A/N: Alright I've barely started on the next chapter (the eleventh one, actually) but I'm not sure when it'll be done, so I thought I'd post this. And well...sorry for the ending...
Emma couldn't breathe.
Sure, it wasn't her own flesh and blood in the hospital. But she was shaken. Liam, the man who helped her get over herself and talk to Killian after she had thought he had given up on her, was in the hospital. It sounded like Killian didn't know how bad Liam was (he only muttered something about surgery as he walked to the bathroom for his shower) and Emma hoped for his sake that Liam would be fine. She didn't know if she'd be able to help him if everything went to shit and he was gone.
But Emma wouldn't leave him. No, she couldn't do that. She'd be with him like he was with her when she told him about her parents and how she only hoped he'd be there when she told him about Neal.
(Not that she was planning on telling him yet. But Emma wasn't dumb; she knew it'd come up sooner or later.)
Emma sighed as she wrenched her hand through her tangled hair, knowing that she might as well get dressed while Killian was showering. Her heart ached as she walked to her dresser, remembering the devastation in his eyes. She knew that if Liam passed, Killian would be irreparably broken.
Emma only hoped that she'd be able to help him pick up the pieces.
Emma plucked out a pair of denim shorts (since it was nearly August) and a blue, button down blouse. As she unbuttoned the top two buttons of the shirt, she heard rapid knocking at her front door. Emma grumbled because she just knew it would be her landlord, even if rent wasn't due until Monday and it was way too early to deal with his creepy ass comments about how he could completely forget about her rent if she'd just come over and-
Emma shook the repulsive mental image from her mind and walked down the entry hallway, taking a deep breath as she opened the door and oh shit-
"So you are still alive," Ruby commented, her arms crossed over her bulging belly. "Thought you fell off the face of the earth or something."
"Ruby," Emma said and looked over her shoulder to see a demure and timid Mary Margaret. "Mary Margaret. Hi."
"Hi? Hi? Is that all you're gonna say to us?" Ruby asked, clearly incensed by Emma's aloofness toward them. "We haven't seen you in a month, Emma."
Emma sighed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I know. I've been just been busy. But right now is really not a good time, guys."
"Horse shit," Ruby grumbled as she pushed her way past Emma, stepping into the apartment. "We're talking now."
Emma sighed again and looked at Mary Margaret, who shrugged apologetically. "Fine."
Emma allowed Mary Margaret step inside as she stroked her growing pregnant belly and Emma shut the door loudly. She was happy that it sounded like Kilian was done with the shower at least; she did not want to deal with Ruby and Mary Margaret accusing her of another one night stand, even though that's precisely what it usually was.
Emma stood by the archway as Ruby and Mary Margaret stood over by her bed. Mary Margaret's hands were folded in front of her and Ruby's were placed on her hips-two significantly different stances with one shared meaning: we need to talk. Emma knew this was going to be a long talk and she really did not have the time for this.
"Where the hell have you been?" Ruby asked and Emma wasn't surprised that Mary Margaret didn't speak up-she wasn't one for confrontation.
"I've been busy," Emma responded simply, tucking her hands into her pockets.
Ruby rolled her eyes. "Look, we've already talked to Henry." Fear gripped its cold hand around Emma's heart. Did he tell them about Killian? "He said he hasn't seen you for a month either and we know that's not like you. And it definitely sounded like he was hiding something. I could freaking smell it on him."
Emma was so fucked. Even though Henry didn't tell them about Killian (which she'd have to freaking kiss him for), they were definitely onto her. They knew something was up, even though it wasn't entirely unheard of that she would drop off the map for a month at a time when work got to be too much. Emma's heart pounded because she knew she had to tell them, but standing in front of them now, Emma couldn't find the strength to do it.
"I know, I know. Work's gotten hectic," Emma repeated and she did not like the way Ruby's eyes widened.
"Emma, work is always hectic for you!" Ruby exclaimed, wrenching her hands through her hair, clearly aggravated by Emma's excuses. "If you don't want to hang out with your pregnant best friends, fine! Just tell us so we don't look like fucking idiots trying to get ahold of you!"
Emma's eyebrows furrowed. "You think I don't want to hang out with you two?"
"Clearly you don't. Which I get because you don't want to surround yourself with people who are pregnant and have soulmates, which you obviously have issues with," Ruby responded, taking a deep breath and Emma's heart broke at how Ruby's eyes were welling up. Ruby never got emotional and it always tore at Emma whenever she saw any slight show of emotion.
But it was Emma's turn to get angry. "Are you two fucking serious?! You two have been my best friends since freshman year! You two have been with me through everything-the good, the bad, that awful period of time when I had bangs"-Ruby and Mary Margaret laughed and yeah they definitely should-"So why should everything suddenly change because you both have everything that you want? All I want is for you guys to be happy. I promise that I'm not avoiding you two because I'm sick of the pregnancy talk-even though I totally am."
"So why have you been avoiding us?" Mary Margaret asked, her voice full of sadness and wow Emma really shouldn't have done this to two pregnant women, with all their hormones.
Emma sighed and scratched the back of her head in a way that made her know she was spending way too much time with Killian. She knew she needed to just tell them because Killian was here, undoubtedly hiding in the bathroom, and she even told him last night that she would do it. Emma couldn't keep delaying the inevitable as it was staring her right in the face.
She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, turning her head toward the bathroom door. "You can come out."
Emma saw the confused looks on Ruby and Mary Margaret's faces as Emma said the words, but they glanced over to the bathroom door as it cracked open. Emma's heart pounded as Killian slowly stepped out of the bathroom, his hair still wet from the shower and neatly dressed back in his clothes from yesterday. Jesus she was always struck by how fucking attractive he was.
"You're…" Ruby began saying and her voice trailed off and yep Emma expected this.
Killian scratched that spot behind his ear and God how was he so fucking adorable but fucking hot at the same time? "Yeah, I am."
