I See The Light (Now That I See You)

by bisexual-killian-jones

Emma was twenty-six when she could finally see colors, after she had lost faith in it ever happening to her. She just wasn't quite expecting it to be him. AU where you only see black and white until you meet your soulmate.

15. Chapter 15

a/n: yes, the new chapter is here. i'm so sorry for the long ass wait. but my inspiration has been sucking for a long time and if y'all don't know yet, my mother died back in November. so i've been in kind of a rut since then. but it's finally here! enjoy! also there's some smuttiness as a gift for waiting patiently.

---

"Ow, god dammit, Ruby!" Emma whined as Ruby tugged and teased her hair.

"Stop moving," Mary Margaret scolded Emma as she tried to perfect Emma's eyeliner. "I'm gonna stab you in the eyes with this pencil and you'll only be able to blame yourself."

"Well tell Ruby that I'm not a doll and I do feel pain," Emma replied, wincing as Ruby tugged her hair again into an elaborate braid.

"I'm almost done, so stop complaining," Ruby stated, sliding a bobby pin into Emma's hair. "Beauty is pain. You'll do well to remember that, since there's gonna be red carpets in your future."

Emma sighed in defeat. She knew Ruby was right. Killian's star was only beginning to rise and he had more than enough potential to rocket into A-list territory. But a part of her was still nervous about her future in the spotlight. She knew her past would come out and she could only imagine the horrors people would write about her.

But Emma didn't get through her life without growing tough and thick skin. She was sure she could get through all of that pain in order to remain by Killian's side. Even with her uneasiness about living a life of fame, she didn't want to give up her relationship with Killian. She couldn't give him up. But she did fear how Diane would cash in on her "daughter" being the soulmate of a celebrity heartthrob.

"Don't look so sad, Emma. I'll stop tugging on your hair if it hurts that much," Ruby spoke softly and Emma met her eyes in the mirror. Ruby looked genuinely worried, as if she was the reason behind Emma's sudden sadness.

"It's not that," Emma spoke quietly, swallowing back a knot in her throat. "I'm just nervous. That's all."

"You know he won't leave your side, right?" Mary Margaret says as she slides red lipstick across Emma's bottom lip. "He won't be able to keep his eyes off of you."

"Not like he doesn't do that already," Ruby murmured and Emma snorted under her breath.

Emma urged herself to stop worrying, as she didn't want to waste the wedding by remaining stuck in her thoughts about the future. She was going to have a great time with Killian, dancing the night away with a man Emma was sure was a fantastic dancer. Plus, she was definitely looking forward to seeing him in a suit in the flesh; while Emma had seen countless pictures of Killian in tuxedos for premieres and award ceremonies and photoshoots, she was particularly excited to see one on him in person.

(And then preferably on the floor later.)

"Why did your face suddenly turn red?" Mary Margaret asked and of course Emma had to blush at that indecent thought.

"Having dirty thoughts about your soulmate?" Ruby suggested with a wolfish grin in the mirror.

"Shut up," Emma mumbled under her breath.

Ruby began practically giggling, hopping on her feet as Emma's hair remained in her hands. "I knew it. Don't worry-we won't tell him."

Emma resisted the urge to drop her head into her hands, knowing that Mary Margaret would murder her if Emma ruined her makeup she had been painstakingly doing for the past half hour.

"I wonder what your lover is doing while we commandeer his bathroom," Ruby murmured, tucking another bobby pin in Emma's hair to hold the second braid in place.

"He said he'd just watch rugby until it came time for him to get dressed and that he'll use the guest bedroom," Emma explained, her fingers picking at her nails.

"Don't do that," Mary Margaret said as she slapped Emma's hands, then turned back to Emma's lipstick. "I bet he'll look great."

"I'll look like a freaking troll next to him," Emma grumbled.

"Now that's a load of shit and you know it," Ruby replied, meeting Emma's stare in the mirror and twisting the braids together into a bun. "Killian is gonna pop a boner when he sees you."

"Jesus, Ruby-"

"It's the damn truth. Don't try to deny it," Ruby continued, grinning as her stare glanced down to her hands as they slowly finished Emma's hair. "I'm expecting a text tomorrow about how he is in the sack."

"Ruby-"

"Oh come on!" Ruby whined as Mary Margaret sent a stare toward Ruby. "I just really wanna know. How you haven't tapped that yet is beyond me-"

There was a gentle knocking on the door, which interrupted Ruby's indecent tirade. "Ladies, there's pizza in the kitchen if you would like any. It's only cheese and pepperoni pizzas, but I thought you three would like something to eat."

Emma didn't resist the urge to slap a hand over her face in embarrassment. "Thanks, Killian."

Emma heard Killian walk away from the bathroom, his feet padding against the hardwood floor of his bedroom until there was a quiet click of his bedroom door closing. Emma looked up at Ruby's mortified face in the mirror, seeing the reddest Ruby had ever been since Emma knew her.

"Thanks for that, Ruby," Emma said as her face remained hot from embarrassment, dropping her hand from her face as Mary Margaret looked like she was on the verge of laughing.

"Maybe he didn't hear it?" Ruby asked, shrugging as she reached for the hairspray on the white marble countertop in front of Emma.

Emma snorted as Ruby began spraying the hairspray around Emma's head. Soon, Emma's appearance was finished and Emma barely recognized the woman in the mirror as she looked at Ruby and Mary Margaret's work. Her hair was back in a braided bun, the braids running along the sides of her head. Her longish bangs were tucked behind her ears and Ruby had teased a little bump into the crown of Emma's hair. Mary Margaret perfected Emma's look by tracing cate eyes along Emma's eyes and spread a matte red lipstick across her lips.

And needless to say, Emma thought she looked hot.

Ruby and Mary Margaret allowed Emma to get acquainted with her new self as they left the bathroom to retrieve some pizza from the kitchen. The longer Emma looked in the mirror, the more she believed she would be able to blend into this new life with Killian. As she looked at herself in the mirror, Emma thought that maybe she wouldn't look so awkward at Killian's side as they moved through red carpets and that maybe she would fit in.

But the memory of Diane's words rang in Emma's ears and anxiety gripped her heart tightly.

She was afraid everyone would see right through her and see that Emma did not belong in this high-class world. Emma knew her history would come out and that people would be judging her left and right, whispering that they knew all along that she was just some gold digging whore that was clearly using Killian for his money and fame-

"We brought you pizza," Ruby chimed and Emma took a deep breath, schooling her face into indifference. Ruby and Mary Margaret arrived in the bedroom, standing by the foot of the bed and looking into the bathroom where Emma still stood. "We cut it up for you so you don't smear your lipstick."

Emma stepped out of the bedroom and eagerly took the plate from Ruby's hand, beginning to eat the pizza pieces before she even sat on the bed. Killian and she had to leave in an hour to drive another hour to Regina's parents' house, where the wedding was being held. And Emma was sure that she would be starving by the time the reception rolled around, so she ate as much as she could. She didn't imagine that the entrees would be anything substantial and that by the end of the night, Emma would be back to starving.

Soon, their pizza slices were eaten and Mary Margaret and Ruby began helping Emma into her gown, which they had picked up on the way over to Killian's apartment. The dress fit just as perfectly as it did earlier in the week at Fae, the black fabric draping over her body and hugging her hips. The top was structured enough and tight and the thigh-high slit left little to the imagination.

Emma knew she looked good in the dress, but she hoped that Killian would enjoy it as well.

"Damn girl, you look hot," Ruby spoke as the three of them looked in the mirrored closet doors of Killian's bedroom. "He isn't gonna know what hit him."

Emma took a deep breath and ran her hands over the dress, unable to believe that she was about to go to the wedding of the tabloid-dubbed Evil Queen and the lead singer of Prince of Thieves. She was about to enter the life she had only fantasized about, never thinking that this would ever actually happen to the girl who had grown up with nobody to love her and was always alone and was never deserving of anything-

"Well, it's time," Mary Margaret said, kissing Emma's cheek as they ushered her toward the door, only allowing Emma to stop to slide on the four-inch stilettos to go with the dress.

Emma took another deep breath as Mary Margaret pushed the bedroom door open and led Emma down the narrow hallway, turning right at the break in the hallway to walk to the entry way of the apartment. She could hear Killian pacing against the hardwood of the entry way, probably looking impeccable in his suit, and Emma felt nerves bubbling in her stomach. She was nervous about going to this star-studded wedding, but she would do it. Killian deserved to have a soul mate that would be able to attend his events and would stand tall by his side.

Besides, she was just a little curious about how the wedding would be.

After a final deep breath, Emma stepped into the entry way behind Mary Margaret and witnessed the unbelievable perfection that was Killian Jones in a suit. She only first saw his back, his hip slightly cocked as he stood with his hands in his pant pockets and Emma already knew she would have a hard time that night. The black fabric clung to his back and legs, almost like a second skin. From the back, Emma could tell that his hair was sticking up slightly in his signature style.

(Dammit, she was fucked for the night.)

And just then, as he heard Emma's heels clacking on the hardwood, Killian turned around and Emma swore she blacked out for a second. Yes, his hair was slightly sticking up at the front, and yes, that suit clung to him tightly. But it was the way his gaze landed on Emma and not-so-subtly trailed up her body and landed on her face that made Emma nearly faint. He looked at her as though she was the only thing in this world worth looking at-as if she was the sun, the moon, the stars, and every fucking galaxy out there.

His eyes grew soft when they landed on her face, no longer the curious stare from before. A small smile pulled at his lips and Emma felt her heart swell because it was a sight that Emma wanted to remember forever and watch grace his face again. The butterflies continued to flap around wildly in her stomach, but no longer because of the nerves about the night. They were because of him.

(Jesus fucking Christ, Emma loved him.)

"Well, it's time for us to head out," Ruby spoke suddenly, looking between Killian and Emma. "Baby Whale is starting to get a little hungry."

Ruby and Mary Margaret pressed kisses to Emma's cheeks, but not without a stare from Ruby which told Emma exactly what Ruby was expecting the next day. Emma groaned internally as her friends slowly exited the apartment, leaving her alone with Killian. Her eyes met his one more time and goosebumps raised on her arms from just the intensity of his stare. She could see the struggle behind his eyes, as if he was trying to figure out what he wanted to do. Emma had her own idea of what was probably going through his head because Emma was positive she was thinking the same thing.

