Chapter 117

Cry Me A River

River knew she needed to help Cameron before she left to return to her time period. If she did not, Cameron was going to be in 'trouble'. She worked on a series of files for Cameron at Cameron's request. While she prepared these files, she was sure she'd run across similar files already on Cameron's chip. They were well hidden and she lost them as soon as she found them. River hadn't put them there yet. That was unless she had done it in the future or the past.

Cameron was sure she'd 'relived' her life several times. River wondered what part she played in all that. This information only reinforced her belief that Cameron needed to stay in this timeline with John. Cameron's future would be fluid after that. She knew Cameron's power cell would most likely outlast both John and her lifespans. It could also be replaced. She could only speculate on what this all meant for the present, the future and the past.

River could not tell Cameron what she'd found and speculated. That would only complicate everything more. Instead she needed to make Cameron understand her importance NOW. It was in the 'present' where Cameron belonged.

She was sure this was not the end or even the beginning for Cameron and her and whatever relationship evolved or already happened in the future, a future. It appeared that 'now' was actually in both of their pasts somehow. This story was not over. It was not over because it hadn't yet even actually begun. It was very clear to her that there were a lot of temporal forces at play here. It was not Cameron's time 'yet' for them to be together. River knew Cameron must stay in the present, this present time period. The present time was both a future and a past somehow to each of them.

River did not like the choice she needed to make. She would also 'make' Cameron's choice for her. She needed to try to put as brave a face on it as possible. Before the latest files she'd uncovered she was willing to allow Cameron to return with her. She was afraid it was the only way to prevent Cameron from seeking termination. There were too many conflicts in Cameron's programming. Currently her programming and 'free will' were at odds with each other.

She knew Cameron did not want to be 'changed' from who she was. Cameron was unaware of the hidden files. Cameron needed some programming to calm her when the conflicts arose. She knew Cameron contained all the programming she would need to 'protect' her. There were files that would 'unlock' as necessary.

It was time to face the demon. The demon was truth and reality.

"Cameron, these people, all the people and machines here respect and love you." River said.

The cruel words and thoughts from the past haunted her. Nobody liked 'scrap metal' for anything.

"Maybe, I don't think so." Cameron said sadly. "I am just a walking 'pile of junk'."

That sounded terrible to River.

"You don't believe that." River said.

Cameron believed it was true.

"Sometimes I do." Cameron said.

Cameron really did feel that way often.

"Why?" River asked.

It was her directives from Future John and what he wanted.

"I can't restore the 'Natural Order' of the timeline." Cameron said.

River didn't think that alone was the problem based on what she'd viewed in Cameron's files.

"Did you ever consider this IS the 'Natural Order' of this timeline?" River asked. "Maybe things are supposed to be as they are."

Cameron was painfully aware things always seemed to restore themselves. That seemed to happen no matter what she changed or altered. She always ended up back in the same place with the same people under the same circumstances.

"Yes." Cameron said.

River wanted to go home. She had a 'family' too that mattered to her. Her timeline seemed to revolve around her and her actions.

"Cameron, I want to go home." River said. "John Henry said it is ready to try."

Cameron desperately wished it wasn't true but she knew that it was.

"I know." Cameron said.

River knew this next part was going to hurt Cameron.

"I need to go 'alone'." River said. "You can not go with me."

Cameron looked worried.

"But I want to go with you." Cameron said. "We belong 'together'."

"I want that too, Cameron. Your place is here by John and the people that love you. It is here with the people that worship you. You belong here." River said. "THIS is your 'Natural Order' in time."

Cameron saw it all differently than what River tried to explain to her. She saw it as rejection.

"You don't 'want me' either?" Cameron asked.

Cameron's left hand began to glitch.

River knew the glitch was coming before she saw it.

"You know that is not true." River said.

