A/N: I'm really really sorry for the long wait, guys! This chapter was like pulling teeth and I had a super busy final month of college. But now it's summer and I am officially a college graduate, so there should be more time for me to write when I don't work. So enjoy!
It was already a slow day for Emma. Even though she arrived at her usual time of eight in the morning, the diner was much slower than it typically was. It was a Thursday in early August, so Emma didn't understand why no one was in for breakfast or lunch. Even their usuals were noticeably missing from their places on the bar or in their booths. She had been wiping down the long bar (for the fifth time that day because she had nothing else to do) when the door chimed. Emma looked up and smiled, seeing Ruby, Mary Margaret, and David walk into the diner. They hadn't been able to meet for their usual Wednesday lunch the day before because Mary Margaret and David had a doctors' appointment, so Emma was excited to see her friends for the first time since Saturday morning. Emma looked through the window, that led to the kitchen, and saw Granny nod at her as she manned the stove, telling her that she could take her break even if she was done working in an hour. Emma looked back at her friends and told them to go take a seat at one of the booths as she checked on the orders of her two tables.
A few minutes later, Emma slid into the booth, sitting beside Ruby and plopping her head onto the table (which she knew was clean since she had cleaned it off for fifteen minutes during the diner's lull).
"Tired?" Ruby asked, running her hand over her bulging stomach.
"Super tired," Emma responded, her voice muffled by the table.
"Well, I'm with you in that boat. This one kept me up all night," Ruby muttered as she looked down at her pregnant belly lovingly. "Victor was at the hospital, on call, so at least it didn't bother him."
"That reminds me," Emma said and sat back up, looking at Mary Margaret and David across the table, "how'd the appointment go?"
"Well," Mary Margaret began saying with a smile and David's arm tightened around her shoulder, "we can find out the sex of the baby next appointment."
"That's so exciting!" Ruby exclaimed loudly, that grin spreading on her face. "Are you guys gonna find out?"
David shrugged and Mary Margaret looked over at him with so much love in her eyes (something that Emma had always been jealous of, but now she was happy). "We haven't decided on that yet. We'd like a surprise, but we all know this one"-David nudged Mary Margaret, who flushed deeply-"so we're not sure."
"Well, that's still exciting," Ruby replied, sitting up in her seat. "Victor and I wanted to keep it a secret, but we've already got the names ready and the nursery is almost done and the little one will be here soon."
Ruby smiled toothlessly and looked down at her belly, her hand still stroking her bump. Emma smiled because her friends were so happy and Emma was finally there with them and this could be her future. Emma knew it was far too early to even consider having children, but...it was nice to see where things could end up if things went well with Killian and they didn't have any more misunderstandings like the one from Saturday night.
(And she couldn't stop herself from imagining a black-haired, green-eyed little girl in her arms.)
(Or maybe a blonde-haired, blue eyed little boy.)
(She'd be happy with either, honestly.)
"So, how's the future Mr. Swan?" David asked from across the table, then leaned over, saying, "or should I say, Mr. Killian Jones-Swan?"
Emma glared over at Mary Margaret, who was notably staring at the table at a very interesting speck stuck on the laminate top. "What did I fucking tell you, Mary?"
"Wha-oh right, yeah. Sorry," Mary Margaret replied when she looked back up at Emma. "But, I was just so excited and it sorta slipped out."
Emma looked over at Ruby, who was in absolute glee at the exchange. "You tell anybody?"
Ruby shook her head. "Are you kidding? I'm as loyal as a dog, honey."
Emma sighed and looked back over to David. "Don't tell anybody, alright? It's only been a month and we don't want the entire world in our business yet."
David zipped an invisible zipper over his mouth. "My lips are sealed."
"How are things with you two?" Mary Margaret asked eagerly, sitting up in her seat and scooting forward.
"Fine. Just like they were on Saturday when I told you both about it," Emma replied because she did not want to go into the mess that was Saturday night and all of Sunday.
Emma didn't want to even think about the pain she went through on Sunday, or the pain she must've put Killian through. They didn't talk much after what he had told her because nothing else really needed to be said, so Emma just went home and left Killian with Graham at his place. But Emma knew she should've talked to him about what she put him through (because she was such an ungrateful bitch toward him and it wasn't fair to the man who she may indeed be falling in love with).
(Fuck, did she really just think that?)
"Have you seen him since then?" Ruby asked, moving in her spot to lean her back against the cold tile wall and perching her leg up on the booth (and Ruby was lucky that Granny was her own grandmother because she wouldn't let any other customer do that).
"Only Sunday night," Emma muttered, looking down to the table to trail her finger along the laminate top.
"What was that?" Ruby asked alarmingly.
"What was what?" Emma asked as she looked back up at her, furrowing her eyebrows.
"You're hiding something. I can smell it on you, all pungent and sour and shit. What happened?" Ruby asked and dammit she really was like a goddamn dog.
Emma groaned under her breath and ran a hand through her loosening ponytail, reaching up to untangle it and to fix it. "No offense, but I really do not want to talk about it anymore. I already explained it to Henry and to Elsa and to my dad-"
"Your dad?" Mary Margaret questioned, furrowing her eyebrows. "I thought you two rarely talked anymore."
"I mean, we don't but he called me Sunday morning," Emma responded, her hair now piled in a messy bun on top of her head. "It'd been a while since we talked and it all sorta spilled out. You know how my relationship is with him. As long as Diane isn't around, it's all good."
