Chapter 1: Getting Ready for Adventure!
"Kagome! Where's my fucking chicken pot pie!" Inuyasha screamed from the couch in the living room as he lovingly scratched his man pouch. Kagome was of course naked- as she was forced to be when cooking food for Inuyasha. Inuyasha does not eat food that wasn't cooked by a naked woman. After an anal discharge, he waddled his way into the kitchen angrily. It had been a while since his heyday when he was racing across feudal Japan killing mad demons and banging 12 furry chicks a night (or trees with holes in them). He now sported a healthy beer belly with a small congregation of potato chip crumbs resting on it. In one hand he had a beer, in the other he held a furry porno mag.
"Those waffles aren't gonna make themselves!" he yelled, spewing un-chewed potato chips across the kitchen.
"But I thought you wanted Chicken Pot Pie!" Kagome pleaded.
"Shut up bitch!" his hand came down knocking Kagome's naked body into the oven. "I don't want to hear anymore of your whining!" he spit more potato chips at Kagome and threw his half empty beer bottle at her head.
"I'm sorry Iny baby," she was crying now, a bump formed from where the bottle struck her.
"I said SHUT UP!" Inuyasha slammed his fist into the doorframe and his pants fell down as he did. "Now I'm gonna start jerkin' it and if those waffles aren't ready when I'm done- I don't know WHAT I'm gonna do!" Inuyasha didn't waste any time in servicing his account right there in the doorway, half looking at Kagome and half looking at the magazine.
Weeping and injured, Kagome slowly pulled the waffle iron from the cupboard. As she started pulling the ingredients together, Inuyasha got bored of the porno and threw it on the ground.
'Bend over bitch, daddy's got a use for you!" He waddled over, his blubber swashing from left to right with each step. He punched Kagome in the back of the head, knocking her to the floor and began engaging in what most countries refer to as doggie-style bestiality. With each thrust, he lurched Kagome forward slamming her head into the oven which now had burnt and flaming chicken pot pies in it. Before long, he had slammed Kagome's head through the over door into the chicken inferno. Kagome's hair caught fire and she began to scream.
Luckily for her, Inuyasha was finished. Kagome ran around the kitchen screaming, trying to put the fire out in her hair.
"Idiot woman, stop running!" Inuyasha hollered. He grabbed a rolling pin and started beating Kagome's head until she was knocked unconscious. "Here, this should be refreshing," He put out the fire in Kagome's hair with a pee stream. "Ah, that beer goes right through ya, doesn't it?" He said to himself with a refreshed tone.
Inuyasha pulled up his pants and started back into the living room.
"I'm goin out you stupid hussy waffle making skank whore," He grabbed his old sword resting next to the TV and dragged it towards the front door. "I WANT MY FOOD READY WHEN I COME BACK THIS TIME!" He screamed as he slammed the door behind him.