Cameron thought of termination again. Nothingness was better than rejection. John had already given her betrayal and rejection. She did not need more rejection. Nobody rejected anything that was 'good'. People only rejected things that were 'bad'. Unless termination was embraced her programming needed to be changed.

"I need my programming altered to continue to function here, River." Cameron said.

River did not think Cameron knew how much she'd evolved and grown. It was because of the evolution and growth that Cameron 'suffered' from 'human problems'.

"No, you don't. You feel all the same feelings as the rest of the people here do, like I feel too." River said. "What you feel is what all humans feel. You have evolved so much Cameron you are like the rest of us now."

Cameron wondered how River could 'feel' like she did. It was a terrible feeling.

"You have those same feelings?" Cameron asked.

That revelation was a surprise to Cameron. Now she felt bad for River if she felt like she did.

"Yes, everyone does." River said. "It is part of being 'human'."

Cameron wondered now if this was how she was supposed to feel.

"So what I feel now is 'natural'?" Cameron asked. "Do you mean that I am 'normal'?"

River could 'read' all of them.

"Yes, I can feel what everyone feels." River said. "I am being honest with you."

River placed Cameron's hand on her neck. River wanted Cameron to know she was not deceiving her.

Cameron withdrew her hand. She did not think River would lie to her.

"I will never find another like you, River." Cameron said.

River believed that too.

"I won't find anyone like you either, Cameron." River said.

Cameron thought she needed to accept her 'fate'.

"I must stay here where I am needed. John needs me to fight Skynet…." Cameron said in resignation. "I must maintain the 'Natural Order'."

This time Cameron knew what River was going to say before she said it.

"Everyone sacrifices for John Connor." River said.

John Henry tried to explain everything about what would happen when River was returned to her proper place in time. There seemed like a lot of unknowns in the mix. They were not even sure any of this would work.

That caused a lot of worry for John. He did not want to be responsible for River's death.

"So how do we know we won't end up dumping her in space or some other timeline?" John asked.

John Henry could only base the outcome on mathematical equations.

"We don't. Based on all the information from Mrs. Weaver, Cameron and River, we should put her on her ship at the exact same time Cameron and the others appeared." John Henry said.

John was still a little confused.

"Wait. Let me get this straight." John said. "There will be two time bubbles that appear on River's ship at the same time."

John Henry looked over his calculations. That was what he already said.

"Yes." John Henry said. "They will appear at the same time. They will be located in different spots on the ship. If they appear at the same time, Cameron will not detect the second time incursion."

John thought that would be strange to watch.

"So River will be there and watch 'herself' depart with Cameron and the girls." John said.

"That is accurate." John Henry said.

John wondered how things could be altered intentionally.

"What would happen if River ran over to her 'other self' and prevented her from leaving with Cameron and the girls?" John asked. "She could physically pull her 'other self' away from leaving. Wouldn't there be two of her then?"

John Henry tilted his head slightly.

"That would be correct." John Henry said. "There would be two of them. One would be a few weeks older than the other one at that point."

This was the part that worried John.

"What would happen to Cameron and the girls in this timeline if River never was here?" John asked.

John Henry quickly replayed the events once Cameron and the girls arrived back in this timeline.

"It might create a new timeline." John Henry said. "Allison would have been mutilated and probably Vanna too before Cameron could have arrived to aid them. If Jesse acted as she did she would most likely have been shot at some point and probably Allison and Vanna would have been too. Cameron would have sustained massive sheath damage as the bikers began to fight back against her. Most of them were armed. When Cameron's shot up chassis would have arrived back here, Riley would most likely have been terminated."

None of that sounded good to John.

"What if River was over to run over and join the group for the trip back." John asked. "That way there would be two of her that appeared in this timeline. I think it could create a 'Second River'. There would be two of her now in our timeline."

John Henry contemplated that scenario.

"Yes." John Henry said. "There would be two of 'River' at that point. The additional person could affect where and when the time transfer occurred too. I think that would be probable."

John wondered how far this could go.