Emma more than hated her adoptive mother after deciding Emma wasn't worth caring for after Emma decided to live the way she wanted to live, not wanting to follow Diane's plan for her. Emma didn't want to play piano in Carnegie Hall or go to Broadway. Emma just wanted to sing and entertain. But dear old Diane didn't like that plan, so decided to completely cut Emma off from her entire life.
Emma hadn't heard from Diane since that day, four years ago.
And Emma still had trouble thinking that she was capable of being loved, of being cared for, even if she's seen her friends doing just that time and time again. Even Killian cared for her, through fights and miscommunication.
But sometimes, Emma missed having a family. Sure, her father still talked to her and loved her. But Emma missed having family dinners and family pictures and having a mother to talk to, even if Diane had always been blunt and borderline rude to Emma whenever she tried to break free of Diane's rules.
Sometimes, Emma wondered if it was a mistake to ignore Diane's direction and to just go her own way. It definitely made things more difficult for her because she was hardly able to pay her rent and to even eat in the same month. Sometimes, Emma believed that she should talk to Diane, to apologize and see if she could get help following the path that Diane wanted…
"What happened? Like, I mean it looks like everything's all good now, but what happened?" Ruby asked, crossing her arms over her stomach.
"If she doesn't want to talk about it anymore, she doesn't have to," David spoke from his place across the table. Emma smiled weakly at David (who was honestly like a second father to her, even if he was her age) and he smiled back in response.
"Maybe when we're not in the middle of a diner," Emma explained, crossing her arms on the table. "I'd rather not let everybody know my business, thank you very much."
Ruby obnoxiously rolled her eyes. "Oh fine."
"Now, back to you two," Emma said, looking over at Mary Margaret and David with a smile. "Decorating the nursery any time soon?"
"Oh please. She's already gotten started on that," David murmured and Mary Margaret elbowed him in the side. "What? Is that not true?"
"You make it sound like I'm obsessed or something," Mary Margaret replied, her hand resting on the small bump growing under her clothes.
"Again, is that not true?" Ruby questioned, raising an eyebrow as Mary Margaret flushed a brilliant shade of red.
Mary Margaret tucked her short hair behind her ear. "Shut up, you two." She looked over at Emma and smiled again. "Oh, and we're gonna have dinner next Friday night, so he's welcome to come along. Just so you know."
Emma raised her eyebrows and looked at David, who had his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "So you can interrogate him, I guess?"
"Oh Emma, do you really think so low of me?" David asked, that playful smile spreading across his lips.
"My mistake," Emma snarked back with a laugh.
"Hey, can we get some help over here?" A man called from the opposite side of the diner and Emma looked over at him. She had never seen him nor his friend before at the diner, but that didn't change the fact that she was on break.
"Sorry, I'm on break right now. But someone will be with you in just a minute," Emma replied from across the room and turned back to her friends.
But then the guy continued on, "It's your job to help us out, sugar tits. So, go into the kitchen and cook me some pancakes."
Oh hell no.
Emma saw David clench his hands and she almost stood up to go smack the ass across his face, but Ruby had other plans, tucking a leg under her to sit a little taller and eyeing the asshole from across the room, who was now laughing with his buddy.
"Hey, asshole!" Ruby called across the room as Emma almost stood from the booth. The men looked over at Ruby, dumbfounded looks on their faces. "Yeah, you assholes! You better show some goddamn respect to my friend here, alright!"
The men scoffed and turned back to talk to each other, not noticing that Emma hadn't left the table to go "make their pancakes."
"I'm not done talking to you, dickwad!" Ruby shouted again, ignoring the stares coming from the other customers. The men looked back over at Ruby as she sat higher in her seat. "You can go find another fucking place to eat. My grandma owns this place and she'd rather not have your fucking pig money!"
"Excuse me?" The man who had spoken to Emma began to stand, crossing his arms over his chest as his friend had just done.
"Oh what are you gonna do?" Ruby asked loudly, sitting up further to expose her belly over the table. "You gonna hit a pregnant woman? I fucking dare you."
The guys grumbled and began walking toward the door, the customers in the diner moving to stare at the assholes leave.
"I hope you aren't fucking married or have any daughters because you disgust me! And if you do have a wife or daughter, I hope for their fucking sakes that you treat them with respect because no woman deserves to hear that shit, no matter who they fucking are!" Ruby continued as the men swung the door openly angrily and left the diner.
There was a loud applause that erupted in the diner after the men left, the customers looking over at a very angry and flustered Ruby, who was slowly returning to sitting normally. Emma looked over at Ruby with raised eyebrows and Ruby took a deep breath.
"Granny doesn't need money that comes from assholes like that. She'd be glad of what I did," Ruby told Emma, nudging her in the side. "If she had heard what they were saying, she would've kicked them out too."
"For disrespecting staff?"
"For disrespecting you," Ruby specified with a smile.
And Emma finally remembered that she had her own family in New York City and she didn't need her good-for-nothing adoptive mother in the picture.
Emma huffed as she tossed her purse and keys onto her bed, peeling her shoes off of her sweaty feet because God it was freaking hot outside. Even with the air-conditioning pumping through the building, Emma was sweating from her short trek outside. She really did hate the summer; she preferred the bitter chill of fall, with the golden leaves in contrast to the green grass and the pumpkin-flavored everything that pop up in all of the cafés around her.
