Disclaimer: Let me say it to you this way: if I owned Naruto, I would be filthy rich. But seeing that I'm not filthy rich, I don't own Naruto.
Author: Guess who? Yup, it's me, again. Here to give you another installment (aka chapter) of this fic. Why? Because I love all of you. Aren't I sweet? So here it is, fresh from my computer at home.
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Chapter 3: A few nice long talks at the wrong time
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Naruto patted his belly, obviously in pure content with himself.
"I'm impressed Naruto, I've never seen someone eat so much ramen in one sitting." said Sakura as she eyed the pile of bowls stacked in front of him.
"Well, it's been a while since I've had a decent meal." replied the blond while taking out his wallet to pay the old ramen maker.
"And when was that?" asked Sasuke in an oblivious tone.
"I think it was two, maybe three days ago." replied Naruto.
"Well, that's good. However, it's still alarming how emaciated you look." added Sakura.
"Or maybe it was two or three weeks."
His teammates looked at him in shock.
0.0;
"No, maybe two, three months."
0.0;;
"Well, all I know is that is was sometime in the past three years…" said Naruto finally.
The author notes that by this time, the sweat drop count was so high that Sakura fell over, Sasuke being strong enough to withstand the weight.
"Come on kid, you can't remember your last fucking meal?" asked Kyuubi by their mental link.
"It's not like raw, worm-laden rabbit meat, rock solid acorns and mushrooms that are poisonous to the human body are considered decent meal material. Half of the food I ate could've killed me!" replied Naruto mentally, remembering all of the labor he used to put into looking for food.
"Naruto? Oh Naruto!" said Sakura as she passed her hand in front of his eyes, making him snap out of the conversation he was having with Kyuubi.
"Huh?"
"You've been staring into space for the past five minutes! Are you okay?" asked Sakura with a look of concern on her face.
"Oh! Uh, yeah! I'm perfectly fine! Just thinking about who our new sensei will be!" lied Naruto blatantly.
"Which means we should go now." said the raven haired boy coldly as he got off his stool.
The three genin vanished.
The old man took off his glasses and wiped them.
"I'm getting to old to serve ninja of any rank some ramen. They're too unpredictable…"
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When the bell rang for the students to come into the class, everyone took their seats from this morning.
One by one, jounin would come into the room and call out a squad member's name, to which the squad would take off with the new instructor.
One by one the squads and their jounin left, until only Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke remained.
So they waited for their instructor.
And waited.
And waited.
Naruto was growing more insane by the minute.
"I can't take this anymore!!!!" yelled out the boy.
"Naruto! You have to keep your calm!" said Sakura, though she was as annoyed as him as well. Sasuke didn't even flinch.
Finally, the boy got up, walked to the chalk board, took the eraser and took out some bizarre brown goop from his pocket. The smell was so overwhelming, that both Sakura and Sasuke gagged.
"Naruto, what the hell is that?" asked Sakura as she blocked her nose.
"I think it used to be gum, an apple core and mold." replied the boy as he poked the substance a bit before putting it on the eraser, checking if it would hold.
"And what exactly are you going to do with that?" asked Sasuke in a half-bored tone.
Naruto opened the classroom door slightly and placed the eraser at the top of the door.
"It's actually quite simple: the jounin will put his hand to grab hold of the door. While opening it, his head will come in first, to see if we're still here. The minute his head passes the door, bam! The goop is going to fall on his hair! That will teach whoever it is not to be late on such an important day!" replied Naruto while he laughed maniacally.
The others just stared at him in disbelief.
--;
"Naruto, the jounin will see right through it! I'm sure he or she isn't that dense." said Sakura, even if deep inside, she wished that the plan would work out.
A hand grabbed hold of the door, and before long, what Naruto had said came true. Sakura was just shocked that it actually played out exactly as the boy had said.
Oo;
He laughed loudly.
"Hah! Got ya!" said Naruto as he pointed to the jounin defiantly. His expression suddenly melted away when he took the time to look at his sensei's face.
"You…" muttered the boy as he glared at the man angrily.
The silver-haired man took the eraser off of his head and examined the goop.
"First impression? Not much." Simply replied Kakashi as he took the rest of the goop out of his hair.
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The sun shone brightly as the four individuals sat in the middle of the village.
"So, Kakashi-sensei, I was wondering if you could tell us more about yourself." said Sakura to the quiet adult, while her comrades were either glaring at the instructor, or completely ignoring him.
"What do you mean, Sakura?" replied the instructor calmly as he read his little orange book.
"She means that all we really know about you is your name, rank and your interest in dirty books." added Naruto sharply, before his pink-haired comrade elbowed him in the stomach.
"Well, that's all you really need to know."
oO;
"Now, will any of you have the courtesy of telling me more about yourselves, or can we all just go home?" said Kakashi over his book.
"Fine." replied the three genin in a sheepish tone.