"What if Cameron went with River and did the same thing?" John asked.

"Then there would be two of 'Cameron' and two of 'River' in the same timeline at the same time and they would be the identical individuals." John Henry said. "They would literally be the same individuals."

John liked that concept.

"So at the point I would have two wives and they would both be the same person but as two separate individuals." John said.

John Henry worried about a conflict.

"Cameron may try and terminate her 'other self' at some point." John Henry said. "I don't think they would get along and I don't think they would share."

John saw another possibility.

With two of River at that point we could send both of them back and one could stay on her ship and the other one would be the one to return with Cameron and the girls." John said.

This was staring to get confusing even for John Henry.

"What is your point and what is the 'end game?" John Henry asked.

John was sure it was possible at this point.

"The original River would be returned to her timeline and the second or Duplicate River could be with the second or Duplicate Cameron." John said. "There lives could go on as intended with one set and the second set could create their own life together. It sounds like a win-win."

John Henry could see it may work in theory but everything could be altered too.

"We need to worry about a 'temporal error' with all the energy bubbles at some juncture." John Henry said. "They may all be killed."

At this point John thought that maybe they better not push it.

"It sounds dangerous." John said. "Is there any way to test it?"

"No." John Henry said.

Cameron walked into the Command Center with River.

"I will go." Cameron said. "I will see if it works."

John wondered how much of his conversation they heard.

"How do we get you back if you do go?" John asked.

John Henry thought some type of test would be a good idea.

"With the modification from Mrs. Weaver and River I think we can do it." John Henry said.

River felt this was her obligation.

"I will go - alone." River stated.

The group went to the TDE room after River said all her 'goodbyes'. She did not want everyone to be there when she left. Only John and John Henry remained.

River looked around. She could feel they was apprehensive. She was too.

"Can you give Cameron and me a minute, please?" River asked.

John Henry and John left the room.

River faced Cameron.

"Goodbye, Cameron. I will always love you." River said.

Cameron felt like a vice was about to crush her.

"I will always love you, River." Cameron said.

There was a moment of painful silence.

"I love you, Cameron, and you love me." River said.

"I love you, River, and you love me." Cameron said.

They held each other softly as they sobbed.

Their lips gently touched. It was a simple parting gesture.

River stood on the TDE pad. She slipped her dress off and handed it to Cameron silently.

Cameron looked into River's eyes as she started the procedure.

The arcing and flashing started, the energy bubble formed.

"I'll be back…." echoed in the emptiness as the energy bubble disappeared.

The arcing and flashing ended.

River was gone.

Cameron walked out of the TDE room as fast as she could and never looked back.

On board River's ship, two time bubbles began to appear in different locations.

River ran from her time bubble to where she knew the other one would be. She saw herself with Cameron and the others and then they were gone when the other energy bubble appeared and then disappeared with them.

River walked over picked up her dress and slipped it on.

It was as if nothing ever happened here on her ship. To her, she found true love and learned so much in the time she was in the 'past'. She now possessed all the information on the construction of the improved TDE. River would plan to start gathering the resources to construct one.

"I love you, Cameron, and you love me." River softly said.

The tears flowed down River's face.

"I'll be back…." River said.

Sweet Sunshine

When the darkness of life overwhelms me
You are my ray of sweet sunshine
In the trapped cage of a daily drudge life
You make me feel fine, you are so divine

I try not to take, use or push
I do not want to damage or lose
The precious bond that we have
You have many from which to choose

I am nothing special, nobody
I feel and know it everyday
Sane (or insane) shards of my mind
Escape as things to you I say

I may not touch your body
However you allow me
Something more precious
To touch, feel, share and see

It is your feeling, thinking, lovely mind
THAT is the real you
I want you to survive
You must do what you need too

Here is a warm long big firm hug
That can touch you much more
That I pray will have true lasting meaning
Without ever having heard the other snore

Nobody