Emma pulled her phone from her purse as she plopped onto her bed, looking through it to see if she had missed any texts or calls while she was at work. She knew that she hadn't, as everybody knew her schedule because it hadn't changed really for the past year. But she did see that she had one text from Killian:
Good morning, beautiful. I hope to see you tonight at the lounge. Save a song for me.
Butterflies fluttered in Emma's stomach and oh Lord she was already in so deep with this man. After everything had been explained and revealed on Sunday night, Emma felt closer to Killian. She knew it had taken a lot out of him to talk about his past-a painful one, at that. She knew she would've been in the same boat if Killian had asked her to talk about her own past, even if he knew a small part of the pain that lingered there.
Emma knew that the topic of her own past would come up again, but dammit she wanted to stay in this little bubble for just a little while longer. She knew Killian wouldn't be scared off by her past-she wasn't scared by his and he seemed like the sort of man who could handle whatever life threw at him, a man who wouldn't run off because life got a little bumpy. But, Emma was still a little afraid to tell him about Neal's departure and her bitch of a mother.
Old habits die hard, apparently.
Emma suddenly remembered that Mary Margaret and David had invited Killian for dinner that next week, so Emma began typing into her text box to ask Killian if he would like to join them for, what she liked to call, "family dinner." As she was halfway through the text, her phone began vibrating in her hands, telling her that a call was coming in. The caller ID popped up on the screen and Emma saw that it was her father calling her again. She didn't think it odd that her father was calling twice in a week, so Emma swiped her screen and answered her phone.
"Hey, Dad," Emma chirped into the phone, standing from her spot on the bed and tucking her thumb into the waistband of her skirt (where it was freaking digging into her hip and wow she needed to watch what she ate-)
"Hello, Emma."
Her heart stopped and she froze as she stood in the middle of her apartment. No, this wasn't happening. It couldn't be-
"What is it, Emma, sweetie? Cat got your tongue?"
"Hello, Diane," Emma gritted out, her teeth clenched because this woman was the last person Emma wanted to talk to. Period.
"Is that how you talk to your mother?" Diane asked sweetly, even though Emma knew that her high-pitched voice was just a mask for the monster underneath.
"You aren't my mother. You never were. So, what do you want?" Emma replied, beginning to pace around her small apartment because her nerves were now taking over. Her stomach was churning because whenever Diane spoke, condescension came dripping out.
"I just wanted to see how my daughter was doing," Diane said and Emma could hear the familiar creak of her father's desk chair as Diane sat in the chair. "Are you a big shot musician now, Emma? Just like you wanted to be."
Emma took a deep breath because this is exactly what Diane did: manipulated Emma's words and talked down to Emma condescendingly, as if Diane knew better. She could make Emma feel horrible about her life in just a word, spoken in that sweet tone that made people believe that Diane was just an innocent, perfect woman that only wanted the best for her adopted daughter. The adopted daughter that turned her back on Diane and ungratefully went her own way.
Diane laughed over the line when Emma didn't respond. "I take your silence as a no. And I should know, I had completely forgotten about you until Grant left his phone here when he went to work and saw that you two had talked every so often."
Emma's hands curled into a fist, her knuckles white as she held her phone to her ear.
"So, sweetie, how has life been for you? I haven't talked to you in ages," Diane asked and Emma could imagine her tucking a piece of her perfectly coiffed brown hair behind her ear.
"That isn't my fault," Emma spat out, her face turning red because this was fucking typical Diane: turning everything around to make it sound like Emma had ruined their relationship by following her heart. "You were the one who decided that since I didn't want what you wanted, that I didn't deserve a fucking family, Diane."
"Sweetie, I was just looking out for you. If you had only allowed me to help you…oh Emma, you could've been in Carnegie Hall by now, playing piano for the wealthy. You could've been on Broadway," Diane let out a long sigh, as if she was imagining the potential future Emma could've had. "But look at you now, working as a waitress in some diner that you've been at since college."
"I'm working at a lounge now, too. I'm singing, just like I wanted to," Emma replied, even though she knew that she was playing right in to Diane's hands. But this woman had to know that Emma was happy with her life, that she was where she wanted to be.
"And how is that going? Still able to barely afford that ghastly apartment?" Diane asked and Emma fucking knew that Diane would do this: make Emma feel like shit for denying Diane the ability to control Emma's life. "Oh yes, you are very successful, Emma."
"I have a soul mate who cares about me and that's all that fucking matters!" Emma exclaimed and shit she shouldn't have told Diane that because she's going to twist it and turn it around and make Emma question everything in her goddamn life.
"Oh, lucky you! But no man is going to want a lounge singer who can barely afford her own rent," Diane said venomously and even though Emma knew it would go this way, she couldn't help but feel her heart grow heavy because Diane was right.
Killian wouldn't want some woman who barely makes enough money for her rent, to even eat.
"See, Emma, if you had only just let me help you, you could be happy with your soul mate," Diane continued, spitting out the word like it was a curse. "But, no. You had to be ungrateful and decide that you knew best. Maybe that Neal boy had the right mindset, getting away from you. Maybe he could tell that you would never amount to anything substantial. Oh, what wasted potential. You could've really been something, Emma. I wanted what was best for you-"
"No! You wanted what was best for you-"
"But, we can't change the past," Diane continued, as though Emma hadn't even said anything. "Oh well, I hope you have a nice day, sweetie. Don't be a stranger."
