A/N: sorry about another long wait! this is more of a filler chapter and i really didn't think it'd take me so long to write it. but it's still pretty long. the next chapter is gonna be a doozy, as it's gonna be Regina and Robin's wedding and i just have a ton planned for that chapter. in the coming weeks, i have some birthday fics to write, so those have to come first right now. but i'll try to write the next chapter as quickly as i can. enjoy!
ps. there's some smuttiness at the beginning for your troubles. and if that isn't your thing, it isn't too much, so you can skip it if you'd like.
Killian stirred awake, his arms automatically tightening around Emma, who was still sleeping soundly against his chest. He slowly moved his head to the side to look down at Emma, whose hand was fisted tightly in his hoodie, which he didn't take off the night before. Actually, the both of them were still wearing the clothes they had worn out to the dinner at Mary Margaret and David's apartment. They were both a bit distracted at first to change, and after that, they had just simply fallen asleep together.
Killian's heart hurt at the thought of the pain Emma went through the previous night. If something of Milah's had suddenly come back into his life like that, he would've acted much the same way. He could not fault Emma for her reaction and all Killian wanted to do was to make sure that it never happened again. He wanted to keep Emma free from any pain because he cared for her too much to see her like that.
He lo-
No, he wouldn't complete the thought. Not until they had more time together and everything would certainly work out. Because much like Emma, Killian wouldn't be able to take another heartbreak. Milah's death very nearly killed him and if Emma decided that she couldn't be with him…Killian didn't know what he would do.
Killian mentally shook his head and looked back down at Emma, whose head had slowly moved up to his shoulder. Looking at Emma as she slept, Killian smiled because she looked so much younger and carefree. The worry lines in her forehead were faded away and Killian couldn't stop himself from reaching over with his free hand to gently brush the small indents in her skin and trapped a stray curl in between his fingers.
Not two seconds later, Emma's eyes slowly opened and she began to smile as she blinked away the last of the sleep from her eyes. Killian traced his thumb down her cheek and thumbed at the dent in her chin.
"Good morning, love," Killian muttered and Emma scooted closer to him, sending a shot of warmth into his heart.
"'Morning," Emma muttered back, her voice thick and heavy with sleep and Killian found that he wanted to hear that voice every morning.
(Even though Killian didn't want to believe that he was in love with Emma, his mind betrayed him every time.)
"Do you have work this morning?"
Emma shook her head against Killian's shoulder. "No. Granny gave me the morning off. She usually does whenever I have those dinners. She knows her granddaughter very well."
"Granddaughter?"
"Yeah. Ruby." Emma sat up a bit and furrowed her eyebrows as she looked down at Killian. "You didn't know?"
Killian shook his head. "No, I didn't."
"I guess there's a lot for you to learn, huh?"
Killian smiled as he said, "I think we've got plenty of time."
Emma smiled down at him. "I think so too."
Emma quickly kissed Killian in a gentle peck and moved from her spot on his chest, standing on her hardwood floors and stretching as much as she can. Her flannel shirt pulled up as she lifted her arms over her head, exposing a small bit of her stomach. Killian's stomach flipped at the exposed skin, wondering how the hell he's been able to retain the small bit of self-control he does have.
"Want some breakfast?" Emma asked, a smirk playing on her lips as she caught him staring at her.
"Sure," Killian murmured as he sat up in the bed and sat against the cold wall behind him.
"I only have eggs and some bread. Hope that's okay," Emma replied as she stepped over to the fridge that sat outside of the kitchen, swinging open the door to peer inside.
"That's perfect, love," Killian said, reaching for the remote that was perched beside the pillows at the top of the bed.
Killian heard Emma rummage around in the kitchen and the telltale sizzle of an egg hitting the hot skillet. He flipped on the television that was perched on top of Emma's dresser, against the opposite wall from the bed. The scent of cooked eggs and slightly burnt toast filled the air as Emma began humming a quiet tune from the kitchen. Killian smiled as he recognized the melody as the song he sang to her last night, as she laid crying against his shoulder.
He was happy to see that her demons were at bay, allowing her to return to the Emma he grew to care about. Of course, Killian would always care for her, even when the demons come screaming, but he was happy to see that she was back to her regular lovely self. His heart was overwhelmed as he saw her walking out of the kitchen, holding two plates full of scrambled eggs with cheese and buttered toast, because he was so under her spell. Killian looked into her eyes and smiled as he took the plate, observing the sly smile Emma returned to him.
"Actually, could you hold my plate for a minute?" Emma asked quickly and Killian graciously took the plate from her hand. "I need to take off this shirt. It's too hot."
And with Killian gulping back a knot in his throat, Emma stripped off the flannel shirt she wore the night before, revealing the white tank top she wore underneath and the very clear outline of her black bra.
Buggering fuck.
"You gonna be okay there?" Emma asked, raising her eyebrows and her voice taking on a teasing tone.
Killian silently cleared his throat as he offered Emma's plate back to her. "I'm fine."
Emma laughed under her breath as she took a seat next to Killian, the lines of her legs pressed against his side and Killian had to mentally cross himself to retain any sliver of self-control he had left. They sat in silence as they ate their respective breakfasts, watching whatever show was on the television. It was pleasant, not needing to fill the silence with mindless talking. They just allowed the television noise to fill the silent spaces and sat side by side. Killian's hair rose with every small brush of Emma's arm against his, even if he was still covered by the long-sleeve hoodie he wore the night before.
