I'm running out of creative ways to tell you...mine, they are not

III.2. X X X X X

"Starting from here," he motioned to his left side, "is a mark for each of the women I've slept with since the night you found out Michael died." She raised her eyebrows, confused and surprised. "I thought maybe if I could see them destroying me, I'd stop."

His promiscuous nature was its own destructive habit, but she decided months ago that sleeping around was better than laying a knife to his skin. Not much better, but better nonetheless. She hadn't realized he was doing both.

He shifted so he was lying on his back instead of his side. Neela readjusted the top of his pants so she could see the string of marks across his body. She could see they faded as she looked from right to left. The oldest mark a little less than a year old, and the newest, she guessed, was from last weekend. She dragged her thumb across the cuts. Her finger sliding smoothly over the old scars, but catching as they got newer and were less healed.

"Oh Ray…" Barely any sound came out as she moved her lips.

"I told myself I'd stop doing it and stay with the first girl who said anything about them." He was whispering. "No one has said anything…"

She stared at him for a moment before looking down. She guessed there were 25 or 30 x's across his body.

One for each gig they've had in the last year…there are marks all the way across his body, and no one has said anything?!

"Ray…you promised me you'd stop…" Her hands rested on each end of the row of x's, her eyes settled on his. "What happened? Why didn't you say something?"

"You were doing so well, Neela…you were the one who lost a husband, and you were doing so well…I didn't want to drag you back down."

"That's why we were in this together, Ray. In case the other one started to slip…"

"I couldn't bear the thought of pulling you down."

"Oh Ray…" She leaned down, putting her forehead on his chest. "Ray," her quiet voice further muffled by his shirt, "maybe…maybe you wouldn't pull me down," she looked up at him, "maybe I'd pull you up." He wrapped his arms around her and moved her so she was lying on top of him. Her hands had slid up from his waist under his shirt and were now resting on his chest. Letting her head fall back down between her hands she could hear and feel his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry Neela." His voice was void of all emotion. It was a sincere apology, but his voice was flat.

"What about me, Ray? I said something." She shifted her head to look up at him.

"Yeah," he paused, "you did."

"So will you stop now?" She was both pleading and demanding. He exhaled loudly.

"I guess I will." He tightened his grip on her.

"You better."

Things only get happier from here...no more sad stuff...I like happy endings, usually...