There was a click over the line as Diane hung up the phone. Emma stood in her apartment, not moving because this woman will do whatever it takes to make Emma question everything and now…now, Emma didn't know what to think. Or what to believe. Because Diane was right, as she always was…
Emma gritted her teeth and threw her phone across the room, clattering against the wall and to the floor. It was probably broken and Emma did not have the money to deal with a broken phone, but she couldn't find a reason to care. Her life was shit and Diane had just reminded her that she couldn't be happy with a life like this.
Emma dropped to the ground and curled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and cried because she could never be fucking happy, no matter how hard she tried and how much she wanted it.
Life could never allow her to be happy. That had been showed throughout her entire lifetime, through countless foster homes and a loveless adoption (except for the father that cherished her every word), a relationship with a man she loved but didn't love her back, and a dead end job at the diner she had been working at since her freshman year of college. She wanted to be happy (God, she wanted it) because she had her soulmate and life was going so well and Killian was more than Emma could've ever wanted-
But no. Diane had to remind Emma that she couldn't be happy with how her life was, with how she could barely afford her rent and even keep herself alive. After all, that was Diane's job as Emma's adoptive mother: make Emma feel like absolute shit about her life and how she should've allowed Diane to take the reins.
Emma sat on the ground, just allowing her tears to fall because life wasn't fair and she couldn't change it and Killian wouldn't want a woman who couldn't afford to live. He wouldn't want to support Emma their entire life. He'll leave, because he even though he has riches Emma couldn't even imagine, who would want to have some lowlife spending all of their money? He'll leave because he'll get sick of supporting her, of being with her-just like everybody else.
She just hoped it wouldn't hurt too much when he left.
"I can't believe Angela is pregnant with Bruno's baby, who is actually her half-brother!" Graham shouted sarcastically from his spot on the couch.
"Ha ha," Killian grumbled out, draining the last of his water from the bottle and standing from the couch. "You're so hilarious, Humbert."
"Come on, Killian. Why do you watch this shit?" Graham asked, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth.
"He enjoys it, Graham, so don't hate on him," Izzy spoke from the other side of the couch.
Killian looked over at his close friend from by the little kitchenette counter and said, "Thank you, Izzy."
"He can't control the fact that he has awful taste in TV," Izzy continued and they laughed together, Killian rolling his eyes as he reached up into the cabinet and grabbed his precious M&M's. "But seriously though, why do you watch soap operas?"
"There's nothing else on at this time of day," Killian responded, sighing and leaning over the back of the couch, resting his forearms on the frame.
"Anything else is better than that," Graham mumbled and chewed on another piece of popcorn.
"If you two are going to piss and moan about what I watch, you can leave," Killian said with finality.
A few moments of silence followed Killian's statement. The only sound was Graham's popcorn and Killian's loud eating of the M&M's, which he had shared gratefully with Izzy. They had another two hours before their next scene, which really wouldn't take long. Or at least, it shouldn't. It was shocking how many times they had to stay late because of something as trivial as different lighting or different enunciations of the script.
But Killian was hoping to get off the set before midnight that night. After all, he did want to see Emma tonight.
The sudden chiming of Killian's cell phone shattered the silence and Killian furrowed his eyebrows as he reached into the baggy pocket of his basketball shorts (they had just filmed a scene at the Never Landing Gym and thank God for that because Killian didn't want to deal with his usual black skinny jeans on a hot day like that day).
"Hello," Killian answered the phone, perching it on his shoulder as he leaned back over the back of the couch.
"Jones, who the hell are you bringing to my wedding?" Regina asked over the phone in her usual angry voice.
"Ah. Hello, Regina. It's nice to speak with you, too."
"I don't have time for pleasantries. Who are you bringing to my wedding?" Regina asked again and Killian smirked as he could feel the tension radiating off of Regina in waves. "It's in three weeks, Killian. I need to have the place cards written up and it takes time. Who are you bringing?"
"Alright, alright. I have someone in mind. I just need to ask her," Killian replied quickly because he didn't want an angry Regina on the phone with him. "I'll tell you tomorrow."
"Please tell me it isn't one of your model sluts-"
"No, no, no. No, nobody like that," Killian replied quickly, standing up from his place behind the couch. Graham and Izzy looked over at him and Killian held up a finger to tell them to wait. "No, she's not someone you'd know."
"Hmm, an unknown actress then?" Regina asked and her voice raised in pitch, telling Killian that she was curious about who he would bring.
"Not exactly. But, I'll get back to you tomorrow once I ask her. I'll hopefully be seeing her tonight, so I'll ask her then," Killian responded, running his hand through his hair.
Regina sighed over the line. "You're lucky you're pretty."
Killian chuckled and moved his phone into his hand, holding it to his ear. "I'm well aware, but thank you, Regina. Tell Robin that we must get together again at some point to relive his bachelor party."
He could practically hear the eye roll from Regina over the phone. "Sure, Jones. Call me no later than five tomorrow. Or I'll have your ass."
"I don't think your fiancé would appreciate that."
Regina hung up the phone and Killian's heart pounded because there was no way Emma would even consider going to a huge Hollywood wedding when they haven't even considered letting the world know about their soul mate status. He wanted to bring her to this wedding, to show her off to all of his colleagues, but he knew she'd be more than terrified of that.
