I said to him. I said those exact words!" Allison said.

Cameron believed there was more to it.

"Allison, you do love John and he loves you too. You are each others 'destiny'. You must fulfill your fate together. It is the YOU in me which he wants and sees. Don't you understand? When he sees me, he is seeing you, just like Future John did."

Cameron looked distraught. She knew that was the only reason Future John kept her around. It was because she 'looked' like Future Allison.

"Allison, I have taken something that was not mine to take." Cameron said. "I was selfish and greedy. I ruined John before you could properly bond and mate. I took something special from him that should have gone to you. I am nothing more than an interloper."

Allison saw beauty where Cameron did not. It was a beauty that actually meant something. It was a beauty of purity and love.

"Cameron, John is YOUR Husband." Allison said. "You gave him something special that I no longer could have. The both of you did, that is what is special. You shared something special with each other. That is destiny and true love, if such a thing ever existed. Do you know how rare that is in ANY timeline?"

Cameron only knew she was an aberration to this timeline. Her continued presence in it stifled the 'Natural Order'. The longer she was here, the longer it would take for John to achieve his destiny with Allison and Vanna. She knew she needed to work harder on Jesse to help her. It was still a few years before Savannah would be ready to step up.

She decided to concentrate more time on Savannah. She wondered if she could MAKE Savannah the 'Human version' of herself. It was worth the try. That way John could have the best of both worlds, human and Metal.

Cameron knew there was also another. It was the younger version of Allison - Young Allison. It would be even longer before Young Allison would be ready. That would give her more time to act and train. She would start on Savannah now but it was Young Allison that John would accept one day. She would take her place at John's side as Future Allison had at Future John's side. Savannah would be with her and John as it was in her future.

The trouble was that it would all take time to do that. It would take years of training to make the girls in her image. She did not feel she had that time. She needed help.

Nobody would help her.

It seemed fate and destiny knocked on her door and called to her.

Destiny

I see the bus coming
The light is green
There is no bus stop
I step forward

The locomotive works hard
On the platform I stand
It is upon me
I 'slip' in front of it

A big rig is coming
He approaches fast
Our speed is 65 each
I drift across the line

It is cold and dark
The ship moves ahead
The chain is heavy around me
I step into the waiting sea

Sunshine on a long hike
A ledge high above a stream
Too close to the loose edge|
I 'stumble' over without a scream

Nobody