For those who are lost
I hope you find your way
For those who are ready to quit
I hope you stay
Chapter 8: Live for the Good Times
Bruised from head to toe, and muscles burning and aching with every move. Sephiroth stood in front of me, arms across his chest, and his stare the same icy cold as always. He was the perfect example of composure. Not a hair out of place despite the hours we've spent training today. Sweat dripped from my nose and chin onto the plastic mat we stood on. I struggled to keep my balance on wobbly legs. All I wanted to do was fall over, but I was determined not to break. Gathering what strength I had left, I charged.
The goal was to land at least one solid blow. Anywhere. I could catch his arm and it would be enough, but the bastard was too damn fast. Before I could even raise my fist, Sephiroth practically teleported to my side. The back of his hand collided with my face, and the impact sent me soaring through the training room. My rag doll body smacked against the padded wall with a sound that I swore was my bones breaking, and I landed in a heap on the ground. My limbs protested any and all movements as I attempted to get back on my feet.
"That's enough for today." Sephiroth said cooly.
"No. I can…" I fell back to the floor before I could even finish my sentence.
"Don't push yourself too hard. If this were a real fight, you would have been dead ages ago." He lectured and pulled a potion from his jacket. "You've gotten sloppy in the last few weeks."
He held the bottle out to me, that same cold expression never changing. I took the bottle and choked down the chalky liquid. Relief flooded through my muscles as the potion worked it's magic.
"How have you been sleeping?" He asked out of the blue.
My mind brought back the sharp white teeth, the laughing growl as the Nightmare chased me through the dark, those last moments of terror I feel before it swallows me whole.
"Just fine." I lied.
"Did you know that when you lie, you drum your fingers on the nearest object?" He gestured to my fingers idly drumming along the potion bottle.
I stopped the motion, holding the bottle firmly, and looked away from him. My cheeks burned with embarrassment at being caught in a lie. How long have I been doing that for?
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really." I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling a cool chill down my spine.
"Try meditating. It usually helps to clear the mind."
With that, he left the training room. The simulation ended and the padded walls and floor returned to their regular cold metal. I took off the headset, carelessly throwing it across the simulation chamber. With the money Shinra makes, I'm sure they can afford to replace a headset worth thousands of Gil. I groaned and hid my face in my hands.
Sloppy. He said I've gotten sloppy. Not to say my mentor was wrong, but it still wasn't a great thing to hear after I've worked so hard to get to where I'm at. It made me feel like I was failing. Failing my family, failing my friends, failing myself. I shook my head to stop the downward spiral of self pity. Now was not the time to feel sorry for myself. From today on I vow to work harder and do better. This is just a minor setback and I can, and will, overcome it.
Overcoming my setback would prove to be a slight bit more difficult than I anticipated. Walking down the steps to the cafe was agonizing in every form. I received some odd looks from employees and citizens touring the building as I all but crab walked down the staircase, counting to myself, and giving my sore thighs words of encouragement to keep going. All I needed was a Hi-Potion from the shop. I know they have them. I see other 2nds with them all the time. Only the 1sts get the really good stuff like Elixirs and Megalixiers. I've heard rumors that those concoctions make you feel like you never need to eat or sleep again. Someday I'll be that special, for now I'd have to settle with the honey taste of Hi-Potions. Just a few more steps and-
"Senna!"
Red curls bobbed their way towards me from across the cafe. Myrna jumped excitedly in front of me, laughing and smiling like she had just gotten the best news of her life.
"Senna Senna Senna Senna!"
Pretending like I had energy to spare for her hyperness, I clapped my hands and smiled back at her.
"Myrna Myrna Myrna Myrna!" I yelled.
She took my hands, pulling me into circles as she jumped for joy.
"The best thing just happened, you have no idea!"
"Well I would if you would settle your crazy self and tell me already!"
She took a breath, moving stray hairs back into place. The smile never left her face. Whatever it was she had to tell me, I could tell it would be the best thing I've heard in the last few weeks. Clasping her hands in front of her lips, she lightly jumped in place.
"You are looking at one of the newest SOLIDER 2nd class recruits!" She said surprisingly calm, but quickly turned into a mess of laughter, "I got promoted today!"