He was going to still try, but he was trying not to get his hopes up for something that might be a pipe dream.
(He imagined how she would look in a sleek black gown and her hair down in a cascade of waves, a smile wide across her red-stained lips.)
(And how they would look together, dancing across the floor, with him in a stuffy tux and she would have the radiance of a thousand burning suns.)
"What was that about?" Graham asked, turning around slightly to look back at Killian.
"Just Regina wondering who my date is going to be to her wedding," Killian responded, sticking his phone back into his shorts pockets.
"Who are you gonna take?" Izzy asked, her position mirroring Graham's.
"You're gonna take that girl, aren't you?" Graham asked before Killian could even open his mouth to respond. "The girl that came over on Sunday."
Killian sighed because now Izzy knew and well, she really wasn't the best at keeping secrets and following the rules. And with the look on her face, Killian was really in deep shit.
"What girl?" Izzy asked quickly, her eyes darting between Killian behind the couch and Graham on the opposite side of the couch from her. Her eyes finally landed on Killian and she turned around on the sofa, resting on her knees. "Killian, who is he talking about?"
"God dammit, Graham," Killian mumbled under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"You can't keep her a secret forever," Graham replied, turning in his spot and pulling his leg up to rest on the leather couch.
Oh, Graham had no idea how true that was.
Killian sighed and dropped his hand from his nose, looking between Graham and Izzy. He really fucking hoped that Emma wouldn't be upset with him for telling Graham and Izzy about their…whatever it was…because Killian knew he couldn't handle that pain again. It felt as though his soul was being ripped out of his chest when Emma had misunderstood Killian's nightmare as some sort of dream with Milah. He didn't want to feel that anger toward him again.
"She's your girlfriend," Izzy states and Killian chuckled wryly because was that what they were? Sure, they're soul mates, but they had never actually discussed their relationship status.
"Something like that," Killian replied and Graham furrowed his eyebrows.
"Um, with the way you were looking at her and she was looking at you for the two seconds I saw you two together, I'd say you are that," Graham told Killian and his heart pounded because she looked at him like he looked at her? Because Killian knew that he looked at Emma as though she was the sun and the stars and the sunset and everything good and perfect in this universe.
And she looked at him like that?
Impossible.
"There's more to it, isn't there?" Izzy asked, folding her hands over her lap and furrowing her eyebrows.
Dammit. He really hoped Emma wouldn't be angry with him.
Killian sighed again. "Well"-he scratched that spot behind his ear-"we're soul mates, actually."
And immediately, Izzy jumped off the couch and shouted "What?!" while Graham just sat there, completely dumbfounded.
"You both cannot tell anybody!" Killian replied immediately, his voice tight. He looked back and forth between Izzy and Graham and saw that they understood. "I mean it. She is not ready for the entire bloody world to know. So I mean it when I say nobody can know."
"How long has it been?" Izzy asked, crossing her arms over her chest, as if she was suddenly cold in her tank top.
"A little over a month," Killian replied simply and Izzy's jaw dropped.
"And you kept that from us the entire time," Izzy said and Killian felt horrible because he really told Graham and Izzy everything (well, nothing about his past and Milah, but that was something he'd rather keep to himself).
(And to Emma.)
"I should be sorry, but I'm not, Izzy," Killian spoke and Izzy's arms tightened around her waist. "When we first met, she ran away from me. She was bloody terrified of this whole thing. It took us a few days to even decide to give this a shot. And it took us another two and a half weeks to even share numbers. We need time to get to know each other, Izzy, and it's probably going to be a little while longer to even come out with it to the whole world."
"He's right, Izzy," Graham said, turning his head to look over at Izzy, who was tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. "They needed some time to themselves. They still do."
Izzy sighed and kneeled down onto the couch, leaning over the back of the sofa on her forearms. "I know. It's just…we tell each other almost everything."
Killian stepped closer to the couch, sticking his hands into the pockets of his shorts. "I know. But we just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit. Liam and Jenny and one of Emma's friends were the only people to know until last week, when Emma finally told two of her closest friends. We just would like to keep it quiet for a little while longer."
Izzy nodded in understanding. "We won't tell anybody."
"Thank you," Killian mumbled, grasping his phone in his hand and pulling it out of his pocket again. "Now, I need to tell Emma that another two people know and that I would like her to accompany me to the wedding."
Killian quickly typed out his text, knowing that Emma was probably in her scheduled nap at the moment and he did not wish to feel the wrath of waking her up when she already slept so little.
Hello, Swan. I thought I should tell you that Graham and Izzy are now aware of our status. Worry not: they promised to keep it a secret. And when I see you tonight, I have something to ask of you. I look forward to seeing you tonight, love.
And when he returned to the set three hours later with no response from Emma, when it was nearing six and he knew she would've seen her phone during her trek to work, a knot of anxiety set deep within Killian's chest.
He knew something was wrong.
It was nearing midnight when Killian reached The Frozen Heart, tugging the door open and stepping into the air-conditioned building. To his luck, Elsa was standing at the front tonight and she quickly ushered him to his usual spot in the very rear of the lounge. It was very busy that night, waitresses and waiters weaving around the packed tables, but Killian could not see Emma anywhere. Elsa seemed to have noticed Killian's curiosity, as she kneeled down beside him as he took his place in the booth placed against the wall.
