Pink Camellias
10 – Tearing Away
SethSolare

- - -

By mid-afternoon, the Naru, Keitaro, and Mutsumi had finally finished up for the day. During lunch, they had decided to search the boards and grounds for both Motoko and Su. However, after finding the names, neither of the bodies that went with them could be found. By the afternoon, Mutsumi had checked her voice mail to find that the girls had gone home to see Tsuruko.

"Well, I guess I'm going to hang out on campus for a little while," Mutsumi said as they were about to leave the grounds for the train station.

"Huh? Why? Hot date?" Naru asked with a sly grin.

Mutsumi's eyes narrowed slightly, secretively, "Sort of."

"Wait, you really do have a date? That's cool! Is he hot?" Naru asked, her eyes glowing.

"Well, someone's gotta have a hot date once in a while. So, I'll leave you two alone," she said with a smile while bouncing away back into the school.

Keitaro looked puzzled at the whole event. "I've never seen her with a guy, though."

Naru looked over at him in disbelief. "You really are clueless, you know that? She totally meant us, you retard."

"Retard? That's romantic," Keitaro laughed.

"Hey, it's your problem. I'm totally the brains of this whole thing. You, on the other hand, haven't got brain or brawns," she sighed sarcastically.

"Yeah?" And he quickly scooped Naru up, lifting her up by her legs and back. He held her up with his own strength in a cheesy romantic pose. "Heh, I look pretty awesome, now."

But as he leaned down to kiss her, his lips met with a quick jab to the face. "I'm wearing a mini-skirt!" she screamed, as she straightened out her clothes. "Geez, knowing you, after flashing everyone here, you were gonna feel me up."

Keitaro quickly snapped out of his slightly wounded state. "Well, at least I do have the brawns part down."

Naru giggled, as she leaned over to kiss him. "You silly boy." She took hold of his cheeks and brought him closer. His warm face sank into her hands. Slowly, the sting he felt from earlier disappeared.

She let him go, slowly, and backed away. "Heh, cute," was all he said.

"Oh, see? Now you made me do something really weird in public," she said, her face turning red. "And Mutsumi's right, you rarely take me out on dates, now. Now that you've got me, are you done trying?"

"What? No way! We'll go on a date this weekend," Keitaro said nervously, his voice cracking slightly.

"Hey! Maybe we can bring Kitsune and Motoko with us. Double dates are nice."

"I don't know. Shouldn't they go on their first date alone?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. But you only say that because you're all traditional and stuff. You wouldn't even let me ask you out," Naru said. Keitaro, in whatever nervousness he had, decided not to say much after that. The two walked on, then, in silence.

Once they finally arrived at the train station, they boarded the train back to Hinata. By that time, Keitaro had finally started to relax a bit. "So, do you think they're alright?"

"Huh? What do you mean by that?"

"Like, you know, as far as their being together. Tsuruko came here. And knowing Motoko's life, I doubt Tsuruko would even be remotely tolerant of a lesbian relationship," Keitaro said softly.

"That's insightful of you," Naru observed. She sat silently, thinking to herself. After a few seconds of silence, she couldn't think of a thing. "It's just that they have to figure out what to do. And knowing Motoko, she'd definitely try and hide it for as long as she could."

"Isn't that a bit unfair to Kitsune? To hide their relationship from her family?"

"It's not about fairness, it's about staying together. Look at it this way, if Tsuruko finds out, she might force Motoko to marry some random guy she picks out. Motoko'll be miserable. Kitsune'll become distant, depressed, and miserable. It's just not going to be good at all," Naru looked down at her shoes as she said this. She wanted her best friends to be happy. Part of her, though, knew that there was just too much in the way.

"Well, what should we do?" Keitaro asked.

Naru looked up at him with a gentle smile. "That's why I love you. Always wanting to be there for everyone," she kissed him softly. "But I don't think this is something that you can or should fix."

Keitaro blushed at her cute demeanor. He let out a small breath and a smile, "Maybe Tsuruko will be okay with it."

