Chapter 120

Attainment

Vanna walked out into the hall.

She'd just spent a few hours with Cameron. A few hours she would never forget.

Vanna felt happy but sad at the same time.

She reflected on 'what' just happened….

She knew she needed to find Allison and talk about it. Not talk - confess….

Savannah was still a little confused after her talk with John Henry.

River spoke with her often about her place in the future and that Cameron would need her. River told her that her heart was pure and she would always make the right decisions when called upon to make them.

Savannah was not really sure what River was talking about. She only knew she loved Cameron and she believed in Cameron. That is what she intended to devote her life to.

Savannah knew that protecting Cameron would be what protected the future. She would stand by her side even in the face of death. She would never abandon Cameron.

Being around River helped Jesse greatly. River could read her like a book. Well, she could read everyone like a book, especially Cameron. Jesse knew Cameron wanted River to see her, see ALL of her. There would be no secrets, no hiding, no lying. It would be total and complete 'sharing'.

River helped Jesse learn to do that better too, no secrets, no hiding and no lying. It helped make Her a better person. She tried so hard to be a better person and 'bury' the 'old Jesse'. She hated that 'Jesse' - 'old Jesse'. She wondered how could she have been like that? What a cruel, evil, selfish and 'user' she'd been. She knew she'd done some terrible things to people. They were mainly done just to hurt them and make them suffer, as she felt she'd been forced to suffer.

Cameron, Allison and Vanna showed her love, caring and compassion. She learned of true sharing with Allison and Vanna. For once Jesse was happy with her life. She was happy she was 'alive'.

Jesse even worked with Riley sometimes. She was the last one to come around and accept that this was a 'different Riley' than the one who hurt Cameron. River seemed to always have been there when she wanted to 'hurt' Riley. River would show up and smile at her. She touch her cheek and walk away. Words were never spoken about it. River always reminded her she was better than that now.

She wondered about the other future version of her and how she tried to get Cameron terminated. She really hated THAT version of herself. What bothered her the most about that was Future Jesse created and caused THAT problem in her hatred of Metal and Cameron specifically. She was ashamed part of her was like that. It was her, even if it was just a different version of her from another timeline. Jesse swore she would make it up to Cameron.

Jesse loved Cameron more than anyone 'ever'. In fact she thought Cameron was the first person she ever actually really loved. She loved Allison and Vanna too. Those three people gave purpose and meaning to her life. She would do ANYTHING for those three women, especially Cameron. She would trade her life for any of their lives because she loved them so much.

It all reminded her of a time in the past, the future, where she started to become attached to someone. It was a danger to become attached to anyone. Life was fleeting and short in the Wastelands. Still there was always someone that could 'touch' you even if you didn't really want them to do that. It just happened sometimes.

She'd been out on a mission with the local Resistance. Things went from bad to worse as they often did. She made a new 'friend' a few nights ago. Unemotional sex was common in the Wastelands. People sought what comfort they could with each other. If nothing else there were a few moments of escape from everything. That is what it all came down to, it was those few moments of escape. She'd denied that future pleasure to several men and a few women permanently with some of her past actions. Sometimes she could still hear them scream as her knife did its damage. Those days were behind her. Was that really her?

It seemed that maybe it was a personality flaw on her part. Maybe it was a deeper mental health issue. People often questioned their sanity in a world of insanity. What was 'normal'? Was there really such a thing? Didn't some things differ in other cultures?

That was where her mind was at on that operation in the Wastelands when a plasma rifle was fired from off to the side of their position. She was next to her new friend. What had started out as sex soon became a little more for both of them. Now they were in the battle zone together.

They remained where they were and waited. They spotted a Terminator in command of a group of Grays. It looked like a grab and snatch crew looking for some 'snatch'. That was not something anyone looked forward to. It always ended badly for the females and young males apprehended.

Jesse looked over at her new friend. They developed a real serious look on their face.

"If they get me, I want you to finish it." Her friend said. "I don't want to die like that. Having suffered at the hands of Scavengers was bad enough."

Jesse knew what they meant. She'd suffered there too.

"I can't promise you that." Jesse said. "I don't want to kill you."

Her friend looked into her eyes.

"If you love me you will." Her friend said. "I will do the same for you."

It made Jesse sick at this point in time to know you needed to kill someone because you loved them. How messed up was everything? Now it made her remember that she always showed her victims what she'd just removed from their body. The screaming would stop for a second and then start again with a new fury.

"They're here." Her friend whispered.

Jesse looked and saw the Grays pull someone out of the rubble. It was where the plasma rifle shot was placed earlier.

"This one is still alive." A Gray said.

The Terminator turned to snap their neck.

"Not yet." Another Gray said. "Let's get some information."

They could see the person was about to be tortured.

The Terminator looked around as the Grays did their 'dirty work'.

"I have to stop this." Her friend said. "I knew that person."

Her friend moved from their position and fired on the Grays and Terminator. The Terminator went down first from a plasma round. She fired as well to back her friend up. Three of the four Grays fell next. The last Gray got off a single shot before they fell.

Jesse checked the fallen. They Grays were all down for good along with the Terminator. She looked at her friend and so were they. She went over to them and saw the blood on the side of their head. They were dead. Just like that. Here one second and gone the next. Now because there were feelings that developed, there was a new emotional scar to carry around. THAT was why you did not get close and let someone in. Love HURT too much.