"She's just in the bathroom right now," Elsa told Killian and he let out a breath of relief. But Elsa's face continued to look rather nervous and Killian furrowed his eyebrows, scooting further down the booth to allow Elsa to sit beside him. Once there was enough room, Elsa sat down beside Killian and shyly tucked a piece of her hair, loose from her long braid, behind her ear. "I think something's wrong."
"Why?" Killian asked quietly, keeping his face turned away from the crowd so nobody could see the famous Killian Jones talking intently with a woman, even if she was the owner of the lounge.
Killian was well aware of how rumors spread, quickly like a fire that cannot be doused with water.
Elsa sighed and began fidgeting in her seat-crossing and uncrossing her legs, nibbling on her bottom lip, and playing with the end of her braid. "She's just-she's not herself today. She just looks empty. I don't know what happened. I asked her if she wanted to leave early, but she's not having it."
Killian knew that would probably explain as to why she hadn't responded to his text, but it still made him nervous. He never enjoyed seeing Emma in pain or angry, even when they first met. And after the month of knowing each other, that hadn't changed. Killian didn't want Emma to be sad about anything and he desperately wanted to know what was wrong. There was a niggling fear in the back of his mind that she was angry at him again.
"She's going to be singing soon, but after that, I want you to try to talk to her," Elsa told Killian, beginning to slide back to the edge of the booth to go back to work. "She's going to brush it off, which I'm sure you already know. But keep asking her. Try to get her to leave early because I don't want her to work herself to death when she's already struggling with something. Tell her I'll cover for her and just…talk to her. Please, Killian."
And Killian didn't waste a moment before nodding his head and murmuring a quiet "Yes" to Elsa. Elsa smiled politely at Killian as she stood from the booth and walked back toward the front door to greet any new customers. Killian reclined in his seat, trying to hide his face in the shadows of the low lighting. He eyed the lounge, looking at the rushing waitresses and loud guests, and wished that Emma wasn't upset.
He may not know what was wrong, but Killian still wished Emma wasn't distressed by whatever was bothering her. He was going to take Elsa's advice, but he knew Emma would fight it. Even if it had been only a month of them knowing each other, Killian knew Emma. He knew she tried to hide her pain behind a smile and a quick banter.
He knew because that's how he was.
And when Killian finally spotted Emma walking out of the bathroom, seeing exactly what Elsa meant when she said that Emma looked empty, he knew he had to find out what was bothering her. It wasn't to quench his own curiosity; it was to help take the burden off of Emma's shoulders, because she did not deserve to bear it on her own.
She took the burden of Milah's death off of his shoulders.
Killian wanted to do the same.
He watched Emma as she stepped onto the small stage, saying something to the man behind the piano. She didn't say anything before she began singing, a soft tune that Killian hadn't heard in quite a while. Emma began singing "Skyscraper," gripping the microphone stand tightly in her hands. He noticed that Emma spotted him in the back of the room, as if she expected him there.
(And she did, because Killian always tried his hardest to be here Thursday through Sunday night to watch her sing.)
He could see the pain behind Emma's eyes and he wanted to kiss away the frown lines in her forehead and on the sides of her mouth. He wanted to pull her close and just let her lie there because if anybody deserved a peaceful life, it was Emma. He may not know much about her at this point in time, but Killian could see that she had a hard life. He could see it in the way that she carried herself, from what she said the very first time they talked in her apartment, from the hardness behind her eyes.
Emma had known pain and Killian wanted to kiss it all away.
Killian noticed that the talking amongst the customers had ceased as they all listened to Emma sing. He noticed that that happened whenever Emma took to the stage, but this time, it bothered Killian. Sure, he loved the fact that these customers could hear Emma's voice, but they weren't listening to the pain behind it. They were blinded by the fact that she had a gorgeous voice, one that could easily belong on the radio, and weren't hearing the agony that accompanied each note. They weren't seeing how Emma was pouring her entire soul out with each lyric.
Killian's heart pounded and a knot twisted in his throat because what happened?
The song came to an end and a low applause swept over the crowd. Killian could see that Emma was still emotional, even as the pianist began playing the notes to the next song. He knew that whenever he was feeling emotional over something, he would play his guitar or just sing to help get the emotions out. And with how Emma began singing "Human," Killian could see that that was what Emma was doing. He listened to the lyrics and he could tell that something was making her question everything.
Maybe it was someone or something from her past.
A voice in the back of Killian's mind whispered it could be you.
His eyes never wavered from her form as she stood beside the piano and sang. He wanted to talk to her, to hear about what happened during the few days he hadn't seen her. They were soul mates; he should be there to help Emma with whatever problems she may face. He wanted to hear about what was bothering her. He wanted to ease her worries, to smooth the frown line on her forehead with his thumb and have her to curl close around him.
Just like how Emma took care of him when he told her about Milah.
The song ended (far too soon for Killian's liking, as he could listen to Emma sing for hours and days) and Emma hurriedly walked off of the stage, applause filling the room. Killian wanted to stand up and speak with her, but he knew it would be far too busy to do so without drawing attention to themselves. But as Killian glanced back at the front door and noticed Elsa nodding at him, Killian decided that this was the best chance he was going to have before Emma's work day ended.
Killian turned his head back to see Emma ducking into the hallway that led to the bathrooms in the lounge. Killian quickly stood from the booth and followed her into the hallway, only ten or so feet from his table. And it was as if Emma had expected him to follow her, as she stood two feet from Elsa's office door at the end of the hallway.