"My name is Sakura Haruno. I like to read and a –um, certain…boy (at that she blushed violently as she glanced at Sasuke). I dislike pointless lectures and people who aren't themselves. My dream is to become the best kunoichi possible. "
If she wasn't so obsessed with the Uchiha boy, maybe she would be a worthy genin. thought Kakashi as he eyed her for a few instants, before looking at the said Uchiha.
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I don't like anything in particular. I dislike many things. My dream is more like a goal: that to eliminate a certain person."
Interesting perspective on this one. Doesn't seem to let that many things get to him. thought the instructor calmly.
"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen and walking alone in the forest. I dislike waiting for ramen, perverts and sleeping on extremely lumpy surfaces. My dream is to become the greatest Hokage this village has ever seen, so that I'll receive the respect I deserve in life."
He sounds simplistic and determined. Lots of raw material to work on, in other words. thought the silver-haired man.
Uzumaki… Where have I heard that name before? It sounds so familiar, I know it. thought Sakura as she tried to put the name into a category, before giving up.
"Okay, here's tomorrow's schedule: you all come to the clearing not too far from here first thing in the morning, without having eaten any breakfast. I expect all of you to be there." said the jounin in a somewhat monotonous tone, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
The three genin were left a bit in awe before they all decided to leave as well.
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The next morning Sakura was up bright and early. As she was getting dressed and brushing her hair, she eyed the pile of scrolls that were stacked next to her door and sighed.
That's right; I have to give all those scrolls to Naruto. He doesn't live too far away from here, so I don't think that's going to be a problem…
As soon as she was done, she took out a large backpack and stuffed all the scrolls into it before heading off to his apartment complex. During the small walk, the same question was bothering her over and over again.
Why can't I remember where I've heard that name? I'm positive that I've heard it before meeting him.
Then it finally hit her. She remembered where and when she heard that name. If so, that would mean-
Finally she stood in front of an old off-white building and opened the door, thus distracting herself. After asking the receptionist the apartment number, she went up a flight of stairs and walked down a bare corridor, where she eventually found it.
The door was slightly open, so she pushed it open some more and slipped in. It was just as she thought: a far off corner was filled up by a growing pile of garbage, and the furniture was dusty. Still, at least the table, floor and refrigerator were pretty clean.
Sakura saw an auburn colored door and headed for it. Before she could open it, however, she heard something strange, not to mention that there was a bizarre translucent orange-colored mist emanating from a small crack.
" Well kid, what are you going to do? You can't blow off the exam. We've worked too bloody hard for you to just turn around and call it quits." said a sharp, raspy voice.
"Hey, I know that too! You're not the one who has to go through all the physical stress factors!" whined out Naruto.
Sakura tried to get a closer look and opened the door slightly. A loud crack resonated in the apartment.
"Who's there?" let out a panic-stricken Naruto while he summoned Kyuubi back within his body.
"Ummm…it's me, Sakura." Replied the girl as she opened the door completely.
He straightened out his black shirt. She noticed that he had slept in his clothing, what with all the wrinkles and all.
"Sorry to barge in on you, but I saw that your apartment door was opened…"
"Ah, it's okay! Really!" said the blond as he plastered a huge grin on his face.
"C'mon! Let's get a move on! Leave that stuff over there."
"Oh, okay…"
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The walk was dead silent. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.
"Who are you?" she asked cooly.
"Come again?" replied Naruto.
The wind started to blow harder. Leaves were falling between them.
"Come on, you think that you can just come here to take someone else's name!? that's disrespectful for the dead!"
"Sakura, what are you talking about? My name's Naruto Uzumaki, and it's been that since I was born!" replied the boy angrily.
She scoffed, took his hand and dragged him towards the children's cemetery, a sorry excuse for a burial lot. She pointed towards a small tombstone and read out loud:
"Here lies Naruto Uzumaki, last of the clan's bloodline. Died at the age of six. A boy who lost his way before he could even find it. Try to explain that!"
His face darkened as his fist clenched, drawing a little blood.
"That ass…"
"What?"
"That ass better have a good reason for doing this!"
He turned around sharply and headed to the clearing. Sakura tried to follow, but gave up once he disappeared from her sight and started running towards the clearing by a shortcut.
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Kakashi was reading his book in silence. He was wondering what the others were doing; Sasuke was the only genin present.
Naruto suddenly appeared in a small haze. His eyes were icy blue as he glared at the silver-haired man.
"You asshole. This ends right here, right now!"
Kakashi eyed the blond over his book.
"What on Earth are you talking about?"
Sakura finally arrived, huffing and puffing to no tomorrow.
"Naruto, what are you going to do?" she asked between breaths.
Kakashi closed his book and took out two silver bells.
"Okay, here's the exam: two of you have to take a bell away from me before noon. Of course, this means that one of you will undoubtedly fail and be sent straight back to the academy. If you don't take one from me by the end of the day, you'll all fail miserably and head back to the Academy. The exam starts now."
Sakura and Sasuke were a bit set aback, but quickly regained themselves to disappear within the trees. Only Naruto and Kakashi were left.
