A/N- This chapter is one of my favorites that I added in later after mapping out the new edition of this story. I hope you enjoy it! Please follow or leave a review to let me know what you think! Also please note there have been a few changes to chapter 1 for purposes of later chapters that I have already written and to align with them... So please go back and read chapter one closely...
Chapter 27
Location: Naberrie Residence, Naboo
Month 7 Day 33 Year 28 BBY
The evening sun shone bright in the sky. Padme leans back against the deck towards it's warm rays. Tonight is her last night to soak up the rays of her beloved sun and home planet. She and Rush are to return to Coruscant in the morning. He had received an urgent business call from someone within his office about a meeting with Count Dooku in two days' time. Padme' didn't really care to hear about the meeting, although after getting off his com. link Rush seemed to be more agitated as well. He had begun drinking about an hour ago and he is eyeing her company for later. She knows what he wants. He wants her to warm his bed on her own without him forcing her into his bed, which wouldn't happen ever again. She'd sworn that no man would ever force her into his bed ever again. She'd rather die before that happens again.
She can hear the rustlings of the leaves on the trees, ready to spill their fine leaves on the ground come fall. She has always loved the autumn season here on Naboo. The days would become cooler and the nights are filled with warm cider on the porch or the balcony. A part of her yearns to just come back home- to never leave again.
If you'd just tell your family the truth, they'd understand. Her mind whispers to her, but she knows someone will end up in a jail cell or on death row. Murdering someone even if it is a good cause is considered a death penalty in the Empire. She could never see herself murdering anyone- unless they had been responsible for someone she loves demise. If anyone should hurt someone she loves or her close friends, she wouldn't think twice- though she has considered killing Rush for what he's done for her.
She senses a familiar comforting presence brush up against the back of her back. His hand finds her shoulder and she does not wince at his gentle touch. She should want to jump out of her skin since being hurt and punished by Rush, but Anakin's touch felt healing in an odd way.
Hey, want to take a walk?
His mind brushes against hers into their private bond. She opens her eyes and peers up into his blue gaze. She shakes her head and stands to her feet. He offers her his arm as a casual gesture which is ignored and they begin a quiet stroll away from the grounds. Her eyes stay planted on the beautiful trees and on the clear blue skies ahead of them. She inhales the beautiful scents of the nearby lilac bushes and just takes in her surroundings and the comfort of her friend's company.
They move quietly through the grove of trees on the edge of the property- far from jealous green eyes watching his wife go off with another man. Padme' knows Rush doesn't think of Anakin as a threat in that manner. Anakin is too busy with his studies to be involved with anyone as of now anyway. He has a year left of his training at the Academy and then will continue his training as an Inquisitor commander. He has no time for anyone other than a quick fancy for a night or two.
They move in stride with one another and Anakin finally breaks their comfortable silence. He questions, " I know I shouldn't be asking you this, but I've heard concerns from your sisters- is everything okay with you and Rush?"
Padme' stops her movements and turns to glance at him. Here is her moment to share what has been happening with her. She has a chance to be free of that controlling monster's grasp. But all that flashes across her eyes is her best friend beating the pulp out of her husband, beating him bloody and taking a man's life for her. He'd gladly do it and ruin his career. She knows him too well. Or would he force choke him like he had Palo? He wouldn't stop this time and she knows it. He'd snap Rush's neck and still be arrested and tried for killing a Senator- even with her testimony. Who would believe her? Her bruises have healed from those weeks ago and she'd tried to be on her best behavior since. If she keeps her head down and tries to not piss him off then she might be able to keep her fights to a minimum and then figure out a better plan of leaving him.
She is determined to tell him half the truth as she had everyone else in her family. She lies to him to protect him. He'll understand someday why she has chosen to do so. " It's hard for both of us. I've been trying to come out of my grief and he's thrown himself into his work. We've not spent a lot of time together these last few months."
It is the truth to a certain degree. The time they had spent together had been violent or Rush was drunk and drinking himself into a hole after work. She usually would be in bed before he got home and he slept in the spare guest bedroom. But she knows tonight he'll try to get her into his bed, as they had had to share quarters since this trip had begun. She had chosen to sleep on the sofa in her old bedroom. She hadn't been able to sleep next to the man who had hurt her, let alone sleep with him in her childhood bed where she'd made love to her best friend. The situation in itself was awkward.
He places a hand on her shoulder in reassure. " Is that why you've been avoiding him today? He's been trying to get your attention for most of this evening."
Padme' touches his hand on her shoulder gently. " No, I just know what kind of attention he wants." She doesn't flat out say what sort of attention, but they both understand her meaning.
