Chapter 147

Aberration

Jesse took up rotational duties with Gail for the Young and Reese Details. This freed up another Terminator to be at the base. Gail and Jesse became an 'item'. They were inseparable. Jesse loved Gail and it appeared Gail really loved Jesse. They could give and return each others affections and satisfy each others desires.

Jesse felt for once she'd found a true shared relationship. To feel love returned to HER was very gratifying. She tried to give more than she received. The more she got the more she wanted. Gail was like a drug and she was addicted….

Gail was addicted to Jesse as well. Cameron spoke with her about it at the start of the 'adventure'. Cameron warned her there was a lot of give and take. It was easy to find something to argue over that didn't even really matter. The tiffs would usually lead to passionate love making in the end. Cameron wanted her to understand that it was all very confusing at times.

She wanted to know if Cameron ever wanted to 'terminate' John over the arguments. Cameron told her sometimes but you drive through the pain and find the love.

"Will I be 'good enough'?" Gail asked.

Cameron didn't tell Gail that she NEVER felt 'good enough' for John.

"I don't know." Cameron said. "I really don't."

That only seemed to be one of the many things that haunted Cameron.

Derek and Riley were still on and off when Riley and Holly were not together. Riley only ever tried to kiss Holly before. Holly said she was not ready for anything else yet. She specified that meant no kissing either.

Riley respected her wishes and they still shared a good time out together as friends. She saw how truly dynamic Metal could be. She always thought Holly might have her eye on someone else. They never talked about it. She thought she knew who it was and why.

Derek wanted to know what was going on with Riley. It might indicate where he stood.

"So what is with you and Holly?" Derek asked.

Riley wondered where this was going.

"We're friends." Riley said.

Derek was aware 'friends' could have a broad definition.

"Do you mean 'friends' like us?" Derek asked.

Riley did not think it was a big deal.

"No. There is no sex. I have only ever tried to kiss her a few times." Riley said. "She never kissed me back. She is not ready yet so we are just friends."

Derek wondered what that was like.

"Can I 'ask'?" Derek said.

"No." Riley said.

"OK, I'm sorry." Derek said.

Riley sat in silence for awhile.

"Derek, it is very different. It is more exciting than with another female." Riley said. "Being close to Metal is exhilarating. They are so different. They're so innocent about things sometimes and other times they know so much about other things."

Derek wondered what the goal was.

"Do you keep 'trying' because you think she will be better in bed?" Derek asked. "I mean better than Jesse?"

"Derek!" Riley said slightly upset.

Riley started to leave. She looked back at Derek.

"I think it would be more exciting than Jesse and more exciting than you. I can feel an 'intensity' just waiting to be unleashed." Riley said with a wink. "I hope one day we can complete our destiny. I WANT her…."

Riley really knew she wanted Cameron but that was impossible on so many levels. Holly would have to serve as a substitute. It would be better than nothing. She really wanted to be with a Metal female. Jesse told her it was out of this world. Now she wanted to find out for herself.

John became distraught since Cameron wanted to 'divorce' him. Cameron still wore her wedding ring when she was not on a mission. He just could not understand it. He knew what Cameron was thinking with her 'divorce' decree. It would allow him to pursue the girls as a 'free man' and not be 'tied' to one person. He would be single and unmarried. Were they even really married? How do you marry a machine? No, really, how do you marry something that is not another human?

He pondered what Cameron 'pushed' on him. It seemed like the only thing that Cameron WANTED, was for him to start a physical relationship with Allison and Vanna. Cameron WANTED him to replace her with them. He was sure that once that occurred, Cameron would be gone or terminated. She would be 'free' after having restored the 'timeline' that she was obsessed with. She was on some unseen timetable that seemed to only exist within the confines of her own head. It was some surreal 'Natural Order' that she believed in.

John tried to explain to her that the correct timeline was Savannah and Young Allison, WHEN THEY GREW UP, in the future still.

Cameron said she could not wait that long.

'WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?' John thought.

Cameron suggested that if it is what he wanted, that she could take Allison, Vanna and him into the future, after she assigned four Terminators each to Savannah and Young Allison. Cameron assured him that they would remain 'untouched' for him as they grew and matured.

"That would just be like Allison and Vanna again as they are NOW. Then there would be two of each of them at similar ages. there would be an 'extra one' of each of them with Metal body guards." John said.

He did not know that to have some 'replacements' was what Cameron wanted. Redundancy would assure that he was 'protected'.

"Then accept what is your destiny - NOW." Cameron said.

John could not understand Cameron's obsession. There was something she must not be 'saying' that only she knew. He wondered if even she knew what it was. Whatever it was, it was nothing good.

Savannah worked very hard on her studies and training. She worked with Cameron whenever she could. Often Cameron seemed upset or frustrated. Once they started to interact, Cameron seemed to 'fix' herself. It was something they both noticed and could see. Their interaction with each other became something very special to both of them.

She loved Cameron dearly and all but worshiped her. Maybe it was because they both felt 'all alone' even though they were surrounded by others. There was a common bond there. Both of them had everything they knew and were familiar with 'taken' away from them. It was done in different ways for different reasons but the end result was the same.

