Herro! Chapter 6 only seems long because I wrote a lot about the meaning of this chapter at the end. This particular chapter is incredibly dense and very very very confusing. Also, as your FINAL warning, I suggest reading my first story, "Tuesday Morning," for a background of what's going on here. I allude to the story, a lot… I will also be changing the description to mention this story as a sequel. In any case, I hope you all so very much love this chapter. I think it is now my new favorite one. P

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Pink Camellias
06 – Rainy Day Woman
SethSolare

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"This looks depressing," Keitaro said from the railing of the laundry deck. He held a cup of morning coffee and stared out at the gloomy day. He watched the town from afar by himself and sipped away. The day was coated in a gloomy grey with the regular life of the town. It seemed that even the dark clouds over Hinata would not put an end to regular, every day life.

The previous night seemed to really put a damper on the mood in the house. Shinobu seemed pissed at him for running her boyfriend out of the house, which he denied. And Motoko obviously seemed disturbed from her date. "They all date weird guys."

"Well, good thing I got myself a good man," he heard a voice from behind. Naru joined him in the morning ritual. "And Shinobu's still mad at you."

"I didn't do anything! And did she even say she's mad at me? No. So it's not my fault," he said smugly.

"It's not your fault yet. And you were a horrible horrible guy-friend yesterday," she returned. Keitaro slumped over after hearing the words.

"It's not my fault that the guy's just iffy. I'm telling you," he nodded at his cleverness.

"What about Motoko? Take a guess about that one Kei-dini." She shot him a devilish glance.

"Oh, I have no idea. Who knows? Maybe she's being weird because her sister's coming. Or maybe that guy of hers is really a creep. Motoko could freak out about anything," he laughed.

Naru looked over at him in disbelief, "Wow, way to be mister considerate. She was practically about to cry, last night."

Keitaro quickly stepped away from her, taken aback by her sudden change to a caring demeanor. "I was only kidding," he stuttered.

"You really are clueless, you know that?"

Keitaro grumbled a bit before turning around and leaning on the rail. As he did, he saw Kitsune approach from the stairs.

"Evil looking day, huh?" she commented, joining the two with her own cup of coffee.

"Hey, Kitsune, where were you last night? I didn't even hear you come in," Naru asked. Keitaro walked toward the door that led back into the house, motioning that he would be getting another cup of coffee. When he disappeared, Kitsune took his place next to Naru.

"I, uh, hung out with Haruka for a while. Didn't do much else," she lied, avoiding talking about the night before. "But what's with Shinobu? She seems to be in a foul mood, this morning."

Naru sighed, "Keitaro acted like a jerk to Keisuke. He just left without saying a word. I'd be mad, too." The wind started to pick up a bit, blowing Naru's hair about. She tucked her hair behind her ear and closed her eyes, feeling the wind on her.

"Cute," Kitsune thought. "Got any plans for today?" she questioned Naru.

"Well, we were going to go out for a walk around town today. But, I guess we'll be staying inside. And, I think Su managed to unlock a few more characters in that fighting game she got a few days ago. Might just stick around and play that all day," Naru laughed.

Kitsune stayed silent. She wanted to talk to her best friend, but she didn't want to expose whatever was bugging her to someone as happy as Naru. She, more than anything, didn't want to be an emotional burden to anyone. Kitsune began staring at her half-filled cup of coffee, hoping that she would find some semblance of courage. But, of course, no courage came from the mug. Instead, she wanted to simply go back to her room and stay on the floor all day.

"So, what's wrong?" Naru asked bluntly, turning toward her best friend's face. Kitsune's sad expression alone was enough to give enough of a hint to her.

"What's the best part about your relationship with Kei?" Kitsune returned the bluntness.

"Best part?" Naru asked, taken aback. She calmed herself before answering, "Hmm, uh, well, I'd say it's just being with him. You know, like, being in love is the best part." Naru looked away from Kitsune and back out at the town below. "Of course, the extra stuff is why I stay," she laughed.

Kitsune couldn't find a bit of happiness in her to even fake a laugh with her friend. "Then, I wish I had what you had," she whimpered. "I wish I could love someone. I want to stop wishing I was in relationship and actually be in one."