"Ahhhh! Myrna, that's amazing!" I screamed, grabbing her hands and jumping in a circle like a couple of school girls.
Surrounding parties gave us disapproving looks at our lack of professionalism. Some of them left their tables to go have their lunch elsewhere. We didn't care. Our immature outburst was well deserved and completely valid. Myrna has waited so long to get promoted, of course I was going to be just as happy as she was. It took a long while for us to settle down from our happy screams and laughter. My body reminded me of the torture it went through today, and I had to quickly sit down in a nearby chair.
"I have more news." Myrna said, sitting down next to me.
"There's more?" I said breathlessly.
"A 1st Class volunteered to mentor me. Starting next week I begin my training with the one, the only, Genesis Rhapsodos!"
"Genesis?" I sat back in my chair, dumbfounded, "Like.. LOVELESS obsessed Genesis? He volunteered to mentor you?"
"Don't sound so disappointed." She crossed her arms across her chest, "I remember being a lot more excited for you when you told me that Sephiroth was going to be your mentor."
"Shut up, I'm excited for you. I just didn't expect Genesis to be the mentoring type. He always seemed like such a loner."
Although I have never really seen much of him. He shows his face every so often in Shinra, always carrying that book of his and reading it aloud. I swear he has the entire story memorized and could recite it by heart if he really wanted to. Personally I never quite saw the appeal in LOVELESS. How would he train Myrna if his face was always in that book? Would he recite lines to her while they spar? By the end of their training would Myrna be reciting LOVELESS to me everytime I see her? Myrna only shrugged her shoulders in response.
"Well in any case," I started, if only to end the oncoming silence, "I'm super happy for you. Now we can start doing the same training programs together, just like when we were both 3rd Class."
She smiled at me, "The competition can start all over again. You may have won the race to 2nd Class, but I'll win the race to 1st Class!"
"Bring it on, red!"
I owe my becoming a 2nd Class SOLDIER to a lot of people, but if I hadn't met Myrna at the beginning, I don't think I would have ever made it into SOLDIER at all. She challenges me to do better, and encourages me when I need it. If there's anyone in SOLDIER that has my back more than Zack, it's Myrna. If she hadn't followed her dream to be in SOLDIER, my hopes of making it past 3rd class would have been a pipe dream at best.
"Friendly competition aside," Myrna said as she drummed her fingers on the wooden table top, "I'm celebrating my new found promotion tonight and you're coming with me!"
"Wha-"
"No no. No excuses from the peanut gallery! I don't care if you even have training tomorrow-"
"I always have training…" I mumbled.
"You're coming with me tonight and we're gonna get wasted! Bring whoever you want. The more the merrier!"
Zack had early training tomorrow morning with Angeal and an assignment after that, so naturally he bailed on the party plans. Buzz kill. I managed to get a confirmation out of Cloud, and possibly a yes out of Noctis if he could slip his house arrest guards for a few hours. Poor guy is probably going stir crazy in his apartment and is in dire need of a good drink or two. While I recruited those two, Myrna tore apart my closet. Clothes scattered everywhere over my bedroom floor, no hint of organization whatsoever. Just a giant mess while she looked for the perfect outfit for me to wear tonight.
"I am perfectly capable of picking out my own clothes ya know." I said blankly from my bed while I mindlessly went through my messages. Nothing important, mostly just a lot of junk mail.
"Oh please. I've seen the outfits you put together and none of them are suitable for my promotion party. No ma'am, we need you looking hot tonight. You're gonna turn heads the second you walk through that door."
I subtly rolled my eyes and tossed my phone on the bed. Why I couldn't just dress comfortably is beyond me. The second we walked in the door, Myrna was on a warpath to my bedroom, and here we sat for close to half an hour already. Being high maintenance seems like it's exhausting.
"I'm not wearing makeup." I stated firmly.
Without so much as looking back at me, she tossed more of my clothes from the closet and said, "Oh you're wearing makeup. And jewelry, and I'm also doing your hair. We're going all out tonight country girl!"
"Senna's gonna wear makeup? Now this I have to see." Zack said from the doorway.
