Author's Notes: Wow, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Well, considering I had a little internet crisis and then I looked over this chapter about three times trying to figure out if it was good enough...I must've rewritten sections two to three times... Agh, I still don't like it too much, but I figure it's as good as it's going to get... Thanks for hanging in there, guys. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and it is appropriately named "flashbacks" because we're going to get into the past now...everything in italics concerns the past... I hope you all enjoy it! Please don't forget to review and tell me how I'm doing!

I also apologize if the chapter is a little choppy...

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me.

Notes To Readers:

To Lara: Hehe, thanks so much for waiting this long! Sorry for the long wait... And thanks for all the reviews! Haha. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and please keep reading!

To Crewel: Thanks so much! Yeah, I'm trying really hard to keep this fic informative...it's really hard dealing with the details because it's hard to know for sure what had happened without actually being there. Yeah, you don't really learn much about Chinese/Japanese/Korean history much in school, which is a bummer...most of the stuff I have here is from hours of internet research. But it's all interesting! (Or at least, I think). Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you'll enjoy future chapters! I swear it's going to get better!

To Mirune Keishiko: Haha, Sano's past is coming riiight up. And the Opium War? Haha, I certainly think that this fic is just going to get better... (hopefully...) Please keep reading, because I'm nowhere near done!

To Everyone Else (haha, again, no one specific, just generally everyone else): Thank you so much for the reviews and please please please keep reading and reviewing!

chap. 6 - flashbacks

Sano slowly lifted his head from his hands, and offered Megumi a small, weak smile. He sighed, and gazed at some faraway place before snapping back to reality, standing up to find Megumi staring back at him.

His voice returned to its usual clear, crisp tone. "You can sleep in my tent again. It's late, and I don't think you'd want to walk home when it's this dark out."

She swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded.

Sano walked to the edge of the tent, and lifted the flap halfway up, before pausing and turning his head to face her. His expression was grim, and his lips were a tight line drawn taut about his face as flickering firelight illuminated half of his countenance. His bangs fell into his black-brown eyes; his voice was hollow,

"Don't think just because you're getting all this hospitality that I forgive you for what you've done."

Shadows grew and shrank as an empty wind followed the tent flap back into place.

His shadow followed him where ever he went, and he was contented with that. At least I'll always have my shadow, he thought, perhaps too optimistically. It was a sad thought, but it had already been three days since he left the Aoiya and Kenshin and the others behind...it had been three days, three nights, and already, his former life in Tokyo was now a dream... He couldn't go back.

Megumi wouldn't want him back. She would hate him for leaving, then coming back; by turning back now, he was practically on his knees begging for her to accept him again.

No, he would not go back.

He would go to China, perhaps Canton. The mere thought of such a place sent shivers of excitement down his spine, and he forced himself to push away the memories of Japan. He had to leave them behind. He had left for good reasons.

He reached a fork in the path, and contemplated which way to go. In all his hurry, he had not stopped once to ask for directions, or maybe even purchase a map. There wasn't even a sign to indicate which way would suit him best.

Sano sighed. He would just have to go by instinct.

And for the next five years, Sano thrived on instinct, living by whatever he felt necessary, believing that he did not have to reach China in any hurry. Of course, the thought of the police chasing after his so called "criminal" record was enough to wake him up in the dead of night, his skin covered in cold sweat and his heart beating at an alarmingly rapid rate -- at those times, he could almost hear the guns attempting to break down a door to get to him...sometimes it took minutes for him to realize that it was a dream.

Life was a dream.

He just took boat after boat, knowing eventually he'd make it to Canton. He had this crazy idea -- that the one place where he belonged was there, Canton. Sometimes he ran into fights, often he ran into a money problem, but he managed to find his way around. He treaded his way through China -- through Beijing, through Shanghai...and finally making his way into Canton.

The usual bustle of the city made his heart jump again, as it recently so often seemed to do. Smokestacks piled out of Westernized buildings, and the ashy smoke curled into the blue-grey sky. Buildings built with curved roofs Sanosuke could easily identify as those of Chinese ancestry. Tongues of every language fluttered about, melting into one giant exhilarating noise that swept over him in a tremendous wave. He inhaled and felt the scents of Canton rush into his mind, intoxicating every nerve in his body...

The thoughts of home and Megumi and Kenshin and his previous lifestyle had melted away. He rarely or never thought of his past, and there were times when he had to force himself to remember where he was from. This scared him, and it made him almost want to return home...to Japan...to Tokyo.

But with Canton looming over him like a giant prize, he had to grasp it.

This city, Canton, to him, was the heart of China. In just the first five minutes he knew that the city was full of Chinese culture. But at the same time, cultures from every ethnic background also blended in, fitting in as if it were natural. Russia, Britain, America...every part of the world had scrambled here, it seemed, to catch the fever that had seared across the continent, across the world.

He smiled...or rather, he came as close as he had ever had to a real smile. He had never really smiled since Japan.

But Japan and Megumi were as far away in his mind as ever, and their names never once reverberated across his mind.

