Chapter 106

Searching

Riley was happy to have linked up with Resistance in the past. It was now the present for her. She'd become quite attached to Derek. She also found John to be very intriguing. There was just something about him…. She felt drawn to him. Derek filled her in on some of the events that were going on. Some of them seemed extreme to her. She went in search of Derek and ended up in the lab.

The lab interested her so she looked around at some of the things. It was clear that Terminators were repaired in there at times. She was a little surprised to find several shelves stocked with spare Terminator parts. Some of them still had the sheath covering on them. To see a Metal skull was one thing. To see one with the sheath covering still on it was another. It looked like a human head staring at her.

She found a stack of poems on the desk. She did not know who created them when she first started to look at them and then read some. She thought they were Vanna's poems. Derek told her that Vanna was really an 'older Savannah' from their future.

As Riley looked through the poems she felt that Vanna was deeply troubled and must hurt very much inside. Some of the poems stabbed at her heart. She could feel the hurt and pain. She wondered why Vanna signed them all as 'Nobody'. She thought someone must have really hurt Vanna to make her feel that way. She thought Vanna was justified for hating someone who made her feel that way. There was no way she could know it was actually Cameron talking about a different version of 'her'.

Sarah walked into the lab. She saw what Riley was reading. It upset her that Riley was looking at them. She was the one responsible for most of them. Well, another future version of her was.

"Who said you could look at those?" Sarah asked.

Riley looked at Sarah and could see she was offended by her innocent act of curiosity. She quickly set them down back where they were.

"I found them here." Riley said. "I only looked at a few. I did not mean to cause a problem. I'm sorry if I did something that I wasn't supposed to."

Sarah looked at her. She did not 'hate' Riley but she knew how the other Riley hurt Cameron. She knew that John cared for and loved his Riley. She also knew John always put Riley before Cameron.

Sarah was pretty sure about what else John and Riley 'did'. Sarah knew she was a teenager once also, things happen…. She'd been in more than one bed in high school. She wanted to 'try out' her lady parts. She soon found out the ladies knew how to make them all feel better. Her female friends and her liked how they made each other feel and none of them needed to worry about getting pregnant.

It pained Sarah the most to reflect on how John did what he did. The way he acted right in front of Cameron's face was wrong. That was very cruel. No wonder Cameron was still troubled by it all. It still troubled her as well. Now it troubled her even more that Riley, 'a Riley' was back in the mix and Cameron was 'gone'. She doubted John was strong enough to resist Riley especially if she came on to him strong. He'd tasted the forbidden fruit before. The second bite would be easier.

It was time for her to make a statement.

"Those were created by my son's wife, Cameron." Sarah said. "They belong to her."

That caught Riley by surprise. She really thought a human female wrote them.

"Do you mean Metal wrote this?" Riley asked. "These were written by a machine?"

The terminology instantly offended Sarah. It added to her already budding agitation with Riley. She wanted to make her position clear to Riley.

"You will refer to her as Cameron, John's wife, her, she, as a girl or woman. I won't tell you a second time." Sarah said. "I will put anyone down on the ground who badmouths Cameron. This is your only warning. Just so you know, I have done it before. I will not hesitate to do it again."

Sarah thought back on when she slammed her rifle stock into Jesse's head. Jesse was physically harassing Allison, while she badmouthed Cameron. She received a free trip to dreamland for her transgressions.

Riley wanted to defend herself some.

"I did not mean it to be derogatory, Sarah." Riley said. "I'm sorry. Things were different where I came from. I need time to acclimate to all this. It is all new to me. It is different from everything I know or remember. Being here is like a new world and old habits are hard to break."

Sarah remembered Jesse needed time to adjust to. Now Jesse was in love with Cameron. She did understand that things took awhile to get acclimated to.

"Cameron is John's everything. She is his world." Sarah said. "John loves her. We all love her. I love her."

Riley was very surprised to hear that string of revelations.

"I did not know Met... I mean she, could have these feelings like us." Riley said. "I can literally feel her pain."

Sarah understood Cameron's pain and where it came from.

"She is more 'human' than we are, Riley." Sarah said. "I only wish I could express my feelings the same way she can."

Riley wasn't sure how that was possible but she was not about to argue the point with Sarah. In fact she was not about to argue anything with Sarah. Sarah looked lean and mean. She knew a Terminator could snap her neck. It looked like Sarah could too.

Derek was able to fill her in a little on the small amount of information he received from Sarah previously. It actually bothered her greatly once she knew who the players were.

"I understand there was another 'Riley' and someone named Jesse before." Riley said.

Sarah did not want to relive those dark times and how they got there in the first place.

"It would be best if you let those 'sleeping dogs' rest. That is not something you want to dredge up." Sarah said. "That was a lot of trouble and hurt for everyone. Don't push it."

This is what Riley feared would happen. She would be blamed for what some other 'future version' of her did. She remembered how the females on the TDE pad looked at her. She saw 'death' stare her down.