"Senna is definitely not wearing makeup." I used a serious tone, hoping they'd get the picture of exactly how unwilling I was.
"Senna is definitely wearing makeup." Myrna sang.
"The only way you'll get me to cake my face in products that will give me acne for the next few weeks is if you tie me down and gag me."
A challenging spark crossed Zack and Myrna's eyes. They shared a glance, then focused on me. I blinked back and forth between them, my expression tight. They were seriously considering it!
"Guys..?" I said hesitantly.
"Zack?" Myrna asked sweetly, "Assistance if you'd please?"
Zack unfolded his arms from his chest and stood straight. He smiled wickedly at me.
"With pleasure." He said.
They both slowly stalked towards me, eyes dark, and those wicked smiles on their faces. I stood on my bed, keeping back against the wall like a cornered animal. They cackled deviously. One exit from my room. The window is too small to climb through. My enemies stood between me and my one way out. Now how do I get around them? Got to think fast, they're closing in for the kill, and I wasn't about to go down like a bitch. The ceiling is too low for me to make a proper jump over them. Carefully, I crouched and reached slowly for my pillow. I just needed to distract one of them. Choosing my target carefully, I threw the pillow at Zack's face. The second it took for him to catch it, I made my break. I pushed off the wall and slammed my elbow into Zack's ribs, knocking him over, and giving me just enough space to get past Myrna and through the door.
"You can't go far, Senna!" She yelled after me, "The apartment is too small!"
"I don't need to get far! Just far enough away from you!" I replied as I slammed the door to the bathroom behind me and locked it. I didn't enjoy hiding, but she was right. There was nowhere else for me to run to. I just needed to hold out here until Zack has to get some sleep and Myrna gets sick and tired of waiting for me and goes to the club herself. They didn't have the patience to last all night, but I did. The doorknob rattled as they tried to get in.
"Senna. Please let me in. I'm not gonna hurt you." Myrna said sweetly from the other side, "I won't even use that much product."
"Keep your face cake to yourself and let me be my natural self!"
"Come on, Senna. It's fun to try new things." Zack laughed.
"Oh go put more product in your hair." I said dryly.
"I would, but it's in the bathroom with you."
"Well isn't that unfortunate."
I heard chuckles on the other side of the door, followed by the almost silent whispers. Now what were they planning?
Some minutes went by. I wasn't sure how many since Zack and I never kept a clock in here, and there was no window to use the daylight as a reference. It was eerily quiet in the hallway. Zack and Myrna's whispers died down some time ago. I pressed my ear to the door, hoping to hear something that would indicate what they were up to. Silence. Sweet, terrifying silence. I moved to unlock the door, when the sound of footsteps caught my attention. Pressing my ear back to the door, I listened. One set of footprints. Too soft to be Zack, so they had to belong to Myrna. She walked down the hall to the front door.
"Alright, Sen!" She yelled, "You win. I'll meet you at the club, buzzkill!"
The door opened, and closed. Everything was back to utter silence. Where was Zack? He was abnormally quiet. I waited a few more moments before I opened the door, just to be safe. I opened the door just enough to peek my head out to look up and down the hall. The coast was clear, but I still didn't trust it. I left the bathroom quiet as a church mouse, first checking the living room for any signs of Myrna lurking about. Her shoes were gone, as well as her bag. Items that are easily hidden if need be. Next I made my way to Zack's room. The only reason he would be so quiet is if he was asleep. Creeping his door open, I saw a lump with black hair under the blankets. Light snores came from the lump. Was he really asleep? I couldn't be sure. I tiptoed my way to his bed, doing my best to avoid the creeks in the floor. He didn't stir at all. When I got to the edge of the bed, I strained my neck to see past his shoulder. In an instant, Zack threw his blanket over my head, and tackled me to the ground. I thrashed, kicked, and struggled against him as much as I could, but he was too heavy.
"Myrna! Now!" He yelled
The blanket was yanked from my face just in time for a blinding white light to knock out all my senses. An exhaustion washed over me like none I've ever felt, and I fell into a deep sleep.
"Ugh.." I groaned when I came to, "What the hell was that?"
"Oh good, you're up. I guess Basuna really does work." Myrna chuckled.
