Disclaimer: There are only a few words that will get a man's attention. Two of the top five are "food" and "Dinner."

Let's step back and take a look at what it's like to be Wanda. One girl in a house full of boys, not good odds are they?

It's not easy being me

I trudged down the stairs at about nine that morning. Normally, I would have been up earlier, but for some reason my "admirers" had decided to let me sleep. That, or they'd gotten distracted by Carmen Sandiego again. Not that it mattered, any time to myself is a welcome gift.

"Hey, Wanda." Lance said as I walked into the kitchen. "You're up later than usual."

"I didn't have an alarm clock this morning." I told him.

"Probably because John and Pietro tried to crash some party last night, and Todd got sick last night."

Blink. Stare. "Huh. When was this? He was fine when I went to sleep."

"Apparently he got into the medicine cabinet again." Lance said. "Or the cleaning supplies. Probably the cleaning supplies. Anyway, something to do with his mutation makes him sort of allergic to soap."

"And that's why he got sick." Contrary to popular belief, I'm very good at math. "So Toad's not awake yet?"

"Nope." Lance said.

"And that leaves my brother and the Aussie where?"

"Either in jail, or crashed in their rooms." Lance said.

"So it's just us."

"Unless you want to try to wake Fred up."

I laughed at that. Lance is probably the only mature person in the house. Not that I couldn't be. I just don't want to. Unluckily for me, Todd came bounding down the stairs.

THUMP.

"I'm okay!"

Maybe bounding was an overstatement.

"Whoa. Since when are the stairs made out of foam?" He rubbed his ass as he came through.

"They were solid when I came down." Lance said.

"Same here." I said. Yeah, this means that he knows I'm awake, but he would have figured that out anyway. The frog is ADD, not stupid.

"Hey, Babycakes!" He smiled. It would look a whole lot cuter when he did that if he would just brush his teeth. "Stupid Aussie beat me up?"

"Stupid Aussie's probably wherever Pie is." Lance said.

"Hell?" I offered. Giggles out of both of them. I'm getting better at this comeback business.

"When did they get in?" Todd asked.

"Don't know, don't care." Lance waved. "It's bad enough that I have to separate you loons, I am not spending the better part of my evening chasing them around Bayville."

"I wonder how plastered they are this time?" I asked.

"Who's plastered?" Fred finally decided to wake up.

"Guess." Lance groaned.

"Oh." Big guy grabs one of our mixing bowls—wow, it's clean!—and starts pouring on the cheerios. No wonder there's never anything left for breakfast. "You feelin' any better, little guy?"

"I'm cool, yo." Todd said. "I learned my lesson this time."

Yeah, I'm sure of that! "Does anyone know if we still have any bread left?"

"Check the shelves." Lance pointed. I rummaged through all of our cabinets and shelves and found two cans of green beans, a package of cheese crackers that has been in there since I joined and a whole lot of Spam, ramen noodles, and canned spaghetti O's.

"We need to start a list again." I announced. "How much cash have we got?"

"Not much." Lance said. "None if we have to bail Pietro out again."

"Don't forget Pyro." Fred said.

"They can rot there." I said. "We need groceries."

"Looks like we're going to the dollar store again." Lance sighed.

"I'll go!" Todd piped up. How cute, he wants to run errands for me. Too bad he can't drive, or I just might consider it.

"No." Lance said, possibly on automatic. He says no to lots of things.

"Why?" Todd wined.

"You're too young to drive!" Lance said.

"And you keep running off without the list." I told him.

"You can't drive!" he glared.

"Yes I can." I relied.

"Since when?" He asked.

"Since my Father taught me." Yes, I still hate him. Yes, I know he messed with my memories, and I want to see him dead, but at least I can drive the jeep now. "I'll go."

"Can I go?" Freddy asked.

"No, Freddy." Lance said. "We can't afford to take you along."

"Then can I go?" Todd pipes up. I think I can fix this.

"I need tampons."

"Oh." He said. Maybe… "I can get the food while you're doing that."

Damn. Why can't he just run off like the other four idiots? "Fine! You can go!" I threw my hands in the air. "Just let me finish making the list!"

"Okay!" He beamed. "Let me go get dressed." And he hopped away.

Wait. Dressed? I realized then that I was still in my nightgown. Shit.

"You may wanna take his advice." Lance said. "Not that your sleepwear isn't flattering…"

"Screw you!" I growled. "I'm going to change!"

This shouldn't be too long, only about five chapters or so. As long as it takes to make a day of this. Review please!