Kirby, Pikachu, and the Cardboard Box
Disclaimer: If, for some reason, you thought that I owned Super Smash Brothers, Kirby, Pikachu, or a Cardboard Box, then I feel obliged to inform you that no, I do not.
This story is strictly intended to raise a few smiles. If you notice a lack of gore, romance, or anything in between, that's because there is none. (Oh, really?)
"And now," bellowed Master Hand through the megaphone, "Kirby versus Bowser!"
Bowser landed onto the stage, and walked across it, snarling relaxedly.
"Not… confident…" said Kirby, slowly backing away.
Master Hand, in case you don't know, was just some giant, disembodied floating hand, who was the man (well, hand) behind a fighting tournament comprised of the biggest names in the universe. The "Final Destination" portal, which Kirby and Bowser now fought on, was not nearly as big as it seemed from outside.
"Nowhere to run!" said Kirby, thinking out loud. He knew he mustn't panic. If he did-
"GROWL!" growled Bowser, shocking Kirby badly.
Kirby immediately resorted to Emergency Plan A.
"Please don't kill me," he said as politely as possible.
Bowser advanced, coming even closer.
Kirby immediately resorted to Emergency Plan B.
"Please don't kill me," he said as politely as possible, while making pitiful little puppy-dog-esque eyes.
Bowser snarled and advanced, coming even closer.
Kirby immediately resorted to Emergency Plan C.
"Please don't kill me," he said as politely as possible, while making pitiful little puppy-dog-esque eyes with tears dripping from them.
Bowser hesitated, then continued to advance.
Kirby immediately resorted to Emergency Plan D.
"Please don't kill me, or I shall be very sad," he said, while doing all of the above.
Bowser shrugged and raised his clawed paw for the killing blow!
Kirby immediately resorted to Emergency Plan E.
He ate Bowser.
"Well, it's settled!" shouted Master Hand. "This match's winner is… Bowser!"
"WHAT?" said everyone in the audience.
Master Hand looked down at his reference sheet. "Wait… Bowser is the spiky one… oh, sorry, this match's winner is… Jigglypuff!"
"WHAT?" said Kirby. "Just because I'm pink-"
"Oh, you're the Dreamlander," said Master Hand. "This match's winner is… Meta Knight!"
"Would it hurt to look at my nametag?" said Kirby, pointing to the gigantic piece of plastic nailed to his back.
"Oh," said Master Hand. "Congratulations, Kirby! And please let Bowser out."
"Woo! I won!" yelled Kirby, jumping for joy.
And so it came to pass that Kirby won the friendly match, and also ate Bowser in the process. However, this tale is somewhat irrelevant to our story, so we shall henceforth ignore it.
Later, once everyone had forgotten the entire event the way that people do when it comes to all great sporting events (and by that I mean about four minutes later), Pikachu approached Kirby.
"Oh, hi, there," said Kirby amiably.
"Pika ka chu," said Pikachu. ("Hi, Kirby.")
"What'cha doing here?" said Kirby.
"Just wanted to congratulate you," said Pikachu.
"On what?" said Kirby.
"Winning the fight," said Pikachu.
"Fight…?" said Kirby.
"The one you were in four minutes ago," said Pikachu.
"Oh," said Kirby. "Yeah… I vaguely remember that… I won?"
"Yes," said Pikachu.
"Aw, shucks," said Kirby, "that's really nice of you."
Pikachu nodded. "I'm glad you ate Bowser."
"Why?" said Kirby. "Did you want him dead or something?"
"Noo," said Pikachu slowly.
"Meh," said Kirby, "let's play something!"
"Like what?" said Pikachu.
Kirby thought about that.
Pikachu waited patiently.
Kirby thought.
Pikachu waited patiently.
Kirby thought.
Pikachu waited patiently.
Kirby thought.
Pikachu fell asleep. Later, he woke up, feeling rather refreshed.
Kirby thought.
"Hey," he said, "I have an idea!"
"What's that?" said Pikachu.
"Notice that big cardboard box over there?" said Kirby.
"Yes," said Pikachu.
"Let's play inside the box!"
"Sounds like fun!" said Pikachu.
(This is what is known as a 'fluffy' story. In other words, there is absolutely no tension or drama in the plot, and everything is, all in all, rather boring.)
Kirby and Pikachu hopped into the cardboard box.
"Whee!" exclaimed Kirby gleefully. "We're in a magical food machine!"
"No!" said Pikachu. "A spaceship! We're in a spaceship!"
"Compromise! We're in a spaceship in search of a… uh… food planet!"
"Yay!"
Kirby and Pikachu rocked from side to side inside the cardboard box.
"Hey," said Bowser, entering the room. "What're you two doing?"
"Oh, no!" shouted Kirby. "It's an evil space monster!"
"What do we do?" said Pikachu.
Kirby ate Bowser.
"Yay!" Pikachu and Kirby yelled together.
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Thus ends the chapter.