"Holy shit," Ruby gasped out and Emma eyed the heaving of her chest and the way she swayed unstably on her feet. "Holy shi-i-i-i-it."
"Jesus, Ruby," Emma said as she stepped over to her friend, gripping her arms and slowly angling her over to the corner of Emma's bed. She did not want a pregnant woman to be fainting in her apartment, especially this far along. "You need to sit."
Ruby sat safely on the corner of Emma's bed, her head dropping into her hands. She sneaked a peek between her fingers every so often, as if she couldn't believe that Killian Jones was standing in front of her, which Emma completely understood.
Ruby was the one who made Emma watch Never Landing on that fateful night. They cuddled together on the couch at Ruby's place (where she had just moved into with Victor a week or so previously) and…well, they both became quickly obsessed with the plot. Just the plot. (Ugh, who was she kidding? It was the hot-ass guys on the show). They pulled Mary Margaret into it the next week and it became a regular thing between the three of them-go over to someone's apartment and watch the show while drinking wine and eating crap (which obviously they couldn't exactly do anymore).
"Ohmygod, this is real," Ruby mumbled out, her eyes peeking over her fingers and her voice muffled from her hand. "Ohmygod, you cannot surprise a pregnant lady like this, Emma."
"You're the one who surprised me," Emma quickly reminded her friend, rubbing her friend's shoulder as Ruby breathed slowly to rest her heart.
"Emma, I don't mean to be blunt, but why the hell is Killian Jones in your apartment?" Mary Margaret asked, looking over at Emma and she could see the curiosity in her stare.
Emma looked back at Killian, who was still standing awkwardly by the bathroom door. She knew she needed to tell them now, but her heart was pounding and Ruby was literally on the verge of going into labor if she dealt with any more surprises-
"You can do it," Killian spoke with a smile on his face, holding his pajamas in his hands.
Emma took a deep breath and without wavering, she said-
"I mean, Christ, Emma had dreams about you. This is insane," Ruby decided to speak up and holy hell Emma was going to shrivel up and die-
"Ruby!" Emma hissed at Ruby because Killian did not need to know that. And now she could hear the low snickering coming from Killian and this was not happening. "What the hell?"
"I mean you two fucked so-"
"We did not fuck!" Emma added, running her hand through her hair. "He's only over here because he's my soul mate, for fuck's sake!"
And holy shit, Emma could hear a pin drop in the silence that followed.
Ruby and Mary Margaret stared at her with dumbstruck faces, their mouths slack-jawed and eyes wide.
"He's your soul mate?" Mary Margaret gasped out, her hand falling onto her pregnant stomach.
Emma simply nodded and had to quickly reach out for Mary Margaret as her knees gave out. Emma did not want to have two pregnant women collapsing at her apartment, so she helped Mary Margaret sit beside Ruby on her bed.
"Breathe, you two," Emma told her friends, kneeling down to their level as she glanced back at Killian, who was shuffling on his feet.
"You have a soul mate?" Mary Margaret asked again and Emma sighed, rubbing her eyes as she looked back over to Mary Margaret.
"Yes," Emma replied, placing her hands on her legs.
"When?" Ruby asked, clearly as dazed as Mary Margaret from the news.
Emma sighed and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Remember when I left that Target in a huff 'cause you two were pissing me off?"
"About the whole soul mate thing? Yeah," Ruby responded and Emma wanted to laugh at how ridiculous her life was. Not ten minutes after arguing over soul mates, Emma happened upon hers.
"Some paparazzi knocked me over just outside of there," Emma spoke, a smile spreading on her face at the memory.
"And I helped her up," Killian finished the memory and Emma looked over her shoulder at him, meeting his smile with her own. "And life gained a whole new meaning after that."
Emma heard sniffling and she turned to face back to her two friends, who were now tearing up at hearing the story. Emma should've expected two pregnant women to cry over hearing this news, especially with how Emma had fought the idea for so long.
Emma sighed. "Guys, please don't cry."
"We're just so happy," Mary Margaret told Emma, wiping away a tear from her cheek. "We never thought it would happen, with how stubborn you are."
Emma snorted. "Well, it happened. But I wasn't kidding when I said now wasn't the best time. I gotta head out with him, but we'll talk-"
Killian cleared his throat from behind Emma and she looked back over at him. "I know you three have a lot to talk about, so I should just be going now."
Emma stood from her spot on the floor and stepped toward him as Killian held out the pajamas to her. "Are you sure?"
Killian nodded and scratched that spot behind his ear. "Yes. I'll see you sometime this week?"
"I'll see you in a few minutes. I'll come to the hospital straight from here, alright?"
And she didn't expect to see the way Killian's eyes shift from sadness to adoration. It was as if Killian didn't expect her to come along, now that Ruby and Mary Margaret had arrived. But no, she wasn't going to let Killian go through this alone. When she was young and had dealt with her own share of pain and struggle, all Emma needed was someone to help her. And she wanted to help him, more than she would've ever admitted it to anybody.
"Thank you, lass," Killian said softly, his voice low and husky, as if he had been touched by Emma's insistence.
"It's not a problem, Killian," Emma responded, smiling at him because God the way he looked at her made her feel as though she could conquer the world.
Killian stepped away to leave the apartment, but Emma gripped his shirt before he was too far away and pulled him back, pressing a gentle, but insistent kiss on his lips. Emma listened to the gasps coming from Mary Margaret and Ruby, from their places on the bed, but she swept her tongue across Killian's bottom lip and she no longer cared about anything else.
Killian pulled back slowly, his eyes shut because he was just as fucked as she was. "I'll see you soon, love."
"Of course," Emma responded as she released Killian's shirt and let him walk out of the apartment.
The door slammed shut, echoing throughout the apartment as Emma turned back to Mary Margaret and Ruby, who continued to stare at her with their jaws dropped. Emma scratched the back of her head and put her hand into her pocket, waiting for her friends to just snap out of it and say what they wanted to say.