"Emma," Killian murmured as he walked toward her, stopping a foot shy of her. He kept his back toward the hallway so nobody would recognize him as the celebrity heartthrob he was.
"You're here," Emma replied just as quietly and Killian saw a certain type of pain in her eyes.
"Of course I am. I wouldn't miss this for the world, darling," Killian responded and Emma finally-finally-smiled politely at him. It was a small little thing, but Killian would take it. "Emma-"
"I need to go back to work," Emma said quickly, clearly avoiding the topic of her pain because she knew Killian could see it well. Emma stepped to walk around him, her heels clacking on the tile floor of the hallway.
"Emma, please talk to me," Killian said lowly, catching Emma's arm in his hand as she tried to walk around him to return to work. "Something is bothering you."
Emma slowly shook her head and looked up at Killian. He could see unshed tears building behind her eyes and his heart broke because he wanted to know who the hell hurt her. "Not here."
"Is it something I did, love?" Killian asked, his voice cracking on the last word because he couldn't bear another fight with Emma.
Emma immediately shook her head, turning to face him fully. Killian's hand dropped from her arm and Emma squeezed it in her hand before he was able to let go. "No. Of course not, Killian. Why would you think that?"
"You didn't answer my text from earlier. I thought I must've done something wrong again since you always have your phone on you," Killian replied and he noticed Emma gulp, her throat bobbing with the action.
"Well, uh, my phone is sorta broken at the moment," Emma replied tightly and he was sure that this was somehow connected to her despair. "So, it isn't you."
A weight lifted off of Killian's chest, but questions still needed to be answered.
"Then who is it, Emma?" Killian asked, twisting his body an inch to look at Emma. "Elsa is worried. I'm worried. What is it?"
Emma's jaw visibly clenched and she looked everywhere else besides Killian's eyes, like some sort of caged animal. He recognized the look she had on her face and Killian hated that he had put it on her face. But this was how Liam got Killian to talk, no matter what. This was all Killian knew.
"I can't do this here, Killian," Emma responded and he saw her gulp again as tears built up behind her eyes. "Not right now."
"Look, Elsa told me that she'd cover for you if you decided to leave early," Killian told Emma, turning just a few inches more to face Emma head-on. "It's your decision as to what you want to do, but I'm letting you know that the option is there if you need it."
Killian could see the internal fight behind Emma's eyes. He knew that she was the type to just ignore her pain and just continue to work as if it wasn't there. But Killian hoped for her own sake that she would just give in this one time, as to not work herself to the bone and to the brink and have her suddenly break.
Emma sighed and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, where it had fallen into her face. "I'll talk to Elsa. Wait for me outside."
Killian nodded and leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Emma's forehead before he walked back down the hallway and through the busy lounge. He stepped outside, the humid night sticking to his skin, and Killian reclined against the brick wall beside the front door of the lounge. He knew Emma didn't like missing work because missing this money could mean the different between her having a place to live and being suddenly homeless.
But her well-being had to come first.
It was a few minutes later that Emma came walking out of the lounge, with her purse high up on her shoulder and her hair tossed up into a high bun with wisps of her hair flying in the gentle wind of the night. As she and Killian walked to the curb of the sidewalk to await a taxi, Emma muttered that Elsa would be taking her tables for the night. Killian already knew as much, but it seemed to help Emma rest easy, knowing that Elsa did not find a problem with Emma having to leave early.
The taxi ride didn't take long to drive only a few blocks uptown to where Emma's apartment was. They sat on opposite sides of the cab, with Killian's head down so the driver didn't recognize him. But he sneaked peeks over at Emma, who was staring at the tangled mess of her hands in her lap. She seemed still relatively uneasy about whatever was plaguing her mind and Killian only hoped that he could help ease her mind.
Killian didn't like seeing Emma in pain and he hoped he could help her, as she helped him.
The taxi pulled up to the sidewalk just outside of Emma's apartment building and they exited together, only after Emma practically threw the money at the driver so Killian wouldn't pay. They walked in silence into the building and into the elevator, which slowly took the two of them up to Emma's floor. The apartment building was practically empty, other than the security guard in the front lobby, so Killian wasn't too worried about keeping his head down.
The jingling of Emma's keys echoed in the empty hallway as they stepped off of the elevator and turned right to walk toward her apartment. Not too far down, Emma slid her key into the lock of the apartment door and swung it open. She allowed Killian to walk into the apartment ahead of her, who stepped into the front hallway where his motorcycle boots clacked against the hardwood flooring. Emma's heels matched the sound as she walked in behind him, locking the door with a flip of the deadbolt.
Killian walked into the main room with Emma trailing behind him and he heard the sudden clatter of her heels as she kicked them off, sending them across the room toward her bed. Killian turned around to watch Emma toss her purse onto her dresser, just beside the archway where they just came through. He could see the pressure building behind her eyes with every little movement. It felt as though she was trying to put off the inevitable conversation about whatever was bothering her.
And Killian was sure that that was what was happening.
Emma moved to the front of her dresser to take off the necklace and rings she was wearing, avoiding any eye contact with Killian. Killian turned to look at her because she needed to talk at some point.
"Emma," Killian said simply and Emma turned, walking two steps over to Killian and pulling on the lapels of his leather jacket to crash her lips against his.