Naru's smile slowly disappeared, and she tilted her head back and started at the ceiling. "I honestly doubt that. Tsuruko might be happy about her sister getting in and all, but I doubt it'll be wonderful news to find out that someone in her family's bi – let alone in a lesbian relationship. It's not exactly an okay thing, right now.

"The fact that we're okay with it is great. We all love Kitsune and Motoko. We all want them to be happy. But Motoko's family is all about tradition. They're probably not as accepting," Naru said with a sad voice.

Keitaro, reflecting on the words, said nothing else the whole way home. Naru did likewise.

- -

"I'm so happy for you!" Tsuruko exclaimed, hugging her little sister. "I'm so proud, too. After all this time, you've done it." She cooed and giggled, rather uncharacteristically, as she clenched Motoko tightly.

"Th-thanks, sis. Really," Motoko stuttered, slightly unable to breathe.

Tsuruko released her tight hold before walking back over to the couches in the lobby. Haruka poured a set of tea for the group as they all sat down. Kitsune sat next to Motoko, uncomfortably trying to think of something to say.

"Maybe I should say something." Kitsune fumbled around in her head for a list of topics. Of course, the whole ride home, and in complete silence, no one could think of anything to say to Tsuruko. "We already made it past the obvious. 'Tokyo U, yay!' But," and her mind trailed off.

"You know, I knew for certain that once you had Keitaro's help and motivation, you'd give it all you had. And for that," Tsuruko reached behind the couch quickly as if she was a kid again, "I give you this."

Tsuruko pulled out, first, a long box. Then, she reached again for a large suitcase. She pointed to the long box first, "That, my wonderful sister, is the thing you wanted most as a child," she said. "In the suitcase, I noticed your style of clothes changing. So, I thought, 'I should be a big sister and buy my little sister some new clothes.' So I did." Tsuruko made a huge smile and, from the look of it, could just barely hold back her giggling.

"Wow! You gave me your sword?" Motoko smiled as she ripped open the first box. True enough, Tsuruko's sword was in the box. "This was a forged blade. It was made for you. You sure you want to just give this to me?" Motoko asked shyly.

"Oh, come on. We get forged blades as gifts, now. We are a famous school. So who cares who made it? This particular sword is my gift to you for your growing up," Tsuruko said. "The clothes are just bonus."

"Thank you," Motoko stood up and leeched onto her sister. "It means a lot to me. Really."

"Heh, great. Now we just have to find you a husband and we're all set," Tsuruko beamed. Motoko froze for a second, hoping that her sister wouldn't notice.

"Oh I found someone alright." Motoko told herself sarcastically. Motoko released her sister, straightened out her shirt, and sat back down. Motoko forced a smile as best as she could as Tsuruko obliviously smiled on.

Haruka glanced back and forth at the two. She watched as Motoko shifted again and again, for a few seconds. Kitsune did the exact same thing. Then, Su, who had decided to wait outside in case anything should happen, finally came inside. "I guess I should do something," Su thought to herself.

"Haruka, why don't we help Tsuruko get her stuff into her room. Motoko must be all tired and stuff from celebrating," Su offered.

"Su! I heard you got in, too! I'm happy for you. I know you and Motoko are best friends, and I knew you'd look out for her." Tsuruko stood and dashed over to Su to hug her.

"Well, you're just a barrel of happy, today, aren't you?" Su laughed.

"Of course. But, I think Motoko's tired and would probably like a bath or something. I might come down for one myself after I get settled in," Tsuruko said as Haruka gathered up her things. Su, after being released from her tight hug, did likewise. The three women disappeared upstairs and Motoko and Kitsune were left in the lobby.

"So, bath?" Kitsune asked.

"I don't want to tell her," Motoko said, as soon as she knew Tsuruko was out of hearing range. "It's unfair to you. But we really shouldn't tell her."