Killian glanced over at Emma every so often, noticing how quickly she ate the food in front of her, barely taking a breath between each bite. He wondered why that was, or if that was just simply the way she ate her food. Deep down, it didn't matter to Killian, whatever little quirks Emma had. He would stand by her side through everything, thick and thin.
No matter what strange little things she did.
"Do you like it?" Emma asked quietly as she moved to cross her legs, resting her now empty plate in her lap.
Killian nodded as he finished the final bite of his eggs. "It was very good, Emma. Thank you."
"Neal always seemed to enjoy my breakfasts," Emma replied, so quiet that Killian almost didn't catch it. "Or really, whenever I cooked."
Killian reached over and took her hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. "Are you feeling better from last night?"
Emma shrugged and looked up at Killian, smiling for a brief second. "I'm not sure. I think I feel better, but I don't know if I'll ever be completely okay."
Killian nodded because he understood what she meant. He'd never completely be over Milah's sudden death, but with time, the pain slowly began to fade away. He knew that's how it would be for Emma. "I'll be here to help you, if you want me to."
Emma smiled weakly at Killian again and nodded. "I want you to. And-umm-thank you for last night. I know it may seem like I still have feelings for him, but I don't."
Killian nodded, continuing to run his thumb along Emma's hand. "I know. I understand, Emma."
"I was just caught by surprise."
Killian nodded again. "It's happened to me, as well. There's nothing you need to apologize for."
"Just-thank you for all of it. For coming along and having dinner with us and not forcing me to explain myself. It meant a lot to me, Killian," Emma stated, moving on the bed to face Killian and her crossed legs knocking into Killian's.
"It was my pleasure to be there," Killian replied with a smile. "Even though according to your standards, it wasn't quite a typical meal."
Emma snorted. "Well you missed David threatening you and giving me a lecture. So that's three out of four."
"When you two were in the kitchen, Mary Margaret gave a long speech about hope and always knowing that you'd find you soulmate," Killian added.
"Then it was a typical dinner, I guess."
"Just out of curiosity, love-how exactly did David threaten me?"
"Just that if you break my heart, he'll cut off your dick and balls, shove the balls down your throat, and then beat you to death with your dick."
Killian's eyes widened almost comically. "That's quite imaginative."
"Only way David knows how."
"Although if I ever do break your heart, I think I'd practically beg for all of that."
Emma blushed, a beautiful shade of rose rising high on her cheeks. "You don't mean that."
"But I do."
And Killian did mean it. Even though he was keeping himself from mentally uttering those three little words, Killian knew that if he ever made the mistake of breaking Emma's heart, he would beg for punishment. He would beg for someone to rip his heart out and stomp on it until he was left a quivering mess of a human because Emma deserved nothing but love. If Killian ever unintentionally hurt her again, as he had with withholding his history with Milah…he didn't know what he would do.
Emma gulped and silently took the now-empty plates, carrying them over to the nearby kitchen. Killian heard the clattering of the dishes in the sink and he was honestly caught off guard when Emma reappeared as a siren straddling his lap, heat immediately running through his veins. She didn't waste a minute before ducking her head and catching Killian's lips in between hers, a moan tearing its way past his throat.
Killian's hands gripped her hips, his fingertips turning white from the pressure. His hips bucked up to meet Emma's denim-clad core and she gasped into his mouth, allowing Killian to sweep his tongue into Emma's mouth. He swallowed her groan and in a move that impressed himself, Killian pinned Emma underneath him on the bed. He couldn't stop himself from rubbing his aching cock against her, listening to Emma's high-pitched moaning and allowing her sounds to drive his motions.
Killian trailed his lips down to Emma's neck, his teeth grazing her soft skin as her nails drag down his clothed back. He wanted to bite down, to suck her skin into his mouth, to mark her as his for everyone to see. But Killian tried to keep his wits about himself, so he drew his mouth further south to the neckline of Emma's thin tank top.
"Jesus Christ," Emma murmured out in a husky tone that sent a bolt of desire down to his tightening trousers.
"No need to be formal. 'Killian' would suffice."
Emma laughed as she pushed Killian into a kneeling position. Killian furrowed his eyebrows until he noticed Emma moving into a sitting position and stripping off her tank top, exposing the black lace bra she had been taunting him with since the previous night.
"Two can play at that game, love," Killian practically growled out as he pulled his hoodie off and his shift over his head.
As soon as the shirt fell into a heap on the floor, Killian noticed how Emma gulped and how her green eyes darkened as they trailed up his exposed stomach and chest. And-well-Killian couldn't resist his own opportunity to bask in the glory and perfection that was Emma Swan.
"I feel like this is a bad idea," Emma spoke, her eyes firm on Killian's.
"If you don't want to do any-"
Killian's statement was cut off by Emma tugging his head down to her with her hands on either side of his head, drawing his lower lip in between her teeth. With that, Killian tumbled down, hovering over Emma as they laid in bed with her legs hitched up around his hips. Emma's nails scratched down Killian's bare back and he groaned into her mouth, propping himself up on his elbow to slowly drag his fingers down Emma's stomach.
Her breathing hitched when his fingers ran across the edge of the jeans she was still wearing from the night before. Killian's eyes darted up to hers, silently asking for permission to continue further than they have before.