"Holy shit," Ruby muttered, her eyes shooting up to Emma's face.
"You've said that already," Emma responded, sighing and running a hand over her face. "Come on. Say what you guys want to say."
"Well, what I wanna know is why were you going to the hospital with him?" Mary Margaret asked, slowly standing from the bed.
"That's your big question?" Emma questioned, raising her eyebrows and huffing. "Well, his brother was in a car accident this morning and we were gonna go over there to see what was going on because Killian is freaking out."
"Then why didn't you go?! This can wait!" Mary Margaret exclaimed, rushing over to Emma and placing her hand over her pregnant belly again.
"You're over here now, so let's just get this over with. Killian insisted."
(Even though Emma wanted to do nothing more than to rush to the hospital and remain at his side.)
"Well, I have a pressing question," Ruby said as she stood from the bed and slowly walked over to Emma and Mary Margaret. In a stage whisper, Ruby asked, "Is he a good kisser?"
Emma smacked Ruby's upper arm as both Ruby and Mary Margaret began laughing. "God dammit, you two."
"But really though. Is he?" Ruby asked again as her laughter calmed down.
Emma huffed and she could feel the blush beginning to rise onto her cheeks. Ruby began laughing again as she pointed at Emma's face.
"You are bright red! He is a good kisser, isn't he?!" Ruby asked, clearly excited about embarrassing Emma to no end.
"Yes, alright! He really is!" Emma exclaimed in a huff and Mary Margaret and Ruby clapped excitedly.
"Now, is he a good fuck?" Ruby asked and Emma smacked her arm again. "Alright! Fine! Sorry!"
"We haven't had sex yet, Ruby," Emma replied and she felt another blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Even though I kinda jumped his bones last night."
In unison, Mary Margaret and Ruby's jaws dropped open, in a way that was really almost comedic.
"Spill. Now," Mary Margaret squealed out, her eyes lighting up in a way Emma hadn't seen in quite some time.
Emma sighed and felt her blush darken. "Well, he said something last night that made me realize that he really cared. That even though he's this huge celebrity and I'm a girl that can barely afford rent for my studio apartment, he cares about me and doesn't see me as someone below him. And so, I kinda got overwhelmed and kinda just jumped him."
There was more to it than just that, but Emma didn't want to overshare, even if she'd been close friends with these girls for almost ten years. It was the way he looked at her when he thought she wasn't looking; it was the way he made her laugh so hard that her stomach hurt; it was the way her heart soared every time she saw that she had a text from him. It was everything and Emma wanted more.
"And you didn't fuck?" Ruby asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. He said that given our past records with one-night-stands, that he wanted this to be different," Emma explained, tucking her hands into her pockets. "And I agreed."
She heard a sniffle and it looked like Mary Margaret had begun crying again. Emma took a hand from her pocket and reached for Mary Margaret's hand, squeezing it gently as Mary Margaret laughed the tears away and wiped her cheeks.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Freaking hormones," Mary Margaret mumbled and met Emma's eyes. "I'm just so happy. It's been a long time coming and it's finally here and you deserve this so much, Emma. You always have, even though you always pushed against it."
"And that's why I needed time from you two," Emma began saying, because she knew she needed to explain the long break to her closest friends. "Because you both know how much I resented the whole soul mate thing and I just needed time away from you two because I knew both of you would be so excited and I just had to get through it on my own, without hearing 'congratulations.' Only Henry and Elsa know and they understood how I felt. I was just afraid that you two would've ignored how I was feeling about it and would've just wanted to throw me a party or something."
Mary Margaret sighed and rubbed her thumb across Emma's hand. "As much as it pains me to say it because I missed you so much, you were probably right in taking that time for yourself. But now that you're back, can we go back to our regularly scheduled Wednesday lunches?"
Emma laughed and smiled and God she missed her friends. "Of course."
Emma quickly hugged Ruby and Mary Margaret, wrapping her arms around their waists and her stomach bumped into the large bellies of her pregnant friends. "Oh but, you two cannot tell anybody."
Mary Margaret jumped back and placed a hand over her chest, as if Emma just told her that she had to shave her head bald. "I can't tell David?"
"You can tell him that I have a soul mate. But you cannot tell anyone who it is. We're trying to keep it on the down low until we want to come out with it," Emma explained, looking over Ruby and Mary Margaret. "It's only been a month, guys. Give us time to get to know each other before the entire world is in our business."
Ruby nodded. "Totally understandable. I get it. I will take it to my grave."
"And that means you don't tell Granny who he is," Emma told Ruby and Ruby huffed.
"Fi-i-i-ine."
"Now, if you guys don't mind, I gotta get to the hospital," Emma reminded her friends and she walked over to the closet and gripped the leather jacket Killian gave her just after their date.
Ruby's eyes widened as she pointed to the jacket. "Is that-"
"Yes, it is," Emma responded with a sly smile as she led her friends from the apartment.
"Oh we have so much to talk about, bitch," Ruby said as she followed Emma and Mary Margaret out of the apartment. "We're splitting a cab so we can talk."
And that's all Ruby and Mary Margaret did as they rode with Emma toward the hospital. They asked every single question they could think of about her newfound relationship with Killian, most of which Emma couldn't even answer, as they were definitely personal questions. But as the cab drove closer to the hospital, Emma could feel her stomach churning.
She was scared.
It wasn't even a family member that was in the hospital. Shit, Emma had only met the guy twice. But, Liam had been a huge part of Killian and her finding their way back to each other when life was pushing them apart. Emma couldn't even imagine the fear coursing through Killian right now (although she could see an inkling of it when he was at her place, looking as scared as a child whose world was falling apart). She didn't want Killian to be afraid-she wanted him to feel strong, as though he could face whatever may come.
But she knew how it felt to have fear grip her heart tight, so Emma couldn't expect Killian to feel any differently as she did.