"Tell her what? Because, really, I have no idea what you're talking about," Kitsune smiled and patted Motoko's cheek. "You're just getting all delirious from today."

Motoko's face shifted from worried to slightly relaxed, relieved, and still worried. "Bath," she said simply, standing from the sofa.

- -

Su dropped off Tsuruko's luggage in the empty room, marked 305, next to Naru's. Su said absolutely nothing as she left the room and Tsuruko and Haruka sat down to talk. As she left, she heard the two women discuss marriage and weddings. Two middle-aged women talking of love seemed rather old for Su.

Su wanted to just go back to her room after a long day and train ride from the school. Now that she was alone again, her mind drifted back to Shinobu. She thought of Keisuke. His betrayal and her betrayal made her feel hellish thinking about it. She kept wondering if Shinobu would even forgive her.

"Ugh, maybe it's just my getting all feminine. Mood swings rock," she thought sarcastically. "School was great, at least." She sighed as she walked drudgingly to her room. She passed the stairs and thought differently.

"I need to restock my fridge," she thought as she turned back for the stairs. She went down to the second floor. When she arrived, she peeked from the stairwell down the hallway to Shinobu's room. In her head, she hoped to find the girl sitting at the edge of the floor, looking out over the city. Finding nothing, she slid open a window and looked up at the roof of the building.

Not seeing Shinobu anywhere, she closed the window and went further down into the lobby. When she got there, Shinobu was sitting on the couch clutching a can of soda. Shinobu's back was turned away from the stairs. Her body was still and silent. She was hunched over, elbows on her knees, eyes facing the front door. Shinobu looked entirely lost in whatever she was doing.

Su, from above, stared directly down at Shinobu from barred railing of the stairs. She slid down, clutching two of the thin wood pillars supporting the handrail and sat on a step directly behind and above Shinobu. Pressing her forehead to the pillars, she watched Shinobu do nothing at all. Su, feeling randomly annoyed by her hair, removed the band holding her it up. She shook it slightly before putting her head on the pillars again.

Sticking her arms through the railing, Su fumbled a bit with her hair tie above Shinobu. She did likewise with any way to start a conversation. Nothing came to her. Whatever words of "I'm sorry" or "I wish none of this had happened" seemed rather useless. She simply stared down at Shinobu's dark hair.

"You know, I've known you long enough to know that you walk very heavily and slowly when you're sad," Shinobu started. Her voice was calm, quiet. She put her can on the table and continued to stare forward.

"I know." Su didn't know how else to respond. The words just came out in whatever meaningless fashion they did.

"I've also noticed that you've been walking slower for a while," Shinobu continued. This elicited no response from the girl above. It was quiet for a few minutes as time just went by. Shinobu opened her mouth again, "Did it really bother you that much that Keisuke was with me?"

"No. It didn't," Su whispered.

Shinobu flipped her head up and stared directly at Su. "Stop lying!" she yelled. "I'm so tired of you thinking that you need to protect me and do this and that. Be honest with me or something! Don't just sit around looking like you're okay with all your sacrifices and then end up killing yourself over it!"

Su looked away. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly. She said nothing.

Shinobu sat back down, taking a quick drink from her can. "You know," she started again softly, "there was a time when you were so selfish. All you wanted was to have fun. Really, that's all you ever did. Suddenly, you became someone entirely different. You gave up your selfishness one day and that was it. So what happened to you?"

Su looked back down at Shinobu. She watched as Shinobu tucked her growing hair behind her ear and threw the rest back. From above, Su dropped her hair tie with great accuracy next to Shinobu. Without looking back up, Shinobu took the tie and wrapped her hair with it.

"I never told you why I told Keisuke I wouldn't date him in the first place," she said. "One day, behind the school, he just went and told me he wanted to be with me. He kissed me and I loved it. I wanted it to be like that forever. It just felt good, no matter who it was."

Shinobu listened intently. She swallowed and closed her eyes.