"Yes," Emma whispered, her throat bobbing with a heavy gulp and Killian bent back down to kiss her.
Killian unbuttoned her jeans and began tugging them down her hips at an agonizingly slow pace. Emma lifted her hips for a moment for Killian to peel them past her hips and when she settled back down, Killian propped himself up on an elbow by Emma's head, bending down to kiss her as his fingers slowly moved past her lace underwear. With every small step of the way, Killian would meet eyes with Emma and make sure that she wasn't rethinking the whole thing.
Killian prided himself on being a gentleman, especially when that meant continuously checking on the comfort of Emma.
"Um, just take it slow," Emma told Killian quietly. "It's been a while?"
Killian raised an eyebrow as he looked down at Emma. "How long's a while?"
Emma shrugged and muttered, "Six months-ish."
Killian's eyes widened for a moment because six months? But he schooled his face back to neutral so he didn't offend Emma. "I can take it slow."
And he noticed how Emma gulped at his words and his fingers moved through her trimmed curls, finding her wet and wanting and this may have been a bad idea when Killian was eternally two seconds away from just fucking her.
But no. They agreed that they would take it slow and that's what Killian would do.
"Jesus Christ," Killian groaned as he dropped his head to take Emma's lips between his, his fingers gently pressing and finally sliding into her warm heat. Emma moaned into his mouth and his cock grew harder at the sound and the feeling of her warm and tight around his fingers.
He began slowly thrusting his fingers, listening to Emma's moaning to spur him on. His cock was painfully hard, but with how Emma's breathing hitched and how her nails continued to scrap down his back, he didn't want to stop until Emma found her release. She choked out another moan as Killian swept his tongue across her lower lip and he couldn't stop himself from gently biting down on the plump lip. Her hips pressed up against his hand as his fingers slowly pumped inside of her, his palm grinding against her clit, which made Emma gasp into Killian's mouth.
"Oh fuck," Emma groaned out and Killian wanted to always hear her voice like this -heavy with lust and desire. He wanted it tattooed inside of his mind, so he would never forget the way Emma Swan sounded when she wanted.
His lips trailed down to the tops of her breasts, which were spilling out of her bra in an agonizing fashion, and he bit down on her soft flesh. He listened to her mewls of pleasure as he sucked down on her breast and his fingers began working harder and faster against her, his palm continuing to rub against her clit with every motion.
"Killian, ohmygod," Emma whined out as her hips pressed against his hand again and Killian could feel her beginning to tighten around his fingers.
"Come for me, Emma," Killian rasped out, his erection digging into Emma's side and he thought he would surely burst. "I want to feel you come around my fingers."
And it seemed as though his words pushed her over the edge, her mouth dropping open in a silent gasp and her hips bucking up into Killian's hand. His pants grew painfully tight as she rode his fingers and he was going to need to relieve this pressure building in his cock before he combusted. Emma placed her hand over his and pushed it away, breathing heavily as her head dropped against Killian's propped-up arm.
"Holy shit," Emma muttered as her chest rose and fell. "Holy shit."
"I take it that you enjoyed yourself?" Killian asked, still painfully hard in the tight confines of his jeans.
Emma snorted. "I guess so."
Killian feigned offense, gasping sharply as he placed his hand on his chest. "'I guess so?'"
Emma laughed into his arm and pinched his side. "Shut up."
Killian ducked down and pecked Emma sweetly on the lips, pulling back and smiling down at her. "Unfortunately, I have to leave for a work out session with Graham and our trainer."
Emma's bottom lip stuck out in a pout and Killian found himself wanting to nibble down on the plump lip. "Okay."
"I'll be at the lounge tonight though. I promise."
Emma's lips quirked upwards. "I'll save you a song, cap'n."
Killian quickly kissed Emma again and slowly stood from the bed, grabbing his button-down and hoodie from the floor beside the bed. He tugged the clothing on and ran his hand through his hair while Emma slid her white tank-top back over her body, not at all hiding the perfect body that lied beneath. He clenched his jaw in an attempt to retain his wavering self-control and remembered that there was something he needed to discuss with Emma before Regina and Robin's wedding the coming weekend.
"Out of curiosity, have you found a dress for the wedding?" Killian asked while tucking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.
Emma shook her head as she stepped over to him, thumbs hooked through her belt loops. "No. I'm going with Ruby and Mary Margaret on Wednesday once I get off. We'll probably go to Macy's or something like that." Emma furrowed her eyebrows and slightly tilted her head to the side. "Why?"
Killian was silent for a moment because he knew he had to tread lightly in this coming conversation. "I was actually wondering if you would allow me to pay for your dress."
Emma nibbled on her bottom lip and sighed. "Killian-"
"I know you want to pay for it on your own. But I want to give you this one thing, Emma," Killian pleaded, stepping closer to Emma. "You can pay for the next however many meals we have together, or pay for anything until you feel that you have paid me back-which I don't want you to feel like you do owe me. I just want to be able to pay for the stunning dress that you so choose to wear to the wedding. Because no matter what you wear, I'm sure you'll look better than the bride."
A light blush filled Emma's cheeks and she smiled (and his heart jumped at the beautiful sight). "I'll be sure to tell that to Regina when I meet her."
"If you want me to disappear and to never be seen again, then go ahead."
