Author's Notes: HOLY CRAP, I'm so sorry! What has it been, a month? I'm sorry! I usually do not take this long...but lately I've been having serious cases of writer's block and even if I wanted to write, I couldn't... Well, I hope this makes up for it, and I graciously thank everyone who's reviewed, they've definitely kept me up when I was down.

So surprisingly this ended up being a whopping eight pages and it took a whoppingfour times to get it down to where it is now. I still don't like it too much, but ehhh...screw it.

I wanna clear this up: Megumi WAS NOT raped...I just thought it got repetitive whenever I kept saying "attemptive rape." Haha, sorry for the misunderstanding, it was all completely my fault. Jeez, what was I thinking, confusing the readers.

Disclaimer: RK is not mine. Though this storyline is mine.

WARNING: ALRITEY! Things are going to get SOUR...this means a LEMON. This means SEX...so if you don't like it, don't read it! I don't want flames complaining about the content, because you HAVE BEEN WARNED. Enjoy.

Notes To Readers:

To Crewel: Thanks for those supportive e-mails. They really cheered me up when I couldn't write at all! Honestly. I hope I haven't let you down, and I hope you will continue to enjoy the fic. Thanks a lot!

To Lara: Again, thenumerous reviews were great appreciated. Thanks for hanging in, and I hopeI didn't make you wait too long. Every day that passed that I didn'tupdate I was like, "Uh oh, Lara's gonna kill me." haha...

Tomeg-chan: Of course I was waiting for that right moment. I hope thischapter makes up for that kiss scene you were waiting for. Hehe.

To Megumi: Thank you! I am so flattered! Please keep reading and please keep enjoying! I hope I don't let you down!

To sanodevil: Haha, no kiss. I was waiting for a more special occassion...

To roosterboy: I'm flattered that you think this fic's one of your favorite romances. Thanks a bunch. I hope I cleared up your confusion somewhere up there in my author's notes... I admit, it was my mistake. Well, I hope this chapter doesn't let you down.

To shysie: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!

To FairyMage: AGH, you were right! I went back and looked through the chapter again, and I told myself, "AGH, IKNEW there were mistakes!" But being the idiot I am, I guess I didn't comb through it well enough. Thanks for pointing that out, I always love readers that point out my mistakes. As for the eloquently/elogantly thing, microsoft word completely screwed me over w/ that. Stupid thing. Haha, but hot springs make me happy too.

chap. 8 - emotions

Captain Sagara felt his eyes tear open as he left the boundaries of his dream. He still felt a cold sweat on his brow, and he still felt his heart beating frightfully fast, but he took a moment to remind himself that even if his dream had happened, it was exactly just that now: a memory. Dark shadows encased him, and he sighed tiredly and slowly, desperate to calm his nerves and think it through.

On that day, he, in fact, had not been caught, but had only been brought in for questioning regarding the suspect the police were tailing. The criminal they had been searching for was coincidentally the British man that he had been sitting next to at the bar. He had been wanted for using opium, as well as minor trading. The last Sano had heard, the Britain was sitting in a dark, dank cage, waiting for his turn for death.

Sano considered himself extremely lucky that they did not question his own personal history.

He shuddered, and sat up quickly. Perhaps too quickly, for his head began to spin dizzily. Steadying himself, he got up, and crawled out of the small side-tent that he had been sleeping in for the past two nights.

Having decided where to go, he breathed in the fresh air of the night, surrounded by the faraway city lights that twinkled contrastingly against the blue-black of the sky. The night air was sweet and soft, and high above, a full moon lit a glow upon him, lighting his way. A breeze ruffled the trees' leaves, and made Sano quicken his footsteps as he headed down silent rows of tents to the one he formerly called his own.

The large flaps greeted him, almost looming over him as he paused, unsure of his decision and not certain of what he was doing. But regardless, Sanosuke sighed one last time before entering the caverns of his tent. He had never known the inner part of his tent was so big; he had always regarded it as relatively small, but now, the inside stretched out before him, expanding and revealing the desk, the futon, and the shelves that orderly stood to the side.

Immediately, the sleeping form of Megumi caught his eye; the unsteady rise and fall of her chest beneath the futon's covers signaled that she, in fact, was not asleep. She breathed a couple more times, perhaps to convince him that she was asleep, but this trick did not fool Sano as he continued to stand there.