Emma wanted to kiss the hell out of him.

(Among other things.)

So Emma stepped the three feet over to Killian, her heels clacking against the floor, and she gripped the lapels of his suit jacket toward her. Her lips met his and it wasn't a moment later that Killian growled into her mouth, his hands moving up to cup her cheeks. Emma reveled in the way his callused hands felt against her soft skin and she didn't even care if her lipstick was smeared after this; she just wanted to feel his lips against hers and just forget about the anxiety over the night ahead of her. She wanted to feel his hands roam over her body and push her back into the bedroom and tug her onto his bed-

Killian's lips pulled away as his thumbs rubbed against Emma's cheeks. "You look stunning, Emma."

Emma couldn't help but snort under her breath because he was complimenting her?

"I mean it, Emma," Killian spoke, his thumbs on Emma's jaw to angle her head up to meet his eyes. "You look breathtaking. I'll be the luckiest man in the room, including Robin."

Emma swallowed back the knot in her throat and said, "Thank you."

"Are you ready to go?" Killian asked quietly and Emma realized that he was giving her an out, in case she didn't want to go. And Emma looked the opportunity in the face, contemplated it because she didn't want to deal with men and women looking down their noses at Emma and judging her for not belonging in this life-

"Yes, I'm ready," Emma spoke, nodding and trying to silence her traitorous thoughts.

"You're sure? Just say the word and we won't go," Killian replied, his eyes staring into hers as though he can see her uneasiness.

"Yes, I'm sure. And I'm pretty sure Regina would have your ass if you didn't show up," Emma murmured with a small smile on her face, her hands trailing over Killian's lapels.

Killian laughed under his breath. "That's not incorrect."

"So let's go," Emma said as she reluctantly pulled away from Killian. "Is my lipstick okay?"

Killian's eyebrows raised as he looked at her lips. "Surprisingly so, even after you attacked me."

Emma rolled her eyes as she laughed. "I'm pretty sure you enjoyed it."

"Oh you have no idea," Killian murmured as he tucked his phone and wallet into his back pocket of his pants, standing beside the entry way table. Emma felt her face flush as he plucked his keys and he looked back at her, smiling at Emma's now red face. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're turned on, Emma Swan."

Emma gulped and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself because she was not about to jump Killian Jones' at this wedding and possibly ruin his relationship with his manager. Emma grabbed her clutch from the entry way table, which Ruby had placed there when they first arrived to prepare Emma for the wedding, and swayed closely to Killian, inhaling his cologne deeply and looking into the silver flecks of his blue eyes.

"And if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're enjoying teasing me," Emma replied, seeing his pupils dilate.

"Well I must say you're correct in that observation," Killian murmured back and Emma could feel the air charge with electricity between them, urging them to just fucking do it. "And you do seem to enjoy it, if I'm not mistaken."

Emma's teeth grazed her bottom lip and Killian's gaze dropped to watch the movement. Emma's lips pulled up in a gentle smile because she did enjoy seeing what she did to the man in front of her, even if she thought she didn't deserve him. "Oh I do. Maybe I can tease you back someday and see how much you enjoy it."

Killian groaned under his breath and Emma began laughing as she gripped the door handle and swung the door open, walking into the tiled hallway outside of Killian's apartment.

---

It didn't take them long to reach Killian's car, which was housed in the underground parking garage beneath his building. Emma didn't even know that Killian had a car, and she was sure that he probably barely drove it as it was, since they did live in New York City. Unless he drove it to filming at Chelsea Piers, Emma was sure that the car hadn't been driven in a while. Her heels clacked against the cement flooring that ran throughout the single level of parking, Killian walking beside her with a hand in his pocket and the other hand holding his car keys.

Just looking at the cars in the parking lot made Emma feel as though she didn't belong in Killian's life. There wasn't a single car down there that was probably below $30,000. They were all Mercedes' and BMWs and Porsches. Shit, there was even a blazing red Ferrari down there, which they walked beside when heading toward the far right corner of the lot (and Emma's feet were already screaming from her heels). Even touching these cars had been a pipe dream to Emma before she met Killian, and now, it was something that was likely and feasible.

And it still scared her.

"Here we are," Killian announced, clicking his key fob to unlock his car from a few feet away. The lights blinked on a silver and sleek Mercedes coupe convertible and Emma hoped she didn't somehow damage the car that probably cost more than three years' worth of rent. "Emma, meet my precious Jolly Roger."

Emma couldn't help but laugh as they walked toward the car. "You named it 'Jolly Roger?' Aren't you taking your role just a bit seriously here?"

Killian laughed in response, walking to the driver's side of the car and carefully opening his door so it didn't hit the cement wall beside the car. "Well, ever since I was young, I've had a fascination with Peter Pan, starting with the book and then the movie. Getting the role of James Hook on a retelling of Peter Pan was just a coincidence. It was only reasonable that I named my car after Captain Hook's ship."

Emma laughed, her heart lightening at the story of Killian's past. She then realized that there was still a lot she wanted to learn about this man. She wanted to know his past, his hopes and dreams, and the fears that kept him awake at night. Emma wanted to know the essence of Killian's soul, as long as he would allow her.

Emma slid into the passenger seat and slowly sat down on the plush leather, trying to not move too suddenly as to not rip the beautiful dress she was wearing. Killian settled in beside her and turned the car on, the engine purring loudly with power. Quickly, Killian pulled out of the underground garage and turned onto the main road, driving their way to the wedding.

"So are you excited for the wedding?" Killian asked as he smoothly pulled onto the highway and turned on the cruise control for his car.

"I'm more nervous than excited," Emma replied honestly.

"Why's that?" Killian questioned with a short glance over at Emma.

Emma turned her head to look at Killian with her eyebrows raised. "Are you kidding? This wedding is full of celebrities. These people make more in a week than I do in a year. It's a little intimidating."

"You'll blow them all away. I'm sure of it," Killian replied with a smile and Emma felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach.

"I think you have too much faith in me," Emma murmured as she looked out her window at the passing cars and trees.

"As long as yourself, they'll love you, Emma," Killian responded hopefully with slighter smile. "And if they don't, well who needs them anyway?"

"You do."

Killian shrugged. "To be honest, I've got enough money where I could retire right now and live completely happily for the rest of my life. Given that I move to a different apartment. So really, if they don't love you, they can piss off."

"You can't give up your career for me, Killian," Emma whispered.

(I'm not worth it, Emma added mentally.)

"I can and I would if I had to," Killian replied and Emma knew he was telling the truth. Even though she wasn't looking into his eyes, she knew he wasn't lying.

He never lied to her.

(And that's what scared her.)

"So, Emma Swan, I've realized that I don't know too much about your childhood. What did you want to be when you grew up?" Killian asked as he raised an eyebrow at her.

Emma laughed under her breath as she glanced over at him. "Oh God, I wanted to be everything. A teacher, a cop, a beekeeper." Killian laughed from his seat in the car and Emma continued in with a smile on her face. "But it was usually some sort of entertainer. I always, always, always wanted to be a singer."

"Well it looks like you accomplished your dream, then," Killian replied with a smile. "Or did you want your name up in lights?"

Emma shrugged. "It didn't matter to me, as long as I was singing. I mean, I wouldn't say no to a steady paycheck and the ability to live comfortably, given the way I grew up. But I just wanted to sing."

"And that's what you want to do, still?" Killian asked.

Emma nodded. "What I do at Frozen Heart is what I wanna do. I love being able to sing there. But what Diane wanted… I didn't want that life. I didn't want to be a concert pianist and not have control over my life. Diane was arranging every part of my life fit that route and I didn't want that. I just wanted to sing, just as I airways wanted to. And even though it means that I'm broke as hell constantly, I'm glad I chose my own path."

"I am too," Killian responded and smiled at Emma.

"What did you want to be when you grew up?" Emma asked, settling back against the smooth leather of the seat.

"A fisherman."

Emma raised her eyebrows and snorted. "A fisherman?"

Killian nodded with a small smile playing at his lips. "Yes. For some reason, when I was little, I thought that was the coolest job. But then my father took me and Liam fishing when I was five and I was so bored the entire time. After that, I still wanted to do something with the ocean."

"Then why aren't you a sailor or something?"

"Because I learned I was a pretty good actor after getting my teacher to believe that I hadn't done my homework because my dog died the night before," Killian replied as his smile spread across his face. "After that, I figured I'd give theatre a shot and I actually enjoyed it. Sea is still in my blood, but I enjoy acting as well. Once I'm able to, I want to move into an apartment or house by the ocean. Maybe after I decide that I'm finished with acting."

"That would be nice," Emma spoke, memorizing the curve of his smile.

"Maybe you'd like to join me," Killian murmured, his hand reaching over and finding Emma's on her lap, where he squeezed her hand within his.

Emma met his eyes and couldn't resist matching his smile with her own. (God she loved him.) "Maybe I'd like to."

"I look forward to it, love," Killian spoke, lifting her hand to his mouth and pressing a light kiss to her knuckles.

"What about your childhood?" Emma asked after her hand was back in her lap, her fingers woven between Killian's as he continued to drive quickly down the highway. Just after the question left her lips, Killian's fingers frozen around hers and Emma looked over at him, where he was staring sternly out the windshield. Her heart hurt because she didn't want to see him in pain. Her curiosity just got the best of her and she just shouldn't have said anything. "You don't have to tell me you don't want to. I just thought-"

"It's alright, love," Killian's soothing voice spoke and he glanced over at her, sending her a small smile. "I was born in London and lived there for quite some time. Liam was the typical overbearing brother, which I'm sure you had gathered. Since he's ten years older than me, he bullied me around like other older brothers would with a much younger sibling. He was quite the angry teenager…especially when my mother fell ill."

Emma squeezed Killian's hand, reassuring him and making sure he knew that she supported him with whatever he said. He looked over at her again and smiled wistfully. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Emma. I still remember her, even though it's not as clearly as I wish it was," Killian responded, looking back to the road. "She was always sick. After my birth, she was in the hospital for a while, healing from the C-section. When I was four, she found a lump in her breast and was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went into remission soon afterwards, but then she started getting horrendous migraines when I was about six. Then she found out she had a sizeable brain tumor, which they couldn't do anything about."