"I've kissed a lot of people before. I'm your Kitsune. And you're Naru, my giving up guys for you. But I'm not happy being by myself, Shinobu," she said. Her voice died away, "I don't want to be happy.

"Every guy I've ever kissed, I wanted. I wanted to be with them more than anything in the world. Guy after guy was the same thing. Each time, all they wanted was to just kiss me and grope me and leave. It hurt, every time. But I kept jumping in hoping that each time would be different. And it never was. And every time some guy left me, all I wanted was more. I wanted to be happy. Nothing else mattered except my hope that the next would make me happy. I wanted it. Then Keisuke actually wanted to be with me.

"And you know what?" she paused. She sniffed before continuing, "I didn't want that. I wanted him to just come and go, like every other guy. I-" her voice stopped. She tried to shake the idea from her head but she just continued. "I'm addicted to feeling hurt. Since then, all I've wanted is to just feel like crap. That way, whenever I'm happy, I can be entirely and totally encapsulated with it."

Shinobu sat, staring down at the floor now. "It doesn't make sense," Su continued. "But I didn't want him to just want to be with me. I wanted him to hate me so I could be with him again to feel happy again. I'm just so screwed up."

"Su, you're not screwed up. You just haven't been completely happy. Those guys were just temporary fixes. It's not that you want to be hurt, it's just that they aren't enough for you," Shinobu stood up and walked up the stairs. She sat down next to her friend who had tears streaming down her face.

"I don't want to wait forever. I'm just 18, and I'm saying I don't want to wait forever. But I don't. I want to be really happy. But everyone leaves me. Everyone always wants to leave me," she turned from the bars and cried into Shinobu. "And now you want to leave me. You hate me. I betrayed you. I took your boyfriend because I'm selfish. I just want everything for myself."

"Su, you're my best friend. Keisuke wasn't all that great of a guy anyway. He's the selfish one. And all those other guys just don't deserve someone like you," Shinobu comforted her. "Someone does. But none of them do." Shinobu stood her friend up from the uncomfortable stairs and led her to the couches. Su plopped down as Shinobu grabbed a pillow from the one of the ends. Placing it on her lap, Shinobu laid Su down sideways on the couch with her head on the pillow.

"I'm sorry, Shinobu. I'm sorry I hurt you." Su whispered the words through the deep breaths of her crying. She groped around for Shinobu's hand as she clenched it.

"It's okay. I know you are. I'm sorry I yelled at you. It was Keisuke's fault anyway." Su, slightly relieved, cried harder at the words. Shinobu amused herself slightly with the sudden change of roles. She suddenly felt like the stronger girl. And Su was the one who needed the help.

"I'm always going to know you'd never want to hurt me Su," Shinobu said calmly as she ran her hands through Su's messy, loose hair.

- -

Motoko and Kitsune into the open air baths. When they got outside, Kitsune dropped her towel to the ground and jumped on in. Motoko stayed on the edge, sitting on the rocks. She kept her towel on.

Kitsune, after noticing no splashing sound after hers or a body next to her, opened her eyes to find Motoko far away from her. She scooted over to Motoko, who had even noticed that Kitsune was next to her now, and started brushing her knee with her fingertips. Shaking her head, Motoko snapped out of her little trance and glanced down at her girlfriend.

"My girlfriend. I don't know. I feel guilt for you calling you that. I feel," her mind halted. Even her head, she tried not to say it. But, as she remembered more and more that her sister wished her to find a male counterpart, her voice within finished with, "dirty."

"If it's bugging you that much, we don't have to be around each other while you're sister's here." Kitsune stopped playing with Motoko's leg and kept her hands to herself.

"Don't. Don't stop doing that," Motoko whispered. "It's nice."

Kitsune didn't do anything. "I already know it's annoying you that you can't say anything. You probably wish you hadn't started something like this so close to your sister visiting. It might've given you more time to develop courage to tell her." Kitsune inched away from Motoko slightly.

"I honestly do care about you Kitsune." Motoko tried to move closer to Kitsune, only to have the other move away again. "You know that right?"

