Chapter 129

Oh No

Vanna was very concerned about Cameron. It seemed Cameron pushed herself on some timetable that only she seemed to know. They were staying ahead of Skynet, so Judgment Day did not seem to be too close. It was unclear of what else Cameron was after and what the goal was.

She wanted to talk to Allison and they needed to 'do something'. It was time to start listening to Cameron. She was not sure what would hurt Cameron worse. It was a 'no win' situation for Cameron. She wondered how you help someone when whatever you do or don't do will be toxic for that person. Whatever did or did not happen would hurt Cameron. It more than hurt her. It was tearing her apart, both mentally and physically.

Does it come down to the lesser of two evils? Vanna knew what Cameron really wanted. It was for Allison to have John's child and give it to Cameron to raise as her own with John. She knew Jesse or her would do for now with Cameron. It seemed because they failed to 'act' fast enough that Cameron felt she needed to ask Riley to 'help her'. That seemed like a bigger problem to her.

They all knew Cameron was trying to make amends with Riley. That effort seemed to be working. Everyone knew that Riley was in total awe of Cameron now. That happened to everyone who spent time with Cameron. They were able to see how dynamic and amazing she truly was.

John Henry monitored the security feeds as always. He noticed something was wrong. Cameron or Allison was lying on the floor outside of Riley's room. He spotted Allison and Savannah playing with the new toys and stuffed animals Riley gave to Savannah recently. He knew it must be Cameron. He called for John to meet him in the lab. He hurried to go to where Cameron lay. He could see no reason for her being inactive. There was clearly a problem.

He hurried to reach the location where Cameron was sprawled on the ground at. She looked very 'lifeless'. It hurt him to see her like that. He knelt beside her, he could see her beauty and was appalled by her incapacitation. What was wrong? He scanned her to check to see if her power cell was damaged or may have failed. He knew she received some damage in the last raid. The power supply seemed at one hundred percent for some reason. There seemed to be a high level of internal activity as well. He noted her left hand was clenched into a balled fist.

John Henry knew of the internal demons Cameron faced daily. He briefly reflected on some of their past discussion about everything. She said they were all a part of her and made her who she was. Cameron did not want any files deleted. Cameron said if she ever did, she would do it herself. Cameron did not want to change who she was and who she'd become. Cameron always felt so bad about herself. She really could not understand what anyone else saw in her.

He gently touched Cameron's face. He then scooped her up and hurried to the lab. He carried her in his arms.

John arrived at the lab just behind John Henry. He followed him in the lab door. He could see that Cameron was incapacitated.

"What's wrong with her?" John asked as he looked at John Henry and then at Vanna.

Vanna just spotted Cameron in John Henry's arms now. She was at a loss herself as to why.

"I don't know yet." Vanna said. "She just got here."

John wondered where the problem happened.

"Where was she?" John asked. "Was she in combat?"

John Henry did not know any details.

"I carried her here after I saw her lying on the floor." John Henry said. "She was active and then she was not. It is unknown at this time what led up to me finding her."

That sparked a new fear in John. If Cameron started to have a problem with her power cell it could do major damage to the base if it exploded.

"Is her power cell functioning properly?" John asked.

His unasked real question was if it was malfunctioning. He would start with the hopeful part.

What John Henry found so far was perplexing.

"Yes, I have scanned her. It is at one hundred percent. It is like a new power cell. I don't understand how." John Henry said.

John knew that Cameron operated a lot on her own. She'd also been to two futures that he was aware of. As far as anyone knew it could have been more.

"Did she replace it in the future?" John asked. "Maybe she replaced it from one of the other Terminators we disabled?"

John Henry thought he would be privy and aware to any changes that Cameron did.

"I don't think so. I don't know. She never said she did." John Henry said. "She is know for unorthodox actions and activity."

John felt sick. This just did not seem right.

With all the things that were 'happening' to Cameron, John wondered sometimes if this Cameron was really 'his Cameron'. She seemed so different now than she first did in 1999. It was possible she really did evolve. It was also possible this was a different unit that was designed to mimic Cameron.

John did not even want to ask it but he needed to. They needed to know the truth. He needed to know the truth.

"Is this 'My Cameron'? Is it really 'OUR Cameron'?" John asked.

Vanna was a little shocked that John would even ask that question aloud. It may be something they all thought but no one brought up. Vanna worked with Cameron's chassis extensively over the time she'd been at the base.

"I think so." Vanna said. "I can 'check'."

John needed to know even if he was somewhat afraid of the answer.

"How do we tell?" John asked. "Do you know how?"

Vanna had been over every square inch of Cameron's sheath and even done some chassis repair.

"I know how." Vanna said.

John was a little relieved to hear that but still a little afraid of the answer.

"How?" John asked. "Tell me."

Vanna was a little uncomfortable at what she needed to look for. She knew it was something special to Cameron.

"It's 'personal'." Vanna said.

That answer irritated John. Cameron was married to him, not anyone else.

"She is my wife." John said. "I need to know everything. I am the one who should know everything."

Vanna felt a little distraught. This was something that only she knew about besides Cameron. It was something special to both of them.