Emma squeezed his hand again, her heart breaking for the man beside her.

(The man she loved.)

"Liam was so angry at the world after her diagnosis. Before, with her previous health hiccups, he was upset, but he always knew she would pull through. But with this…he was just so mad at everything and everyone," Killian spoke quietly, his free hand tight on the steering wheel. "He would lock himself up in his bedroom and not leave. He'd cut school and stay out late and didn't stop until my father left."

Emma's eyebrows raised. "Your father left?"

"The rotten bastard left," Killian replied, his jaw clenched tightly. "I was too young to understand what was happening. But from what I heard from my bedroom, he said that it was too much for him to handle." Killian laughed, an empty chuckle under his breath. "My mother was dying and it was too much for him to handle. So he left, late at night. I could hear her weeping down by the front door and Liam was yelling at him, telling him that if he left, he might as well never come back. And he just didn't.

"So after that, Liam stepped up. He made sure I was dressed and ate before school. He made sure I did my homework and brushed my teeth. He made sure my mother was always comfortable and that she always had her hot tea," Killian continued. "He started going back to school and making grades. Now that I think about it, it was his own way of making our mother happy, as if he made good grades, she wouldn't die. Alas, that isn't how the world is."

Emma picked up Killian's hand and pressed her lips against the back of his hand, urging herself to keep the tears at bay.

"She died two months before my seventh birthday, peacefully in her sleep. The wanker of my father didn't even go to the funeral. A month later, I was in upstate New York with Liam, living with my aunt and cousin," Killian stated, looking back over at Emma as she lowered his hand back onto her lap. "My Aunt Cassie died a few years ago, but my cousin, Rebecca, still lives in the house. From time to time, Liam and I visit, but we haven't since Amelia was born."

"Maybe I can join you next time," Emma suggested and her heart stuttered at the beautiful smile that spread across Killian's lips.

"Of course," Killian replied, his thumb rubbing against the back of Emma's hand. "Rebecca still doesn't know about us and she'll have a fit about not finding out sooner. But she'll undoubtedly love you."

"You sure about that?"

"Anyone who doesn't love you is out of their damn mind, Emma."

Emma scoffed. "Maybe you should meet Diane. She seems to be able to do that quite easily."

"The only reason I would want to meet Diane is to ask her how she could disown a radiant woman for wanting to follow her own path," Killian grumbled out, switching lanes to drive past a slowly crawling van.

Emma's thumb rubbed against Killian's hand and she looked over at him as he switched back into the right lane. "My father is much better. I think you two would get along really well."

"I'd like to meet him someday," Killian stated, glancing over at Emma with a small smile.

Emma sighed as she turned to look back out the windshield. "Well, that'll be difficult since Diane likes to keep him on a tight leash. He's the best lawyer in Buffalo and he can't find a way to get around Diane's crazy friends who nark on him whenever they have the chance to."

"We'll find a way. I'm sure of it."

"It's just…" Emma began, then sighed. She had never really opened up so much about her past before she went off to college, but with Killian's own story and the way his eyes just always searched within hers for something, she was no longer afraid. "My dad is one of the greatest men I've ever known. He's caring and friendly and happy, but stern when needed and a freaking shark in the courtroom. And he's also loyal to a fault, which is why he's still with his soul mate, even though she's made his life hell and has cut me out of their lives. He only calls when Diane is out of the country on one of her random trips overseas, and even then, he doesn't talk long. Even when Diane is halfway across the world, she still controls both of our lives and it fucking sucks. I haven't seen him in four years, ever since the falling out with Diane."

"Was she always so domineering?" Killian questioned.

"Oh yes," Emma snorted, laughing gently under her breath. "The day after I moved in with them, even before the adoption paperwork was finalized, she had me following a strict schedule of piano lessons. She wouldn't allow me to do anything until I completed three hours' worth of piano lessons a day. And if I arrived home late from school, I would have to do an extra hour. I fell behind on homework and hardly had friends because she was so strict about it. It was only when Grant-my dad-laid down the law and made sure that my homework came first that Diane backed down. But even after that, she was still ridiculous about keeping up with my piano lessons. Looking back on it now, I should've known what she was trying to pull."

Killian's hand tightened around Emma's in a reassuring grip. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Even after his past-his father leaving, his mother dying, Milah dying-, Killian apologized to Emma for what she had gone through before she escaped from Diane's grasp. She could feel the tears building behind her eyes because this man was so full of empathy and apologized over things he couldn't change from her past. After everything Killian had gone through, he would have every right to have turned into an asshole, someone who was eternally angry at the world.

But all of that pain just made him kinder and gentler and Emma was in love with him.

"It wasn't all bad, I guess," Emma murmured, turning her head to watch the passing trees out of her window. "There were fancy dinners and dresses and everything I could've ever dreamed of as a little girl."

"Like what?"

"My own bed. No screaming kids and no fighting and everything was mine," Emma whispered and she felt the tugging of her hand. She looked over and saw Killian pressing another kiss to the back of her hand, his eyes meeting hers in a quick glance before he looked back to the road. Emma smiled to herself as he settled her hand back on her lap, her heart stuttering in her chest. "They had an absolutely gorgeous house, which is one of the few things I miss actually. It was a beautiful pale yellow, Victorian house, with a turret and everything."

Killian smiled widely and nodded from his place in the driver's seat, signaling for Emma to continue. "There was a huge wrap-around porch and I'd always sit out there on Sunday mornings, sipping hot chocolate and just listening to the birds. And then they had this fancy-ass pool and hot tub that I'd hang out in during the summer, when Diane wasn't forcing me to do my piano lessons. And in the turret, there was this small desk and chair that overlooked the front yard and I could see for miles. Actually, when it rained or snowed, I'd crawl up there to just watch."

Emma settled against her seat as she lost herself to her memories. As a lost girl who thought she'd never have a family to care for her, that house opened her mind to the possibility that she could find people who loved her and cared for her. She'd quickly find out that Diane didn't care very much for her, but Grant never let Emma fall asleep without telling her 'I love you.' And those nights, she would dream of being surrounded by people she didn't know, all telling her that they loved her and she was important and that they cared for her.

After she left the house and found herself alone at college, slowly those faces in her dreams became clearer. First, Mary Margaret and David's face appeared. But not so slowly, Ruby and Victor and Henry and Elsa and so many others took their places in Emma's dreams. For a long while, Neal's face was among all of them, but after his swift departure and lackluster apology postcard, he disappeared and Emma felt a hole beneath her breastbone.

And she had no idea that she would find another person to replace Neal's gaping exit.

And now, Killian's face appeared to her each night, among her friends and loved ones, telling her 'I love you.'

(Emma only hoped it was true.)

---

For the remainder of the drive, they sat in comfortable silence, with Killian's hand still tightly around Emma's. She stared out the window at the passing trees and fields, happy that they didn't need to fill the silence with chatter. She felt comfortable just sitting like this with him, unlike when she was with Neal and always felt the need to fill the silence with stilted conversations. Emma just listened to the quiet lull of the rock station Killian had turned on (the only time Killian had let go of her hand, but had quickly grasped her hand again as the music pumped through the speakers) and listened to his voice as he quietly sang along to the songs.

And from time to time, Emma would sing along with Killian, and the tightening of his hand around hers told her that he enjoyed hearing her voice just as much as she enjoyed hearing his. She would glance over and meet his stare, his lips upturned as he sang and she sang and her heart felt as though it would runneth over. And Emma suddenly had a snapshot of a possible future with Killian, singing lullabies to their children as they fall asleep, black hair against the stark white of their pillows.

(She loved him.)

But as they grew closer and closer to the wedding site, Emma's stomach turned into a bundle of nerves. She would be among celebrities and people with more wealth than Emma could ever imagine. She was sure that they would be able to see that she was not like them in the least, that she was some girl who could barely afford to keep herself sheltered and fed and that she did not belong among their ranks. Emma let out an unsteady breath as Killian pulled off of the highway and she hoped he couldn't feel the sweat gathering on her hands.

"Don't be nervous, love," Killian spoke gently, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand in reassurance. "We'll have a grand time."

Emma swallowed back the knot in her throat. "I hope so."

Emma shifted in her seat as he drove down the road, anxiety muddling her thoughts. She was sure everything would be fine, that the wedding would go off without a hitch and that she and Killian would have an amazing time. But her anxiety twisted her thoughts, telling her that they'll all see her as a lowly lounge singer and waitress and as someone who does not belong there. Emma took another deep breath and let it out slowly, hoping that she didn't make an ass out of herself by tripping out of the car or drinking so much that she gets sick or ripping this beautiful dress-

"Here we are," Killian stated, turning into a long driveway as he released her hand and switched off his GPS on his phone.

Emma leaned forward in her seat, staring out the windshield, and looked out at the green pastures that passed the car as Killian drove by. The lawn was perfectly manicured, which didn't surprise Emma, given the fact that she was sure that Regina was the ultimate perfectionist-especially for her wedding day. As they drove over the top of the hill, Emma gasped at the sight before her.

A stately Colonial house rested nearly one hundred yards from where Killian was driving. The red brick of the house stood in contrast to the sharp green of the grass. It looked as though it belonged in a different time, a different era where it would've held balls and cabinet meetings. A porte-cochere jutted over the front of the house, casting a shadow over the circle of the driveway, which Killian was quickly approaching. Under the shadow, valets stood in their suits and ties in the heat of early September, awaiting any approaching cars.

"This is where Regina lives?" Emma asked, looking over at Killian as he drives along the road and underneath the porte-cochere.

Killian shakes his head as he puts the car in park, unbuckling his seatbelt. "No, this is where her parents live. Her father insisted that she hold the wedding here."

Emma nodded as her door was opened by one of the valet. She hurriedly unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car, a hand grasping hers as her heels found the pavement of the driveway. Emma looked up as she stood out of the car and found Killian's smiling face beside hers. She couldn't resist smiling back as she smoothed down her dress with the hand holding her clutch. Killian handed his keys off to a friendly-looking valet, who hurried to the car and slowly drove away.

"Who are her parents?" Emma asked as Killian placed her hand on the inside of his elbow, helping her up the few steps to the front door.