Emma laughed and slowly nodded, easing the tension around Killian's heart. "Alright. And I'll pay you back with however many meals it takes to cover the cost of the dress. I promise."
He wanted her to know that he honestly didn't need to be paid back, but he knew that Emma wouldn't want to feel indebted to him. So Killian nodded and smiled. "Of course. There's a shop in the Upper West Side that I've gone to for every suit I've needed for any occasion. The woman there is very generous to me and she's very secretive about her clients."
Emma raised her eyebrows. "I take it that you've used her for more than just your suits?"
Killian felt his ears redden and he scratched behind his ear in a nervous tick. "I'm afraid you're correct, love. But she's been very good to me and she has one of the best selections of formal gowns in the city, according to Regina. She has my information on file, so you don't need any of my credit cards-"
"Oh darn-"
Killian pinched Emma's arm and she laughed, pulling away. "Sorry, sorry. Continue."
"She'll just add the dress to my tab, so to speak," Killian continued, taking Emma's hands in his. "The only stipulation I have is that the dress must be black, given Regina's colors for the wedding and you do not want to start on her wrong side by buying the wrong color. Other than that, buy whatever you would like and treat yourself, love."
"Ruby and Mary Margaret will enjoy this," Emma said with a wide smile.
Killian chuckled. "I don't doubt that. The woman's name is Celeste, so you'll have to ask for her when you arrive. I'll call her this week to expect you around 8:30 Wednesday night?"
Emma nodded. "And you'll text me the address?"
"Of course."
"And it just needs to be black?"
Killian nodded. "Can't afford to have you upstage the bride on her day."
Emma rolled her eyes. "I've seen pictures of Regina. I don't think it'd be possible."
"Don't doubt yourself, love. In my personal opinion, you are far more radiant and much less angry."
Emma snorted and kissed Killian quickly, but still leaving him breathless from the short contact. "You're such a smooth talker."
"Comes with the territory," Killian responded and he begrudgingly pulled away from her, knowing that he had to leave in order to get to his apartment in time to change and then make it to the gym on time. Graham wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he was late to another workout session. "I'll see you tonight."
Emma walked Killian to the door and kissed him goodbye, lingering on his lips for much longer than he was sure was needed, but he wasn't one to complain when a beautiful woman didn't want him to leave. When they finally parted and a final brush of his fingers along the smooth skin of Emma's cheek, Killian left her apartment with his hoodie over his head and his thoughts filled with Emma's low moans and blushing face.
"Ugggghhhh my God," Graham groaned as he plopped onto the couch, immediately placing his feet on top of the coffee table that cost almost as much as he made in a month as a waiter.
"Feet off the coffee table," Killian reminded his friend immediately and Graham groaned again, dragging his feet back down to the floor. Killian rolled his eyes as he reached into his large fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer, handing one to Graham as Killian sat down beside him on the couch.
Graham didn't waste a minute before twisting the cap off and downing half the bottle, saying hello to the calories he had just burned during the workout session with their trainer. Killian knew that there was another session in the morning, so he really didn't worry about the empty calories of a beer.
He just desperately needed one after that hell of a session.
"Why does everything huuurrrt?" Graham whined, dropping his head against the back of the couch.
"You would think that you'd get used to the pain after two years, mate."
"Fuck off. Everything hurts," Graham whined again and lifted his head up to pull another long drink from the beer. "Wanna watch some rugby? There should be some on soon."
Killian looked over at the time on the cable box and noticed that it was nearing six. Emma would've started work nearly an hour ago and he knew he couldn't pull a late night at the lounge, with another workout being at eight the next morning. So Killian shook his head and slowly stood from the couch, keeping his legs from shaking too much and placing his half-full beer bottle onto the coffee table.
"What? Why? Got plans?" Graham perused, raising an eyebrow as Killian rounded the couch to head to his master bathroom to shower the sweat and pain away.
Killian sighed because he couldn't just have some sort of semblance of privacy in his life. "Yes, alright? With Emma, to see her at the lounge."
Graham hummed under his breath, as if he was contemplating something. "You know, Izzy and I have been curious to go there. Especially Izzy, since she has yet to meet the mysterious Emma Swan."
Killian sighed again because he knew exactly where this was going. Might as well get it over with. "Graham, would you like to accompany me to The Frozen Heart tonight?"
Graham flashed a wide smile at Killian. "Thought you'd never ask. I'll text Izzy to see if she's up for it."
"Don't text her until I pass it by Emma. I don't want her to be surprised when I show up with the famous Graham Humbert and Izzy Greene, alright?"
Graham nodded, clearly pleased with himself, and he quickly flipped the television on, tuning into whatever the hell was on.
Killian walked up the two steps into the foyer, and turned right to head down the hall to head to his bedroom. He fished his phone from the pocket in his basketball shorts and quickly tapped out a message to Emma, hoping that it got to her within a decent amount of time.
Graham found a way to worm himself into my plans of coming to the lounge tonight and he wishes to bring along Izzy. I hope this doesn't distress you. If it does, I will gladly kick him out on his arse.
Killian didn't see Emma's response until he returned from his master bathroom, with a white towel drawn tightly around his waist to keep from dripping water from his shower all over his bedroom. He gently shook his head, his wet hair sending droplets everywhere like he was a dog (and he really did need to cut his hair but Cora said that the fans enjoyed the longer hair and the fans were always right), and he reached for his phone.