Killian knew that she was doing this to avoid the discussion of her worries and that he should not be doing this, but with how her lips felt against his, he simply couldn't help but kiss back in kind. His hands lifted up to cup her face and his fingers tangled in her loose bun as her fingers tightened around the smooth leather to press herself closer to him. Emma moaned against his mouth as his tongue trailed against her bottom lip, quickly sucking it into his mouth to nibble on the soft skin there.
He had to stop, but dear God, Killian was not strong enough for that.
Killian was becoming lost in the gentle press of her lips against his. He wanted to remain in this moment forever, hearing Emma's low moaning and feel her tongue slide against his eagerly. Her hands slid down to beneath his jacket, wrapping around his waist as she pressed herself against him more forcefully. It was with the press of her hips against Killian's that jerked Killian from his thoughts and fantasies (because of course he was thinking about how Emma would sound with him buried deep inside of her-)
Killian pulled his lips from Emma's, noticing the way she chased after them, and said, "Emma, please talk to me. What happened?"
Emma's fingers tightened around Killian's shirt from underneath his jacket and she let out a deep breath, sighing with the weight of the world on her shoulders. "It's Diane."
Killian furrowed his eyebrows because he knew that name-"Your adoptive mother?"
Emma nodded and stepped back a small step, letting Killian's hands fall from the sides of her face. "She called me today, using my dad's phone." Killian tilted his head in confusion, which Emma noticed, and she continued, "I still keep in contact with my dad. Not very often, but we talk still. And well, he apparently left his phone at home when he went to work today and Diane saw that we had been talking."
Emma took her hands from Killian's waist and quickly crossed them over her chest tightly, her eyes glancing to the ground. "And she just reminded me that I can't be happy with a life like this and that I'm a goddamn failure at everything and that Neal had just the right idea when he left-"
Neal?
"Wait, wait, wait, Emma-"
"And no man wants a girl who can barely afford her rent and is some lowly lounge singer and will never amount to anything," Emma continued rambling, angrily wiping at the tears coming down from her eyes. "Because Diane is always right and you won't want to support me for the rest of our lives and you'll eventually get sick of me wasting your money and won't want me around anymore, even if you're my soul mate, so why even fucking try-"
Killian stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Emma, pulling her against him and pressing a kiss to the side of her head because this woman still had such a hold over Emma's life and Emma did not deserve those things that wretched woman said to her. Emma immediately wrapped her arms tightly around Killian's waist, burrowing her face into his neck as she took deep breaths to calm the tears building behind her eyes.
"It's just not fucking fair. I haven't talked to the woman in four years and she still has this control over my life and I hate her because whenever I talk to her, I end up feeling like this and I just wish she never came into my life," Emma muttered into Killian's neck, letting out a deep sigh. "I'd rather still be an orphan than have that bitch as my mother."
"Emma, to be entirely honest, you shouldn't believe an ounce of what that woman said," Killian murmured against her head.
"Why? She's always right, Killian," Emma said in a defeated tone as her arms tightened around Killian's waist.
"Because if this woman was so daft as to think that she should abandon a brilliant woman like you simply because you wanted to follow your own path in life, then she obviously has no idea what she's talking about," Killian replied and he felt Emma snort against his shoulder. "I'd like to think that I know myself better than Diane, and I know that I would never abandon you, Emma."
"Even though Diane is right?"
Killian pulled back and moved his hands to cup Emma's face. He looked into Emma's jade eyes, still shining with unshed tears. "She isn't right, Emma. For the month I've known you, I know that you are capable of doing anything. And I want to be by your side when-"
"If-"
"When you reach your dreams," Killian continued, stroking Emma's cheeks with his thumbs. "And whatever Diane said is not going to stop me from wanting to be with you. It wouldn't bother me if I had to support you"-Emma opened her mouth to retort, but Killian continued-"but it also wouldn't bother me if you made more money than I did. All that would matter to me-all that matters to me now-is that you're happy."
Emma's eyes glittered in the bright lighting of her apartment. "You mean that?"
Killian nodded and smiled politely at her. "Aye."
Emma leaned forward and kissed Killian again, a gentle press of her lips against his. She pulled away before it could devolve into heavy breathing and eager hands.
"Well, now we need to figure out what to do about my broken phone," Emma sighed, taking her hands from Killian's waist and tucking her hair behind her ears.
"I've got a few spare ones at my place," Killian said, shrugging. "You could use one of those."
"Are you sure?" Emma asked, nibbling on her bottom lip.
Killian nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. I'll grab one in the morning and drop it off at your work possibly. I don't film tomorrow."
Emma furrowed her eyebrows. "You don't film tomorrow?"
Emma opened her mouth to undoubtedly ask more about what was currently going on with filming, but Killian pulled away and walked back toward the bed to strip off his boots. He laughed under his breath and said, "I can't give you any spoilers, love. You know that."
Emma laughed (and her smile weakened Killian's knees so much that he had to sit on the corner of her bed to regain his strength) and walked over toward Killian. "Thought I'd at least try."
Less than a half hour later, they were tangled in bed together, Emma's back pressed against Killian's front as they slowly fell to sleep. Killian knew there were clearly still aspects of Emma's past that he didn't know (especially about this Neal fellow), but he knew it could wait. All that mattered in this moment was that the weight was lifted off of Emma's chest and that she was no longer worried about what that wretched woman had said.
So Killian slowly fell asleep with the scent of Emma filling his nostrils and her soft skin against his.