"Her father was an advertising executive until he retired some years ago. Her mother is the infamous Cora Mills," Killian replied, smiling over at her as he placed his hand on the doorknob.

Emma's eyes widened. She had heard of Cora Mills, the insane casting director that was known for starting half of Hollywood's careers and was also known for ruining the careers of many more, but she hadn't made the connection. "I can't even imagine that childhood."

Killian chuckled under his breath, the doorknob turning in his hand. "Well, she was the one who gave me my job, so I can't exactly complain about her."

Before Emma could respond to that, Killian swung the front door open and revealed a large foyer, with white marble flooring and a stunning chandelier hung beside the spiraling staircase that led up to the second floor. They stepped inside, Emma's heels clacking against the flooring, and it seemed as though everyone who was anybody in Hollywood had come to witness the marriage of Regina Mills and Robin Locksley.

Emma looked around and recognized various actors and actresses around the room, dressed in their sleek black dresses and suits. Only a handful looked over in their direction, seemingly recognizing Killian as they would politely nod at him while Killian took Emma's hand and began to walk with her toward the back of the house. Emma kept her eyes down, watching her feet with every step so she wouldn't trip and embarrass Killian.

(She didn't need the fellow guests to think anything worse of him bringing her along.)

They moved through the rear living room, Emma's heels echoing with ever step against the cherry hardwood flooring. She allowed herself to look around, spotting a flat screen television propped over the fireplace on the left side of the room, surrounded by plush couches and chairs. It reminded her of her father's layout in his own home, to which her heart panged in longing homesickness. She hadn't seen the man in four years, ever since Diane decided to disown her, and Emma felt as though she would never see him again.

"Is something wrong, Emma?" Killian spoke as he stopped just in front of the large French doors which led out to the patio, raising her hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

Emma looked up at him and saw his questioning blue eyes. She merely shrugged and shook her head. "Just a little homesick. That's all."

"You'll see him again someday, Emma. I'm sure of it," Killian replied and Emma had no idea how this man could be so in tune with the thoughts racing through her mind.

Without another word, Killian opened the glass door and walked Emma through it and onto the patio, where she gasped at the scene before her. She hadn't seen so much green in a very long time, ever since she remained in New York City after graduation. White chairs were spread out across the lawn, past the granite-tiled patio, with a chuppah placed at the very front, with white chiffon billowing with the wind and red roses circling the rods of the poles. Workers continued hurrying around, setting up tables on the patio, where the reception must be taking place. Killian tugged her away from the door, toward the edge of the fenced-in patio, as he continued to look outwards. Forests and mountains filled the view, with the bright blue sky in a strong contrast against the dark colors.

"It's beautiful," Emma spoke quietly, utterly hypnotized by the view. The wind picked up, strands of her hair floating in the wind as she looked at the swaying of the trees and the twirling of the chiffon of the chuppah.

(But she didn't notice Killian glancing over at her with soft eyes, taking in the sight of her flowing strands of hair and wondering what he must have done in his life to deserve an angel at his side.

It was a beautiful sight, indeed.)

"Both Robin and Regina agreed on a Jewish wedding, given that his son was already being raised Jewish and Robin wanted to continue that," Killian explained, his hand remaining around Emma's. "Cora wasn't nearly as agreeable as one would think"-Emma snorted and Killian smiled-"so she won't be attending today."

Emma's jaw dropped as she looked over at Killian. "Cora isn't coming to her own daughter's wedding?"

Killian nodded as he met Emma's stare. "She's overseas, trying to find the next hot star to take Hollywood by storm. She didn't particularly care for their relationship anyways, so she and Regina had a strained relationship anyways."

"How could she not approve? They're soulmates," Emma asked, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

(Oh Lord, did she know it wasn't.)

"Cora wanted Regina to be with this CEO of a security firm, who runs the bodyguards for most of Hollywood. Lots of money, of course, but the man's a complete prick. And just before their first date together, Regina ran into Robin when she was exiting her building for something to eat," Killian explained, smiling as he told the story.

"I take it that Cora didn't like that at all."

Killian shook his head as the smile faded slowly from his lips. "Not at all. She saw Robin as a messy rock star with an even messier divorce in his past, not to mention that he already had a child from this previous marriage. She didn't want the Mills name to be associated with him in any way, so she continued to try to set Regina up with Keith Nottingham, the CEO. Until Regina finally had enough and virtually cut all ties with her."

"I can't imagine that was easy," Emma murmured. Emma was sure that Diane would've tried to pull the exact same stunt with her, if Emma had remained in contact with her. Or Diane would've been overjoyed at the famous soul mate Emma had found and would've consistently tried to increase Diane's own standing.

"They never got along, throughout her entire life. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back, I suppose," Killian replied.

"How do you know all of this?" Emma asked, her eyebrows furrowing with the question.

Killian sighed. "When it was all happening, Regina was clearly having a rough time at work. I was there one day when she just blew up at her secretary for not having any pens. So I sat her down and after her drinking three glasses of scotch from her in-office bar, she talked. She just kept going for at least two hours, starting from when she was seven and her mother tried to monitor her eating habits."

Emma gasped. "That's awful."

Killian nodded. "Cora Mills isn't exactly the most pleasant person. I was surprised that after it all went down, Cora didn't drag my name through the mud. But since I was one of her biggest money-makers, I suppose she couldn't exactly do that."

Emma looked back out at the horizon, at the rolling hills of New York. "I guess Regina and I have a little bit in common."

And not a moment later, Emma felt Killian's lips upon hers, his free hand resting against her neck as his thumb rubbed her cheek. She felt breathless, her heart pounding and her head dizzy, and not a second later, his lips were gone. Emma heard his quiet chuckle under his breath as she swayed into his space to follow his lips.

"I just had to do that before the wedding is in full swing and we hardly get a moment to ourselves," Killian spoke quietly. "Let's go back inside; I have some people I want to introduce you to, if you would be open to that."

Emma's heart leapt into her throat, anxiety weighing her heart and mind down. But she nodded because this was something that she had to grow used to, meeting Killian's famous peers and being in the company of people who make more in a day than she does in a year and hoping that they wouldn't look down their noses at her.

She would do that for Killian.

---

Emma reminded herself to breathe again as she stood in front of yet another actress that was old friends with Regina (Emma had met so many that she couldn't keep their names straight). Killian talked to her as though they were old friends, sharing jokes and stories about their time with Regina and Robin, but his grip never wavered from Emma's hand. He always included her in his conversations, no matter who the friend was. Emma continuously tightened her hand around his as her hands shook with anxiety over meeting these celebrities. She had placed her clutch in the closed-off dining room, where everyone else had placed their cell phones and purses, so Emma couldn't hide her shaking hands.

In the middle of this conversation, just as the woman began talking about her new grandchild, Regina's father stepped into the living room and announced that the wedding would beginning soon and that they should all take their seats out on the lawn. With the announcement, Killian turned to Emma and smiled, tugging her along with his other hand in his pocket and they walked out of the open French doors, weaving through the endless tables across the two levels of the patio. Emma walked carefully in the grass, trying to keep her heels from sinking into the soft grass, and Killian laughed under his breath, swinging Emma up into his arms as she yelped in surprise.

"People are staring," Emma murmured at him as she looked up at him from her place in his arms while he walked toward the third row of seats.

"Let them," Killian responded, glancing down with a smile. "I'm simply trying to save your shoes from an undesirable fate."

Emma snorted as he navigated the third row sideways, so Emma wouldn't kick over the chairs in the row in front of them. "Or saving me from looking like an idiot by falling on my face."

Killian placed her down on a seat next to the aisle seat, which was where Killian took his place, unbuttoning his suit jacket and making sure he still had the kippah on his head, which he had grabbed on his way out to the lawn. "Actually, knowing these people, they wouldn't blame you. They'd probably laugh and then forget about it, or remember that the same thing has happened to them before."

"Doesn't stop it from being embarrassing," Emma replied, crossing her legs at the knee and smoothing her dress.

"If it did happen, I'd pick you up and if you chose to, we would leave immediately," Killian told Emma, placing his arm along the back of Emma's chair. "No harm done."

She looked over at him and saw that he sincerely meant every word that he said. If Emma wanted to, he would leave the wedding with her, as if it was something he wouldn't have to think over and question and complain about. He had given her an out back at his apartment, and now Emma knew that she always had an out. If Emma wanted to leave, he would leave-no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Emma reached over and smoothed her hand down his black tie, feeling the soft silk under her fingers. "I'm happy right where I am."

Killian smiled at her and butterflies filled her stomach and Emma hoped that feeling would never go away. "I am, too."

Soon, all of the chairs were filled up, save for a few in the front row. Violinists began playing a soft tune, alerting the guests that the wedding would soon be beginning. The guests all around continued their conversations softly, but Emma and Killian didn't need to talk. They just simply sat in each other's company, soaking in the beautiful day and scenery. In the back of Emma's mind, she wished that she had put some sunscreen on before sitting out in the unforgiving sun for the wedding, but it was too late to worry about that.

In fact, Emma didn't want to worry about anything. She just wanted to enjoy the wedding and Killian's company and not worry about the first impressions that were bound to go wrong and how she didn't belong here and they all probably thought she was some gold-digging tramp-

"Alright there, love?" Killian asked, taking her hand in his as he urged her to look him in the eyes.

Emma gave him a small smile. "I'm fine."

Killian raised an eyebrow, but before he could respond, the violins grew louder and everyone turned around to witness Robin walking down the aisle. She was surprised that they appeared to not have any bridesmaids and groomsmen, but Emma could respect the decision. They didn't need extra people up there with them when they married each other. The ceremony was about them and only them.

Emma peered over the numerous heads in her way and spotted Robin Locksley walking down the lush grass of the aisle, wearing a black kippah to match his black suit. He smiled at everyone he passed, gently waving and seeming like a pillar of calm. He passed Killian and Emma and firmly stood at the front of the chuppah, making eye contact with Killian and mouthing something. Killian seemed to nod in response and Robin shot him a thumbs up. Emma furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Killian, who was smiling at her.

"What was that about?" Emma asked quietly as the rabbi began to walk down the aisle to take his spot next to Robin.

Killian leaned over to Emma and whispered, "He asked me 'is that her?' He knows about us."