"That was not 'me'." Riley said. "Those four women all looked like they wanted to kill me before they left. I saw death looking at me before they vanished. I don't want to be blamed for something I did not do."

Riley was worried they would all see her as the one who hurt Cameron, even though it wasn't actually HER.

Sarah felt it was going to be a hard sell for Riley not to take some of the rap anyway.

"Those four women will do anything for each other. The bond between them is strong. They all know that someone hurt Cameron before. They will protect Cameron as will I." Sarah said.

Sarah stood in front of Riley. She looked intimidating.

Riley felt threatened. It was like everyone 'hated her'. Only Derek and John did not seem to hate her. Even the Terminators treated her coldly. She felt they all wanted to snap her neck when she passed them.

"I will not cause any trouble, Sarah." Riley said." John is a nice guy but I'm involved with Derek, for now."

Sarah was pretty sure she did not like that last part of Riley's statement.

"Keep it that way and your life will be a lot simpler." Sarah said.

'And maybe your life will be a little bit longer.' Sarah thought.

Sarah left. If she stayed any longer her anger would boil over. She knew this was a 'different' Riley. She also knew 'all roads lead to Rome' and Riley and John were on a collision course.

The one thing that was clear was that the longer Cameron was gone, the more John would look elsewhere. There were not a whole lot of choices available to him. She would never have considered it even a remote possibility before but they may all have to look the other way if Savannah decided to 'step up' a few years early. That would be better than having Cameron return and find John with Riley - again. After all, Cameron did give Savannah her wedding dress. They all knew what that meant. It was Cameron's contingency plan for her demise. It was her 'fail safe'.

None of it would really matter in the long run if Cameron never returned.

John and John Henry tried everything to find out where the girls went. There was simply no way to know. They did not know where or when they were.

'Would Cameron really prevent Future Allison from being captured so she was never constructed? Was her life that painful and her hurt so deep? Is it all my fault?' John wondered.

How could he ever find out any of the answers?

There was no 'Cameron' in the future he went to with Mrs. Weaver. That Allison was never captured. What would happen on his second day at school in the past if there was no Cameron? Would he be killed that day? Was the timeline they were in now an aberration? Maybe Skynet would capture Future Savannah instead or someone else. It could even be Future Riley or Future Jesse. Who knows? Is any of this fixable?

Why couldn't he have believed Cameron when she told him that they loved each other. Why couldn't he believe that Cameron loved him even if he could not admit his love for her then? She TOLD him but he terminated her anyway. That was bad enough and then a few days later he replaced her with Riley.

John knew he loved Cameron from the moment he saw her on his first day in school, even when it was apparent she was Metal after saving him. That actually made him love her a little more. Why did he turn to Riley? WHY? Why didn't he have the courage to give Cameron his love?

John put Cameron's poem book back. He read it over and over. It made him feel alive still to feel her hurt and pain. The pain he caused her. He deserved the pain he inflicted on her. He knew with each 'mental cut' that made him bleed that he was still alive. Cameron's pain kept him 'going'. It kept him alive.

There was a knock at his door.

He ignored it.

The knock came again.

"Can I come in?" Riley asked.

John glanced at Cameron's Glock and then at her poem book.

"NO!" John picked up the poem book again and started reading….

Savannah watched Riley go to John's room. She'd tracked her there. It made her feel uncomfortable. She smiled when John sent her away. She knew Riley was not John's destiny, she was.

"I promise, Cammy." Savannah said.

She didn't intend to let Riley 'cut' in front of her. Cameron's wedding dress hung in her closet.

"I promise, Cammy." Savannah said again.

John Henry continually searched everything. He needed to find out what happened. He knew the girls were somewhere but where and when? Why did the time bubble come and go a few times? It should have stayed. He'd changed the date several times during that process. What did John do when he fooled with the controls? The girls could be anywhere or any when. Where was Mrs. Weaver? What happened to her? Why hadn't she come back? There were so many questions and no answers.

The search continued, endlessly. John Henry hoped he would find them. It did not look good.

The other Terminators at the base were as worried and disturbed by events as was everyone else. Bob and Jim were very worried. Unit Two and Unit Three were ready on short notice to go on a rescue mission after Cameron and the girls. They only needed a time and location.

They'd spent all those months together with Cameron and Future Allison in Cameron's future. They cared as much as it was possible for them to care as Terminators. They may have even pickup a little of Cameron's infiltration programming.

They did not care for the interloper in their midst. None of the Terminators did.

Searching

Much of one's life is spent in an endless quest
They lose track for what it is they are searching
There are many obstacles along the way
They face a lot of ridicule and besmirching

There is always something more
That they feel they must obtain
It seems when that eventually happens
They soon find less pleasure and more pain

Is that the true nature of things
Or is it a flaw in one's own mind
They hoped they would be able see better
Instead somehow they are left blind

At what point does 'good enough'
Devolve to become 'not good enough'
Time does not make things smoother
It makes the path forward tough and rough

They think that they know the other but they don't
The truth is they don't know who they really are
As long as one lies and deceives themselves
They can not go far as their own mind they scar

Nobody