But Emma swore to herself that she would be there for him, if Liam only had a mere scratch or if things came out for the worse.
She took a deep breath as she entered the nearly empty waiting area, spotting Killian with his head in his hands and his leg jiggling wildly as his nerves take over. She felt tears prick behind her eyes because God it already hurt her so much to see him in pain like this. She noticed a woman sitting beside him with a small baby wrapped in her arms and Emma assumed that it must've been Jenny, Liam's wife and soul mate and God this hurts.
Emma stood awkwardly by the archway that led into the waiting room, not wanting to disrupt the personal moment between him and his sister-in-law. But, just then, the woman looked up at Emma and nudged Killian with her elbow. And he looked up and Emma's heart wrenched because there's so much pain.
And in just a moment, Killian was standing up and strode over to where Emma was standing, wrapping his arms around her waist and burrowing his face into her neck. Emma instantly wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair at the nape of his neck and she could feel him shaking from the anxiety of Liam's accident.
"You came," Killian whispered out and her heart twisted at the hurt behind his tone.
"Of course. I told you it'd just be a minute," Emma replied, pressing a kiss to his temple and she felt Killian relax in her arms.
"I just wasn't sure you'd still come. I thought you'd get caught up with your friends," Killian murmured and Emma swore she could hear him smelling her hair. But she couldn't find a problem with it.
Emma shook her head and pulled away, placing her hands on either side of Killian's face, stroking the apples of his cheeks as she said, "I told you I'd be here. I wouldn't leave you to deal with this on your own. Unless you want to, of course."
Killian shook his head and his lips thinned into a line, dropping his forehead against hers. "No. I want you here."
"You must be Emma," Emma heard and looked around Killian, dropping her hands from his face and seeing the woman who was sitting beside him earlier.
Emma took in the woman's bright red hair and strikingly green eyes, and the small bundle in her arms. "Yes, I am."
The woman smiled weakly at Emma and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm Jenny, but I'm sure you already knew that. It's nice to finally meet the woman Killian has talked all about."
Emma giggled at the way a blush filled Killian's cheeks as he scratched that spot behind his ear. "Bloody hell, Jenny."
Jenny laughed softly, but then Emma saw Jenny's eyes tear up. Jenny sniffled and wiped her eyes to stop any tears from falling. "Sorry."
"No, it's okay. Any word on how he is?" Emma asked gently, wrapping her hand around Killian's, lacing her fingers through his and God it felt like they were made for each other.
(And they really were.)
Jenny shrugged and sniffled again, looking down at her sleeping daughter (Amelia, Emma remembered). "He's still in surgery. The doctor hasn't said anything else."
Emma nodded and rubbed her thumb along Killian's hand. "What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"
Jenny sighed and her chin quivered, looking down at her newborn. "He was just-uh-riding up to the store for a minute before Killian came by for lunch. Something he always did. And his taxi got t-boned by some jackass who ran a red light." Jenny bit down on her bottom lip as she began to cry. "Got hit on his side. Both drivers were completely fine, except for a few scratches and bumps. And my husband is the one who has to pay for it."
Killian stepped over to his sister-in-law and pressed a kiss to her forehead, to which she leaned into because God it must've been so hard for the both of them, especially with Jenny having just given birth, judging by the size of the baby in her arms. His hand tightened in Emma's and she squeezed back, letting him know that she was still there and always will be.
"He'll be fine," Killian said, pulling back from Jenny just an inch for her to look up at him. "He's a stubborn arse, so you know he'll fight. He'll be just fine."
Jenny laughed and nodded and sniffled, running her hand up and down the baby in her arms. "Ain't that the truth."
They all returned back to chairs, where they patiently awaited any news from the doctors. Well, not so patiently waited as Killian couldn't stop jiggling his leg and Jenny kept chewing on her lip. Emma couldn't blame them for acting on nerves like this, since she was the same way when her father had gone into the hospital for heart surgery when she was twenty. And with how close she was to her father who wasn't even blood, Emma imagined it was even worse for Killian and Jenny.
But all Emma could do was rub her thumb over Killian's hand, which she was still holding. Every time she would do this, Killian's leg would slow its jiggling and he'd relax, breathing slowly and deeply. It made her happy that she could help Killian in this way, unable to help in any other way in this situation where no one had control.
The baby in Jenny's arms began to fuss when the third hour came around and Jenny took a minute to go to the bathroom to feed her (even though Emma insisted that she could feed her out here-it was a freaking hospital so Emma was sure people could deal with a breastfeeding mother). But Jenny headed off to the bathroom anyways with the diaper bag in hand, leaving Killian and Emma to themselves.
"How are you doing?" Emma asked him, whispering gently as she looked over at him, as he stared unseeingly at the far end of the room.
Killian sighed and visibly gulped, looking down at their joined hands. "I don't know."
"I'm sure the doctors will be coming in any minute now," Emma assured Killian, rubbing her thumb along his hand. "He's going to be fine."
"I hope so. If he-if he isn't, I don't know what I'm going to do," Killian responded and Emma noticed how his hands began shaking and how his leg began jiggling again. "He was practically a father to me when we moved here and if he's…"-Killian took a deep and shaky breath-"if he's gone, I won't have anything."
And Emma's heart wrenched as she tightened her hand in his. "You won't be alone. You'll have Jenny and Amelia and all your friends from the show." Emma gulped and continued shakily. "You'll have me."
Killian looked over at her and smiled weakly (but at least it was a smile). "Thank you for coming."
Emma smiled back toothlessly and shrugged. "I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else."
Killian leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against Emma's lips, but pulled away before it could change into something more (which was a good thing because Emma's self-control was still slightly compromised from the night before). He leaned his forehead against Emma's and took a deep breath, his fingers tightening around hers again.
"Looking awfully cozy, you two," Jenny teased as she walked back in from the bathroom, a smile finally spreading on her lips.
"Come off it, Jenny," Killian sighed as he pulled away and relaxed back in his chair.