Emma looked back over at Robin, who was sharing words with John at his side. "So the thumbs up thing-"

"Was him stating that you are a beautiful woman and that he, nor I, have any idea how I won you over."

Emma felt herself blushing as she turned to look at Killian again, with his eyes soft as he stared back at her. In this moment, she was able to trick herself into believing that maybe-just maybe-Killian was in love with her. But she quickly reminded herself that soulmates didn't always work out and he would grow sick of her like everyone did and he'd abandon her, just like Diane did-

The violins' tune picked up and everyone stood and turned to face the back of the aisle. Emma could barely see through the endless shoulders of the guests as the violins continued to play while Regina and her father began to walk down the aisle. She heard gasps and whispers about how stunning Regina looked and soon, Regina appeared in Emma's vision and Emma learned that the whispers were not false.

She wore a simple white satin dress, with a high neckline and no sleeves. Regina carried a bouquet of red roses in her hands and her father walked by her side with a large smile on his face, her arm linked through his. A small birdcage veil hid most of her face, but Emma could see the happiness in Regina's large brown eyes, a gentle smile beginning to spread across her face. As Regina walked past Killian and Emma, her dress revealed a dramatically draped back, showing a small apple tattooed on her left shoulder blade. The fabric draped down to Regina's lower back and moved with every step toward the front of the aisle, and with the look on Robin's face as Regina walked toward him, he found her to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The guests sat back down as Regina stood across from Robin, handing her bouquet off to her father as he sat down in the very front row, beside the three other members of The Prince Of Thieves. The rabbi began the ceremony, speaking loudly over the steadily blowing wind. Emma looked at Regina and Robin and saw the love pouring into their stares with each passing moment. She felt Killian's hand wrap around hers and she looked over at him, meeting his stare as the rabbi spoke of love and spending all of eternity loving each other.

(She loved him and she could only hope that this would last.)

Robin and Regina chose to exchange their own vows, triggering most of the guests to tear up at their words. Robin spoke of Regina allowing Roland to become her son and creating their own family together with Roland and how much love their family will exchange in the years to come. Regina spoke of never believing she would find someone she would love and how Robin had brought light into her life and drove away the darkness. And after the words were exchanged, Roland jumped up from his chair in the front row and talked about how he was excited to finally have another mom and have a future sibling or two, which led to laughter from the guests and Regina and Robin smiling.

As the rabbi began to speak again, Emma got a flash of a future she deeply wished for: a simple wedding beside a beach with Killian by her side and whispering words of love and promises of their future together, while Mary Margaret and Ruby and Liam and everyone witnessed their union. Maybe a child with blonde hair and blue eyes that refused to be held by anybody else besides Emma as the waves crashed against the beach and the officiant announced them as husband and wife. Emma's heart pounded as she was brought back to the present with the shattering of the glass under Robin's foot and him sweeping Regina into his arms, dipping her down and kissing her.

And with that, they were Mr. and Mrs. Robin Locksley.

(Emma silently hoped to become Mrs. Killian Jones someday.)

---

An hour later and the reception was in full swing. In place of where the chuppah and the chairs were during the ceremony, a dancefloor existed there now, with a platform placed against the brick wall of the patio for the band to play the music. The dance floor was nearly filled to the brims of couples and of friends dancing, while Emma and Killian sat together at their assigned table, on the higher level of the patio. They continued to hold hands, not a moment passing where they weren't touching in some way. Emma felt warmth flow throughout her veins and she knew it was a reaction from Killian's proximity to her.

He made her feel safe and warm, even when surrounded by people who had nothing in common with her.

And just as Mary Margaret and Ruby had predicted, he hadn't left her side all evening. He was always strong and safe at her side, reassuring Emma that he wouldn't leave, which meant more to Emma than he could've possibly understood. But knowing Killian, he would try as hard as he could to understand every little thought that went through her head. And she loved him for that.

(She loved him.)

Emma tried to remember this every time a stray, demonic thought entered her mind about how she could never be happy for long and he would eventually tire of her and leave her behind when something new came his way. But she tried to not allow herself to believe those traitorous thoughts. She knew Killian better than that. She knew he wouldn't leave her, as he had told her as much. It was almost as though he loved her as much as she loved him.

(Which was an even scarier thought to believe in.)

"Would you like a dance, love?" Killian asked Emma, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Emma met his gaze and saw him awaiting an answer, with soft but eager eyes. "Of course."

Killian smiled and offered a hand to Emma as he stood. She gratefully took it and walked down to the dance floor with his hand around hers, ignoring the curious stares of the guests around them. No one had taken pictures of them, from what Emma had noticed, and she hoped their luck would continue, or that nobody was stupid enough to break one of Regina's rules about no cellphones. But that didn't stop her from worrying about word getting out about Killian Jones having a new girlfriend, which would inevitably lead to them learning about the exact nature of their relationship.

But Emma pushed those thoughts away, hoping it wouldn't come to that just yet. She just wanted to enjoy Killian's arms around her as he swept her into them when they stepped onto the wooden dance floor.

Her hand rested on Killian's shoulder as his own hand rested on her back, nowhere near being inappropriate or scandalous. Emma looked up at him and he smiled down at her as the band sang a slow song. The couples around them swayed around, matching Emma and Killian's speed, and Emma just listened and enjoyed the sweet sound of the music.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Swan?" Killian asked, dipping his head to speak into her ear.

Emma nodded as he pulled away and he smiled again at her. "Yeah. It's a lot more fun than I thought it would be."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Killian replied.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

Killian's smile widened as he spoke, "Emma Swan, we could be in the belly of a whale and I would enjoy it because I have you as my company."

Emma laughed under her breath and felt a blush fill her cheeks because how was this man even real? She didn't know what she did in her life to deserve a man who cared for her as much as Killian did. And she only hoped that God didn't make a mistake by sending him to her and that he wouldn't try to correct this mistake by taking him away.

They continued to sway on the dance floor, navigating through the sea of couples as the band continued to play the slow, voiceless tune. Emma's hand moved up to play with the ends of Killian's hair at the nape of his neck, to which he purred and shut his eyes to enjoy the feel of it. Emma smiled at the sight, seeing Killian becoming putty in her hands, and took a mental snapshot of the moment to file away for future reminiscence. His eyes opened and met her stare, sending her a smile that matched her own.

Before she could open her mouth to comment on how he was like a damn cat, the singer of the band returned and the guitarist began a familiar tune, plucking at the strings of his car while Killian smiled in excitement. Emma wanted to groan in annoyance because this song was just so damn cliché, but she couldn't with how happy Killian looked. Soon, the singer began singing the words to "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls and Killian pulled Emma even closer to him.

"I love this song," Killian murmured as they steadily moved around the floor. Emma shrugged and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You don't like this song?"

"It's just so cliché," Emma responded.

"It's cliché for a good reason," Killian replied, nodding over to their left. Emma looked over and found Regina and Robin dancing closely together, staring at each other as though there was nobody else around them. "It reminds people of that love that just takes over their entire soul. The kind that makes you stay up at night and think about the person every day. It tells people that that kind of love exists, and when you find it, everything will just make sense."

Emma gulped as she searched his endless blue eyes and she saw that he meant every word he said, especially as he began to softly sing the lyrics. God, she loved him so much and she could taste the words on her tongue, but it was not the time. Not with all of these people surrounding them and the fear of rejection settling deep within her bones. So all Emma Swan did was run her fingers through his hair and began to sing along with him with every verse.

Killian led Emma around the dance floor, the two of them singing the words of the song together. She ignored any curious glances over at them and just allowed herself to absorb the resonating sounds of the music. Emma let herself take in the warmth Killian offered, moving her body closer to his in the chilly summer night. She felt Killian press a kiss to the side of her head and she slowly closed her eyes to enjoy the feel of his body against hers.

(Robin and Regina danced nearby and Robin smirked, looking over at his new bride after watching his friend dance with his soul mate-someone Robin didn't think would ever come into Killian's life.

"They'll be engaged in six months."

Regina snorted as she stared back at Robin. "No way. It'll be over a year. She's skittish and he won't push her."

Robin smiled as he tucked a piece of Regina's hair behind her ear. "You're on, Mrs. Locksley.")

While the music slowly moved to a new song, Emma remained in Killian's arms, not wanting to move and end this moment. She wanted to remain there, holding onto him and inhaling whatever cologne he had chosen to wear. Feeling his warmth around her helped Emma believe that they were just an ordinary couple, with no fame and money in their way. Maybe as if he was the one she had met instead of Neal, in that coffee shop just off campus while she studied for her English final sophomore year.

(Oh, how different her life would've been if Killian had been the one to buy her that hot chocolate.)

"Is it bad that I want to stay like this?" Emma whispered under her breath, into Killian's ear as his cheek rested against hers.

"If it is, then we're both wretched human beings," Killian replied back just as gently and Emma melted just a little bit more into his arms, allowing herself to sway along with Killian as the band continued to play. "Though I can't say that I would mind."

Emma smiled and slowly pulled away just so she could look up into Killian's eyes, witnessing the emotions swim through them as he stared back at her. She could see how much he cared for her, and if she allowed herself to even fathom these thoughts, Emma could see how much Killian loved her. Never in her life had Emma felt so safe and secure and loved than she did as she danced with Killian, with his arm firmly around her waist and his hand around hers as it rested against his chest.

God, she loved him. So much that it felt as though her heart would burst with the sheer force of it.

But she couldn't say it. She wouldn't say it. Saying it would make it true and it would give the world the power to take him away, and Emma was selfish. Emma wanted to keep Killian as long as he would allow it and she would fight with every fiber of her being against any force that attempted to take him away. She wanted him to remain hers for the rest of their lives and for the rest of eternity.

(She wondered if their love would become the stuff of legends, written in the stars and told to future generations.)

(Emma could only hope it would.)

Killian's forehead dropped against Emma's as they continued to sway and she was overcome by the overwhelming urge to just say it, consequences be damned. But Emma mentally slapped herself, knowing very well how love had never treated her well in her past and that she shouldn't be too hasty. She needed to tread lightly, especially in a universe that never allowed her to be happy for long. So instead of allowing herself to speak the words, Emma said something that was much simpler.

"Can I kiss you?" She whispered and Killian's eyes reopened as he grinned at Emma, boyish and young and happy.