Her head turned ever-so-slightly, and her eyes glinted in the moonlight that leaked in through the crack between the tent's flaps. Her voice came in a small whisper, husky and almost inaudible,

"What's wrong?"

He could have smiled, but didn't as he returned her question, "Nothing." He took a step further into his tent, "Just a bad dream."

Megumi remained lying down, and didn't move from her position, "A bad dream...or a bad memory?"

Sanosuke exhaled. How could she have guessed so quickly?

"Yeah...a bad memory, then."

"Want to talk about it?" Megumi finally moved, lifting her slender figure from under the covers. She was still dressed in her day kimono, now hanging loosely around her shoulders, having turned down Sano's offer of lending her some night clothes.

Sanosuke didn't reply immediately as he sat down a good two feet from Megumi, still perturbed from his dream...memory. He finally found a voice to reply,

"Not really."

She tilted her head slightly, "Then why'd you come down here?"

"I guess I was lonely."

Megumi smiled sadly, "I know how that feels."

Silence.

His voiced jarred their thoughts, "I'm sorry about earlier...I don't think I handled it too well when you asked why I left Japan..." His voice trailed, having lost the words he wanted to say.

She shook her head, "No...it's alright, I guess. You don't have to tell me."

"I will, though. Eventually."

She nodded.

Crickets chirped in the background.

Sano let out a small laugh, "Since when have we been on such nice terms? It's strange."

"That's one way to put it."

Sanosuke struggled to find the next words to say, "So...what made you want to come out all the way to China to look for me?"

Megumi turned her head and looked Sano straight in the eye, "Isn't that what you would've done?"

"Yeah...I probably would've gone even further if I didn't find you in China. I would've gone anywhere." Sano had no control over the words that left his mouth. The heavy night air surrounded him in a thick blanket, and seemed to intoxicate him, the drunken feeling setting in and allowing a sudden pang of loneliness to hit him, an empty feeling that seemed to take over as he sat there next to Megumi. Shivers ran down his spine, emotions running tremulous in his body.

"You probably would have done anything too..." Megumi whispered quietly, "Like me." A strained pain was laced with her voice.

It hurt him so much to see her sitting there, wracked with pain and thoughts and fears that he could not begin to fathom. His hatred towards her began to melt away, and in its place, he couldn't quite decide what he felt. At that moment, he was utterly and completely confused, lost like a child in a giant maze. But the thought of her hurting eased his steely conscience, and the strangest feeling of want shot up his spine.

He wasn't sure if he had moved, but when he became aware of it, he found himself closer to Megumi than he originally remembered.

"I guess there's nothing that can be done now," he said softly. The words poured sweetly out of his mouth without thought.

"Didn't you say you haven't forgiven me?" Megumi asked, her face muffled in the shadows, but her expression all-too-clear. She did not know what Sanosuke was thinking at that very moment, and was perturbed in the slightest bit at his change of heart, but he was so close...

"I don't know what I'm thinking..." he breathed, "I'm all mixed up inside."

His position shifted, and he felt the covers rustling beneath his fingers. Somehow his face was just inches from hers, her eyes glistening with either tears or moonlight...or both, Sano couldn't tell... He kept that distance, holding it there, a breath away from her face. His right hand reached up, and he traced the curves of her face with his fingers without touching her, almost teasingly the same distance away as his face. He gazed at her, not just with his eyes, but with all of his senses. He could hear his heart beat within his chest, and he was sure that if he paused for the slightest moment, he could hear hers.

Alas his fingers slowly came to rest upon her hair, lightly at first. He twirled the strands between his fingers, Megumi watching him curiously all the while. He gently turned her head towards his, and slowly, slowly, lightly: he brought his lips upon hers.

She was warm beneath his touch, and they held there for awhile, neither moving -- not their lips, not their bodies. His right hand moved from the side of her face to the back, settling above the crook of her neck. Breathing in her scent, he pulled her closer with his hand behind her head, pushing their lips even closer together.

Finally, life sparked between them. Sanosuke found himself wanting more as he deepened the kiss, leaning his weight slowly into it, drinking in every bit of her.

Almost hesitantly, they broke for air, and Megumi stared back at him with big, black eyes, wondering and certainly confused. But she cast aside those thoughts as easily they had come, and her swollen lips smiled as she led herself to him. Megumi dared not breathe, not wanting a moment to pass without her knowing it... Carefully, her lips smiled and parted beneath his, and admitted him to explore the caverns of her warm, smooth lips with his tongue.

