Chapter 4: An Old Demon's Revenge
"Bleeaaarrrgghh!!!" Wheezed Inuyasha heavily. His explosive diarrhea had returned in top form, and as he sat there, atop a magical well in his basement, grunting was the only manly thing he could do to control his fecal foe. "Gggoooooooaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!! Uuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!"
After about 19 or 20 minutes of groaning, screaming, grunting and squeezing his eyes shut, Inuyasha had decided enough is enough. "If Kagome's not gonna stop being unconscious to soak up some of my precious ass butter," thought Inuyasha, "then I'm wasting this stuff!!". Then a thought occurred to him: "'Wasting this stuff' eh? I should start charging her for the pleasure of getting shat on by me!!"
Inuyasha smiled at his brilliant idea, but then reality shot back. Inuyasha had fallen through his bedroom floor into his basement, and had flopped over to a magical well therein. Covered in shit, vomit and piss ("Like a REAL man", thought Inuyasha), he had now wasted several minutes at the whim of his uncontrollable bowels. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!" Inuyasha roared. His hamburger fists balled up and he began furiously pounding at his massive gut, which rippled like a swimming pool across his body with every blow.
"Ugh; not a good idea", said Inuyasha after 4 seconds of punching - he struggled to pull his fists out of the bean-bag chair that had once been his pecs. "Maybe you'll come in handy, Tootsie Pop", he said as he retrieved his sword from the floor next to the well. Several dozen flies began to buzz about when Inuyasha disturbed their resting place; several more died upon flying too close to Inuyasha and catching a wiff of the 700 pound pissy, vomity, crapping machine.
Suddenly, a high-pitched laugh was heard. It echoed about Inuyasha's basement like a ping pong ball. "Heeeeeeeeeeeheeheeheeheehee!!"
Inuyasha whipped his head about looking for the source of the sound in his dark basement - he heard a soft 'snap' when he did so. "Ow, another bone - well, I don't need a neck if it's gonna be too pussy to support my 80 pound head! What do you think I am, neck - a fucking hippie!?!" cried Inuyasha. For good measure, he punched himself in the throat to show his neck who was boss.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" inquired the mysterious intruder.
"Oh right, I forgot there was a faggot down here somewhere..." mumbled Inuyasha to himself. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM!" he roared.
"Your downstairs bathroom!?!" Shot back the voice. Suddenly, a demonic burrito leapt out of the shadows and onto Inuyasha's 6-foot wide stomach. One eye was bigger than the other, and both were glowing red. An unidentifiable kind of meat was constantly dripping down between it's legs, looking all the more like it was crapping on Inuyasha's body as it spoke to him. It pointed an evil looking finger at the half-breed. "Look Inuyasha; just because you crap in it doesn't make it a bathroom!"
"Who the fuck...?" Inuyasha inquired. He looked at his magic sword...
"I am Sharokamon; the demon burrito! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeheeheehee!" squeeled the burrito, throwing its head back in a fit of maniacal laughter. "You created me when you used to come down here to hide from Kagome. You ate my friends while beating it to those furry pornos in the corner, but left me behind when you heard Kagome coming down. Now it's time to avenge my friends, Inuyasha! And by the way, you weren't grabbing your dick back then Inuyasha; it was just one of your stomach rolls; you probably couldn't see it because it was hidden beneath an even bigger one!"
Suddenly, two waves of fat came roaring at the burrito, crushing Sharokamon like a slice of cheese getting crushed in between two slices of bread in a sandwich.
"I guess you just got crushed by my dick then, fag!" Inuyasha prided himself on the enormous amount of control he had over his fat - in fact, it was probably the only thing keeping his man-tits from crushing his heart and killing him in his old age. "Oh, that reminds me; START BACK UP YOU LAZY SONOFABITCH!" he roared before punching himself in the chest. He listened intently for 12 seconds, "Ahh, another heartbeat. Take that, Grim Reaper! You pussy!"
POP! Shing, shing!
"What the fuck now?" yelled Inuyasha. He was quickly answered as he looked around. The stones that made up the well couldn't take the enormous of strain of holding up Inuyasha anymore, and had begun shooting out widely from under Inuyasha. With a loud "SMOP!" the greater part of the well exploded out from under him, and Inuyasha found his fat ass falling into the mysterious magical well, wondering where he would end up on his adventures next.
"I hope I don't land in my shit." thought Inuyasha as he tumbled through space and time.