The boy crouched and lunged towards the jounin. He took out a kunai and threw it towards him.
Kakashi dodged the kunai. Naruto smirked.
"Scorpion Tail Jutsu!" he pulled on the chakra string, making the knife veer towards the adult, all while he was getting closer to him.
The jounin dodged the weapon again, which spurt back in the air to attack him again. The genin flipped over and tried to kick him in the neck.
The two other genin were just watching from their hiding spots.
"Interesting." Said Sasuke in a bored tone from high-up in his tree.
"What is?" asked a puzzled Sakura, who was hiding a few feet lower.
"We're witnessing right now one of the clans of Konoha fight with a kakegenkai that hasn't been seen in a while."
"What?"
"The Uzumaki clan was known as the Animal Tamers for the sole reason that it's fighting style is completely unpredictable and that the techniques that are used make references to all living creatures."
"Which means that he's a true Uzumaki, right?"
"Why wouldn't he be?" asked the black-haired boy.
She bit her lip.
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Meanwhile, the fight was raging on.
Naruto was slowly starting to breathe heavily and wiped off a bit of sweat. The only thing that indicated that Kakashi was having a bit of trouble was the fact that he put his book away and had a few small cuts here and there, but other then that, he was still able to dodge the boy's attacks.
"Naruto, I think we need to talk-"
"No! You had your chance to talk to me six years ago, and you didn't even use it! You just left me all alone, so that you wouldn't take the responsibility of taking care or a child!"
He lunged at him. The jounin gave him a skilled kick and sent him flying towards the water. Naruto back-flipped and landed perfectly on the surface of the lake.
Well, it's good to know that his chakra control is near flawless thought Kakashi, before dodging another myriad of attacks and launching a few of his own.
Sakura was wondering what the hell was going on. Sasuke just kept on watching, analyzing the perfect time to get into the fight.
"Look Naruto, I'm sorry that I was a bad step-parent-"
"Bad doesn't even touch the tip of the iceberg!"
He landed a punch on his sensei. A cloud of smoke suddenly emerged, revealing a log that was broken into thousands of pieces.
Sasuke suddenly appeared.
"Stop hogging the fight, baka!" said the boy cooly before he threw a shuriken towards a mound of dirt.
"Sasuke, don't!"
Too late. The shuriken barely touched the mound of dirt when a multitude of strings sprung up, unleashing a multitude of various traps involving shuriken, kunai, scythes and various other sharp metallic weapons.
The Uchiha boy dodged them all easily. Naruto barely had to move to dodge them all.
A scream resonated within the canopy of trees. Sakura fell on her bottom, her limbs visibly cut all over.
Kakashi appeared in a puff of light purple smoke, holding his book.
"Well, while you were having fun, I bought some lunch. However, Sakura, seeing that you just sat there in your tree like a hapless bird, you won't get any. And if I see any of you two try to give her any, you will all fail."
She dragged herself up and glared at him the message that food wasn't her first priority at the moment, taking out a roll of bandages.
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Of course, an hour later she was totally regretting it and clutched her stomach.
Naruto passed her his boten lunch.
"Here, I'm not hungry anyways. I'm still stuffed from yesterday's ramen." He let out a huge grin.
Sakura eyed the lunch.
"I can't accept it-"
"And why not!? Just because some half-blind ass tells us not to feed you, doesn't mean I'm gonna let you starve to death! He's not even here!"
Finally she took the lunch.
Rain clouds started to gather and a large lighting bolt crashed down barely four feet away from them.
Kakashi stood up, staring at them with his one visible eye.
"You three…pass. This was all a test to see how you're teamwork was. My previous groups obeyed word for word and failed because they only thought about their own success…" and he babbled on for another hour.
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The sun was setting when Sakura arrived home.
Argh, today was so freaking confusing…
She flopped on her bed and started thinking.
If Naruto is actually alive, then whose tomb is it?
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Naruto glared at the silver-haired man.
"Okay, now you tell me what the hell went on when I left?"
"It's really quite simple." said Kakashi over his book.
"Do you understand the importance of what I'm asking you to do?" said the old man calmly as smoke streamed out of his mouth.
"It's perfectly clear. You want me to stage a murder." Replied Kakashi.
"Make it look like it was an accident. I don't know, make a clone that looks like the boy and drop it off in a ditch, by the river, anywhere, just as long as it looks like it wasn't done on purpose." Restated the Hokage as he continued to suck on his pipe.
The jounin sighed.
"Why exactly am I the one who should do this?"
"You're all that Naruto could consider as family, and I want it to remain unknown that he ran away. Besides, you accepted, saying that you clearly had nothing better to do." He smiled wryly.
"Fine, I'll do it."
Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke.
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Author: I'm finally done this freaking chapter! I just got really annoyed with the fact that it kept going on and on and on, so I cut it short. Forgive me if some parts feel rushed, I just snapped and wrote whatever…