Disclaimer: "It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races." --Mark Twain

Well, the votes are all in. Verdict it Todd/Wanda: 3; John/Wanda: 2. Sorry for you Jonda shippers, but the majority wins by a nose. Now, On with the story!

"Oh, right. The spell." I winced. "Well, the two idiots have been driving me nuts for months, but today, I—I just snapped. I told them off, and then went up to look through the spellbook to see if there was anything that could settle the debate once and for all."

"I see." Mystique said. "What made you cast the spell in the first place?"

"Well, it looked cool…"

"No, no, no." She corrected. "I mean emotionally, why was today different? What happened?"

But I don't want to sound like an nut! Didn't I mention that this would be embarrassing?

"Toad went with me to the store to pick up some things." I started. "John and my brother were out all night acting like assholes and I didn't know what had happened to them until we got back and they were in the kitchen. When I got in, I heard John yelling at Todd, accusing him of kidnapping me. Toad protested, and John made some remark, but I'd had it."

"Why?" Mystique asked again. Geez, this is getting annoying.

"The little wart got into the cleaning supplies last night." I said. "Of course, this was after I'd gone to sleep, but he was still weak this morning. He'd been feeling bad, but he still wanted to help. John didn't even have the decency to call! I guess I was just tired of being treated like some trophy and wanted some answers." I sighed and looked from the table back up to her. "Does that make me crazy?"

Then she did something I didn't quite expect. She smiled! I was expecting a "you're a nut" and to be laughed at. Well, she was laughing, but it didn't sound like she was mad. I think she found this whole thing amusing.

"No." She shook her head. "No, you are not crazy. You are using your common sense. But why use magic?"

"I thought it would fix it." I said. "But it only made it worse. Now everyone's mad and the spell didn't even work!"

"I wouldn't be so sure." She smirked.

I have the sudden urge to wipe that know-it-all look right off of her face.

"But they almost got squished!" I protested. "It just reached it's time limit and stopped!"

"After you dove to save Tolensky." Mystique pointed out.

The wicked witch has a point. Damn!

"He was closer!" I defended.

"Are you sure that's why you saved him?" She asked.

This is where things really get tough. I have to look at my own mind (what's left of it) and pick out reasons why and why not. The obvious not's are that he was closer and was about to get stabbed. But why would I care about that? He's just an annoying runt! He's done nothing but pester me and dance all over my last nerve since we met! But so has Pyro. Pyro has gone as far as to try to roast me before. Toad never did. He even saved me from Magneto. He was there after Father was presumed dead; he stayed with us and gave me some space. Not a lot, but some. John stayed on base and watched the footage of Father dying. Never even bothered to see if we were okay.

Holy Shit! Does this mean that I like Toad? No, It can't be. I can't have fallen for him!

Wait. She knows this. She's known the whole time! Ooh, ooh, ooh! I am so gonna burn her wardrobe after this!

"I guess it was because he's been there." I finally said. "He stayed around and made sure I was okay, even though it wasn't the best method of doing so. John never gave me the time of day before my—Magneto sent him here."

"I see" She said. "I just have one more question."

I don't have a choice.

"Shoot." I said.

"Do you love him?" She asked.

Whoa. I'd never thought about that before. I know he's got to be in love with me, or he wouldn't keep trying. Especially after the tampon threat. John would have run for the hills. I guess I like him. Love.. Is a little strong.

"I don't know." I said. "I like him, I guess. But I don't know if 'love' is the right word."

"Then why keep breaking his heart?" She asked. "This may surprise you, but I found myself in a very similar situation when I was younger."

I thought as much. "Really? With who?"

"Sabertooth, and a friend that I'd been writing to for months." She answered. "He lived in Germany—we'd never met. Anyway, we'd been conversing back and forth when Victor asked me to marry him. To top the proposal, my admirer did the same."

I never thought that the boss's life was so much like 'Days of our Lives.' "What happened next?"

"I spent a week or so weighing my options." Mystique continued. "Victor was a lot of fun, but he'd never been especially reliable. In the end, I decided to meet my "pen pal" in person to accept his offer. The man that I di… the one I met when I arrived there wasn't the real man. I was outraged, and returned to the states."

"So he conned you?" I blinked. This is getting good. I didn't know that anyone besides Xavier ever one-upped her.

"In more ways than one." She said. "His name was Count Alfred Wagner."

Hot damn, this is more screwy than I thought.

"Kurt's father?" I asked warily, not wanting to be wrong. "The blue elf's father was a Count?"

"An impersonator of one, but close." She said. "When I first returned, Victor and I fought and went our separate ways. We've salvaged part of our friendship, but I doubt if it will ever be what it once was."

Ah, and what was the point to all this? "That's insane." I said. "Have you ever thought of writing an autobiography?"

"No." She said. "Wanda, I wanted you to learn something."

"I did." I said. "Never sleep with your pen pals."

"Besides that!" She scolded. I did earn it, though. "I wanted you to think about the consequences of your actions. Use your heart when making these decisions, not your head. You'll be much better off."

Okay, now it sounds like a bad romance novel. "I will." I said, and then got up and walked out. This is entirely too much mushy stuff for one day!