Raven comes back to the Tower after the episode 'Prophecy' and tells the Titans what everything that happened means. This story is her thoughts before and after she tells them.
I do not own Teen Titans. End of story.
I sat cross-legged in my room, chanting, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." My mouth was forming the words effortlessly, but my brain was thinking about everything but those words.
It had hurt. It had hurt something deep inside me when Slade came back. He had told me that it was a gift. I was to create something he had only dared to dream about. I was to do everything he wished he could do.
I had tried so hard all my life to fight what was inevitable. Ever since I found out what I was created for, I had done the opposite of what was expected of me. Instead of accepting my destiny and giving in to the evil that plagued me, I fought it. I joined a team of superheroes and became a do-gooder.
How was I to know that I would get so attached to my partners in crime fighting and become their friend? I had sworn that I would never put this burden on them, that I would take my own life before I endangered theirs with this secret.
They're down in the main room, right now. Without even trying to find out through my powers, I know they are.
They're trying to figure out why Slade came back, and what he wants with me.
What if I told the Titans what I am? Would they, like the people of Azarath, push me away? Would they no longer want to be my friend because of the evil that is inside me?
It is a chance I must take. What other choice do I have? They will find out, sooner or later. Even if I do not tell them, he will come out. Which is better for them? To give them a forewarning and try to keep them safe, or giving them the shock of their lives when I disappear and a full-powered demon comes out of me?
I have to tell them.
I can see their faces now, in my head.
Robin will back away from me, mistrust and horror crossing his masked face. He will wish he had never allowed me to become a Titan, never allowed me to be his friend. He might even kick me out of the Tower. I deserve it for putting them in this danger.
Cyborg will not believe me at first. But when he realizes that I'm not attempting to make a joke, he'll back away from me as well, as if standing too close to me would kill him. He'll try to see the light of the situation, saying that "we can totally kick this guy's butt." But we can't. I know we can't.
Starfire may be the first to understand what I am talking about. Her people are used to evils such as him plaguing their planet. They're used to this type of horror. But never have they faced anyone like him. She'll stop her usual hovering, and I can see her crestfallen face in my head now.
And Beast Boy. I have grown closer to him since both of us were betrayed by loved ones. Now I am betraying him. I can see his ears droop, just like they do every time he's upset. He'll look at me in disbelief, wondering how he could ever allow himself to be my friend. I won't be his friend anymore. I'll be "just another villain." Just like Terra.
I un-crossed my legs, and levitated myself onto the floor. I stood up, and began walking towards the door of my room. I paused for a split second, then opened it.
I had to tell them.
- - - -
Raven hid her face in shame after she told her friends what she was destined to create. She closed her eyes, waiting for the shouts that would surely follow this announcement.
The shouts did not come. Instead there was silence as everyone took this in. Unable to look at their faces, Raven bowed her head and walked over to the window, looking out upon the city that had once been a sanctuary.
It was to be no more. Everything was to be destroyed: her home, her world, her friends.
She felt something place itself firmly around her shoulders. She winced, closing her eyes, waiting for whatever it was to push her aside, for angry voices to start demanding answers to why she did not tell them sooner.
Nothing happened.
She looked to her right, and saw Starfire, Cyborg, and Robin staring out on the city. Their faces were not creased with anger; each bore a look of surprise, no doubt denying that, but there was also determination.
Looking to her left this time, she saw Beast Boy. His arm was around her shoulders, and he was looking out upon the city. His mouth was set in a straight line and his eyebrows were slightly furrowed. Noticing her glace, Beast Boy turned his face to look at her.
"Everything's going to be okay," he said, smiling slightly.
"I hope you're right," Raven admitted, and gave him a smile as well. Inside her head, however, there was no smiling. She knew that no matter what she said, nothing would ever be okay again.