Sanosuke shook his head, and frowned thoughtfully as he shook himself out of his memory. Reminiscing over lost thoughts, he knew, was no good. But yet, the old image of his first sight of Canton was something he was never going to forget. That day was inscribed in him, and he would take it to his grave.

He stared about him, and suddenly remembered again that he was not in his normal tent. He had fashioned a much smaller one, and set it up at the borders of their camp. It had none of the luxuries of his original tent, and it was nowhere near the size of it, but he could do nothing of it.

Megumi was staying in his tent for the time being.

Sano grimaced. When he first set eyes on her again, in Canton, in that opium den, a shock electrocuted his entire body. It was as if a bullet pierced his heart, and it took him seconds to remember how to breathe. It had taken him ten years to forget her, and less than ten seconds to remember.

On top of that, his first sight of her in ten years was her being raped...or rather, she would have been raped if he had not gotten there at the right time. If he had walked in seconds after he originally had, she would've --. Sano cut off the thought, shivering.

He laid back, his arms behind his head, staring at the canvas of his miniscule tent, the color black from the cloudy night. Questions swam in his head.

Did he still care for Megumi? He still did not know the answer to this. There were times when he still cared, and a pang of loneliness crashed upon him. And at other times, he detested her -- not only because of her opium dealing.

He laughed sadly. He was going nowhere with his thoughts. It kept leading him back to where he started, and it made him wonder why he even bothered to trouble himself with it at all.

And the truth finally hit him.

But not before his mind drifted away into a misty world of troubled thoughts and dreams.

Sunlight cracked over the horizon, peeping around corners and shadows to stream rays of exceptionally bright light onto the world, signaling the warm beginning of another day. Horses tethered to poles neighed restlessly, stamping their hooves in plain agitation. A breeze blew quietly, ruffling the steady sway of the flames that heated a small pot of boiling water.

Sanosuke lifted the pot from the fire, carefully pouring the bubbling water into a delicate, cracked, ceramic cup. Finished filling a second one, he walked to his tent, wordlessly pulling the flap back to enter. Ripples shot across the green tea, brimming within the warm ceramic that warmed his hands.

Megumi sat at the low table in his tent, brushing through her long, black hair with her fingers, the expression on her face detached and thoughtful. Still without speaking, he made his way to the table, setting down the cup before her, careful not to disturb her.

She did not acknowledge his presence, but merely drew her eyes back to gently pick up the cup, letting the liquid melt into her lips and warm her insides. She closed her eyes, thoughts swirling about in her head. Why was she still here? She had long out-welcomed her stay, and was sure that she should leave. Part of her still wanted to remain and see it out to the end; she wanted to see what Sanosuke was really thinking...where he had been and what had happened. But somehow, she had an instinct that told her that it was never going to happen. That the inevitable was going to come, and that she should have already left long ago.

It seemed that Sanosuke was reading her mind, or perhaps he grew frustrated by the silence. Whichever the case, he could not take it anymore and stood up abruptly, shattering Megumi's troubled thoughts. He turned around, and his back faced her with a mocking glare. "You should go, Megumi. Don't you have thinks to do?" Sano's voice was laced with a bitter tone, and he said "things" like a vile curse.
"Sanosuke..." she murmured softly, taken aback by his sudden change of heart. Honestly, she thought, where was all this coming from? He was like a saddened child, ambivalent and sporadic, unsure of his actions and unaware. Sano turned and looked her straight in the eye. She wished he wouldn't. "I --"

He glared at her, apparently concrete with his decision to throw her out. Somehow the rage that had always boiled in him had returned, and he couldn't stand it pounding in the back of his mind. Megumi paused before muttering sadly, "I -- I doubt there's anything that I can say that will set things right...I doubt there's a chance you'd be willing to listen...you know, to hear the entire truth. But...I guess I'll just leave."

She kept her expression straight, setting down the cup still half-filled with tea. She stood with as much grace and composure she could pull together, telling herself not to crack, moving towards the edge of the tent.

Her whispered words rang in his ears as it bounced off the cloth walls of the tent:

"I guess I came here for nothing."

Shadows grew and shrank at Sano's feet.

The sun sank red in the horizon. Clouds shrouded the sun's rays, and the beams fell in alternate patterns, reflecting through glassy windows. Megumi wandered about in such a setting; she never remembered the Aoiya being such a large place.

It was a sort of meandering, really, but she continuously called a name through the empty halls, never pausing once for breath. Her voice came strong and loud, but no one responded. It just echoed off of the wooden boards and hollow air.

"Miss Megumi?" A voice finally answered her call, and a red-headed man turned the corner to face Megumi. His eyes were a tired amethyst, but he smiled nonetheless.

"Ken-san!" she cried, "Have you seen Sano? I'm trying to find him, but he seems to have gotten lost...that stupid moron."

Kenshin's expression seemed to have changed all at once, he murmured a soft "oh," and he seemed to be fighting a frown.