That's fine with me, as long as it doesn't bring too much attention to us somehow.
Killian nodded to himself because he understood what she meant. She was still afraid of the world knowing about them and he wanted to keep her in his private life for as long as they were able to, or until they decided they were ready. He was just as scared of going public with her as Emma was. And if Killian Jones suddenly arrived with Izzy Greene and Graham Humbert to watch her sing…it could raise some eyebrows.
Especially if people had been noticing him sticking around until late at night and making eyes at the hypnotizing lounge singer.
Are you sure you want all of them to come tonight?
But Killian meant do you want me there tonight because even though it's been nearly a month and a half, he was still nervous with each step. Emma's never had a problem with Killian coming to the lounge, but he knew how badly she wanted to keep things quiet, which would be difficult to do with Graham and Izzy on his side.
I'm positive. I want you to be here, killian. Just no direct reference to us, in case someone overhears.
Of course, love. I can be there within the hour, as long as Graham gets ahold of Izzy.
I'll see you then. Your admirer won't be there, unfortunately.
Killian chuckled under his breath and silently thanked God. He really wouldn't have looked forward to dealing with Ella seeing two more main cast members of Never Landing.
What an unfortunate circumstance. I will miss the high-pitched screeching.
Don't say that. Elsa's sister is taking her tables tonight and she's nearly as bad as Ella. Good luck with her.
Save me a song, Swan.
Don't I always?
Killian smiled as he dropped his phone back onto the bed and turned to his dresser to get dressed for the night. He plucked out a pair of black jeans and reached into his closet to pull on a dark red button-down shirt. As he finished buttoning up his shirt, he could hear the murmuring of voices out in the main area of his apartment. He knew that Izzy must've already arrived, meaning that Graham had called her before Killian heard from Emma. Killian sighed, even though Emma had agreed to having them come to the lounge. He just wished Humbert would just bloody listen to him.
Killian stepped out of his bedroom and the high pitched voice coming from the living room confirmed that Izzy was in his apartment. He ran his hand through his still-wet hair and sighed when he saw that Izzy's feet were propped up on the coffee table, right beside Graham's.
"Feet off the table," Killian called out as he stepped down into the living room in his socked feet.
Izzy and Graham groaned at the same time and their feet fell to the floor. Izzy tilted her head back against the couch to look at Killian, her high bun squishing against the leather of the couch.
"We heading out soon?" Izzy asked and Killian nodded, walking over to the right side of the room to slide on his typical boots. "Alrighty then."
"Just no talking about Emma and me while we're there, alright?" Killian asked as he turned back to his friends, who were standing from the couch. "She's afraid that we're gonna draw attention and that someone could overhear us. So no talking about soulmates or anything."
Graham and Izzy nodded while Izzy ran her hands over her lime green dress. Killian mentally cursed Graham for inviting her because Izzy was never subtle. With a dress like that, people would be able to see her from across the bloody block. And paparazzi knew that Izzy only wore variations of green.
And Graham always wore the exact same worn-in, brown leather jacket that nearly everybody could recognize.
The night just got a lot more difficult with Killian's company.
But Killian tried to keep the anxiety down as they travelled to the Bronx to see Emma sing, in the town car that Izzy just had to arrive in and he really didn't want to draw more attention to them but he had no choice in the matter since it was a Saturday night and all of the taxis were taken-
It didn't take them long to reach their table at the lounge. Killian sat in between Graham and Izzy in the booth that faced the stage, watching another lounge singer sing to the crowd. The waiters and waitresses were hurrying around and Killian caught a small glimpse of Emma, bent over a table as she placed full glasses of liquor down for her guests. A piece of hair had fallen into her face and Killian's hand twitched with the want to tuck it behind her ear.
"Is that her?" Izzy asked as she leaned over to speak into his ear. Apparently he wasn't being entirely subtle as he looked at Emma.
Killian nodded, his eyes following Emma around the room, noticing that her heels did wonderful things for her ass (but he wouldn't dare say that out loud). Her hair was wrapped in a low bun with that strand of hair continuing to fall in front of her face. And her tight black dress hugged every curve, causing Killian's thoughts to turn indecent.
"She's beautiful," Izzy replied, crossing her legs at the knees.
"That she is," Killian murmured under his breath, still completely hypnotized by the woman the world graced him with.
A waitress stopped at their table and quickly took their respective orders, hurrying away with a blush on her cheeks after Graham winked at her. Killian mentally slapped himself because bringing Izzy and Graham was a one way ticket to being the most conspicuous group of people in a place where he wanted to be the exact opposite.
Not shortly after the waitress returned with their drinks, Killian noticed Emma taking the stage. The lights shined down on her and she smiled widely, sending Killian's heart into a frenzy. He could see her every day for the rest of his life and his heart would continue to betray him by pounding so hard within his chest that he was sure that anyone could hear it.
She didn't waste a moment before beginning to sing and the piano man quickly caught up with her, playing the tune to "Something's Got A Hold On Me." Her hips began swaying as she sang, the single strand of hair continuing to lay in front of her face and Killian's heart twisted because she was so bloody beautiful.