"It is 'very personal'." Vanna said.

John was angry now because of his frustration. He took it out on Vanna.

"I have seen every inch of her body, Vanna." John said. "My mouth has been over every inch of her body. I know everything, now spill it."

Vanna started to cry. It was a 'secret' only Cameron and her shared. She did not like the pressure John put her under especially based on the circumstances.

"Please go away and I will tell you in a few minutes." Vanna said as she sobbed. "It is 'personal'. You need to respect some things."

John Henry listened to the entire conversation and was as confused as ever. It seemed he knew less now than when the conversation started.

"I don't understand." John Henry said.

John was still visibly upset. He did regret snapping at Vanna.

"I don't either." John added. "I don't understand any of this."

Vanna wanted them to back off and give her some space.

"It is 'very personal' to Cameron." Vanna said.

John tried to think what was 'so personal' to Cameron. He could think of one thing. He thought he was the only one that knew. Maybe Vanna did too.

"Is this about the nipple rings she tried for a few months? The piercing holes are completely healed since she removed the rings and no scar is visible." John said. "It is like they were never there."

Unknown to John, Cameron came across some images on the internet one day. She was intrigued by the location of the jewelry on some of the females. The jewelry was not just confined to their earlobes. Cameron was very pleased after her right nipple finally regenerated and decided to flaunt her new discovery to John. Cameron was happy she was still complete thanks to the body armor they now wore. He was very surprised to see her with two medium sized nipple rings. He wasn't sure why she took them off.

That revelation of the nipple rings was new information to Vanna.

'What the Hell?' Vanna thought. 'That sounds HOT.'

She pictured Allison like that for a moment before she started to sob again. She needed to deal with the issue at hand.

"PLEASE! It is 'very personal' to Cameron. Please give her some dignity about it and some privacy." Vanna pleaded.

John was irritated again. What did Vanna know that he didn't and how did she know it? Who was she to Cameron over him?

"How do you know?" John asked somewhat sarcastically.

Vanna was tired of this abuse and 'accusation'. It was time to give John a dose of the truth and a reality check. None of this was her fault. It was ALL his fault. She was tired and fed up with men pushing her around - STILL.

"I rebuilt her shattered body." Vanna screamed. "The body YOU got all shot up and damaged. The Cameron you 'sacrificed' and abandoned. The shattered wreck you left behind. The Cameron you left for 'dead'."

John looked shocked and then felt a lot remorse over that. It was true. He'd 'destroyed' Cameron to get his mother out of jail. The image of her shattered lifeless form as he went into the future had forever haunted him. If he hadn't sacrificed Cameron in that act of stupidity, none of the events that followed would have happened. At least not happened the way they did. He was upset too that he'd been rude and mean to Vanna.

"I'm sorry, Vanna." John said. "I'm sorry for all that and what I said to you."

Vanna didn't want to hurt John but what she said was true.

"I'm sorry too, John." Vanna said. "Sometimes things just happen differently than we plan."

She knew her words were cruel but they reflected what happened.

Now John thought about what happened. It was out in the open again.

"NO! It's true. Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I HATE myself for that everyday?" John asked. "Everything 'bad' that has happened to her is because of my actions. I KNOW it."

John Henry wanted to defuse the situation if possible. It seemed impossible at this point. Emotions had been pushed too far. They were events that would not be forgotten soon by anyone. He did not like to see Vanna pushed like that or John as angry as he was. It was all over events that were done. They should all move on.

"Perhaps we should wait outside for a few minutes, John." John Henry said. "If it is a 'girl' thing I think Vanna and Cameron deserve some privacy. She wants to help but she needs to do it in her own way."

John looked at the inactive figure of Cameron.

"I don't like it." John said.

Vanna suspected he would like it even less if he saw what she expected to find. That was if it was even there or if this was really THEIR Cameron. She almost hoped it was not for fear of what she expected to see. She knew what she would see in Cameron's 'heart' if it was there. It was not going to be what it was when she saw it previously.

"All I ask for is two or three minute's time. Maybe less, PLEASE." Vanna said. "It's no big deal but it is a big deal to Cameron. All girls need a few secrets."

John Henry just wanted this over with.

"John, please." John Henry said.

He started to lead John outside.

John paused and looked at Vanna and the inactive form of Cameron.

"I'll be back." John said.

John and John Henry left.

Vanna disabled the security feed.

She took a scalpel out and made an incision near the inner base of Cameron's left breast.

'Oh no'. Was all Vanna said to herself.

Worse Than Dead

To no one at all
Do I feel superior
To everyone there is
I only feel inferior

How do you know love
How do you tell
Is there an answer
My mind on this I dwell

I want to give
I want to receive
There has to be
This I truly believe

Too many have hurt you
Too many have used
Your mind is clouded
Your heart is bruised

I am on the outside
Always looking in
I believe in the feelings
That come from within

I do not love myself
I do not like myself at all
I just despise and hate myself
I always have waited the call

In a world without love
There is no reason to live
For you are worse than dead
If you have no one with which to give

Nobody