Cameron always would make sure that she remembered her 'special training' and her 'special purpose'.

Savannah made sure she did not disappoint Cameron and renewed her 'promises' to her. She did not understand the full impact of what her promises would entail when she'd first made them but she did now. They were very clear to her. It was her mission in life to be part of the Resistance. Her service to the Resistance would not only be in combat but it would also be in personal administrative matters for make things run smoothly and keep John on track.

Vanna was overprotective of her whenever they went out. It was something she never understood. It almost made the 'fun' things less fun because of a level of 'fear' that seemed to radiate from the surroundings. It was something that was unseen but somehow it was still there.

It was Sarah that tried to help her do fun things and 'girl' things. Sarah made sure her training and studies were not too intense and that there was always time to do other things from play, watch a movie, read a book, listen to music, learn to play music and see the beauty in nature. They all seemed like things Sarah felt she'd lost and that John never adequately learned.

Savannah did not know that Sarah tried to prevent Cameron from making her into a 'human Terminator'. The main thing Sarah tried to prevent was Cameron putting her in John's arms sooner than was absolutely necessary. To Sarah that was 'never'.

Sarah was in the armory with Kyle. They practiced marksmanship.

Kyle was aware that Sarah had seen her share of action. It was very different from the action he'd seen and fought in growing up. The fact he needed to grow up in a Skynet future was a living Hell in itself.

"I understand that practice is necessary but it is all different when you are on the battlefield." Kyle said. "I know we fight battles here fairly often but they are not the same as being on the battlefield."

Sarah wondered if Kyle thought she was 'soft'.

"I can understand that." Sarah said. "When you are in a war zone it is always there and around you. It is something you can see."

Kyle hoped he had not 'insulted' Sarah.

"I know there are times here where it is as intense." Kyle said.

Sarah wanted to comment a little more to make her position clear.

"It is one thing to know where your enemy is and who your enemy is." Sarah said. "It is a different story when you never know where your enemy is or even who they are until they strike."

Sarah reflected on her encounters with Terminators who were after John and her. They seemed to come without warning. It was Future Kyle that was there for her and saved her from a threat she did not comprehend. She thought he was 'crazy' at first. She found out when you try and tell people the truth that they do not believe you and think YOU are crazy. They simply can't comprehend it until they see it for themselves. How do you fight a war like that?

Kyle was afraid he'd said too much and it was all being 'taken' wrong.

"This whole mess has its ups and downs." Kyle said. "It does make things confusing when everything is backwards and upside down."

Kyle came over to Sarah and placed his hand on her belly.

"I think I am trying to say that I worry about the future for our child, our second child as well as our first child." Kyle said. "I need to make sure they have a better future."

Sarah was a little more resigned to it all.

"I just want them to have a future." Sarah said. "We don't know what is going to happen."

Now they were both somewhat depressed. They cleaned their weapons and stowed everything away.

They looked at each other and better understood Jesse in that moment. They hurried back to their room and quickly 'lost' themselves in each others arms. Every moment counted because there might not be a tomorrow.

Cameron was going over every fragment of data on her chip. The more she looked the more traces she found of additional temporal transfers. There were dozens of traces. There was erased data that appeared multiple times in the exact same way, seemingly decades apart but somehow at the same time.

Cameron was afraid she was reliving her life over and over again. If that was true how many times did she already do it? Why? Who was behind it? Was she? Was this corrupted data? Everything was becoming too much for her anymore.

She knew she loved John. She was aware that her being with John, any John, altered the 'Natural Order'. When she was in the future, she wanted to stay with Future John. She observed that as long as she was with him that his life stopped moving forward. She felt it was the same way for Past John, HER John.

When Cameron went back to her future to fix the termination of Future Allison, she was sure that she could have stayed with Future John and Future Allison. They both would have accepted her. She did not know if their relationship would become sexual or not, it did not matter. Either way she could have stayed with them but her being there disrupted that timeline. She instead returned to HER John. That was her mission after all.

Now Cameron was able to see John would not advance his relationship to its proper place with Allison and Vanna because she was there disrupting what should be. She tried so hard to fix this. As long as she remained here, married to John, he would never accept his destiny. John would not move his life forward. She realized she was 'dead weight'. She felt like a dragging anchor.

Cameron decided she needed to be terminated for John to move on to his proper place in Time. It seemed clear to her that she must correct the aberration and cancer of her existence. She'd finally accepted she was 'not good enough' for John and those around her. She would choose termination in combat. Her termination in combat could be accepted by all. It was the only way they would all move forward. She decided this was her new mission in life - death.

For some reason the song: 'The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald' by 'Gordon Lightfoot', echoed in her mind.

Cameron felt - doomed.

Aberration

Everyone can feel but not identically
The same touch can have a different sensation
Is that considered normal
Or is it some type of aberration

Even if everyone is the same
They are still different in many ways
We should try not to admonish
Instead we should render praise

Is not what makes one unique
The very thing that make one special
It seems many get lost
In what is only superficial

To be who one really is
Is what should be recognized
They should not be signaled out
Then ridiculed and chastised

It does not take a machine
To make a computation
That different but the same
Is not some type of aberration

Nobody