Emma smiled brightly and it looked as though she was smiling directly at him, and Killian couldn't help but smiling just as widely back at her. Graham and Izzy could've tried to tell him anything-that Izzy was pregnant or that they were together or that Graham used to be a woman-but nothing would've distracted Killian from the sight and sound of Emma singing. From his periphery, he could see that Graham and Izzy were just as hypnotized by Emma as he was, as the rest of the audience was. All talking ceased and even the waitresses were standing around the lounge, completely captivated by Emma.
Killian smiled again because she was his soul mate.
The song slowly drifted to a close and an applause erupted, but it was quickly silenced by Emma continuing onto the next song. Killian could've sat there for hours, just listening to her sing. And that's what he did, with Graham and Izzy right beside him. They sat in the booth, unmoving, and just listened. They sat there for the next few hours as Emma sang, taking no breaks-except to drink the water offered to her by one of the waitresses. And as her set slowly dwindled to an end, Killian realized that it was nearing ten at night and he needed to get some sort of semblance of a sleep before working out at eight the next morning.
But Emma stepped down from the stage with a smile on her face and Killian couldn't leave just yet, not until he spoke to her for just a moment. And Killian didn't have to leave his seat to speak with her, as she immediately headed over to his table with her hands clasped in front of her. His heart began pounding steadily as she walked over to his table with purpose, her legs sky high in those blasted heels she wears (and the ones that give Killian even more indecent thoughts).
"Hello," Emma stated, standing just in front of Killian, but looking at Graham and Izzy. "My boss thought it'd be a good idea to introduce myself to you three."
Killian smiled because he knew Elsa hadn't come out to the lounge since he had arrived. And by Emma's sly wink, he knew she was making up the story, just so she could come see him. Bloody brilliant, his Swan was.
"Of course. You were wonderful," Izzy spoke as she stood from the booth, stepping around the small circular table to shake hands with Emma. "I'm Izzy Greene, and that's Graham Humbert. And this is Killian Jones."
"Oh I'm aware," Emma replied with a smile as Graham and Killian began to stand from their booth. "Never Landing is my favorite show."
Graham leaned in as he shook hands with Emma and mumbled under his breath, "Smooth excuse there, Emma."
The low lights of the lounge prevented Killian from seeing the slight blush that filled Emma's cheeks as Graham released her hand. Graham gently nudged Izzy and announced that they would wait outside, while winking obnoxiously over at Killian. He sighed as Izzy and Graham departed the lounge and Emma stood in front of Killian.
"You're leaving so soon?" Emma asked and it hurt Killian's heart to hear the slight panic undertones of her voice.
Killian nodded and stepped slightly forward, continuing to maintain a reasonable distance between him and Emma as to not raise any eyebrows. "Aye. I have a training session at eight in the morning and I do need my beauty sleep."
Emma snorted and smiled widely and Killian wanted to remember that sound for the rest of his life. "Because you need more of that, clearly."
Killian smiled back and swayed an inch or so closer. "Clearly."
Emma offered her hand and Killian gratefully took it, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand as they gently shook hands. Her hand was soft in his, contrasting against his rough and callused hand. She smiled at him again and it was like the heavens opened up over him and Killian couldn't believe that the world had graced him with this woman, whom had been through more tribulations than Killian thought was possible and yet she stood ever stronger.
Oh bloody hell.
He was in love with her.
"Do you think it would be inappropriate to kiss you on the cheek, Swan?" Killian murmured under his breath as their hands remained joined, not even slightly scared of the thoughts crossing his mind.
Her lips slightly upturned and his heart jolted and bloody hell he was in love with her. "Not at all."
And Killian leaned forward, listening to the hitch of Emma's breath as he leaned closer and closer to her. He just barely brushed his lips against the corner of her mouth and he swore that he heard a moan pass Emma's mouth. And as he pulled away, his nose brushed hers and when they met eyes, Emma's pupils were blown wide.
"Good night, Swan," Killian spoke and left the lounge, leading to a restless night in his bed because he was in love with Emma bloody Swan.
Emma was beyond starving, but she didn't nearly have enough time to eat. She was already running late, getting off work fifteen minutes later than she usually did because some drunkard had to puke all over the bar counter (who seriously gets that drunk on a Wednesday night?) and she had to run home to change clothing because she was not going to this shop in puke-covered clothes.
She had hurriedly texted Mary Margaret and Ruby to tell them to simply meet her there, in front of the store called Fae (which she thought was a little curious, to be entirely honest). And now, she was standing in front of the store, bright lights emitted through its wall-length windows that look onto the busy Upper West Side streets. Ruby and Mary Margaret both had their hands resting on their pregnant bellies, staring intently at the store and the fancy script spelling "Fae" over the awning, which protruded over the large glass double doors and held itself over the sidewalk.
Nerves bubbled in Emma's stomach. This would be her first foray into this new world, one which she had only admired from a distance. But, if things went well between her and Killian (and she knew they would and why did she continue to doubt it all-), this would become her life too. She never expected to have this life-never even dreamed that she would have a soul mate, much less one who lived with the paparazzi stalking his every move and walking down the red carpet as if it was a chore.
Part of Emma wanted to leave, to run away from this store and never look back. To pack up everything and go somewhere new, just as she had when she was in the system and would run away from cruel foster families where they treated their children like meal tickets and the fathers would look at her as though she was something to eat.
And well, the glaring 'CLOSED' sign hanging on the front door did nothing to squelch those fears.