"Wanna hold your niece?" Jenny asked Killian as she walked over toward them. "My arm's killing me."
Killian shook his head and stood from his chair. "I'm gonna head down to the cafeteria. I need something to eat and drink and this place is driving me crazy."
Jenny raised her eyebrows. "You sure you should be going into a crowded place?"
Killian sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "The security already know I'm here, so hopefully they can keep people from snapping pictures or asking for autographs."
Jenny nodded, her arms moving up and down as she held Amelia in her arms. "Alright. Let us know if you need help or anything."
Killian leaned down and pressed a kiss against Emma's forehead, then headed out of the waiting room. Emma wanted to follow him, but she knew he needed at least some time to himself, even if he wanted her here. Besides, Emma thought she should at least be there for Jenny, in case a doctor comes around. With her being Killian's soul mate, she should at least try to be there for his entire family. So Emma sat in her chair as Jenny took the one beside her again, holding a now alert Amelia in her arms.
"You're already so good for him," Jenny commented, out of the blue and Emma's eyes widened as she looked over at her. Jenny laughed as she looked down at Amelia, who cooed and flattened her hand against Jenny's face. "Don't give me that look. You can't be surprised. You know just as well as everyone does that he didn't have the greatest reputation. And things have changed since he met you."
Emma opened her mouth to respond, but she really didn't know what to say. She knew that things were obviously different since they had met, but it was a whole different thing actually hearing it from someone on the outside. Especially from such a huge person in Killian's life, just as Liam had done last week at the diner.
"He's a lot happier. Before, he was more of the brooding type, to be entirely honest," Jenny explained, tracing her finger down Amelia's cheek. "But now, he just smiles. It was something Liam and I hadn't seen in some time. Not for three years."
Emma furrowed her eyebrows. "Three years? Why?"
Jenny pressed her lips into a line and shook her head as she looked back at Emma. "I shouldn't have said that. I really shouldn't say anything."
Emma went to ask about whatever happened three years ago, but just then there was a gentle tapping on the doorway to the waiting room and Emma and Jenny both looked up. A doctor was standing over by the doorway and began walking toward them. Jenny darted up, holding Amelia close to her chest as she met the doctor half way. Emma hurried to join Jenny, shoving her hands into Killian's jacket pockets and stopping just beside Jenny, who looked more emotional than she had during the last few hours.
"You're Jennifer Jones?" The doctor asked and Jenny nodded immediately.
"Yes," Jenny replied, clearing her throat of the thickness. "Yes, I am. Is Liam okay?"
The doctor nodded and a huge weight had been lifted off of Emma's chest. Jenny let out a sob as she pressed a kiss to Amelia's head, which was resting on her shoulder. "I'm Dr. Shelley and I operated on your husband. He's just fine. His left wrist has been broken and he has three broken ribs. There was some internal bleeding, which we stopped in surgery, but we need to keep him in for a little while, just to monitor his healing. We also need to monitor for any concussion symptoms that may arise. But given that everything heals properly, he'll be just fine."
"Oh thank God," Jenny sighed out, wiping tears from her cheeks. "When can I see him?"
"He's still under the anesthesia, but he should be awake sooner rather than later," Dr. Shelley responded. "You can sit in his room, if you would like."
Jenny nodded. "Yes please."
"I can show you where he is, if you'd just follow me," Dr. Shelley added as he held an arm out to Jenny.
Jenny nodded again, but looked over at Emma. "Could you take her? I just want a few minutes alone with him."
"Of course," Emma found herself saying before she even thought about it. Emma held out her arms and gently took Amelia from Jenny, placing her against Emma's chest as the baby accustomed to the new body.
"She should be asleep soon. She's been up for a while," Jenny assured Emma, smiling emotionally at her. "And the diaper bag is over by my seat. Just have Killian call me if you need anything, alright?"
Emma nodded and smiled, hopping around with Amelia cooing in her arms. "I'll be fine. Both of my best friends are pregnant, so this is good practice for me being a future aunt."
Jenny laughed quickly and took a step toward the doctor. "Thank you, Emma."
Jenny and Dr. Shelley walked away and Emma looked down at the dozing baby in her arms. A gentle tuft of dark brown hair tickled Emma's chin as she looked at Amelia, and she hadn't yet seen her eyes, but Emma bet that she had the trademark Jones blue eyes. Emma slowly walked back to her original seat and sat down gently, trying to not jostle the baby too much. Emma rubbed her hand over Amelia's back slowly and she had to retain a giggle at the anchors covering her white onesie.
(Probably a gift from Killian.)
As Emma looked down at Amelia, who was slowly drifting into slumber, she couldn't help but imagine the possible future she had with Killian. Looking down at this nearly-black-haired baby, Emma could see herself running around with black-haired children of her own, with surprisingly blue eyes (as blue as the sea, of course) and dammit she wanted that. More than she really ever knew.
(Not like she'd tell anybody that.)
Emma had been holding Amelia just for a few minutes when Kilian returned to the waiting room. He furrowed his eyebrows (in that ridiculously adorable way that made Emma weak) and held out his hands in confusion, which were holding bottles: one of tea, one of water, and a bottle of Mountain Dew.
"Where's Jenny?" Killian asked and Emma stood, cradling the soundly sleeping baby and trying not to jostle her too much as Emma walked over to Killian. Emma smiled at him as she stood just a foot or so from him.
"Seeing Liam," Emma told Killian.
Killian's jaw dropped slightly. "He's okay?"
Emma nodded. "He's fine."
Killian let out a long breath, as if he'd been holding it all morning, and he placed the bottles on the nearby table (stacking on top of the aged magazines that were probably older than even Amelia was-)
He hugged Emma, tighter than ever before, but still being careful of Amelia in her arms. Emma felt him taking deep breaths and she knew he was barely holding it together, seeing as today was probably a nightmare for him. All Emma could do was wrap her free arm tightly around Killian's waist, flattening her hand against his back (his muscular, toned back-)
(Now was not the time for that.)