Padme' shifts uncomfortably with the conversation turning to her sexual habits with her husband. Anakin says no more as he seems just as uncomfortable with the turn of her statement. He keeps the space between them and his thoughts dwell on why she'd want to stay away from her husband. It hurt him thinking of her lying with another man, but she had chosen to marry another for the sake of their child- and now that child didn't exist any longer. Perhaps she is having second thoughts of staying with a man she doesn't love. He tries to keep his rays of hope squashed. She's just been through something traumatic this year, perhaps staying away from his attention was her way of grieving- in fear of becoming with child again perhaps. It didn't matter to him, it isn't his business.
Padme' notices his shift in demeanor and she murmurs, " I don't feel comfortable having sex in my childhood bed."
Anakin turns to her then and cocks his head. Were they comfortable with hearing each other's sex lives? They are friends, but how detailed did their love lives have to be considered in this mess. He runs his hands through his hair and asks gently, " Why? He's your husband."
Padme' cocks her head to the side as well. She bites her lip, trying to keep the mention of their own romantic involvement from the conversation, but the reminder was needed. It shouldn't bother either of them to remember that time in their lives right? It had been a quick and hot summer of lust. That's all- the tears had been the worst part, but she'd gotten past them now.
She swallows and the words leave her mouth. " I don't think it would be appropriate to have sex with my husband in a bed that I had shared with you."
Anakin's eyes widen at the mention of their time together. He swallows thickly, and his Adam's apple moves in time. He states simply, " I see and you're embarrassed about the time we were together…"
Padme' laughter hits her before she can keep her inappropriate reaction to herself. Anakin's pride is a bit hurt by her reaction. He had thought their time together had been amazing. He knows he had more experience than her in that department but did she have to laugh about it being so terrible?
He bites out, " I'm glad to see that you can laugh and mock about your embarrassment."
She covers her mouth and says through her chuckles, " Ani, I'm not laughing about it being a horrible time. I'm laughing at the idea that you thought I'd be embarrassed about that time in our relationship."
He crosses his arms realizing she's laughing because of his stupid reaction. His smile is infectious and he chuckles as well. " Sorry- I thought you were going to tell me it was such an awful time and you didn't want to hurt my feelings back then."
She touches his arm and murmurs, " Never."
His smile fades and their eyes lock in the same staring gaze. Time stops as it usually had when they had been together. Padme' keeps the space between them with her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She can't feel this way about her best friend. She has enough on her plate, but his gaze is safe and like coming home for her. Her eyes glance between his lips and back to his eyes. She licks her lips instinctively. He bites back a moan entering his throat. The air is thick around the two of them.
She's married Anakin- get your thoughts together. You have to protect her- remember the greater good- your friendship is more important than the desire to kiss her.
She finds herself moving closer to him, and his lips. It's like a natural drawing through the force. His breathing comes out in short puffs as she draws nearer to him. Then she kisses his cheek and wraps her arms around him. He sighs in relief and she lays her head on his shoulder.
He wraps his arms around her as well, allowing himself to feel her body this close to his .
" Thank you for your concern. You're truly my best friend." She whispers into his shoulder.
Anakin kisses her forehead and murmurs, " I will always be here for you. So you can talk to me about anything."
Padme' pulls away from their embrace and chuckles, " Everything? I thought our sexual partners were off the table for conversation?"
Anakin shrugs and agrees, " Yes, I'd prefer not to hear about when and where your having sex with your husband."
She smiles and murmurs, " We should be getting back. Dinner should be ready."
He agrees and he finds her hand back into his, clasping it as they had done when they were children. She leans on his shoulder as they walk. The security of having him close by was reassuring and the most she'd felt a man's touch in several weeks that felt safe and at home.
( Padme's Quarters- Later in Evening)
She crawls into the thin sheet laid on her soft plush yellow sofa. The sofa was mainly used for dressing in yesteryears, but she had spent many afternoons reading and napping on this sofa. She sighs and leans into the soft pillow. Her thin nightgown is covered by the thin sheet she had grabbed from her bed. She closes her eyes and her mind flutters to her actions earlier this evening. She hadn't meant to be caught staring off at her best friend like she had. She hadn't meant to draw closer to him and then kiss his cheek and hug him as she had. But it had been a better choice than to kiss him as she had yearned to do.
Why had I wanted to kiss him like I had? I shouldn't want any man after what Rush has done to me. Her mind wanders as her eyes are closed and she listens to the sounds of summer outside the balcony window. She shouldn't want another man, let alone a man that isn't available in any sense of the ways she needs. Maybe because you want to be with him.