I shook my head, loose strands of hair falling over my face and shoulders. My hands were bound behind my back, and my legs were tied to the legs of one of the wooden chairs in the kitchen. Those bastards. They tricked me, and I was dumb enough to walk right into their trap. Once my eyes focused, Myrna and Zack stood in front of me, smiling at their accomplishment.
"Where the hell did you get binding materia?" I asked groggily.
Myrna idly tossed the green ball in her hand.
"A gift from Genesis. Did I forget to tell you about that?" She laughed.
I glared at her, my eyelids still heavy from the sleep spell.
"That's cheating to the highest degree." I said.
"I don't remember setting rules." Zack said and crossed his arms across his chest. He looked to Myrna, "Do you remember setting rules for capture the Senna?"
Myrna tapped her chin with her finger, looking off into the distance like she was really thinking back on it.
"No… no I don't think we did." She replied.
I struggled against my restraints. What kind of rope did they use?! It wouldn't budge an inch.
"Don't think that just because you managed to tie me to a chair that I won't struggle against you putting makeup on me." I warned.
"Oh dear, dear Senna. I know you too well that I knew you'd struggle up to the very end. That's why I waited to wake you up. The deed is already done, and it was quick and painless." Myrna smiled and held up a mirror.
Indeed my face was painted with makeup. White and purple eyeshadow covered my eyelids, making my mako infused eyes pop out more than they already did. My skin tone looked just the same, aside from my cheeks having a slight pink to them, as well as my lips, glossed with a pink lip gloss that tasted oddly like cherries. I'll admit… She didn't do a bad job, but I wouldn't say it out loud.
"That's a good look for ya, Sen. I think you should do it more often." Zack joked with a hint of seriousness. He knew damn well that I didn't have the willpower to do this every day.
Aside from painting my face, Myrna also took the initiative to curl my hair while I was out. I looked just like my mother. It was a little unsettling to be honest, but I didn't look that bad.
"Ok, you had your fun. Can you untie me now?" I asked kindly.
"Oh I suppose. Since you've been such a good sport about all of this." Myrna untied my bounds. I rubbed my wrists where the rope had left indent marks.
"Revenge is coming. Watch your backs." I threatened.
Well, Myrna wanted to make an entrance at the club, and she succeeded. While I was out, she also took the liberty of finally approving an outfit for me to wear. A light purple tank top, covered with black fishnet, a white mini skirt, and black knee high boots. Not one of my proudest purchases, but I had the money and it was an impulse buy. Every table we passed stared us up and down. I became self conscious about the amount of leg I was showing and kept trying to pull my skirt down lower to cover more of my thighs. Myrna slapped my hands.
"Would you stop fidgeting?" She scolded, "You look good and that's what they're noticing. Show off those SOLDIER muscles, country girl!"
Country girl. Myrna's typical nickname for me. She grew up in the city, so she didn't know a thing about living in the sticks, just like I didn't know how to live the city life to its fullest. She had made it one of her life goals to convert me to a city girl, but deep down, she knows that I'll always be the country girl that I had always been.
"Speaking of good looking, check out the hotties over there."
She gestured to a table off to our left. Immediately I picked out Cloud's blonde spikes and Noc's obnoxious laugh.
"Those are my friends!" I said excitedly.
"Your security department friends?" Myrna said in disbelief as she kept focus on the two. "Wow, if the infantry is hiding a couple of 10s like them, I wonder who else is hiding under those ugly as sin helmets."
I nudged her arm with my elbow, "Be nice, would ya?"
With a smile, she brushed her red curls over her shoulder.
"I'm always nice. Now introduce me to your friends!"
I smiled and rolled my eyes as she sauntered over to Cloud and Noctis, and followed behind her.
"Hey guys." I greeted, "This is Myrna, it's her promotion party so don't get too intimidated if she goes crazy. Myrna, that's Noctis, and this is Cloud."
Myrna held out her hand like she was royalty. Noctis wasted no time grabbing her fingers and lightly kissing the back of her hand.
"Pleasure to meet you." He said with a wiggle to his eyebrows.
"I see house arrest hasn't changed you much." I joked.
Noctis faked and insulted gasp and put a hand to his chest.
