Kirby, Pikachu, and the Cardboard Box
Disclaimer: If, for some reason, you thought that I owned Super Smash Brothers, Kirby, Pikachu, or a Cardboard Box, then I feel obliged to inform you that no, I do not.
This story is strictly intended to raise a few smiles. If you notice a lack of gore, romance, or anything in between, that's because there is none. (Oh, really?)
Last time, on Kirby, Pikachu, and the Cardboard Box:
Kirby and Pikachu found a Cardboard Box. They had fun.
Now…
"We're on Candy Planet!" whooped Kirby and Pikachu together, hugging each other.
"I always knew we'd make it," said Kirby.
"There was danger?" said Pikachu.
"Nasty asteroids, right?" said Kirby.
"Oh… that," said Pikachu, nodding.
"Yay!" they said, doing a little victory dance together. As friends.
"Let's go explore!" said Pikachu.
"But where?" said Kirby.
"How about…" Pikachu frowned. "…the Caverns of Sugar!"
"Sounds like fun," said Kirby.
"Let's use the Box Car!" said Pikachu, pointing to the box.
"Wow, it's a car now!" said Kirby.
"Yes," said Pikachu.
"Yes," said Kirby.
They sat in silence for a moment, not particularly doing anything.
"Uh, whee…" said Pikachu.
In the world outside of the cardboard box, it was now dinner. If you prefer, we could call it tea, or the evening meal or (if you're feeling rebellious), supper. The point, however, is moot.
The Smashers were, for the most part, seated around the table in the dining hall, eating.
"Mmm, this food is wonderful," said Yoshi.
"In-a-deed, it is," agreed Mario. "Say, where-a has Bowser gone?"
"I don't know," said Ganondorf from across the table, frowning. "Say, where's Link?"
"I don't know," said Zelda quickly in an unnaturally shrill voice. "Why are you asking me? I didn't kill him. I certainly didn't. Stop asking me questions."
The others exchanged confused looks.
"Someone should go look for Bowser?" said Zelda, meekly, trying to change the subject of the conversation.
Master Hand floated down to Crazy Hand's padded cell.
"Hello, brother," said Crazy Hand from behind his barred doors. "Do you bring me- treats- of- Scottishness?"
"Crazy," sighed Master Hand, "have you escaped from your cell today?"
"Only in the morning," said Crazy Hand in his weird, tight voice. "And all I did was to stalk Donkey Kong. I even fixed the wall to my cell afterwards. I am a good hand."
"Sure, sure," said Master Hand. "Crazy, why can't you be… normal?"
"Because I am Crazy – Crazy Hand!"
Master Hand didn't laugh.
Silence.
"Well, anyway, I just wanted to check that you didn't do anything to Bowser," said Master Hand, "he's disappeared."
"All I know is that I know nothing," said Crazy Hand. "I also know how to cook a kangaroo-and-Chinese-cabbage pie. Would you like to know?"
Master Hand sighed in annoyance and left.
"How did our spaceship turn into a car?" said Kirby.
"Magic," said Pikachu.
"Spaceship magic?" said Kirby.
"Spaceship magic," agreed Pikachu.
Ganondorf came into the room. "Hey, there, Kirby, Pikachu," he said, "have either of you seen Bowser?"
"Is that an alien?" whispered Kirby to Pikachu.
"I think so," said Pikachu, turning around and raising his tail, skunk-style.
"So, have you seen him?" said Ganondorf.
"What do we do?" whispered Pikachu.
"You could zap him," suggested Kirby.
"But what if he's a friendly alien?" said Pikachu.
Kirby turned to Ganondorf and said, in a loud and clear voice, "Excuse me, mister alien, are you friendly?"
"What?" said Ganondorf. "I'm not an alien!"
"He's in denial," said Kirby.
"I heard that!" said Ganondorf.
"You are an alien," insisted Kirby.
"Okay…" said Ganondorf. "Right, then… uh, yes, I'm an alien. Have you seen… alien Bowser?"
"I don't like this," whispered Pikachu. "He seems too good to be true. Did he say he was friendly?"
"No," said Kirby anxiously. He looked at Ganondorf. "Mister alien, are you a friendly alien?"
"I don't know…" said Ganondorf, looking about, as if hoping to find a solution embedded in the walls.
"Did he just say 'no'?" said Pikachu, frightened.
"We'd better kill it just to be safe," said Kirby.
"What?" said Ganondorf. "No, I was just going! Just… going…" He backed away slowly for a few seconds then turned and fled.
Kirby and Pikachu looked at each other blankly.
"Yay!" said Kirby, throwing his hands up in victory. "We survived the alien attack!"
"Yeah!" said Pikachu. "We make a great team!"
And, indeed, they did.
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The chapter is over – but the story is not.