She huffs a sigh as her eyes pop open and she watches the ceiling. She isn't going to get any sleep having her mind wander about having her way with her best friend. That hadn't exactly worked out last time and had nearly ruined their friendship in the process. She would never allow any sort of bodily desires get in the way of her friendship with her best friend. She needs him in her life and always would need him.
" It's clear he's not over you," Sola's comments reach her mind. Why had her sister made that clear when she knows she's not single? Sola would never support having an affair during a marriage, even an unhappy marriage.
Padme' eyes the empty bed to her left side. Rush had cut off his drinking and had excused himself to travel by speeder to the local tavern to meet up with some friends he hadn't seen since the last time he'd been on Naboo. Padme' knows that is code for he will be meeting up with several lady friends he hasn't seen since his last trip here. She knows he's finding other means of sexual favors and it's fine with her. If she never has to be forced to lay within his bed anytime soon in the future she'll take it. It also means her family will be aware of his indiscretions but did she really care? No, as long as they are not aware of what he has done to me.
She is sure Bail has been aware of his friend's indiscretions with multiple women over the time of their friendship. However Bail doesn't seem like the type to cheat on his own wife. He is clearly devoted to his wife and newborn son, unlike Rush who had left her to her own grief when she had needed him the most. The person who had tried to be there for her all he could was Anakin. The man had been forced back to the barracks at the Academy by his commanding officer. He hadn't left her bedside.
She groans out and sits up. Clearly she needs something to do to try and make her sleepy. She throws on a pair of tan slacks and shoves her thin nightgown into her pants. She'd wear it as a shirt, but the thinness of the nightgown showed a large part of her upper chest and she hadn't even thought of putting a bra or corset on to hide it. She throws on a pair of boots and goes out to the balcony as she had down many times as a child. She finds herself throwing her boots over the edge of the balcony and onto the vines growing down the side of the balcony. Her feet sink into the thick vines and she can smell the red lilies growing wildly up the balcony. She steps down slowly, one step at a time and grabs the thick vines as she had done as a child.
She feels like a child trying to sneak off to race her speeder at night with her best friend. She had spent so many summer nights sneaking off to work on the speeders and then practicing racing because there was no time during the day without being caught.
Her brown boots hit the rocky drive and she finds her booted feet walking into the direction of the garage. A quiet night ride on a speeder bike sounded like something she needed. She hadn't felt this much adrenaline running through her body as she had now in a long time. It had been a long time since she'd felt a little piece of her old self. And now she was alive for a brief moment.
Her eyes land on the building in her view. She picks up her pace and notices a light on in the garage. She presses the panel to the doorway and quietly enters. Her heart pounds in her chest until she stops frozen in place.
Her eyes dig into the precious bare chested man bending down digging into his tool box. Sweat beads a bit down his forehead and glistens on the abs on his stomach. She drags her eyes up his entire form and back onto his face. Her heart begins pounding harder in her ears as she's caught in a dead stare with the man who caught her googling him.
He blinks as he hadn't sensed her come into the building. She closes her mouth and crosses her arms out of decentness as his eyes are drawn to her thin shirt or nightgown tucked into her pants. He had a swift glimpse of her perked up nipples through the thin fabric and the line between her breasts. He swallows hard and drags his eyes back to hers.
" What are you doing up?" He says casually, trying to hide the brief hint of desire.
She shrugs and murmurs, " I couldn't sleep. I thought a quick ride through the country might clear my mind to be able to sleep."
He turns his gaze back on tuning up the speeder bike. He finishes cranking the engine and gestures towards the bike. " I was about to take a ride, and we've only got one working bike. Do you want to come?"
She bites her lip in uncertainty. Can she trust herself to behave on an innocent ride with her friend? " Sure, " Leaves her lips before she can protest within herself.
He nods and throws one leg over the silver bike. It groans from his weight and then he waves for her to hop on the back. She smiles and throws her own legs over the bike. She rests her feet on the back pedals for an extra rider. He situates himself and commands, " Hold on. I'm planning on racing her to top speeds tonight."
She smiles and her hands grab around his waist. Her warm hands make contact with the sides of his bare waist. He pulls at her hands and clasps them together around his waist to make a better hold so she didn't fall off the bike. He uses the force to open the garage door and as it creaks open, he starts the engine's rev.
Padme' braces herself for the sudden alteration in movement. Her breath catches in her chest as the speeder takes off. She squeezes her eyes tightly shut as the breeze hits her face. She can feel the movement of the bike, as she grinds faster. Padme' tenses as the speeder takes full effect on her body. She knows their going well over the speed limit suggested by the outskirts of the city of Theed.
