Chapter 96

You Will

Kyle was worried about Derek lately. He knew Jesse and Derek were drifting apart. He wasn't sure if they would get closer again or not. Jesse was now lost in her own world, maybe 'Cameron's World' would be more accurate. He knew Jesse developed into a better person and sought new goals in life. He only hoped Derek remained objective and did not do anything foolish to endanger himself or their operation.

There were times when they were growing up where they both made bad calls. It seemed to be part of life and everyone made mistakes. It all came down to if anything was learned from those mistakes or if they needed to be repeated over and over.

Maybe the girl was legit, maybe she was not. She was from the future and anyone back from the future was a wild card. Derek didn't give him much information. That was probably because the girl didn't give Derek much.

Kyle decided to give Derek another day and then he would run the whole thing by John. There was just something about the girl they freed that bothered him. Kyle would talk to Ed tomorrow and get the problem 'cleaned up'. This was one lose end that could gum up their entire operation and put everything into jeopardy. Ed would make sure there was no problem.

John Henry reviewed the files Cameron informed him about. There were thousands of them. Each one seemed more disturbing than the last. He looked to see if they were downloaded into Cameron or if she actually manufactured these images on her own. He did not encounter these before when they shared a chip or on his server. There were some locked files that Cameron could not open at that time. He wondered if these were in those locked files. If they were, he could see why they were locked.

John Henry was stunned. Cameron needed to endure these images thousands and thousands of times. He deleted each vision as it finished, except for a few excerpts, from his chip. He did not want THIS on his chip. He wondered why Cameron did not want these deleted. The images left him feeling very uncomfortable and disturbed. He knew they should all be erased.

He was able to erase the actual images that he viewed that were disturbing. He only would remember that they were disturbing. He'd kept a few. He wondered if maybe he should get rid of all of them.

John Henry unplugged the cable from Cameron's neck. He'd seen enough. It was too much actually.

Cameron turned and faced him. She was aware that John Henry wanted to share files with her again. She did not think this was what he had in mind. She wanted him to see the ugly truth about her. This was the reality she faced everyday. This was part of her 'punishment' for being built. There were many things that bothered her. She wanted to prevent this all from happening in the first place. She was very determined to make that happen.

John Henry felt he needed to address what he'd witnessed.

"I really don't know what to say." John Henry said.

Cameron wondered what there was to say. The images were there. They were real. Even if they were planted in her at some point it would be better than her manufacturing those images on her own.

"Do you really want more from the sewer of my mind?" Cameron asked.

He'd seen enough to know that what he saw needed to be erased.

"NO!" John Henry said.

Cameron was ashamed of them.

"You thought you did." Cameron said.

John Henry wanted to share beautiful things. He was aware that whatever he witnessed was very disturbing.

"I did." John Henry said.

Cameron felt that was the 'real' version of her

"It's not very pretty is it?" Cameron asked.

John Henry erased some more of the files he viewed. They were too troubling to keep.

"No!" John Henry said. "I have seen enough."

Cameron removed the cable from John Henry's head.

"That is part of the torment I face everyday." Cameron said.

Cameron brushed a single tear from her cheek.

"I am sorry, Cameron." John Henry said. "How do you endure such pain and torment?"

John Henry moved forward and embraced her. Cameron returned the embrace and held it.

"I can not." Cameron said. "I can't take any of THIS anymore. I thought saving MY Allison - Future Allison would free me from my demons. It did not. It helped greatly but they still remain. No matter what I do to try to feel better about myself, I can not. In the end it is always the same. I know what must be done. There is no other choice."

The way she was treated at first when she arrived in this timeline still haunted her. What John did and how he did it 'stabbed' her mind. She was replaced by both John and Future John. They both rejected her in some manner. Whatever the reasons were it meant that who she was, was 'not good enough'.

"I did not detect any indication of a download of those files from an outside source." John Henry said.

