Part II

A/N: The timeline doesn't really follow that of the show from here on. Remember I wrote this just after "I Do," so I didn't actually know what, if anything, was going to happen to Michael Gallant.

Thanks to all who reviewed part I—you're awesome…and those who read without reviewing, you're cool too…but you could be promoted to awesome by giving me a review :) anyway…on to the story…

Previously:

"Then I guess we should get up." His voice was playful, but resigned. Showing her agreement, she began to sit up, but Ray pulled her back down. His tone drastically changed, "I'll stop if you stop…" Neela had never heard his voice sound so scared, and so unsure.

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

They were both silent for almost an hour, each running the previous conversation through their mind. Neela kept her ear pressed up against his chest hearing and feeling his heartbeat. Ray held her close to him, feeling the comfort of her warm breath on his chest.

"Seriously, Neela, let's get up." She could hear his smile had returned too.

II.1. Slip Up

That night, almost a year ago, replayed in her head many times.

Probably hundreds, or possibly even 1000 times.

Each time it ended with her promise freshly in mind, and she'd put the unopened scalpel blade back in the emergency box they kept in the apartment. For the first time in a while, Neela had a day off that didn't coincide with Ray's. He had a gig coming up and traded with someone.

This time though, the night replayed in her head and she closed the box without replacing the scalpel. Tearing open the package, she threw the wrapper in the kitchen garbage, making sure it fell down the side, so Ray wouldn't see it resting on top. She put the emergency box back in its spot and returned to the bathroom. The tub, she remembered, was the easiest to clean up and therefore, easiest to hide the evidence. She sat on the edge of the tub for several minutes, her mind racing with too many thoughts to be able to concentrate on any one individually. She took a deep breath and placed the blade on her skin.

Her surgical elective taught her exactly how deep she could go without causing permanent damage. She drew the sharp steel across her leg, the living flesh and the lifeless metal trying to trade their states of existence. She watched as the first crimson ribbon fell down her leg until it hit a small puddle in the tub and burst into a pink cloud as the color diffused into the old bathwater. After she allowed two more ribbons to cascade down her leg, she became fully cognizant of what she was doing.

She dropped the sharp object into the tub and grabbed a rag towel from under the sink. She quickly wiped up her leg so she wouldn't track blood, held the towel to her thigh and tried to run, but ended up hobbling awkwardly, into the living room to get the phone. She dialed what she could practically call her home number, with how much time she spent at that hospital. Jerry picked up.

"County General ER"

"Hi Jerry this is Neela, can I speak to Ray please?" She tried her best to sound calm.

"He's kind of busy right now, Neela, is it urgent? Abby's right h—" Abby grabbed the phone, cutting him off. Neela never called in on her days off.

"Neela, is everything okay?"

"No, I need to talk to Ray." She kept her voice steady, but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep control much longer. "Now." Her eyes burned with the tears she was not allowing to fall.

"Do you want him to pick up in the family room? Or an empty exam room?" Abby knew there was something wrong, but Neela obviously was only going to talk to Ray.

"That's probably a good idea." She whispered, and then turning the phone away from her, finally unable to hold back her tears, began to cry.

"Just one moment, Neela, I'm getting him right now." Abby tried to sound soothing, but it was hard when her best friend was in trouble and she didn't know why.

/In the ER/

Abby turned to Jerry and ordered him to transfer the call to Exam 4. She walked as quickly as she could down the hall without it being called running. Neela's words sped through her head. It was the tone of Neela's voice that bothered Abby much more than the actual words. The fact that Neela wouldn't even tell Abby was weird, and she didn't like it. Abby was almost jealous of how close Ray and Neela had become. She pushed that thought aside, telling herself to focus on her friend—her friend who needed help.

She poked her head into Trauma 3. "Ray, have a call."

"Abby, do you not see I am in a trauma room?"

"Yes I do Ray, but I also see the patient is stable and you are just suturing, and it's an urgent call. I can finish suturing, you go pick up the phone!"

"Abby that's ridic—"

"Ray, it's Neela. She's not okay, and she won't even talk to me."

"Oh shit…uhh…" He hesitated as he tried to figure out how to pass off in the middle of suturing. Abby had already put on gloves and she grabbed the tools out of Ray's hands.

"Exam 4!" she shouted after him.

Throwing open the door to Exam 4, Ray grabbed the phone, "Neela?" his voice was urgent. "What's the matter?"

"Ray…" her sobbing made her hold the vowel in his name longer than normal.

"Talk to me Neela."

"I'm sor- sorry…" her tears caught her voice as she tried to speak.

"You probably don't need to be." The sentence rushed out of his mouth. Then he added more slowly, but equally urgent as before, "What happened?"

"But, I- I promised y- you."

What has she promised me? Picking the movie for Friday night would not upset her…then it came to him…fuck.

"Neela, Neela listen to me, okay? Don't be sorry—" He tried to sound calm, but figured he probably didn't.

"But I prom—"

"Stop it Neela." He was louder with this, and the authority in his voice made her stop. "Where are you right now?"

"The cou- couch" her voice caught once more before she was able to restrain her tears again.

"Where is it?" Matter of fact. Sound matter of fact.

"In the tub." Her voice was small, timid and ashamed.

"Where'd you do it?" Where's the line between interrogation and gathering the facts?

"My thigh."

"Did you put something on it?"

"A towel."

"Has it stopped?" Ray, shut up and get your ass home! You'll see all these answers when you get there…you're not doing much good here! He grabbed a pen and paper, and started writing down everything Abby would need to know about his patients—luckily it was a slow day and there were only two—and she was relatively familiar with both. Then he added at the bottom a note that Abby could empathize with…she 'fell off the wagon,' if you will. Ray didn't think Abby knew what Neela's destructive habit was, but she knew there was a problem, and she knew what it's like to struggle with one.

"No." Okay…that's okay.

"Is it slowing?" Are there any supplies I should take home? He reached into the drawer beside the sink and took some non-stick gauze pads.

"Not really." Shit. Given that answer, he grabbed a roll of gauze too. He knew they had plenty at home, but he wanted to be sure.

"Stay where you are. It'll be ok. I'm leaving here in" he glanced at his watch 14:40.30, "in time to catch the El at quarter of." He would have to move damn fast to get to the El station in time to make that ride. Four and a half minutes.

Slamming down the phone he flew out of the room.

"Ray, slow down!" Susan scolded him as he almost rammed into her. "And you didn't hang up the phone!"

"Sus— Dr. Lewis, I can't right now. Abby'll explain." Abby was just emerging from Trauma 3, having just finished suturing the man, and Ray thrust the paper into her hand. "I've got my cell if you have any questions." Susan Lewis stepped into Exam 4 to hang up the phone.

"Of course," Abby said, but it ended up being to herself, for Ray was already out of earshot.

On his way past the supply room, he ducked in a grabbed a few packages of suture threads in various sizes. Just in case. I hope to God she doesn't need them, but I've gotta be prepared. Making a momentary stop in the locker room to get his bag, Ray ran out of the ER doors of County General.

"What was that about?" Susan asked, bewildered.

"I'm not entirely sure," Abby answered, slowly and unsure. "Neela called," the confusion fell from Susan's face and she started to nod.

"She never calls in when she's off."

"Exactly." The two women shrugged, equally in the dark about the details of the situation.

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