"What's wrong Kenshin?" Megumi asked, aware of Kenshin's change of mood. "Nothing's happened to that rooster-head, has there?"

The red-head's lips formed a tight line across his face, and he seemed to be contemplating whether to tell her something.

"Kenshin! What's wrong?" Megumi questioned again, this time, with more force.

"Miss Megumi..." Kenshin started slowly.

"Just say it Kenshin!"

"Well...it seems that Sano is wanted as a criminal..."

Megumi's eyebrows quirked in confusion, "But he hasn't committed any crime...I mean, sure, he's a free-loader, but he can't have done anything serious. He isn't hiding out in a secret room in the Aoiya, is he?"

"No..."

"So where is he? I haven't seen him at all today."

"Miss Megumi...I don't really know how to tell you..." Kenshin's voice faded as he fought to attempt to explain to Megumi.

Her eyes grew wide as the truth hit her. Her mouth opened aghast as she suddenly realized what Kenshin was trying to say. And she was almost screaming the words as she whirled around, and began to frantically run through the halls of the Aoiya.

"Sanosuke! Sanosuke, where are you! Get out here right now!"

Kenshin bowed his head, and felt the pain that was ripping through Megumi.

"SANO!" Tears were now welling in her eyes. She didn't even try to fight the unstable emotions that were pulsing through her veins. She was quivering with anticipation; she half-expected Sano to burst through the halls, laughing and saying that it was all a big joke.

But somehow...Megumi knew.

Sano was gone.

But Megumi didn't admit that to herself, she just kept running through the Aoiya. Kaoru popped her head into the hallway, and asked what was wrong, but was too surprised to run after the frantic Megumi.

Megumi suddenly found herself face-to-face with Kenshin again, and he made no move to try to mask the pain that suddenly wrenched at her heart. He wasn't about to tell her fairy tales and sugar-coated dreams that would take the pain away. Too often he dealt with pain, and too often he was the one being consoled. But not this time.

She ran to him; she ran to the red-headed man and fell at his feet. She fell to her knees and hugged his ankles, burying her face into his white kimono. The white-hot tears dampened the cloth, chopped words leaving her smothered lips, "K-Kenshin...w-where'd he go...? A-and w-why?"

Kenshin made no motion to move from his position, and was hesitant to tell her where Sano may have gone, but the name of the place left his mouth nonetheless, "China."

Megumi sobbed harder, and her shoulders heaved violently as she continued to cry.

Kenshin's voice came ringing through her ears once again as he spoke,

"He said to tell you good-bye."

Sano snorted and moved to organize his possessions in his tent. The futon lay messy and unorganized, and he straightened and folded the covers neatly.

Suddenly, the tent flap whisked open and Sanosuke was about to turn around in anger, thinking it was Megumi. Instead, he saw one of his men standing there, a sad smile on his face.

"What do you want Hoji?" His voice came rougher than he would have wanted.

"Sorry Captain Sagara, but I saw that you let that woman go." Hoji's face was apologetic, and he laughed nervously as he put his hand behind his head. He ruffled his own chestnut-brown hair out of habit, scratching at his head.

"You're speaking out of your league there, Hoji."

"Sorry Sir...Permission to speak freely?"

Sano sighed, and waved his hand in a half-hearted "yes" as he turned his back to organize rolls of papers on his small desk.

Hoji's face lit up, "Come on Sir, it's about time you found yourself a woman. You've looked a little lonesome ever since you came here to China, and I danno...guess you looked at least half-alive with that woman around."

"And I suppose you're an expert with women?"

Hoji chose to avoid the question with one of his own, "Did you know that woman before now? She's part of your past, ain't she?"

The rustle of paper stopped as Sano paused.

"Well, don't let her get away, Captain. That's all I wanted to say."

Sanosuke stood up and began to turn around, "Hoji, you wouldn't know shit about --" He stopped as he saw Hoji had not heard a word he said, as he had already left.

"Megumi!" Sano's voice boomed through the camp as he followed the trail his men had set him upon. Her back finally came into view, and he yelled her name again, this time louder.

"MEGUMI, DAMN IT!"

She turned around, and Sanosuke forgot to breathe as old pain pounded against his chest -- tears were streaming down Megumi's cheeks.

Megumi had half a mind to turn around and keep walking, away from everything here in China. She had half a mind to return to Japan, to Tokyo. But her half a mind was overridden with the fact that Sano had called out to her. But she kept herself in check as she muttered bitterly,

"What? I thought you wanted me gone."

Sano stopped in front of her, and almost said "yes." Instead, he looked at her drenched cheeks and asked sadly,

"Did it hurt?" He needed to know.

More tears ran down her cheeks before she responded, confused, "Did what hurt? W-what are you talking about?" If he was trying to mock her, she decided, she wouldn't hear any of it.

"When you first found out that I left Japan without telling you. Did it hurt? Did I cause you pain?"

The words hung uncomfortably in the air, and Megumi pursed her lips.

Her answer came soft and fragile,

"Yes."

Sanosuke laughed apologetically, holding out his hand, "Then we're even."