"There's no need for you to ask, Emma. The answer will always be 'yes,'" Killian responded just as quietly as his arm moved from around her waist to cup her cheek, swiping his thumb against the roundness.

Killian dropped his head down to Emma's, allowing her to reach up and press her lips against his. It was a simple, small thing, but it ignited Emma's bones. She wanted to feel his body against hers in the privacy of their own bedroom, with no clothes to dull any sensation. Her tongue swept against Killian's bottom lip and he pressed even further into her, his fingers finding their ways into Emma's up-do and loosening the strands of her hair. It felt almost as though they were already back at his apartment and not in the middle of the dance floor at the wedding of his publicist and her soul mate.

Emma slowly pulled away, her heart pounding and her hand firm against the nape of Killian's neck. She could feel the gentle puffs of Killian's breath against her cheek as the music picked back up and changed into something more upbeat and quick. The couples around them began dancing in tune with the music and Emma knew that the moment was gone and that it was time for them to leave the dancefloor. She allowed her hand to fall from Killian's neck and she wrapped her hand around Killian's, where it remained by her cheek.

"Maybe we should get a drink?" Emma suggested, her voice breathy and husky and not at all appropriate for a wedding.

"Of course," Killian replied, his hand squeezing Emma's as he lowered the joined hands down to their sides. He tugged Emma off of the dancefloor and back up the few steps of the patio, weaving around the tables and chairs to the French doors that led back into the house.

When they entered the house, their shoes clacking against the flooring, Killian led Emma over to the bar that had been placed in the far corner of the living room. They moved around the guests that milled about the room with their drinks in hand, navigating it like a maze. There were numerous tables within the large room, made high enough to stand at as the guests drank and chattered among their friends.

Killian had to squeeze the two of them between other couples that continued to stand at the bar long after their drinks had been served. The bartender made eye contact with Killian and he quickly asked for a water and a gin and tonic. Emma smiled because she had barely mentioned once that gin and tonic was her go-to drink and he had somehow remembered.

(It was the small things like this that made Emma believe that Killian loved her.)

It didn't take long for the bartender to hand the drinks over to Killian, who then turned to Emma and handed her the smaller glass of clear liquid. "Here's your gin and tonic."

"I'm surprised you aren't drinking," Emma replied as she stuck the thin straw into her mouth and drank a sip of her drink.

"I'm driving, remember? Can't afford to have any libations. I have precious cargo to keep safe."

Emma felt a blush fill her cheeks as she drank a little more of her beverage. She caught a sly smile on Killian's lips as he looked around her shoulder and waved a hand. "There's Robin and Regina. I suppose we should go and tell them 'congratulations.'"

Emma nodded and turned around, spotting Regina and Robin at one of the tables closer to the patio doors. Killian wordlessly took Emma's free hand and led her across the room, marching toward the newly married couple. She noticed how Robin's eyes never left Regina's form and Regina's blood-red lips remained in a wide smile and she hoped that this was the future that was in the cards for her and Killian.

(Please, let the universe allow it.)

Killian and Emma reached the table and Robin stepped from Regina's side to come around and hugged Killian, slapping his back as the two of them laughed in joy. Emma's eyes met Regina's from across the table and Regina offered a hand to her.

"You must be Miss Swan," Regina spoke as Emma shook her hand, her perfectly manicured, deep red nails in contrast to Emma's pale skin.

Emma nodded as she released Regina's hand, already beyond intimidated by the woman in front of her. "Yes I am. You had a stunning wedding."

Regina nodded subtly and smiled again as her hands clasped over each other on the table. "Thank you. I spent a year on it, so it had to be."

"She's also the definition of a perfectionist," Robin chimed in as he moved back to stand at Regina's side on the opposite side of the circular table. "It's one of her more endearing, yet infuriating, qualities."

Regina elbowed Robin in the side and he laughed under his breath, moving to press a kiss to the side of her head. "I'm only joking."

"He's not," Killian whispered into Emma's ear as his hand rested on her waist and she snorted, sipping on her drink again. Killian cleared his throat and looked back to his two friends. "So where're you two off to for your honeymoon?"

"Monaco," Regina replied simply. "Luckily, my father volunteered to take care of Roland for the two weeks we'll be gone, starting tomorrow. He'll be staying at our apartment in the city since Roland's starting school tomorrow."

"Not trusting Scarlet to do it, mate?" Killian questioned and Robin snorted, triggering laughter from Killian.

"Oh God no. I'm afraid his brooding would rub off on Roland," Robin joked. He chuckled lightly and tucked his hand into his pocket. "Actually, Will said that he would-Roland does love his Uncle Will-, but something sudden came up and he has to get back to England tomorrow morning. Regina's father volunteered a few days ago to watch him, thankfully."

"Ana?"

Robin nodded and Killian murmured 'oy' under his breath as he scratched the back of his head. Emma recognized the name as the famed model, on-again-off-again girlfriend, and soul mate of Will Scarlet. They were currently off again, due to Will's busy schedule of recording for the band and Ana's world travels for photo shoots and endless runway shows. And it sounded like they may be on the way back to being on again, according to this new development.

(Whomever said that soul mates were simple needed to be punched in the fucking face.)

"Yeah, he's catching his flight to Heathrow tomorrow morning," Robin continued, his hand going up to make sure his kippah was still firmly on his head. "We'll see what happens. I know he's wishing for the best, but I don't know at this point. It's been five years of back and forth between the two of them."

"I hope they figure it out. He deserves it," Killian responded, his hand tightening around Emma's waist. She looked up at him and she could see that the subject of Will and Ana's relationship was a sore spot for him, with the tightness of his jaw and the pressure of his hand against her waist.

She wondered why that was.

"Oh shit," Regina spoke suddenly and ran her hands over her dress, looking over Killian's shoulder. "My father is about to break out the scotch and nobody needs to see what comes of that. Excuse me."

Regina hurried away as Robin laughed under his breath, watching her walk away with love in his eyes. It took him a few moments to break out of whatever thoughts he was having, looking back at Killian and Emma with a smile on his face.

"So, how did you two meet?" Robin asked, clasping his hands together on the table.

Emma glanced up at Killian, who nodded at her encouragingly, as if he wanted her to be the one to tell the story. She smiled at him and she looked back to Robin, who was waiting eagerly for the story.

"Well, I was walking down the street one day, just after lunch with my friends, and a hoard of paparazzi came around the corner and one of them knocked me down since they weren't paying attention to whoever was behind them," Emma spoke as a smile spread on her face, her arm moving to wrap around Killian's waist. "And just after I hit the ground, I heard someone say 'bloody hell' and deep down, I knew the voice. But it wasn't until he helped me up and I saw him that I realized who he was."

Emma looked up at Killian, who was staring down at her adoringly. "And suddenly, the first color I saw was blue."

"And the first color I saw was green," Killian added, a smile playing at his lips.

Emma looked back at Robin, who was looking at the two of them intently. "Naturally, I ran away."

Robin laughed under his breath, his eyes darting between Emma and Killian. "How long ago was this?"

"Two months ago, just about," Killian replied, his thumb rubbing against Emma's hip.

"Would this be the same paparazzi incident Regina was angry about for a week?" Robin asked, his eyebrows shooting upwards in curiosity.

Killian laughed under his breath as he reached up and scratched behind his ear. "That would be the one."

Emma looked up at Killian with her eyebrows raised. "Paparazzi incident?"

"Well," Killian began as he looked back at her, tucking his hand into his pocket, "after you ran off, I yelled at the paparazzi to fuck off. Needless to say, Regina didn't like that very much."

Emma's eyebrows dropped into a furrow. "Why?"

"Well it meant bad press and a drop in Twitter followers-"

"Not why Regina was angry, 'cause I can understand that," Emma interrupted Killian, moving to clasp her hands together around her slowly dwindling drink. "But why did you get angry at the paparazzi? I mean sure, they can be absolute dicks and don't know personal space, but why?"

"Because my soul mate had just run off and in that moment, the only thing I cared about was finding you," Killian replied and Emma's breathing stuttered. "In that moment, I didn't consider the repercussions of yelling at the paparazzi. Just then, I was simply Killian Jones, the man who would stop at nothing until I found the woman who drew me in with the color of her eyes and completely flipped my world."

And Emma couldn't speak. She didn't know what to say. All she could think was that Killian Jones must be in love with her or he was the greatest actor of all time, because he spoke with such certainty and finality, as if it was entirely true. And her heart pounded inside her chest because she was sure that he did indeed love her and that meant this was all real and something was going to go wrong-

"Aww," Robin spoke and Killian began laughing under his breath. "How adorable."

"Piss off," Killian told Robin as Emma lifted her drink and began to sip on it earnestly. It was the only way to distract her from the thoughts plaguing her mind.

"I mean it as a compliment, Killian," Robin replied, smoothing his hand over his tie as he peered over Killian and Emma's heads. "Now, I must go find my bride before she gets swept into conversations with her cousins. They're all so pesky."

Robin walked away from the table, moving around Killian and Emma to walk toward the bar. Emma could sense that Killian wanted to say something, with how he shifted from foot to foot and scratched behind his ear. But Emma couldn't hear anything more regarding to how he felt when she ran away from him that day. She needed to breath and to not think for just a little while.

"I'm gonna go check my phone real quick," Emma spoke as she placed the now-empty drink on the table, stepping away from Killian's side. "I'll be back in a moment."

She walked away before hearing Killian's response, exiting the room through the large archway that led into the foyer. At least this would allow Killian time to talk amongst the guests without Emma hanging onto his arm. She wanted him to be able to talk to his friends without her on his side, being the ever present reminder that she was the outsider and that this was his world. She knew that he brought her along for a fun time-and Emma was having fun-but she was surrounded by people who made more in a day than she made in a year.

It reminded her that she did not deserve to live this life and that this was not where she belonged and that Killian belonged with those people and a soul mate who could actually afford to live-

She shook her head, trying to push away the thoughts that plagued her, and she walked toward the archway that led into the dining room. Emma began to pick at her nails as she began to overhear women's voices speaking in the dining room.

"-probably some gold-digging whore, anyways. She probably doesn't love him."

The other woman laughed under her breath. "She's probably some up-and-coming actress that'll dump him as soon as she gets her first movie role."