"Where is he?" Killian asked, his face in her hair.
Emma pulled away and shrugged, taking his hand in hers. "I don't know. But Jenny said she wanted some time alone with him. That's why I took Amelia."
Killian nodded and scratched the back of his head. "Understandable. She was a wreck when I got here and Amelia was crying 'cause Jenny was crying. It was just a lot."
Emma nodded, dropping Killian's hand and rubbing her hand over Amelia's back. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."
Killian shook his head and stepped forward, trailing his hand down Emma's cheek (and she tried to ignore the way her skin lit up like the goddamn Fourth of July). "Don't be. You needed some time with your friends. I'm just glad that you're here now."
Emma smiled weakly at Killian (and fuck she was already so screwed) and nodded at the drinks on the table. "Bought us all something?"
Killian chuckled and took his hand from Emma's cheek (and she mourned the loss of the warmth), scratching behind his ear. "I figured I would get something from the vending machines. Easier than buying something at the counter so I could keep my head down. Tea's for Jenny 'cause she drinks that stuff like water, the Mountain Dew's for me since I have a weakness for it, and the water's for you since I didn't know what to get for you."
Emma took the bottle of water from the table, beginning to step back to sit back down in her chair. "For future reference, I prefer Dr. Pepper."
Killian smiled at her as he took the other two bottles and walked with her back to the chairs. "Good to know."
They sat together in silence for quite some time, just listening to the sound of Amelia's gentle snoring (which honestly almost made Emma giggle because damn that baby was probably gonna sound like a freaking freight train when she was older). She enjoyed being able to just sit there with Killian, not being worried about what they needed to talk about and if she had BO-
(Which she actually was worried about because for the life of her, she couldn't remember if she put some deodorant on that morning and God what if she smelled-)
"Looks like Amelia enjoys your company," Killian stated after about a half hour of silence, halfway through his Mountain Drew and trying to burp under his breath.
(As if she'd be offended-the woman who could belch with the best of them.)
Emma laughed under her breath and slowly unscrewed the cap of her water bottle, being careful of the sleeping baby. "I'm gonna have to get used to it. Knowing Mary Margaret and Ruby, I'm gonna be over all of the time, helping them with their babies. Our Wednesday lunches will turn into weekly talks about their babies' bowel movements."
Killian chuckled, his chest shaking from the movement (and dammit Emma needed to get her libido in check). "I cannot say that that's not what happens. I've been through it. And I am still going through it."
And Emma wasn't sure why she even brought it up, but it's out of her mouth before she can catch herself. "I'm sorry about the whole thing last night."
A blush crept onto Killian's cheeks and she mentally captured the image, tucking it away into her pocket. "No need to apologize, love. It was my pleasure, having a beautiful woman such as yourself practically attack me, even if I had to end it."
Emma rolled her eyes because this man. "Oh, I know you enjoyed it." Emma mentally shook herself of the memories invading her senses-the way he felt against her when she rolled her hips, the way his mouth gasped when her nails scratched down his scalp, the way his lips knew exactly what to do even though they've only just kissed recently…
"I just wanted to apologize for jumping you like that," Emma added quickly, looking down at Amelia, whose fist was curled tightly against her mouth (and she was probably drooling all over Killian's jacket, but something told Emma that Killian wouldn't care).
"If I may ask, what prompted it?" Killian asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked Emma's way.
She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts, then looked back over at Killian. "You said that you were there for me."
"Continue."
Emma sighed and sipped on her open water bottle. She didn't want to explain her whole tragic backstory ('cause come on who wants to hear about all of that?) but she opened the can of worms and Emma could never deny Killian anything.
(Dammit.)
"You said that you were there for me. And once you get to know me, you'll realize that that's a big thing for me," Emma explained in a quiet tone, unable to even look up at those damn blue eyes. "I realized that you cared and that this was completely different than everything in my past and I just got caught up in it because it's something that's so important and different for me to have someone who cares for me like that, other than Mary Margaret or Ruby."
"Emma," Killian replied just as quietly and Emma took a deep breath before looking up at him and seeing him so close to her. "I hope you get used to it. Because it isn't going to change, Swan. I care now and I always will."
Emma's breathing hitched and she tried to calm her voice as she asked, "Not gonna question me about my past?"
"You'll tell me when you're ready. I'm not going to push you, since I know how we've both avoided the subject about our pasts," Killian responded and Emma breathed out a sigh of relief. "Now, a man could get used to the way you jump on him after he shows how much he cares."
Emma rolled her eyes because of course and laughed. "Oh I'm sure you could."
"A man could get used to the way you jump him anyways," Killian continued, a devilish smirk spreading on his lips.
"Maybe you should," Emma whispered, not even aware she was saying it until Killian's eyes widened.
A cell phone chime broke their intense staring and Killian sighed as he pulled away and reached into his pocket, grabbing his cell phone and looking over the text he just received. "Jenny says we can go back to the room now."
"Shall we then?" Emma asked in a low tone, knowing her voice was going to be all breathy and embarrassing if she spoke any louder.
Killian nodded, even though he looked quite put out that their moment was interrupted, even if the text was about his brother. "Do you want me to take her?"
Emma shook her head as she slowly stood from the chair, Amelia still snoring on her shoulder. "No, I'm good. We shouldn't wake her up anyways."
"I'm pretty sure Jenny would have our asses if we did," Killian joked with a smile, though Emma wasn't sure he was actually joking. Jenny did seem the type to bite someone's head off if they even stirred her baby.
(Then again, so did most newborn mothers.)