"I know you do. You're a kind and wonderful woman. I'm lucky that you even wanted to have a relationship with me even though I'm…" Kitsune sighed. "I'm a woman. I'm surprised in fact. For the few days we've been together, I've been entirely happy."

Kitsune kissed Motoko's hand and looked up into her eyes. "You make me happy."

Motoko smiled gently. Her old, warrior shell broke that moment. She felt herself become more of a woman. She felt loved. She felt happy. And she opened her mouth to speak, "Kitsune, you make me happy. You're the only person that's made me want to let down my guard and give in to someone. You make me want to give part of me to you."

"I know, which is why we can't have Tsuruko find out."

However, as she said this, a loud clack could be heard from behind them. The door had slid closed suddenly, rapidly. "Find out what?" Tsuruko asked, firmly. She clenched her towel to her chest with one hand, her sword in the other.

Kitsune stood up quickly from the baths and covered herself up with her towel. Motoko tired to discretely fumble around for her own sword which she didn't even bring with her in the first place. Her face turned to panic. Kitsune's did the same. "Wow, she found out much sooner than I even thought she could," Kitsune thought to herself.

Motoko looked at her sister in fear. In her mind, she had hoped to not have this conversation ever. However, she also knew that it was inevitable. "I'm tired of lying to her. Courage, Motoko."

"Tsuruko? I should be honest with you," Motoko's words came out firm as she stood. Her voice didn't quiver, and whatever courage she had in her built up quickly. "You want me to find a husband. But, right now, I'm dating a woman. Kitsune."

Tsuruko looked over at Kitsune and back to Motoko. Her features lightened slightly. "You? And her?" she said, her face contorting. She felt her neck stiffen as a chill ran down her spine. She looked back and forth at the two. Motoko and Kitsune stood still, waiting for a response.

"What have I done?" Motoko asked herself. She glanced at Kitsune who was frozen solid. She wanted, desperately, to take back the entire thing. However, no desire of hers would be fulfilled. And the desire for her sister to accept this situation…

"No. I will not stand to have my sister, my family, be like this," Tsuruko said. Motoko feared the sword in Tsuruko's hands. She awaited the attack. "For you to ask to be given time to study for college, to train longer, for all the leniency I have given you. I will not accept this. I will not let my sister live like this.

"We let you do as you please. I have been very kind and understanding of you. Our parents have allowed you to do whatever you were willing and able to do. And now, for you to turn to this."

"But, Tsuruko-"

"Did you not understand me? No. I am thoroughly disappointed in you, Motoko. For your family to support you and for you to spit back at us. You're coming home with me and are never to see this sinful girl again." Tsuruko commanded. And, without her bath, she turned back inside the Hinata House.

The two women stood entirely still, both of their spirits absolutely destroyed.

- - -

This is by far, one of my most favorite chapters. Sure, the foreshadowing at the beginning of the chapter made it very obvious what would happen. But, I wanted to show Naru and Keitaro have their little romantic moment changed entirely by the people around them. Throughout the series, the two of them had most of their relationship dictated by the other girls. It made the two of them seem like their friends were more important than their own happiness.

For the Shinobu/Su story, a lot of that is very personal, as I think I've said before. It's more or less a fictional character's interaction in a world event that I've come to understand. Sure, not every day can you easily forgive your best friend like that. However, you know, at that point, that however happy they seem, they need more help than you can even imagine.

As for the last part with Tsuruko, I didn't know how to make it more mean. I first wanted to make them happy. And, as happy as they were, to have it ripped from them in the same instant just made it feel horrible. The original plan was to draw it out, to make a chapter of them simply hiding it away and then having Tsuruko find out from Keitaro's stupidity. However, considering the Naru/Kei conversation at the beginning, that just seemed stupid. Also, it seemed much more horrible for the two girls in this scene than in a drawn out chapter version of it. I even feel bad that I wrote it .

SS