"Is that the thanks I get for defending your honor?" He cried dramatically, "I'll remember this the next time Alexander needs a proper punch in the face."
"I guess I never did thank you for that huh?"
"No you didn't."
"Ok, as much as I love the idle chatter, let's not forget what we're all here for tonight. I'm gonna get a round of drinks!"
Myrna drummed her hands on the edge of the table and took off to the bar. By no means was she old enough to actually get drinks, but she sweet talked a really shady guy in an alleyway to make her a fake ID. It's been about a year since she got it and she hasn't been caught yet, that I know of.
"You look nice, Senna." Cloud said quietly. I almost couldn't hear him over the thumping bass of the music.
"Yeah, looking like a girl actually suits you. And that outfit ain't bad either." Noctis teased with a wink.
I glared at him and started trying to stretch the fabric of my skirt again.
"Thank you, Cloud. I'm glad one guy here is a gentleman." I smiled sweetly at him, his cheeks tinted the slightest bit of pink in return. "I see you both opted for the simple look tonight. I'm shocked you didn't wear your uniforms."
In all honesty, I was jealous of their simple look. It seemed so comfortable. They both dressed in all black. Cloud was wearing a black t-shirt, denim vest, and cargo pants, while Noctis wore a cut off shirt and jeans. What I would give right now to rip off this skirt and put my cargo shorts back on. Why did I buy this thing again? It wasn't even worthy of being called a skirt. More like a white censor bar with a zipper. A group of guys walking by gave me a passing glance, looking longer at my legs than I was comfortable with. I crossed my legs and leaned closer to Cloud. I hated being stared at like I was a piece of meat.
"Drinks, bitches!"
Myrna returned with a giant fish bowl full of blue liquor and citrus slices. Four straws stuck out from the bowl each a different color. She set the bowl in the middle of the table, sitting next to Noctis, and looking greedily at the drink.
"What is it?" Cloud asked.
"Sex on the Beach!" Myrna rubbed her hands together like a villain about to unveil their evil plan, "Grab a straw and start drinking. This is only round one!"
Only round one? I remembered my hangover from the last time I drank round after round, and I really didn't want to get to that point. Nevertheless, I grabbed a straw, followed by Cloud and Noctis. Myrna glanced between all of us.
"Ready, set… DRINK!"
The fish bowl disappeared quickly between the four of us, and Myrna brought back one after the other until we had downed at least four. I was feeling the buzz wearing on, and tried hard to keep my wits about me and not go overboard like last time. We all talked, joked, and laughed around our table. No conversation ever got dull, we just kept going. At some point, I stopped caring about my white censor bar and the looks I would get when I wandered around the club looking for the bathroom. Something with the music playing surged through me and all I wanted to do was get up and dance. Myrna seemed too into her conversation with Noctis. Both of them being city kids, they had more things in common than I could keep up with. Plus they seemed to be enjoying their talk, reminiscing over their childhood days in Midgar. Cloud sat idly next to me, paying attention to the conversation before us, but I could tell he understood about as much as I did.
"So, Cloud. Where did you grow up?" I asked.
"Nibelheim. You?"
"Gongaga." I said proudly, sitting up straight.
Cloud chuckled, trying to hide his laughter with his hand.
"What?" I asked, "What's so funny?"
"Nothing." He chuckled, "There's nothing funny about Gongaga."
I narrowed my eyes at him, willing my brain to come up with a counter argument for the name of his hometown, but the alcohol surging through me blocked any logical comebacks. So instead, I just awkwardly glared at him for much longer than I should have, which only made him chuckle more. His laughter was contagious, because not soon after, I started to laugh along with him.
The beat of the music changed, and that itch to get up and dance surged through me again. I looked to the dance floor, watching the groups of people all jump around and lose themselves in the song. I wanted to feel that serenity too, but I didn't want to do it alone. I turned back to Cloud and grabbed his wrist.
"Come on, come dance with me!" I pulled him off his seat and dragged him to the dance floor. The smile left his face instantly, replaced by a slight fear.
"But I don't dance." He said with a shaky voice.
"Neither do I, that's the fun of it!"