"You're sure Killian said 8:30 pm on Wednesday?" Ruby asked, continuing to eye the store.
Emma nodded. "He told me he'd arrange it."
Emma noticed at least one woman milling about in the shop, with cerulean blue hair and sky high heels. Emma had half a mind to just leave, to tell Killian that the shop wasn't open and that she'd just find something in her closet to wear to the wedding. But as though the woman was reading her mind, she looked over at the trio and rushed quickly to the door.
"Thank God. I have to piss," Ruby muttered under her breath and Emma snorted, looking to her right to see her very pregnant friend wincing. "This kid is just resting on my bladder. This kid better be fucking cute."
The blue-haired lady pushed open the glass door and met eyes with Emma, whom stepped forward quickly to talk to the lady.
"Are you Emma Swan?" The lady asked and Emma nodded quickly. "Alright, hurry in. We'll be going into the rear of the store. You have no idea how many paparazzi stake out this store. You're lucky you haven't been seen and that it isn't awards season."
The woman-presumably Celeste-opened the door and ushered the three into the store, quickly shutting the door and locking it behind them. Emma looked around at the stark-white store, eyeing the mannequins dressed in clothing that Emma was sure cost more than a month's rent at her apartment. Shit, at Killian's apartment.
"Follow me, please," The woman spoke as she hurried ahead of Emma, leading her, Ruby, and Mary Margaret into the back of the store.
The woman's heels clacked loudly against the white tile flooring of the store, which appeared to go throughout the store. Emma noticed Mary Margaret and Ruby staring at all corners of the store, as if it was something they would never see again. Emma restrained herself from thinking those same thoughts, knowing that she so deeply cared for Killian and that she couldn't leave him as she herself had been left so many times before.
(She wanted to be rid of her fears, but it was those fears that kept her safe all those years.)
(Emma didn't know who she was without them.)
Killian cared enough for her to have her use his money to buy this dress that she'll probably never wear again (but she would force herself to wear it time and time again because it was probably going to cost more than she made in a month and she'd have to owe Killian at least five hundred meals and why did she agree to this-) so Emma would do this. She wanted to make Killian happy. She didn't want to continue to be holed up in their own little world because eventually, they would have to emerge and face the media.
She wanted to be able to live their own lives, unhindered and happily, as if Killian wasn't some sought-after star and she wasn't his commoner girlfriend.
"Just back here," The woman stated as Emma walked through an arch and into a large sitting area, with a small circular platform in the middle that was covered in a white carpet. Along the walls, racks of flowing dresses stunned Emma. It seemed as though Emma wanted to buy every single one of them, just to call her own.
But no, she wouldn't. Emma would find a dress just for the wedding and would make sure it wasn't the most expensive one. She didn't want to be indebted to Killian for the rest of her life, even though he insisted that she didn't need to pay him back. Even though he was her soul mate, she didn't like feeling indebted to anybody, no matter who they were.
(Especially if they held her heart.)
"I'm so sorry. I forgot to introduce myself," The blue-haired lady said as she looked at the three women. She placed her hand over her chest, showing her long painted nails that matched her hair. "My name is Celeste and this is my store. I've worked with Killian ever since he needed his first suit for the premiere of Never Landing two years ago, and a matching dress for his date. I've picked out some black dresses already for you to try on, so we can get started whenever you're ready."
"One question," Ruby spoke up with a pained face. "Where's the bathroom?"
Celeste smiled toothlessly and pointed over her right shoulder, at the hallway behind her that was next to a long wall of mirrors. "Down the hall, first door on the left."
Ruby hurried away, her Converses shuffling loudly against the tile flooring, and there was a loud slam of the bathroom door once Ruby stepped inside. Celeste at first looked annoyed, but quickly schooled her face into indifference, raising her arm to gesture to the other hallway, on the opposite side of the wall from the bathrooms.
"May we?" Celeste asked with a saccharine smile and Emma took a deep breath, walking beside Celeste down the hall as Mary Margaret took a seat on one of the plush, sky blue couches in front of the platform.
Emma reminded herself to breath as she walked along with Celeste, who ushered her into the very first room on the left. In there, Emma gasped as she saw at least ten black dresses, hanging up in a line against the back wall, with the opposite wall just a large mirror. It was as if these dresses were just waiting for Emma to try them on, to deem them perfect for the wedding.
"So, is there any particular one you want to try on first?" Celeste asked as she shut the door behind her and Emma.
Emma shrugged and Celeste plucked the first gown in the row of ten, sliding it off the hanger and into her arms. Celeste told Emma to strip down, and so Emma did. She wasn't embarrassed by it since she was sure Celeste had seen many women in their bras and panties. The only thing she wished as she took off her pants and shirt was that she had worn a better bra and not the ratty old thing she had for years.
But Emma didn't notice if Celeste looked at her with contempt or judgement. She just stepped over to Celeste and the woman helped Emma step into the strapless, satin gown. Once Celeste zipped up the back of the gown, Emma looked in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. The dress was more snug than Emma would've liked, trapping her breasts in the tight material. It was a gorgeous gown, but nothing about it stood out. It was just a plain satin gown, with a small white belt.
"Do you want to show your friends this dress?" Celeste asked, meeting Emma's eyes in the mirror.