Killian gathered the bottles and walked with Emma toward the exit of the waiting room, turning down the hall to the right. He followed the signs, pointing him toward the direction of the room Jenny texted him, as Emma continued to run her hand down Amelia's back. Emma noticed how Killian walked faster than he usually did, not being able to wait to see Liam any longer. He hurried down the hall, weaving his head around to look at every room number they passed. Killian finally stopped in front of an open door and Emma saw Jenny standing by the foot of the bed inside the room. Emma looked up at Killian and she noticed how he looked uneasy and nervous. Emma took her free hand and placed it on his upper arm, squeezing it to let him know that she was there. Killian took a deep breath after glancing down at her and stepped into the room.
Killian stopped at the doorway and Emma stepped around him to see Liam lying in the bed, covered in bandages and with a large cast on his right hand. It wasn't a second later that Killian rushed over to the bed side and wrapped Liam in a tight hug. Emma looked away (as did Jenny), not wanting to intrude on a personal moment between the two brothers. She knew Killian had been freaking out all day and that he just needed this time to hold his brother, to see that he was still there-even if it was with a few bumps and bruises.
(If Emma was closer, she would've seen how Killian was shaking.)
(And she would've heard Liam tell him that he was fine, that he wouldn't disappear like Milah.)
"She looks comfortable," Jenny said from beside the bed, looking at Emma.
"She's been sleeping almost the entire time," Emma responded and stepped toward Jenny. "Do you want to take her?"
Jenny nodded and stepped forward, taking a sleeping Amelia back into her arms. "I was getting anxiety just from leaving her with you. But I guess that's normal."
Emma nodded. "So I've been told."
Emma looked back over and saw Killian letting go of Liam, standing up straight but not leaving his brother's side. Emma noticed the large bandage on Liam's forehead and a small scratch on his upper lip. Honestly, he looked like hell, but Emma was glad that his injuries weren't worse.
"Nice to see you still kicking," Emma stated, smirking as she stood at the end of the bed and tucking her hands into the jacket pockets.
Liam chuckled, and then grimaced as he held his ribs. "Ugh, don't make me laugh. It hurts. Everything hurts. Bloody idiot, not paying attention and completely blind-sided us."
"What did the doctor say?" Killian asked, placing his hands in the back pockets of his jeans.
"Keeping him overnight just to monitor him and hopefully he can head out tomorrow," Jenny replied, looking down at Amelia, who continued to be oblivious to the world as she slept. "He won't be able to do anything really until his ribs heal, which could take a while."
"I'll be fucking useless," Liam grumbled, prodding at the new cast on his wrist.
Killian swiped at Liam's shoulder, making him stop playing with the cast. "Don't do that. You listen to the doctors, Liam. For once in your bloody life, listen to the doctors. Don't need a redo of the leg breaking incident when you were fifteen."
Liam laughed and winced at the pain in his ribs. "God dammit, that hurts. But that was a great one, even though you probably barely remember it."
"Dad yelling at you for jumping off of the roof for a fifth time after hurting your ankle? How could I forget?" Killian asked, a smile spreading on his lips and it looked so much better than the brooding that seemed eternal on his face earlier.
Liam sighed. "Well, I would've done anything back then to keep my mind off of Mum."
Killian nodded and Emma noticed how he seemed sullen, which didn't surprise Emma. Emma had assumed that Killian's mother had passed on, even though she didn't know the specifics of it. She was curious, of course, about what had happened, but Emma would be patient with him, just like he was being patient with her about revealing her past.
"So, who's going to sneak me in some McDonald's?"
(There was a collective groan from Killian and Jenny, complaining about Liam's utter obsession with the American staple.)
(And Emma just laughed, not noticing the way Killian looked over at her and his eyes twinkled because dammit he thought he was already in love with her.)
"Ugh, I just wanna sleep," Killian grumbled as they walked into his apartment, shuffling his feet along the hardwood flooring.
Emma rubbed her tired eyes and shrugged off the leather jacket, thanking God that Elsa allowed her to take the night off. Emma couldn't imagine singing or waiting on tables when she was this exhausted, so she was grateful when Elsa gave her the night off without much fuss, understanding Killian's need to have her with him at the hospital. And Emma was doubly grateful when Killian suggested going uptown to stay the night at his place, since she didn't have work in the morning and she was secretly wondering how his bed felt.
(Among other things, of course.)
"Is there anything you want to eat or drink?" Killian asked as he tugged off his boots, looking over his shoulder at Emma.
Emma shook her head. "No. I'm too tired."
"Thank God," Killian huffed out with a tired smile as he walked back over to Emma, who was standing awkwardly in the middle of the foyer. "I really was not up to making something. Alright, I probably have something for you to wear. Come with me."
Emma followed Killian to the door that led to his bedroom, right off the foyer, and Killian (ever the gentleman) held the door open for her. Emma hid a smirk as she stepped into the cozy bedroom, eyeing the matching hardwood floor (which must go throughout the apartment) and the rather large king-sized bed resting against the far wall. Killian flipped on the light from the switch behind her and Emma gasped, looking at the dark wood furniture and the gorgeous artwork he had nailed to the walls, all revolving around the same theme of the sea.
(Looked like he took his character to heart.)
"I've always had a love for the ocean," Killian told Emma, smiling as he stood beside her. Emma looked over at him and he was staring at the artwork of ships sailing across the oceans, of the little sailboat perched on his dresser, of the miniature ship's wheel resting on one of the nightstands. "If I wasn't so busy all of the time with the show, I'd be out on the sea on a boat."
"Maybe you'll take me one day," Emma stated with a smile on her face and Killian looked down at her, his smile matching hers.
"Of course, love." Killian scratched behind his ear and pointed over at his dresser, which he moved to quickly. "I should have a shirt in here for you. Unfortunately, I probably don't have pants for you."
"That's not a problem," Emma told Killian as he bent over to shuffle through his dresser. (And she was not admiring the great view of his ass). "I can just sleep in my underwear. Or maybe nothing at all."
Killian knocked himself into the dresser and cleared his throat, and Emma laughed at his actions. He grabbed a shirt and turned around, running his hand through his hair. "Bloody hell, Swan. You're going to kill me."