"Oh poor Killian. He's clearly in love with the girl. He's just gonna get his heart broken."

Emma froze just outside of the archway and ducked to the side, listening to the women's conversation. Her heart pounded against her ribs painfully because these women were talking about her. They were talking about her as if she was this girl who was using Killian and as if she wasn't his soul mate-

But they didn't know that Killian was the reason she could see colors. They didn't know that the world had brought them together and that he cared and she cared and she loved him-

"And did you see her face when she walked in? She was clearly scoping out new connections."

"That girl is clearly in over her head. I can't believe Regina allowed her to come with Killian. He's clearly just trying to get over Ursula and brought the first girl he found."

The other woman gasped. "Oh my god, what if she's an escort?!"

Emma's jaw dropped as the two women began to laugh. People thought she was an escort?

"That would be a new fucking low for him, my God. I mean, it would explain all of the bedroom eyes going on between the two of them."

"Ugh God, it's nauseating. Even if she isn't an escort, why would he bring some no-name girl to the biggest wedding of the year? Killian's lost his damn mind over some girl who's probably gonna dump him as soon as she hits it big."

"Maybe after that, he'll move onto me."

Laughter filled the room as Emma heard the clacking of heels, heading away from the archway she stood beside. "He's so out of her league, it's sad. Come on, let's go talk to him. Maybe we can get him away from her. She's been on his arm all fucking night, like a damn puppy."

Emma listened to the women exit the dining room, laughing as they walked through the doorway that led into the kitchen, the neighboring room to the dining room. She felt her world crashing down all around her. Clearly she hadn't been the only person to believe that she didn't belong her; the other guests knew that Emma didn't belong at this wedding or in this life. They had seen right through her, just like Emma thought they would.

She hurried into the dining room and quickly snatched up her clutch, which was resting on the table in the very place she had put it when they arrived at the wedding. After checking that everything was in her clutch (and ignoring the twenty texts from Ruby about how the wedding was going and how Killian was in the sack), Emma marched back out to find Killian. She wanted to leave, to forget about the laughs of the women in the dining room and the ugly things they had said about her.

She wanted to go home and forget the entire night.

Emma held her clutch in her hands, firmly in front of her, as she walked through the foyer and back into the living room. She looked around and saw people laughing and talking, as though they didn't realize that Emma's world was shifting and she felt as though she was a fraud. Emma quickly spotted Killian, standing at the same table she had left him at, but with two women in his company and Emma bet her ass that it was the same two women who had been talking about her in the dining room.

And she could not compete with them.

The blonde and the redhead leaned in close, flashing their perfect smiles and fluttering their eyelashes at him. A surge of jealousy swept through her belly and her arms and all she wanted to do was to run, far away from this fucking wedding and why did she even think this was a good idea to come here-

But just then, Killian looked over and met her eyes and a smile spread so widely on his face. The jealousy fell away from the sight of his smile because she could see that Killian was simply allowing them to talk to him to appease them. Emma attempted to smile back at him, but she remembered what the women had said about her-that she didn't belong her and she'd break his heart and she was out of her league-

Emma marched over to Killian, her knuckles turning white from the grip on her clutch, and stopped at his side. "Can we go?"

"Of course," Killian responded immediately, even though his eyebrows furrowed quickly in concern. She knew he could see that she was clearly bothered by something, but thankfully he didn't ask. "Let's say goodbye to Regina and Robin and then we'll head out."

Killian quickly took Emma's hand from where it was gripping her purse and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. He looked over his shoulder at the two women and bid farewell, and then he walked away with Emma on his arm. It didn't take them long to find Robin and Regina, as they were surrounded by elderly family members on the patio. The newlywed couple shot them grateful glances when Killian interrupted the pleas for children in the future and announced that he and Emma were leaving and they had come to say goodbye.

As Killian talked to Robin and Regina, shaking their hands and congratulating them again, Emma noticed that Regina could see that something was wrong. Regina's eyebrows furrowed and Emma tried to straighten herself up, to make it not as clear that those women had ruined her night and now her thoughts were plagued with their statements and Diane's statements and she wasn't good enough-

"Thank you for coming, Emma," Robin spoke, his arm tight around Regina's waist. "It was a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you for allowing me to come," Emma replied, a fake smile spreading across her face. "I had a lot of fun."

It wasn't five minutes later that Killian and Emma were back in the car, driving the hour and a half back into the city. It was nearing ten o'clock already and her feet hurt like hell and she just wanted to go to sleep and forget the entire day. She stared out the window at the dark night as Killian drove and found his way back to the highway. She watched the passing trees and the stars high in the night sky, which were bright against the dark expanse of the sky. Emma hadn't been able to see the stars this clearly since she had moved into the city and it was one of the things she had missed most about living outside of the city.

Looking up at the stars like this reminded Emma of when her life was uncomplicated.

(Well, less complicated. Because Emma's life was never uncomplicated.)

To keep Emma from becoming lost in her thoughts (she wasn't enough, she didn't belong-), she pulled her phone out of her clutch and checked it for the messages she was sure she had received. Just by turning her screen on, Emma could see that she had ten texts, all from Ruby. Even though Emma knew she should respond to the messages, her heart wasn't in it. She didn't want to see Ruby's incessant texts about how the wedding was and how Killian was in bed-

She just wanted to go home and forget about the night and "she probably doesn't even love him"-

"Emma-"

Emma's eyes slid shut at the sound of his voice and she shook her head. "Please-just don't."

"I wasn't going to ask you to talk about whatever's bothering you," Killian spoke, his voice gentle in the quiet of the car. "I was going to say that when you feel like talking about it, I'll be right here and I'm not going anywhere."

And Emma almost believed it. She could almost believe that he would always be there for her and that he cared for her and he possibly loved her. But then the words of the women at the wedding and Diane's words from weeks ago, which still haunted her every thought, came back to the forefront of her mind and Emma couldn't believe that this man-who made her the happiest she had ever been-could ever love her like she loved him.

Maybe Emma Swan was just better off alone.

---

Emma didn't speak for the remainder of the car ride; she just stared out the window and imagined a life where things weren't complicated and everything was easy and she had Killian at her side without any worries. But she gave up on thinking those thoughts because it was no use; it only gave her false hope about her life changing and things being easier. She had learned a long time ago that wishing for these things only hurt her in the end, so Emma tried her best to avoid any wishful thinking in her life.

And when they arrived back at Killian's apartment, Emma walked straight back to his bedroom to take off the heels that were murdering her feet. She heard Killian flip the lock on his front door and walk behind her to his bedroom, his shoes clacking against the hardwood floor as Emma found his bedroom door and twisted the knob to step into his bedroom. Their footsteps became muted against the carpeted floor and she heard the door close behind Killian.

And…well…she couldn't exactly blame herself for turning around quickly and tugging him down by his lapels, pressing her lips against his earnestly because it was the only thing she had wanted all night and it was only this way that would help her forget the insulting words of the jealous women in the dining room.

Killian's arms wrapped tightly around Emma's waist, tugging her even closer to him. Their bodies were completely pressed together and the need in Emma's belly was growing, the fire spreading into her limbs and she just needed him more than anything.

"Emma-"

Emma pulled away and shook her head. "Let's just not talk about it right now, okay? Just please."

"Actually, love," Killian spoke, chuckling under his breath as he itched behind his ear, "I have to go to the bathroom."

Emma snorted and slapped her hand over her face as she stepped away. "Right. Sorry."

Killian pressed one last kiss to Emma's lips, and then stepped away with a smile on his lips. And just looking at him like this, with the moonlight pouring through the curtains of his bedroom and that gentle smile on his face, Emma nearly believed that they could conquer the world together.

It felt as if nothing could get in their way.

Once Killian stepped into his master bathroom, Emma plopped onto his bed and bent down to pull her heels off, moaning in relief when her feet were free from the tight confines of the black pumps. She massaged at the red lines on her feet and stretched her toes, the dark red of her toenails in contrast to Emma's pale skin. She reached across the bed and slid her clutch onto the nightstand on her designated side of the bed. The structure of the bodice of the dress was beginning to dig into her sides, so Emma stood and tried to reach for the zipper in the back of the dress.

"Let me," Killian whispered in the quiet room as he stepped behind her.

Emma nodded and dropped her hands, allowing Killian to grip the zipper and slowly tug it down. Emma felt his fingers trail against the expanse of her back and with every small touch, Emma's skin erupted in flames. Her eyes slid shut when Killian's lips pressed against the length of her neck and her dress fell to the ground in a puddle.

Much like she felt.

"Have I told you how gorgeous you look?" Killian asked, his lips against her neck and his teeth grazing and Jesus fucking Christ-

"You may have mentioned it," Emma replied breathlessly, her back arching into Killian's touch as his hands settled on her hips.

Killian turned Emma around and she suddenly faced him, seeing that his eyes were blown black with lust and it told her that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Contrary to her thoughts, tainted by Diane and the women at the wedding.

"Then allow me to repeat myself," Killian spoke, his voice low and husky and full of desire. "You looked absolutely stunning and continue to look absolutely stunning, especially right now with your cheeks flushed and eyes wide. And I cannot believe that I have the privilege of being at your side."

Emma tilted her head to the side because she couldn't believe that she had him, that Killian was hers and hers only. It was hard for her to see it with all of the evil thoughts running through her mind, thinking over the rude statements from the bitches in her life and the nagging insecurities she always had from the hand she had been dealt in her life. But with how Killian looked at her, like she was the one who held the stars in the sky, Emma couldn't doubt what he felt for her.

He hadn't said it, but Emma knew Killian loved her.

"You mean that, don't you?" Emma asked quietly, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her nearly naked body against his still fully-clothed self.

"Of course."

Emma smiled gently as she looked into his young eyes. "You think you're the lucky one."

Killian nodded subtly and a hand cupped Emma's cheek lovingly. "I am. And I don't need to know what happened tonight-unless you want to tell me-, but I just want you to know that I'll always be here. Whatever happened must have caused you to doubt things, but I don't want you to doubt anything. Because Emma, you mean so much more to me than anything in my life right now and I don't want you to ever doubt me."