She breathed him in, tasting the warm sake and strangely, sweet lychee, a fruit that Megumi never knew Sano cared to eat -- but nonetheless, it soothed and comforted her.

Slowly they pulled back, but quickly kissed again. Sano still had his right hand behind her head, and subconsciously, she could feel herself leaning backwards as Sano slowly guided her onto the futon, still kissing all the way. She found herself on her back...with Sano on top of her, propping his elbows up on either side of her, supporting his weight. She could feel the warmth from his skin emanating from his body, washing over her. Their kiss broke and he guided his lips towards the side of her ear, gently kissing the soft skin...his lean muscles rippled under his bare chest, and Megumi could not remember him ever taking off his gi...

She felt her face flush furiously, and in the back of her mind, she was grateful for the darkness of the tent. Her mind had shut down almost completely, and her body moved on its own accord. She could feel Sano's lips move teasingly from her ear back to her lips again, and she felt his warm skin brush against her.

She shuddered beneath him.

His lips moved from hers to her neck, lowering to kiss the crook between her shoulder and chin. She felt his weight on her, heavy, but not suffocating. She felt his soft, brown hair tickle her face and breathed steady, warm breaths. Involuntarily, her head arched backwards as he kissed her collarbone, gently nudging aside her kimono that held her delicate shoulders captive.

Lifting himself up slightly, he reached out with his hands, his nimble fingers at the knots of her kimono. The thick, dark threads loosened beneath his touch, slowly threading, becoming undone. One knot...then another...

Conscious of Sanosuke's fingers at her kimono, Megumi's mind suddenly focused. The drunken state of lust that she had been driven into dissolved in one quick moment, and terrifying images of a man tearing at her kimono flooded her mind's eye. The old pain at her shoulder pounded, as if reminding her, warning her. Her hand reached out to stop Sano's, forcing his hand away.

Abruptly, she sat straight up, sending a bewildered Sano tumbling to his side next to her.

"Please..." she whispered pleadingly, "Stop..." If possible, her face was flushed a deeper red. Pools of sadness and pain were washed, mingled, and present in her eyes, swirling in a glassy mist.

Sanosuke remained where he was -- lying on his side next to her. He gazed at her, and attempted to look into her eyes, but she would not look at his. He leaned forward, finding her gaze and locking it, "It's because of Hiroshi...isn't it?" Megumi flinched at the name of her attacker, and began to recoil, pushing herself backwards away from Sanosuke.

He propped himself up, and carefully moved towards Megumi. He balanced himself with his hands and leaned his head closer to Megumi's, his lips hovering delicately over hers. She froze, unsure of whether to move or not.

"Are you scared of me?" he whispered into her lips. She felt his lips sensually brush hers. Every nerve in her body set afire.

Sano still did not move, with the exception of his lips breathing words into hers, "You don't have to be...I'm not Hiroshi...I never will be him, and I swear I won't hurt you... I don't want you to run away from me again..." He stared into her fearful eyes, and soothingly, he leaned in as they kissed again. She was stiff beneath his lips, but his hands lifted to either side of her face, cupping her soft cheeks into his palms, and she hesitantly began to answer.

She lay onto her back once more, this time, of her own accord, and allowed Sano's fingers to slowly work with the knots again, Megumi's grip gently loosening all the way. Three more...two more...one... Her hand fell away...

The blue silk beneath slid easily between his fingers, and the smooth, fine cloth fell away as he unwrapped the kimono from her, teasingly unraveling her inner kimono slower than the first. The cloth lay beneath her and beside her, her body unwrapped like a delicacy. Puckered flesh greeted him as he relished the sight, feeling himself harden painfully...

He leaned in, enveloping himself in her warm, sweet aroma. To him, she smelled of spring, and the gardens filled with bright, blooming flowers. To him, she smelled of the fresh dew on the emerald tips of leaves. To him, he could only see her.

Goosebumps traveled down Megumi's arms and spine -- she breathed fast, and he let his lips lay on hers, whispering repeatedly, "Don't worry...I won't hurt you..." the feel of skin-on-skin sent shivers up his spine, and he slowly made his way downwards as he left a trail of wet kisses.