Emma laughed again and held out her hand as Killian tossed the thin t-shirt to her. "Well, fine then. Turn around if you don't want to see me change."
"That'll be the best for the both of us," Killian replied, beginning to turn around as he traced his tongue along his bottom lip. "Although it'd be quite the treat."
Emma rolled her eyes as she dropped the leather jacket onto the bed. "Trying to keep your self-control?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact," Killian said, his back now facing Emma. "I'm trying to be a gentleman."
Well, I don't need a gentleman, Emma thought to herself as she shrugged off her shorts and shirt.
It only took Emma a minute to change into the baggy t-shirt Killian handed her, which just grazed the tops of her thighs. She decided to keep her bra on because she might as well try to make it easier for Killian to retain the self-control that she so wanted him to lose.
"Alright, done," Emma murmured, gathering her clothes in her arms as Killian turned around. She heard a sharp inhale and she noticed Killian's hands tightened into fists. "What?"
"I didn't think about how you'd look in one of my shirts," Killian spoke through a tight voice.
Emma smirked, but she felt a blush rise onto her cheeks. "Still got ahold of that self-control?"
Killian visibly gulped. "Yeah, I think so."
"Then there shouldn't be a problem," Emma responded with a raise of her eyebrows, walking over to the side of the bed and gripping the comforter (of course Killian made his bed). "You gonna change?"
Killian nodded. "Your turn to look away."
Emma rolled her eyes as she slid into the bed (oh God, the extremely comfortable bed) and turned to face the wall, her back facing Killian as he changed into his own pajamas. She tried to ignore the rustling of his clothes as he stripped out of them, but dammit did Emma's mind wander, just as it always did when it came to this man. She knew he had a well-toned body-not too muscular, but not lanky either-and a gentle dusting of chest hair that scatter over his stomach and led down to below the pant line (thanks to his many shirtless scenes on Never Landing) (God bless that show), but she wanted to feel the muscles ripple under her hands, to feel how that chest hair scraped against her palms or her breasts.
Emma took a silent deep breath because dammit she needed to calm her thoughts before she did something that they really shouldn't be doing so soon. She'd had plenty of one night stands, but Emma wanted to wait for Killian, even though she couldn't deny that she'd been imagining how it would be long before she even met the guy.
(And of course she didn't imagine it was Killian when she was fucking nameless men. That'd only make things weirder.)
(Ugh fine, they're already plenty weird.)
Emma had been lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Killian flicking off the lights and scooting into bed behind her. Emma only noticed it when she felt his arms wrap around her waist tightly, pulling her into him like they slept the night before. Emma smiled because they fell into this intimacy so easily and Emma didn't want it to go away. She knew she'd always have her issues, believing that she'd never be enough and that he'd leave. But when things were like this (when he was holding her like that), Emma could believe that everything would be perfectly okay.
"Good night, Swan," Killian murmured against the back of her neck, pressing a gentle kiss beside her shoulder.
"Good night, Killian," Emma responded, snuggling closer into the pillow.
She woke up because of the grumbling.
Emma furrowed her eyebrows and took a deep breath, remembering that she was in Killian's apartment and that he was seemingly talking in his sleep. She turned quickly in her spot on the bed to see Killian lying on his back, splayed out as he twitched in his sleep. Emma stared for a moment, seeing if he'd continue mumbling as he slept, but nothing happened for a few seconds. But just as she was laying back down to return to her slumber, Killian mumbled again, his voice louder than before. Emma couldn't understand what he was saying, so she perched herself on her elbow and looked at him, waiting for him to speak again.
(It was her curiosity, not her being creepy. She swore that.)
It was only a few more seconds later that he muttered again. And this time, Emma's heart froze in fear and anxiety.
"Milah."
That was notably not Emma's name and oh fuck what was she doing here when Killian is dreaming of another woman? Emma bit down on her lip and swore that that was not what he just said, but just then Killian muttered it even louder, his voice tight and breathless and sounding more like a sex dream than anything else.
"Milah."
Emma's heart shattered as she swung out of bed, slowly as to not wake up Killian (oh God her soulmate was dreaming of another woman) and she dressed herself back up again. She shook her head and bit down on her lip, forcing herself not to cry in his apartment, not to give him the tears that he was probably waiting for.
Oh fuck, she had been played all this time. She thought that he actually cared, that he was actually different than Neal and her foster families and her mother and all of the other people in her life that didn't give a shit about her. Emma tried to breathe, but every time she tried to inhale, a knot developed in her throat and the urge to sob grew. She notably left Killian's jacket on the back of his desk chair, pushed into the corner of the room beside the dresser.
God, she was such a fucking idiot for believing that Killian Jones would care about some lowly waitress that could barely afford her apartment and had been left behind dozens of times before.
"Emma?" Killian croaked out, his eyes slowly opening as he sat up in bed. His eyebrows furrowed as he saw Emma standing beside the desk, her hands shaking as she forced them together. "Emma, what are you doing?"
Emma bit down on her lip and shook her head, a tear leaking out of her eye. "I'm sorry. I have to go."
"Wait, wait, wait, what's going on?" Killian asked, his voice much more alarmed now that he was awake and hopping out of bed. "Emma, what's wrong?"
Emma kept shaking her head, stepping back toward the door. He could have his life with this Milah if he wanted it. "No, I can't. I have to go. I'm sorry, Killian."
"Emma, talk to me," Killian said urgently, stepping toward Emma.
Emma stepped back and shook her head again, more tears streaking down her face. "No. No, this isn't going to work. I'm sorry, but I can't do this. No, I have to go."
"Don't go! We can talk about whatever's bothering you. What happened, Emma?" Killian asked, his voice panicked.
Emma left the apartment, ignoring Killian's cries that were begging her to stay, to just forget about how he was muttering another woman's name as he slept. And Emma gave herself credit for making it all the way to her apartment building elevator before she broke down crying, unable to believe that she was again alone in the world.