Emma noticed Killian's Adam's apple bob with a gulp and he shifted on his feet, his other hand coming up to cup Emma's other cheek. Emma could see it on his face, as clear as day-he was going to say it. He was going to confess his love to her and Emma's heart pounded against her ribs and she couldn't do this, not right now when her entire life was just twisted and turned from the foul words of random guests at the wedding.

"Emma, I-"

And Emma stood on her tiptoes and kissed Killian, swallowing his words and the groan that came quickly afterwards. She pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders, hearing it fall into a pile on the floor, and his arms returned to wrap around her waist. His nails scraped down her back and Emma couldn't help but moan into his mouth, gripping his shirt in her hands and tugging him closer.

It didn't take them long to find his bed, with Emma straddling Killian's hips and undoing the buttons of his shirt while his tie had been tossed over the desk in the corner of the room. His hips raised to meet hers, leading to Emma gasping against his lips because Jesus Christ it had been a long time since she had felt this good. And with how Killian sounded beneath her, breathless and groaning, she could tell he was enjoying this just as much.

"Fucking Christ, Emma," Killian moaned, his hips jerking upwards again and his hands finding each individual bobby pin in Emma's hair and flinging them elsewhere to allow her hair to fall over her shoulders.

Emma finally finished unbuttoning his shirt and moved it away from his body, slowly removing herself from Killian's lips and began to kiss her way down his chest and stomach. His coarse chest hair tickled Emma's lips as she moved downwards, her hands finding the leather belt on Killian's pants and beginning to unbuckle it. When Killian's mind caught up with what Emma was doing, she could nearly hear his heart pound even quicker and his breathing grow even heavier.

And when Emma finally unbuckled the belt and quickly undid the button and zipper of Killian's pants, she met no resistance when she tugged the pants down his legs. She peeked up at Killian and he had propped himself up on a pillow, looking positively sinful with his hair sticking up wildly and his teeth biting down on his bottom lip.

"You know you don't have to do this," Killian spoke, his voice deep.

"I want to, Killian," Emma replied back immediately, making full eye contact with him as she tugged away the boxer briefs he had chosen to wear that day. "You do a lot for me and for once, I wanna do something for you."

She always knew that he would be the kind of guy who would insist on pleasuring the woman, but Emma wanted to do something for him for once in this relationship they've stumbled into. He constantly supported her and believed in her and never once doubted her, when that seemed to be the only thing Emma ever did for him. She wanted to make him feel good. She wanted him to not doubt her own feelings toward him. She wanted to make him happy.

It was the least she could do for the man she loved.

Emma looked back down when his cock was free and didn't waste a moment before licking the underside of it, along the thick vein there. Killian gasped out a string of curses that would've made a sailor blush. She laughed under her breath and just before Killian was able to say something in response, Emma took the entirety of him into her mouth.

She hummed around him as his hands found their way into her hair, which had fallen over shoulders, free of all of the bobby pins that were now undoubtedly lost. Killian's hands didn't press against her head in force, but instead in gentle support. She reached up as she bobbed his length in and out of her mouth, her hand finding Killian's and weaving her fingers through his. His gentle moans filled her ears as Emma's twirled her tongue around him, moving upwards to tease at the head of his cock.

"Oh fucking Christ," Killian groaned out, his hips jerking slightly again.

Emma laughed around him as she took him back into her mouth, humming gently. His fingers tightened in her hair, the pain taking a pleasurable turn. The head hit the back of Emma's throat and Killian grunted out more curses, the sounds of his pleasure making her wetter than she had been previously. Her thighs pressed together, desperate for friction, but this night was for Killian. She wanted to help him feel everything that he made her feel and that was enough for her.

Her teeth grazed Killian's cock and his hips jerked yet again. She could hear his breathing growing even heavier, telling her that he must be getting close. So Emma began to hollow out her cheeks with every bob, allowing her mouth to wrap even tighter around Killian. His fingers grasped her hair even tighter than before and it was only a short amount of time before Killian began gasping out that he was getting very close.

So naturally, Emma took the entirety of his cock into her mouth again and it triggered his orgasm.

His seed shot against the back of her throat and she swallowed it down quickly, being sure to not allow the bitterness of his seed to touch her tongue. Emma pulled away slowly, wiping her mouth across the back of her hand, and she looked up at Killian, whose head plopped back against his pillow as he tried to regain his breath.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Emma asked as she stood up, her knees aching from kneeling on the carpeted floor for so long.

"Yes. Yes, I did," Killian replied, staring up at the ceiling. "Very much so. You're very good at that."

"So I've been told," Emma told Killian, not ashamed of the fact.

Emma went to go brush her teeth-sharing Killian's toothbrush, at his insistence-and when she returned, Killian was under his blankets and eagerly awaiting Emma's return. He smiled sleepily when he spotted her coming around the corner from the bathroom. She smiled in return as she tugged the t-shirt Killian had left out for her before they left for the wedding and she crawled into bed with him, settling on her side to face him.

The very first thing he did was lean forward and sweep a lustful kiss against Emma's lips. She gasped as he tugged her close to him, their bodies pressed together from thighs to chest. The kiss was lazy, tongues sweeping against the other and shared moans, and Emma could tell that Killian was hardly awake at this point. So she pulled away and placed her hand on his cheek, his eyes crinkling with a sleepy smile.

"You're exhausted," Emma pointed out, her head resting fully against the pillow.

"I would like to return the favor though," Killian responded, but made no move to kiss Emma again.

"In the morning, maybe. Granny gave me the day off because she wanted me to enjoy the wedding," Emma replied, her skin raising under Killian's touch against her waist.

"Did you?" Killian asked, his voice growing quieter.

Emma nodded. "I did."

Killian smiled toothlessly as he tugged Emma close, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his nose into her neck. "I'm happy you did."

"Did you?"

"Of course."

"You mean that?"

Killian pulled away and rested a hand on Emma's cheek, his eyes an even brighter blue than before (and Emma had no idea that was possible). "I do. I enjoyed every moment by your side. And for the few times you were gone, everyone else made it known that they enjoyed your company as well."

Emma couldn't resist the smile that spread on her lips at the fact. "Really?"

Killian's smile matched hers. "Yes. They all loved you. They all know that you're good for me, as I've always thought."

Emma leaned forward and kissed Killian one final time, just a small little peck to show her appreciation for everything he had said and done that night. When she pulled away, Killian moved a little closer, their noses nudging in an adoring gesture.

"Good night, Emma Swan."

"And good night to you, Killian Jones."

---

It was the sudden chiming of Emma's cell phone that jarred her awake, early the next morning. She groaned as she twisted in bed, pulling away from Killian's sleeping form, and she reached into her clutch to grab her phone. The sudden light of her screen hurt Emma's eyes and she groaned again, noticing that it was Mary Margaret who was calling her. Suddenly, anxiety twisted in her gut because it was nearly 6:30 in the morning and the only reason Mary Margaret would be calling so early was that something happened-

"Hello?" Emma asked in a panicked tone, pushing her loose hair away from her face.

"Emma, get on the internet now!" Mary Margaret spoke hurriedly.

"I'm not at home," Emma replied, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Well, get onto Killian's computer or something. You have to look at the news!" Mary Margaret repeated and Emma could hear rustling of papers on the line.

Emma sighed and stood from Killian's bed, her joints cracking loudly as she walked over to his desk. She sat down in the leather chair and shook the mouse to wake up Killian's computer, seeing that she needed a password to access the desktop.

"Hey, what's your password?" Emma called over to Killian as she continued to hold the phone to her ear.

"Yo ho, yo ho," Killian murmured into the pillow.

Emma snorted as she typed the letters in. How unsurprising.

"Are you online yet?!" Mary Margaret practically screeched.

"Jesus Christ, Mary Margaret. Hold on," Emma told her friend as she opened the browser and quickly found a news site. It took a minute for everything to load and oh my god-

"Oh my God!" Emma nearly screamed. Her heart pounded against her ribs and this could not be fucking happening. No, no, no-

"Emma, what is it?" Killian asked at Emma's side, looking at the screen in front of her. His face went ashen as he read the headline. "Oh shit."

Killian Jones' Mystery Gal: Click Here for the Hot Wedding Details

Killian Jones Looking Cozy with Unknown Blonde

"The Bedroom Eyes Were Off The Charts," Says Guest at Regina Mills' Wedding

And within every single article, a blurry cellphone picture accompanied the text, showing Killian and Emma closely entangled as they danced. Emma remembered the moment where that photo must've been taken, overwhelmed by this life and how much love she felt for the man in front of her.

"Emma, I had to call you as soon as I saw it," Mary Margaret said gently. "I didn't want you to be surprised with it when you had to go home."

"Mary Margaret, I'll talk to you later," Emma spoke, her voice soft in shock as she hung up the phone on her friend.

As Emma reread the articles over and over again, she could feel the panic continue to build within her chest. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to be okay and the wedding was supposed to be private, but Emma was staring at a photo that told her that it wasn't private and now everyone knew about their relationship and it was supposed to be okay-

"Emma, love-"

Emma pushed away from the desk and stood from the chair, collecting her normal clothes from on top of Killian's dresser and tugging them on because she needed to get out. She needed to breathe and to reevaluate everything because this wasn't the sort of life she was meant to live and everyone would see through her, just like those women from last night-

"Emma, please, let's talk," Killian spoke as he walked over to Emma, his eyes pleading.

Emma shook her head as she tugged her shirt over her head. "I can't. I need time to think."

"Emma, it'll all be okay-"

"But it won't, Killian!" Emma replied, running her hands through her knotted hair. "I don't belong in this life! I thought we would have time to get used to us before all of this, but no matter what, we would've had to go public and this is not the kind of life I belong in! I have a past and people will look down on me and they already do look down on me and I just-I can't do this right now."

Emma's heart broke at the look on Killian's face, as he searched her eyes and his own eyes welled up with tears that Emma wished she hadn't caused. But she was telling him the truth: she would not do well in the limelight, with a haunting past that people would attack her for and the whole fact of being the soul mate to one of the hottest heartthrobs in Hollywood. She didn't fear her love for him (for once in her life), nor his love for her, but she did fear what would happen to her (to them) when they did go public with their relationship.

She just couldn't risk it. Not right now. And maybe not ever.

"I'm sorry, Killian," Emma spoke, her heart breaking and her eyes welling, and she walked out the door.