Emma shook her head. Even though the dress was exactly what she needed to not stand out at the wedding, she just didn't like it. It was far too bland for her to even consider it.
Celeste nodded as she unzipped the dress. "That's okay. Let's go onto the next dress."
And that continued on through the next nine dresses. Emma would put them on and would decide whether or not to actually show Ruby and Mary Margaret the dress. Through most of the dresses, Emma had deemed them worthy of consideration. But they all were shot down by a raise of Ruby's eyebrow or the pinching of Mary Margaret's face. They were down to just the final one, which Emma was looking forward to. Not simply because it really was a gorgeous gown, but Emma was beyond starving and just needed to fucking eat.
Celeste slid up the zipper of the gown and Emma looked at herself in the mirror and for once, in this dress and throughout this entire night, she felt as though she actually would belong at the wedding. She felt as though she would belong in this entire lifestyle, right at Killian's side. With her long hair piled up into a bun that Celeste helped Emma with, she truly looked like a movie star.
The strapless, black gown hugged Emma's breasts in a way that she knew Killian would appreciate (hell, Emma appreciated it). It went down simply, hanging to just barely brush her toes, with a slit that went up to her mid-thigh. It fit her perfectly, unlike some of the other gowns. The look was very similar to the first gown, but this gown…it just had the extra something that Emma needed.
"Let's go show your friends," Celeste stated, reading the look on Emma's face.
Emma gathered the material in her hands and walked out of the room in front of Celeste. She walked down the hallway, breathing deeply before meeting Ruby and Mary Margaret at the sitting area. If they didn't like this dress, Emma just didn't know what she would do. There wasn't any time left before the wedding, as it was on Sunday, and this dress was just the one.
Emma let out a breath as she stepped onto the pedestal in front of where Ruby and Mary Margaret were sitting. She heard a collective gasp come from the two and Emma smiled because that was it. It was done. She found the gown she would wear to Regina's wedding.
(A knot formed in her stomach at the thought of spending the evening with these high-class stars because she was sure they would see right through her, seeing her as the poor girl who could barely afford her own apartment and who definitely did not deserve to life this sort of life-)
"Oh Emma, it's perfect," Mary Margaret spoke, tears in her voice as she stood from the couch to touch the soft material of the dress. "And I can tell that you love it too, so this is clearly the one."
"I'll go and take care of the transaction," Celeste spoke from her place beside the couch where Ruby continued to relax.
The woman walked away and Emma turned around to face the wall of mirrors. She could barely recognize herself in the gown, never having worn something so beautiful. Something so expensive. Even when she lived with Diane, her mother never had Emma wear something so elegant. It was just one of those things that Emma reckoned she didn't deserve.
(And she still felt like that, even now, standing in the gown.)
"You're thinking too hard," Ruby stated, standing from the couch to stand on the other side of Emma. "What is it?"
No man is going to want a lounge singer who can barely afford her own rent.
Maybe that Neal boy had the right mindset, getting away from you. Maybe he could tell that you would never amount to anything substantial. Oh, what wasted potential. You could've really been something, Emma.
Emma's hands tightened into fists and began to shake. Diane was fucking right. She didn't deserve this life. She never did and she never would. That's why Diane had cut her off and why Emma never found a family before her. It was why Emma never found love, even when she thought she had it with Neal. Emma didn't deserve happiness and love and a family. She didn't deserve to have somebody there for her.
She didn't deserve a soulmate who looked at her like she was the entire goddamn world.
"Emma," Ruby repeated, her hand soothingly wrapping around Emma's wrist to bring her back to the present. "Emma, you deserve this. I know exactly what's going through your head right now and you deserve this. You deserve a guy who makes you happy and you deserve this gorgeous dress and you deserve this sort of life. Don't talk yourself out of it because I know that's exactly what you're fucking doing."
"But he deserves someone who doesn't have a past-"
"Emma, everyone has a past," Mary Margaret spoke up, her hand wrapping around Emma's fist. "Killian has a past. Ruby has a past. Shit, I have a past."
"But my past is horrible and he just deserves someone who isn't fucking broken and a goddamn mess and someone who can actually afford to live and not worry month-to-month about her rent at her crappy studio apartment," Emma spat out, angry and frustrated tears tracking down her cheeks.
"You love him," Mary Margaret said and Emma's heart pounded in her chest because she knew her friend was right. "You love him and that's why you care so much."
But Emma just shrugged because denial was a far easier game to play than acknowledging your feelings and possibly getting hurt in the process. "I don't know."
(Oh, but Emma did know.)
(She loved Killian Jones. So much that her heart could burst from it.)
Mary Margaret sighed and exchanged a look with Ruby. "I suppose that's all we'll get about that."
Celeste returned shortly thereafter, stating that the transaction was approved and that the dress was officially Emma's (even though her mind yelled it's Killian's). The trio departed the store with a garment bag in hand and Emma made up some excuse to just return to her apartment, needing to be alone. And Ruby and Mary Margaret seemed to accept the excuse, bidding farewell to Emma and promising to be over at Killian's apartment Sunday morning to help her prepare for the wedding.
And Emma returned to her apartment, hung up her brand new dress, and curled up in her bed, listening to the growls of her stomach as she slowly drifted off to a restless sleep.
(It wasn't as though she hadn't fallen asleep on an empty stomach before and with only her racing thoughts as her company.)