Naru smiled at her friend. "Then go out and get one. I mean, don't take me as an example. I was total flake when it came to Kei. But, I know you, and you're not one to simply give up."

"It's not that simple, Naru," she said, dipping her head down between her extended arms. "What if – this person – is taken? And, no, it's not Kei," she said with a bit of a sniff.

Naru looked back over at Kitsune, and placed a hand on the back of her neck. Her hands calmly played with Kitsune's short hair. The soft touch made the girl shiver a bit. "I guess it is more complicated," Naru said.

"Can I tell you a secret? Something that happened that I haven't been able to tell anyone except Haruka," she asked in a whisper. She turned her head over to Naru who simply nodded a response.

"I kissed Motoko a few years back," she admitted.

Naru's eyes widened at the thought. "Motoko? She kissed a girl? Kitsune would, but Motoko? No way!" Naru's internal voice shouted out. "But wait, doesn't Motoko have a boyfriend now?" And as she asked herself this, it finally dawned on her what the problem was. And from her lips escaped a quick, "Oh."

"Yeah, see? That's the thing," Kitsune said, turning back towards the ground and sinking her head back down into her arms.

"Did you talk to Motoko about it last night? I mean, she's seemed pretty deep in thought since she woke up this morning. More than she usually is, in fact." Naru looked up at the sky, trying to simply find a place to look that wasn't the town anymore. But as she did, she felt a raindrop fall on her nose. She noticed Kitsune look up as well.

Kitsune let a groan and handed her half-empty cup to Naru, "I'm going to stay out here in the rain before going to the teahouse. I haven't played in the rain in a long time," Kitsune said letting out a smile.

"And it usually cheers you up," Naru said, taking the cup from her. "Just don't stay out too long or you might get sick."

"Yes, mother," Kitsune responded, turning away. And as she said this, the rain started coming down quickly. From behind, she heard a quick squeak of shoes and a loud thud on the ground.

"Aww, crap!" Keitaro said, as his new cup of coffee spilled all over him with the rain mixing in.

Naru walked over to him and helped him up. "You silly boy," she giggled. Then, she picked up his empty mug and led him back inside the house. As they left, Keitaro looked behind him at Kitsune, hunched over the railing. "She'll be here by herself, Kei," she whispered in his ear. And the two entered the house

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Motoko walked through the drenched town with her black umbrella. Her sandals splashed through the puddles of water making a swishing as she moved her feet. Each drop of rain sounded on her umbrella. Through closed eyes, she attempted to find solace in whatever horror she had made for herself the day before. But even trying as hard as she could, she had no will or desire to forget yesterday.

"Yumi was so kind. He's perfect. He's absolutely perfect," she thought. Raising her umbrella a little, she looked up at the sky. Droplets of rain tapped on her face as she closed her eyes. "I gave him away for her."

She continued walking, thinking of what she had done. True, Yumihiko was indeed a wonderful person. As a man, he was a stunning example. As a boyfriend, he was more so. Motoko fell in love with him. She was wholeheartedly in love.

But when she kissed him, she felt little. There was no pain, no heart, no love. It was only a kiss, nothing more than an expression. It was simply an action she did with no intention. There was no compulsion to want more when it was over. There wasn't a desire to feel his breath again.

Motoko opened her eyes again, confused. "I want to love him. But, I am only in love. Infatuated. And I don't even know him. I only want him because he's pretty and nice. That's why I want to love him." She tilted her umbrella back over her head and felt her head and shoulders droop.

"But I don't love him." The words came out as a bare whisper. Her own admission of the truth was inaudible amongst the heavy raindrops. Yet, the acknowledgment of the statement dumbfounded her. "Am I lying? Do I really not love him?"

She walked onward without any intent or direction. Similarly, her mind wandered aimlessly. "Didn't I like him? Isn't he what I imagined?" she asked herself. "If there was anyone that could be called the perfect man, he would definitely be it. I can't even force myself to love him."

She stopped again, recognizing the familiar ground. A slightly wooded area was to her right. A gravel pathway was laid at her feet. And, as she glanced to the direction of a cough, she saw Yumihiko, smiling.