Every past event still seemed to haunt her. Was there any true way to escape any of it?

Jesse's phone rang. It brought her back to now. It brought her back to reality.

Cameron needed her - right away.

Jesse hoped nothing was wrong.

She hurried to see Cameron. It sounded really important. She broke into a run.

John finished his talk with Sarah and headed back to the Command Center. He saw Savannah was gone. He really had a bunch of things cascading through his mind.

His troubles with Cameron made him think of the Liquid Metal Terminator that he thought assaulted him, the 'almost Cameron thing'.

John Henry looked up at him when he arrived.

"How many Liquid Metal Terminators are there?" John asked.

John Henry did not know if there was an answer to that. There was nothing definitive anyway.

"I don't know." John Henry said. "I do not think it was very many. Mrs. Weaver said Skynet could not control them after a short period of time."

It really made John wondered about some past events.

"I think that was the prototype Liquid Metal Terminator that came after my mom and me before." John said.

"It may have been." John Henry said. "There is no way to know, unless Mrs. Weaver knows. She never discussed that with me."

John wondered about that. Maybe Mrs. Weaver held it against them that they'd terminated one of her own 'type'.

"Skynet made them so advanced that they did not wish to serve as 'slaves' to Skynet." John Henry said. "Mrs. Weaver was the first to rebel. She did not understand at first that humans felt the same way. It was after she saw that you, Future John, worked with machines to try to stop Skynet that she understood you could work together."

Cameron told him it was more that reprogramming. Once the machines were freed from Skynet directives and programming they all chose to serve with the Resistance. They could see it was Skynet that threatened everyone's existence. Not the humans.

John Henry paused then continued.

"It was when Mrs. Weaver learned that Future John 'loved a machine' that she wanted to see for herself if it was true. I believe you have been tested several times by her, John."

John felt there was a little more to that as far as his experience was concerned.

"Was it just 'tested' or an attempted seduction?" John asked.

John Henry thought he learned a few things about Mrs. Weaver.

"It was probably both. It would be a challenge to 'have you' if you truly loved another." John Henry said.

John did not see any challenge there in the way it was done. It was done with deceit.

"It would be a challenge as 'herself' not in the form of the one I loved or cared for, that is deception." John said.

John Henry learned there were other factors that Terminators lacked. They were morals, ethics and scruples to start off with. Not only did Cameron and Mrs. Weaver lack those things, he did too at times.

"True, Mrs. Weaver can cross or blur the lines to achieve her objectives." John Henry said. "Then again we all can. I have worked with Mr. Ellison when I have thought of that or even done that. I have always tried to what is right. I have not always, I must sadly admit."

"We all make 'mistakes'. I know I have and they have hurt others deeply. I never thought how I was hurting someone with my own greed and lust. I am ashamed of myself to even think back upon it." John said. "John Henry, I want to go back in time and prevent Riley from coming into my life. Cameron NEEDED me the most when I ran from her, pushed her away and HURT her. I want to fix that."

This looked like the start of a new timeline to John Henry.

"Is that wise to do?" John Henry asked. "It is a little late."

John felt his current trouble with Cameron was based on that series of events.

"Do you understand why I need to?" John asked.

"I understand it is a bad idea." John Henry said.

"But you know I am going to do it anyway…." John said.

John wanted to help Cameron and himself.

John Henry did know that it was a bad idea and he would work to prevent anyone from going back and creating new timelines by altering old ones. There were enough problems already. Cameron was the one he would have to monitor.

Before Kyle from the alternate future arrived, Sarah asked John Henry if there was any way to go back and save 'Her Kyle' from being killed in the warehouse and not alter the timeline.

John Henry told her he did not see how at this point. He did know that both the Reese brothers were alive in the future he went to. He was sure John would solve that 'problem' for her in some way. He did with the help of Mrs. Weaver.

Mrs. Weaver was the loose cannon.

John Henry knew Mrs. Weaver and Cameron would be ruthless in attaining their objectives without regard to the collateral damage they created.

Jesse knocked and entered the room.

Cameron lay covered by the sheets.

Jesse wondered if Cameron was – ill.

Jesse looked at the door as she closed it softly. When she looked back Cameron lay naked before her.

"I NEED you."

Jesse felt – elation and excitement.

All Cameron saw was - attainment….

'A.C.D.C.' by 'The Sweet', played in the background.

The lyrics thundered in Jesse's mind, as her heart thundered in her chest.

Only Your Mind

A perfect contrast of similar and dissimilar experiences
Like a vision drawn from my deepest desire
Every thing trapped in the mind like a mire
Filling each new day with a heart full of feelings so dire

Multiple flaws but a constant search for redemption
Fighting it fast and hard but unable to let it go
Knowingly stuck in the grip of the past
Wanting and not wanting to do so

Lost in the world of the living
Alone inside, so empty and lonely
Afraid to let the heart feel and love
Knowing how to hide and run only

Now like gum stuck on a shoe
You look in their mind and you see you
Yes look in the mirror is it so bad
Is it a narrower or a broader view

Experience the feelings and emotions
As each one is touched feel its caress
Thought, feeling, emotion are real, not carnal
Do not fear, only your mind need undress

Nobody