I led him to the outside of the dance floor and released my hold on his wrists. He stood rigid and uncomfortable as I began to dance around him. I let the music guide my moves, swaying my hips to the song and tapping my feet. Cloud's fingers twitched like he wanted to try, but was too nervous. I laughed at his shyness and grabbed his hands.
"Come on, move with me. Don't think, just listen and move." I said as I helped him crawl out of that nervous shell of his.
He started by moving his feet in tune with me, once or twice accidentally stepping on my toes, but I paid no mind to it. Little by little, he started to get in tune with the beat. He still held back though, looking around him like people were watching and judging him. I grabbed his face and forced his attention away from the crowd around us.
"Hey, don't look at them. Just look at me." His cheeks flushed as he blinked at me. "There's nobody here but us."
With a gulp of air, he nodded. Clumsily getting back into the groove of the song, I took his hands again and twirled around. He got his footing back, only stepping on my feet a couple more times, and then we were nearly in sync. A smile finally spread across his face again as he let the music take over and start to have fun with it. We danced around like kids, laughing and having a good time. Occasionally we would bump into someone and apologize before getting right back into it. The weight that has been sitting on my chest all these weeks felt like it finally lifted off of me and I could breathe again. It was so freeing. I had no cares in the world at that moment. It was just me, Cloud, and the music. It felt like it lasted a lifetime, and then the music stopped. Breathless, we walked back to the table. Noctis and Myrna applauded us when we sat down.
"Nice moves, Sen." Myrna approved, "For a country girl, you didn't do half bad."
"I think the next song should be yours and Noc's. Show Cloud and I those city slicker moves!"
Noctis looked at his wrist and stood up.
"Oh would you look at the time!" He shouted, "Sorry guys, but I can't dance tonight. I gotta get going."
We collectively threw balled up napkins at him and shouted protests. He only laughed as he blocked the napkin balls from hitting his face.
"Seriously though," he said, "I do have to get going before my absence is noticed. Myrna, it was a pleasure meeting you. Cloud and Senna, I'll see you guys around." He mockingly bowed to us and headed for the door.
"Yeah, I gotta head out too. Want to get an early start on my 2nd Class training. See you tomorrow, Sen. Nice meeting you, Cloud." Myrna stretched, and headed out the door after Noctis disappeared.
"And then there were two." I looked at Cloud, "Are you gonna head home as well?"
"It wouldn't be a bad idea. Unless you want some company on your way home." He offered with a smile.
"Don't you live on the other side of town?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"I don't mind a detour." He shrugged.
I smiled at him and stood from my seat. "Alright then, let's get going."
The walk home was peaceful. Cloud and I mostly talked about our upbringing, our families and friends, and our favorite pastimes in our hometown. In no time at all, we were at the door to my apartment.
"Well, this is me." I said, pulling out my key.
"I know." Cloud replied, "I walked you home that night you got really drunk."
I awkwardly scratched my neck with my key. "Yikes, how bad was that walk?"
"I carried you most of the way. You sang some songs, very badly and very loudly, and kept saying how your brother was going to kill you for getting home so late. It wasn't that bad."
I lightly rubbed my temples as I thought about my drunken singing. His ears had to have been bleeding by the end of that journey. My singing voice wasn't the best as it is, I can only imagine how bad my drunk voice must have been.
"I am so sorry you had to witness that." I apologized.
"It was fun. Having a normal conversation with you was a bit more enjoyable though."
"I'm glad I made your night then." I smiled, "I should let you get home before it gets too late. Thanks for the company."
"No problem. I'll see you around, Senna." He smiled back and gave me a short wave before walking down the street.
"Bye, Cloud."
I watched him for a little while as he walked away before finally going inside. The lights were all off, and Zack's snores echoed down the hallway. He would be out like a light by now, but I still stayed as quiet as I could as I made my way to my bedroom. I tossed off my clothes in random directions around my room, threw on an oversized t-shirt, and crawled into bed. The night's events replayed over and over in my mind. Mostly dancing with Cloud. Watching him come out of that shy shell he stays in most of the time and become a carefree person having fun. The vibrant blue of his eyes as he looked at me. His smile and his laugh as he let go of his nervousness. It filled me with a warm feeling. Smiling, I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.