Chapter 5: A Magical Ride
Spinning through darkness, Inuyasha's gelatinous mass fell deeper and deeper into the depths of the seemingly endless well.
"God- OW- Damn- OW- Mother- OW- Fucking- OW- Shitty- OW- Burrito!" With every spin his body made, Inuyasha's head slammed into the stony side of the well, cracking apart his skull and sending sprays of blood every where. Each blow was degrading his face as well- damaging his eyes, breaking his nose, knocking out his teeth.
Due to his outrageous fatness, Inuyasha fell much faster than his diarrhea, and he eventually caught up to it.
"No- OW- Not- OW- Again!" He splashed through a wall of liquid poop and continued his painful trip down the well. Now of course these magic wells have the power to transport a person to any point in space and time. But none of this occurred to the massive shitting, pissing, vomiting mess that was the former demon hunter- even as he made it to the bottom.
Inuyasha reached the end in an upside down position and found himself stuck. The bottom half of his pant-less body was still in the well, while his top half was on the outside. And what Inuyasha saw he could not believe-
Space- he couldn't see a single star- just empty black space in every direction. What he was seeing was perhaps the most amazing sight any living being could ever hope to see.
The magical well had brought him to the center of the universe at the very beginning of time. Had Inuyasha known this, his reaction might have been different.
"What the fuck is this shit? There's nothing here- this is stupid! Where the fuck am I- King Kong's gaping asshole? This is the gayest thing I've ever seen since House of Carters- GYYEEAAAH!-" Just at that moment, the falling diarrhea caught up with Inuyasha and funneled towards his open anus. After falling all that distance- the diarrhea was now traveling at the speed of a bullet. All the shit poured back into his rectum and up through into his body. Inuyasha made a face as if a giant crap just funneled back into his asshole and he was about to explode.
"Tom Cruise please save me-" The resulting explosion in Inuyasha's anus was the biggest explosion in the history of everything. In fact many scientists have referred to it as The Big Bang. All the matter that ever and will exist was shot into every direction of the universe and Inuyasha was sent spinning at a million miles an hour screaming obscenities about Nick Carter the whole way.
"AAAAAAAAGGGH! United they stand! Bah- what does that even mean- AAAAAAAAGHHH! You're a bunch of retarded brothers and sisters! AAAAAAAAAGH! Hansen at least played instruments- AAAAAAAAAAGH! All you people do is bitch and cry at each other, and no one gives a shit about your pathetic life goddamnit! AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHAAAARRGHGHHAGAHREGH!"
Time began. Matter continued to expand and form galaxies. The universe as we know it began. And Inuyasha's asshole was now a gaping, bleeding crater dripping with crap. His face was a battered and bleeding mess from slamming into the well so much. He still couldn't see his dick- and despite that it's something no one has seen in years- save Sharokamon, the demon burrito, it still pissed off Inuyasha.
Finally, he got bored of screaming and ranting about MTV's newest worst show ever. He looked around and assessed his current situation and realized it was increasingly lame. He was just flying through the universe- no porn, no beer, no chicken pot pie, no naked Kagome. There was nothing at all- not even basic cable.
"Nope," he said. "This is even gayer than House of Carters."