Chapter 6: Adventurous Travels

(Subtitle: Punching Bag! Inuyasha advises a friend )

For several days Inuyasha tumbled through the universe, fresh from creation. As he went about on his cosmic journey, planets were created every time he shat, and from his gas were the stars. Indeed, the longer Inuyasha flew, the larger the universe got. It was expanding at a rate higher than any god could keep up with.

As universal law dictates, and large solid mass with water must eventually produce life, and Inuyasha became a small planet. Though the civilization growing in his belly button did little to attract the attention of their "God" for the time they were cultivating. For thousands of tiny millennia (about 4 hours in Iny's time) did this little culture exist - nay, thrive - hidden under the safety of Inuyasha's stomach rolls.

"What the fuck is that itch!" complained Inuyasha. "I hope it's not like the rash on my asshole from shitting so much without wiping. That green one. Christ - that feels like a monkey is crawling out of my anus by chewing his way out...A monkey with horrible teeth...one where whenever he opens his lips and it's like a booby trap...I don't like it when monkeys open their mouth and it's an battle of epic proportions going on."

Inuyasha giggled. "That Dane Cook is a silly bitch"

Suddenly, Inuyasha heard a weird little sound coming from his stomach. "I know I haven't eaten anything in a while, but when my stomach gurgles it makes more of a dump-truckish noise, not a pussy giggling noise." With a wheeze and a grunt, then a "I got tired and gave up for awhile" short nap, Inuyasha woke up and lifted up his stomach rolls to take a look at his hardly-seen belly button.

"OH...MY... (BURP) GOD..."

Inuyasha was witness to an entire civilization for the first time. Buildings, fields, crops, peoples, animals - a whole world had begun growing in Inuyasha's belly button (and indeed, had begun spreading out). "Holy flippity fuck - that's gotta be the worst rash I've ever gotten!" yelled Inuyasha in disgust. Even worse than the "purple rectum menace" of '03!"

He struggled to lift his arm, initially intent on scraping the shit off. When lifting his arm up gave him a heart attack, Inuyasha figured "Fuck it".

Keep in mind that Iny is currently in a weightless environment. Oh, and for those of you wondering how he can breath in space, remember that large masses can support atmosphere, so Inuyasha has a constant supply of ozone around him at all times.

"Hey! Hey you bitches!" yelled Inuyasha. "None of you are demons, right? Otherwise, I have to slay you! But I'm tired so I don't wanna fucking have to, y'know, fuck up your shit."

A small dot began separating from the rest of Inuyasha's rashy civilization. As Inuyasha began focusing his gaze, he could make out a small humanoid creature...

"Can you hear me, master!" cried the dot.

"That's GOD to you, assholes. And of course I can fucking hear you - what else could possibly be grabbing my attention: the NOTHING ELSE going on?" replied Inuyasha.

"He can't hear you, idiot. He can only hear a REAL man - now speak louder to our God before you offend him again, queer!" yelled a second dot.

"Who the fuck was that number one?" asked Inuyasha, amused.

"My name is-"

"I don't care," replied Inuyasha.

"Yes God," replied number one. "And that vision of loveliness was my wife, Lau-ugh, number 2?"

"It was a fuckin' chick? Man, that bitch was right; you are a queer, uno," replied Inuyasha. He followed that up with a burp, which almost blew number one away.

"I''m sorry if I offend you-"

"Fuck yes you offend me," screamed Inuyasha. "You offend every man ever, queer-mo. Now listen up, here's how you handle this kind of abuse. Take me and Kagome for example; no one gave me a punching bag when I was growing up, so I figured I'd marry one instead." replied Inuyasha, smiling...

For days and days, Inuyasha floated through space, picking up speed with every fart he ripped. And the whole time, save for heart attacks and naps, he spoke to his number one, training him in the ways of manliness. Every night, Uno -as he had come to be known - went home and beat his wife, and demanded she make him pancakes, and shit on the floor and in the couch, and drink, and stop wearing pants, just as his God had instructed him. And lo, the teachings spread; men everywhere on Inuyasha's green rash had taken to manlying up their lives. The women had had enough after awhile, though, and had begun to plan a revolt against their God. When Inuyasha found out about this, he did the manliest thing any of them would ever see...ever.

"Well, can't have you bitches thinking or doing stuff besides making waffles", he said. And then, the mightiest burp the universe had ever known erupted from Inuyasha's throat. For six days and seven nights did it go on, taking as many lives as it could until all were lost. By the time Inuyasha had stopped, he had blown the entire rash off of his body.

"Guess I showed them bitches", he thought. "Fuck - what the hell am I gonna do now?"

After a few minutes of thinking, Inuyasha begun thinking about his furry porno mags and began to beat it again, spraying it all over space (there's a reason it's called the Milky Way folks). After 3 heart attacks however, he gave up on that, too, and just decided to nap.