"I don't suppose you've changed your mind," he said happily.

Shocked that she had even ended up there, she immediately bowed before him. "I'm very sorry about last night," she said with a sob.

"Why're you crying? Seriously, you were the one that dumped me," he laughed.

"I feel like I owe you an explanation."

"It was a date, and my treat, at that. You don't owe me a thing, Motoko," he said. "But if you really want to pay me back, you could walk me home. I didn't think it would be this rainy today and I didn't bring an umbrella."

She looked back up at him and, indeed, his clothes were soaking wet already. She moved over to him, holding her umbrella up for him to stand underneath. He then walked onward to his house with Motoko at his side.

"So, what're crying about? I mean, it most certainly wasn't because of me, right?" he asked.

"No, Yumi! It's not because of you at all! Something else," she responded, with her last phrase calm. She blushed at the thought of what she could say next. No matter how she worded it, the question was embarrassing to ask. "I might as well be blunt, but how do you know if you love someone?"

"Wow, that is pretty blunt," he mused. "Well, let's see. Love. You know when you can't stop thinking about that person. When everything is sad, you look to that person for happiness. And, for when everything is worse than that, you look back at one time in your life when you were utterly happy, and that person was in it.

"You don't exactly know why you love that person. You just do. No matter how weird or awkward it might be, you're almost compelled to love that person. And no matter what you do, you can't get away from it." He looked at her and stopped. "I bet you're not talking about me, either."

"Huh? What do you mean?" she asked nervously.

"Well, considering how nervous you were kissing yesterday, you probably wouldn't have the courage to talk about these things with the person you actually love. That would be too forward of you. And, secondly, only friends, not lovers, get this conversation." He smiled at his own wisdom. "So who is this about?"

Then, his eyes widened for a second as if he had some great revelation. "You cheated on your boyfriend with me, didn't you?"

"What? NO!" she yelled. "I didn't even kiss a boy until-" and then she shut her mouth, covering it up with her hand.

Yumihiko's expression turned from serious to silly. "I guess you must be telling the truth," he laughed.

Her grip loosened on the umbrella, weakened by his words. "I'm in love with you," she admitted, forcing the words out of her mouth.

And for once, the unflappable Yumihiko turned on a blush for himself. "Really?" he asked. His expression was that of disbelief. He let a bit of laugh with an uncomfortable smile. But the smile slowly faded. "But you don't actually love me."

"What? No. I do! I do love you," she whimpered, clinging onto him. She hugged him, tightening her hold him. Her grip on the umbrella was gone entirely as it hit the ground. He returned her hug, gently taking hold of her.

"No, you don't," he smiled with droplets of rain hitting his face. "You just like me because I asked you out," he said matter-of-factly.

Motoko's face was drenched in droplets of water. It was only by the saltiness of it all that she knew she was crying.

She knew, most of all, that she was lying to him.

"You had to force yourself to say that. But if you really loved me, you'd really be forced not to say it. If you loved me, you'd be spending all your time trying to figure out how to hide it," he said, running a hand through her wet hair.

"No, it's not true."

"You should be with the person you really want."

She looked up at him. She looked up at his forgiving face, his kind eyes. "He's exactly like Seta," she thought. The example of perfection, Yumihiko and Seta, was in human form.

"Being in love is different from actually loving someone," he continued. "Being in love comes from, you know, desire."

Motoko looked down and away from him. She wanted it to be him. She wanted her real love to be him more than anything. She wanted it to not be Kitsune. And his kind advice, his own forsaking of something with her for her own happiness, made her want him more.

"But from personal experience, the person that you love is someone that you never expect. The one person in the world that means anything to you is nothing like the person you imagined yourself being with. The person that you need in your life was someone you might've not even wanted. But, really, no matter how hard you try, you can't live without them. No matter how much you don't want to admit it, you do, indeed, love them"

Motoko huddled herself in his grasp. She could feel her legs weaken, her throat tighten. She began to cry uncontrollably. She heard herself gasping for air with each passing second. "I'm so weak. I'm a coward. I'm the worst person in the world."

But, then, she felt soft lips on hers. Through breaths, she could sense him once again. But the kiss was quick, fleeting. It lasted no longer than a second. In her ears, she heard him say, "Friends?" She nodded in response before picking up her umbrella.

