Disclaimer: Some dream of flying, but not me. I would be much happier as a mustang than I would be growing wings.

Shoutouts! Where did I… there's my list! Okay, it looks like everyone left a link, so I'll get back to you when I can. In between my other stories. Anyway, the show must go on!

I flipped through half the book before I realized that it was divided into sections. This saved me a full ten minutes. I just looked under the section earmarked "romance". Hmm. I never thought that there were so many spells for making someone fall in love with you. Unfortunately, I want one that will decide which, if any, of the nutcases downstairs is the one that I should be interested in.

After another five minutes of going back and forth, I decided on a spell that said it would play out in a series of scenerios to determine which of two suitors is "your true love." I almost feel sorry for poor Todd. He won't stand much of a chance.

"Okay, let's see. If they want a fight; a fight they shall have. Give my true love the strength to win this match." I recited. At first, I didn't think anything happened. Until I heard Lance screaming from downstairs. As all the possibilities run through my mind, I walk to the staircase in time to see Toad and Pyro dueling in the entry way. Yes, I said dueling. They had the fencing getups on and everything.

"What do you two idiots think you're doing?" I shouted as I walked down.

"My lady!" Toad said in between jabs. "We are locked in a fight for your honor!"

"Oh brother." Lance groaned. I feel your pain, buddy.

"I don't care what you're fighting over, put those swords down!" I yelled.

"Not until this infidel surrenders!" Pyro shouted.

This is going to be a very long day.

Now they're in the living room fighting on the furniture. Good grief, I didn't think that spell would do this.

The two of them finally fenced their way outside, onto the front lawn. The rest of us ran out to see what was happening, and by the time we got there, they had changed clothes. Now they were dressed like boxers.

"Will you knuckleheads just calm down and come back in the house?" Lance asked.

"Not until we finish this!" Toad growled. I gotta admit, for a little frog, he's got a good drop kick. But then John grabbed his legs so he couldn't do anything. Then John started beating him up.

I went back inside to consult the book, again. This isn't quite what I planned. I walked right past my brother as I grumbled different things under my breath.

"You tried to fix this with magic, didn't you?" He asked.

"Shut up." I hissed. The ability to give life-sucking glares of death are a natural talent, and one I am not about to waste.

"Fine." He backed away.

It worked.

"But if this spell of yours ends up with us one of those loons to the hospital, It's on your head." He finished. I gave him a nice wave as I walked away.

With my middle finger.

After digging through my spellbook and scouring the original spell, I discovered that the only way to end it was to let it play out. Which would be great if the two boys weren't having a ninja showdown in front of the whole neighborhood. Somehow, I don't think Mystique would have approved. Especially since they're practicing their hedge-trimming skills on her pretty bushes.

Oh shit! I forgot all about her! If she comes back to find this mess, I'll be the one in trouble, for once, instead of the guys.

But I'm getting way to worked up about this. The last time we saw her, she was in Egypt. But that's never stopped her before, at least according to Lance. Why do I think I've just carved my own tombstone?

That's when I heard the crash under my window. John just threw Todd into the tree. Now Todd is getting up and trying to stab through John's armor.

I may have sealed their fates too. Oh, boy! I think I need to have a talk with one of Mystique's friends. Now what did she do with that address book…