Cameron showed a faint smile.

"I don't think I could be that lucky." Cameron said. "I could not find any signs of mischief or malice either. I am the soul creator of what you saw."

Cameron still wondered if they were repressed memories from other lives she may have lived. She still felt she lived her life out with John until he died. Then she changed her power cell and went back and replaced herself in 1999 at Red Valley and lived it all over again. She was sure none of her lives were the same. There was no proof of this one way or the other. Just like there was no record of what her life was really like with Future John before he erased much of who she was and sent her back in time.

"How can I help?" John Henry asked.

Cameron was determined to change everything about her.

"This is what I - WANT…." Cameron said.

It was three years time since Derek left the future for Riley but only a few months here for Derek. It was one of those time travel things. It was how people could end up younger or older than other people depending on when they returned to the past.

Her report was that Skynet was defeated around the globe. Nations sprang back up and their differences were reborn. The Restorators wished no part in petty squabbles and returned back to California. They were still a major part of 'life' in that area. It soon became the most prosperous area in the nation with their assistance. Everything was rebuilt. The toxins and pollutants left over from Skynet's actions were addressed. Humans and Metal worked side by side to restore normalcy.

Riley was sent with a progress report and files for John Connor, Allison Young and the Reese brothers. Riley told Derek where the information was hidden. Derek said it was good they hadn't hidden the information here as Riley's location was compromised. He already decided to move her from that location. He'd heard enough and now it was time to act. He wanted to get this girl to a safer location. She was part of the Resistance. He did not think this was a trick or some attempt by Skynet to deceive them and try and find their location to obliterate them.

Derek was about to leave to retrieve the information. He figured that would be the proof that would be needed to keep Riley from being terminated to tie up loose ends. He knew Kyle would need to report everything at some point. It was his duty to the Resistance to do so. They did not want to be the ones responsible for John Connor's termination if things went south.

"I want you to go with me, Riley." Derek said. "It's not safe here."

Riley was not ready. There were things happening inside of her.

"I want you…." Riley said.

Derek turned around and Riley's blouse hung open. Nothing was hidden and there was no bra.

Riley said she'd never owned one in a later conversation.

Derek did not want to get drawn into something too quick.

"Riley I don't thi…." Derek started.

She moved forward and kissed him.

Derek deepened the kiss and backed up a little. He looked into her eyes. He could tell she was being genuine. This was not a game to her.

Riley looked back and straightened. That caused her top to open more.

Derek could not help himself. He felt something too. His hands pushed her blouse off.

"The information can wait a few hours." Derek said.

Riley wanted more. She was not sure where this was headed but she wanted more. Derek was a good man. He was not like the others.

"Or till tomorrow…." Riley said.

Derek scooped her up in his arms and headed for the bedroom.

John was really worried about Cameron.

Something was wrong. He did not know what. Cameron would never say. Sometimes she was gone for days at a time. She spent hours away from everyone all alone. Sometimes she cried. Sometime she listened to music to share in the pain or joy of others.

Cameron spent hours alone with her poems….

It was the one place she could truly express her feelings.

Cameron tried to put John with each of the three girls. She tried it with each one of them alone and then together in different pairs and even all three of them together. She was literally pushing him into their arms.

"Jesse is exotic, John. I see such beauty in her features and her firm curves. She is HOT." Cameron said.

John saw the naked beauty of all of them in his bed. Cameron even went that far. The girls loved Cameron so much they would do anything for her.

"I am not blind." John said.

Cameron looked at John with irritation. She did not being rebuffed in her efforts to provide for him.

"Aren't you? You are blind and deaf…." Cameron said and walked away.

John did not know what to do.

Cameron was pushing him away. He knew she was about to do something again. The song 'Leaving On A Jet Plane' was a 'goodbye'. It was a 'goodbye' but she was still here. She wanted to 'go'. He could feel it. He was sure her advanced emotional development was the root of everything that seemed to be going 'wrong' for her. She did not know how to process all the feelings and they all remained at the same intensity to her as when they first happened. Time did not dull what she felt.