She pushed the umbrella into his hands and bowed before him. "Thank you. Thank you for listening to me. You're such a wonderful person and I hope you find someone far better than me that loves you," she said, feeling herself smile genuinely.

"I hope I do, too," he said, taking her umbrella. With a big smile, he turned away from her and went home. Likewise, she turned back toward the Hinata house and began running as fast as she could.

"He's the sweetest person I've ever met." She cried happily.

- -

Kitsune left the dorm with no umbrella. It was only a short walk from the house to the teahouse, but the downpour seemed to soak her instantaneously. She hadn't even changed from her wet clothes from the deck. "Good thing I at least keep clothes in Haruka's room."

She trudged through the heavy storm, wishing that the day would simply end. It wasn't even afternoon and the day had already turned into a lost cause. She didn't feel like working. She didn't feel like walking through the rain. She just felt like sleeping the day away until tomorrow when she could try again.

In her mind, she replayed Motoko's kiss with Yumihiko over and over with each passing step. Each time, she remembered how horrible she felt. She remembered how distant she was from Motoko. And though she felt closer to her than anything, she also felt miles away.

"For all the years that we've known each other, talking about things like this should be easier. I should be able to tell her," Kitsune thought.

Yet with all her wishing, she had nothing. Her life felt over. Even the glorious rain felt like a taunt from the universe, a flood on her emotions.

"We've been friends forever. We talk. We laugh. We live together. And in the end," she paused in her mind. "It's not enough. It's not enough."

She replayed her last kiss ever, her kiss with Motoko, again in her mind. "I know she knew I loved her. I wasn't replacing her for Kei. No. She knows I love her. She knows."

She reached the bottom of the steps and turned toward the doorway of the teahouse. As she entered, she removed her soggy shoes with every intent of sleeping in Haruka's room. But, from outside, she heard her name. A familiar voice called her, "Kitsune!"

She turned to find a familiar form, waiting for her in the rain. She was coated from head to toe by water. Her dark hair was strewn about her shoulders in wet clumps. The clothes clung to her body, accentuating her beautiful features.

And the figure approached. She came closer to Kitsune with a smile on her face, not a care in the world. When she made it to the doorway, she pulled Kitsune out into the rain. Kitsune's bare feet felt the puddles of water rush between her toes, the stone rubbing at her soles.

"Motoko?" she asked, knowing well enough who it was.

Motoko looked at the other woman with all the kindness in her heart. Water ran down their faces. The cold rain mixed with Motoko's warm, happy tears.

Then, taking both of her hands, she clasped Kitsune's cheeks and brought her lips to hers.

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A nice climatic scene. I had intended for there to be more story of Su, Shinobu, and Keisuke, but it didn't seem to mix in really well. In the end, their scene and dialogue interrupted what is, to me, a very important theme of this story.

The conversation between Yumi and Motoko is actually a paraphrased conversation between my friend and me. We talked about how you don't marry the person that you're in love with, you marry the person that you simply love. You can fall in love many times, but being in love is more of a link. The person you love is your other half, not the person you have the most common in with. The person you love is your air, your water, your food. Everything about that person, no matter how much you wish it wasn't them, you need in your life.

And, considering that it's two women, it's stress the idea more. Motoko is such a traditional person. She's conservative and very family oriented. But she knows, deep down, the person that means the most to her is the person that's loved her no matter how many ways she could be rejected

Of course, the distinction is hard to make. Sure, the person you love is the person you're in love with. It's very vague really. And I had a hard time conveying the point. My friend had a hard time conveying the idea in words, too. It's such a difficult distinction to make, albeit a very important one. And even then, the meanings are so vague that you can still use them interchangeably and no one will know what you're really talking about. But, I hope you guys can understand what Yumihiko was saying. If you do, then I very much appreciate it.

On another note, Kitsune's love for the rain is a small vestige of me. If you haven't played in the rain in a while, I seriously suggest doing it. You have NO idea how fun it is. And if it's really raining hard, tilt your head back, eyes closed. Think of the person you love. It'll make you feel right as… well… rain.

SS