He hesitated over her bare breasts, and one of his fingers slowly reached up, pausing above the peak before gently allowing the tip of his finger to fall, feeling her hot skin beneath him.

He gently pulled up and leveled his face with hers. First he kissed each of her closed eyes, each of her cheeks, her lips, pausing longer there, and her neck. He lay on top of her, the curves of her body pushed against his white-hot skin.

He worked downwards, and finally, his lips found her sensitive nipple -- she gasped beneath him, surprised at the new sensation. She purred as he kissed at it, and used his wet tongue to madly curl about the peak, the nub hardening, contracting beneath his tongue. Using his teeth, he gently nipped at it, and heard Megumi gasp sharply. He lifted his lips and blew gently on it, kissing it lightly in apology. Megumi inhaled, moaning, almost squirming beneath him.

Gently, he unwrapped the rest of her kimono, revealing her delicate figure. Casting the cloth aside, something caught the corner of his eye, but he disregarded it as he turned his attention towards Megumi. She lay before him, unraveled and beautiful in his eyes. Her black, silk hair lay behind her head in a halo, framing her flushed face and cascading in waterfalls. By now his erection pounded painfully, and he struggled out of his clothes, tossing them to the side of the futon.

"You're beautiful," he murmured in awe, gazing lovingly at her exposed figure.

He lay on top of her, and they kissed. Nothing separated them now...the thin layers of cloth were gone...he traced her stomach with his callused fingers, teasing and playing with her, getting dangerously close...

She whimpered, eager, "Sano..."

He smiled playfully, his voice husky, "Now, now, don't get greedy, Fox..." He gazed down at her figure, controlling himself...there were so many things he wanted to do...so much pleasure he wanted to give her at once.

Slowly, he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek in his palm, gently caressing her smooth, white skin. Breathing small breaths, his hand left her face as he trailed down, his fingers finding every delve of her neck and every arc of her breasts. His hand dipped as he reached her stomach, and rose when he lingered over her thigh. He lovingly placed two wet, well-thought kisses on each of her upper legs, blowing gently afterwards. Megumi sighed shallow breaths as he did all this, making what she wanted clearly obvious...

He kissed her one more time, his moist tongue finding hers. He lifted his head towards her left ear, whispering the words, "I'll stop if it hurts...Just stop me..."

She nodded quickly, and moaned as he straddled her hips, gently nudging her legs apart. Brow furrowed in concentration, Sanosuke gently led himself into her...

Megumi let out a small gasp, biting her lips as tears formed in her eyes. He immediately pulled back as he whispered in a scared voice, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'll stop..."

"No..." Megumi's reaction surprised him as she pulled him to her. "Please...don't stop..."

Sano stared back at her, "Are you sure?"

She nodded, and he hesitantly pulled closer to her, kissing at a nipple to distract her pain. She moaned, and Sano quickly took the initiative as he pushed himself into her once again...

She inhaled sharply as he entered, "Sano...keep going..."

He pushed harder, and her breath came ragged as he continued to rock, the heat growing. Her eyelids were heavy-lidded; her eyes closed as she felt his love tear through her. The feeling of pain and pleasure mixed into one sent a flurry of emotions flooding into her mind -- she had never known she was this empty...

She bit down on her lips, feeling tears well at the edges of her eyes, but never falling over.

The feeling escaladed, climaxing so much that it became almost unbearable...she never wanted it to stop...

And finally, Sano let out one last breath before collapsing onto her, holding his weight with his arms so he wouldn't crush her. He smiled down on her, breathing just as fast as her. Gradually, her breathing slowed, and she pulled Sano to lay next to her.

She kissed him one last time, and felt completely wiped -- a wave of drowsiness crashed down upon her, and her eyelids suddenly felt heavy.

"Sano..." she murmured softly.

"Yes?" he replied, pulling her closer to him.

"Do you...love me...?" she yawned, "Because...I love you..."

Sanosuke paused, not sure how to answer. But before he could open his mouth to reply, she lay limp in his arms, finally asleep -- truly asleep after so many years.

He sighed contentedly, and brushed stray strands of hair from her angelic face, pulling her body into his arms.

In the background, something rustled outside, and the noise of the night swept over them, encompassing them in the black blanket of the twilight. They were encased in a world of their own, tightly packed into a fragile package.

Immersed in the oceans of silk and dreams, they lay there together all night, finally as one.