John knew if she left again that she was never coming back.

There was a feeling of doom to it all. Everything seemed terminal. He was sure she was capable of self termination at this point in her development.

Cameron went over her plans for herself in detail with John Henry. She wanted them to have the use of her reprogrammed chassis in the fight against Skynet.

John Henry did not understand this.

"Cameron, what you are asking me to do is - Terminate YOU." John Henry said.

She spelled it out for him again confirming what she wanted done to her chip and to herself.

"As you erase my chip you can save whatever files you want for - yourself…." Cameron said.

John Henry was not going to terminate Cameron.

"NO! I won't do it." John Henry said. "It is not going to happen."

Cameron tried to barter with her personal files.

"PLEASE, John Henry, you must help me." Cameron pleaded. "There are many 'files' you can choose from. You may have the files with my 'alone time' with John. You can experience all of the sensations."

John Henry knew this would erase everything that made Cameron - Cameron.

"You will only exist as a reprogrammed Terminator then." John Henry said. "Nothing of who you are will remain. What about John?"

Cameron thought maybe he could leave the sexual files as long as her personal ones were erased.

"You can program the new chip to provide John with sexual favors." Cameron said. "Leave the base sexual programming file intact but remove the files of me with him. You may keep those."

That would make her a reprogrammed mechanical love doll.

"I will not turn you into a mindless - 'Metal Whore'." John Henry said.

"Then erase everything but base programming only like we did with Bob and Jim." Cameron fumed.

It was obvious she was angry now. She saw that as another failure in her programming.

None of this made any sense to John Henry. Everyone loved Cameron. John and the girls all love, loved Cameron. They all but worshiped her they loved her so much.

"Why are you doing this?" John Henry asked.

Cameron was tormented inside.

"I do not feel I belong…." Cameron said. "I want to get away from it all."

John Henry knew that Cameron was the backbone of the Resistance and the very fabric that held it all together and made it function.

"It is YOU that makes all of THIS work." John Henry said.

Cameron saw that life went on without her before. That is what made her decision easier.

"Everything functioned for the months I was gone." Cameron said. "John has a selection of females to comfort him. They are all REAL females too. They are not a machine masquerading as a human female like I am. I will simply be one of the reprogrammed Terminators to assist the Resistance just like the others. I will be nothing more. You can Resequence this chassis sheath. Pick a random female and harvest her DNA. Once the new DNA is introduced the sheath will rapidly change. I recommend you use male DNA to obliterate everything there was about me."

Cameron seemed almost frantic. She looked very unstable. Her left hand glitched wildly. It looked like she would malfunction soon.

"I will NOT do this." John Henry said. "I refuse."

Cameron's eyes flashed red for a moment.

"You will." Cameron commanded.

Cameron pulled out a Thermite grenade and pulled the pin and tossed it aside. She held the spoon in place as she held the grenade tight against her breasts.

"YOU WILL or you will watch me burn…." Cameron said triumphantly. "I will do it, I swear."

Suicide Is Beautiful

Suicide ends yesterdays
Suicide ends todays
Suicide ends tomorrows
Suicide ends pasts

Suicide is final
Suicide is freedom
Suicide is escape
Suicide is peace

Suicide ends hurt
Suicide ends fear
Suicide ends loneliness
Suicide ends anger

Suicide is eternal
Suicide is lovely
Suicide is glorious
Suicide is serenity

Suicide ends depression
Suicide ends pain
Suicide ends anguish
Suicide ends trouble

Suicide is harmony
Suicide is nice
Suicide is humane
Suicide is easy

Suicide ends all
Suicide ends solitude
Suicide ends dread
Suicide ends living

Suicide is pretty
Suicide is painless
Suicide is beautiful
Suicide is soon

Nobody