Anakin senses her tenseness through the force. He sends out a gentle nod to remind her that she's safe with him. He can feel her hands clasping around his waist untense and relax a bit.
It's okay- just breathe.
Her tenseness eases more and her eyes open, watching how fast the scenery changes. She knows this path. This is the path she and Anakin had raced down so many times as children. The path led into the woods and to the dirt roads they had raced down as children. She leans into his back and watches the woods coming closer. She breathes in the scents of the summer woods and the full breeze blowing her long curls back. She smiles as she feels the tightness in her chest easing up. The dull ache of the past few months, dulling with every moment of feeling alive. She had forgotten how good it feels to be on a speeder at fast speeds.
For the time her mind doesn't wander to her marriage, for a time she isn't reminded of not having her child in her arms. She's only reminded of the comfort, and feeling so alive when racing in the night. The woods open up to a grassy field she remembered so many times as a young teenager where she and Anakin had come to watch the stars or practice driving the speeder when she had first started.
The speeder slows to a halt and the engine dies off. Anakin places the break on and he allows her to climb off the bike first. The loss of her touch aches his heart far more than he can have. He lifts his right leg over the seat and is off the bike as well. He watches the field and closes his eyes for a brief moment, connecting to the force. He senses the small animals within the forest, the stillness of the wind and the life of the trees. The stillness with no worries, no people to torture- no rebels- just the simple-ness of the planet with the woman he loves. He stretches his senses and they tingle as he notices as if she's able to connect to him as well. This surprises him as she is not force sensitive, but perchance she has become accustomed to his brush on her mind. They did share a bond after all since they had first met.
Padme watches him, noticing the safety she feels at feeling the brush of his mind on hers. She brushes back softly. She is untrained in the force, but she tries anyway. She can feel his surprise at feeling her brushing his own mind, but it isn't out of curiosity. It is out of familiarity and peacefulness.
Padme' walks towards the familiar tree they had climbed so many times in the nights and days they had escaped out here as children. Her fingers find the tree and then her initials carved into the tree. She traces the three letters of her name. It felt so long ago that they had traced their names into the trees, when in essence that had only been six years prior.
" I wish we could go back to such a simple way of life," She murmurs, retracing the letters over and over in the bark.
Anakin watches her motions and places a hand on her shoulder, listening to her to continue. " I miss the simplices of sneaking out of the house and hoping we didn't get in trouble by Katrina or Father catching us out here. I wish things were so simple now."
Her tone sounded sad but full of life in the same sense. He hadn't heard her voice sound anything close to this since before their daughter had been taken from them. " Me too. I feel like training with the Inquisitors is taking my humanity. I don't want to become consumed by the darkness."
She blinks and turns back on her friend, listening to his confessions. She steps forward and presses her warm hand on his cheek. " Ani, you will never be fully consumed by the darkness like Inquisitor Maul or any other Inquisitor. That's not you."
He nods and replies, " I'm terrified of it happening P, and then I think back to this place- being here with you."
She smiles and whispers, " I had forgotten how it feels to feel free and safe."
He thumbs her cheek out of longing. She closes her eyes feeling his touch warm her body. Rush never made her feel this way- her entire body warm and tingly. He never made her feel safe. She has felt so alone for so long in this fight-except with him.
" You should always feel free to choose," He whispers back concerned, etched on his face.
Her brown eyes draw him in as she whispers back, " Even if what I want is wrong?"
His rough thumbpad rubs against the corner of her lips as he asks, " What is it you want?"
Instead of answering him, she finds herself tiptoeing on the balls of her feet and her lips planting on his. Anakin stiffens at the feel of her lips on his and as her lips move against his, he lets go. He kisses her back softly. A soft mew escapes between her lips as he responds to her need.
She opens her mouth to him and slips her tongue into his mouth.
His hands are in her soft curls as they battle their own desires and needs against the others mouths. Padme' finds her back hitting the bark of their favorite tree as he continues to take control of her lips. She touches his chest as they continue their battle silently.
After what seems like an entirety, Anakin is the first to break their kiss. His head rests against her forehead as he catches his breath. Her own breath mixes with his. Neither can say anything to the other. The guilt fills them both as reality overcomes their simple-ness. She stares down at the ground embarrassed she had given into her desires. He pulls away from her and whispers, " We should be heading back before anyone notices we're gone."
He meant it as a warning for her to be found missing by her husband. She bobs her head sadly and can't meet his eyes. She feels ashamed for wanting him in such a manner, when clearly she is not available, nor him. He turns back to the racing bike and turns her on. Padme' numbly follows in suit and wraps her arms around his waist once again- heading back to her life.
To Be Continued...