Chapter 156
Who
Cameron was on her way back to the base in the 'borrowed' van from the airport. She was relieved that the police hadn't become involved. She exited off of the freeway and would be near the base soon.
She looked at the dried blood on her clothes. She wore the shirt of the passenger of the truck. He was the one who ended up with the rock embedded in the side of his head. She would need something more decent looking to enter the base. The girls offered to trade shirts with her but she saw something that may be a better idea along the roadside. She'd spotted a Goodwill donation bin. It was overflowing and there were boxes of clothes piled up next to it. She stopped and looked through the items. She chose something that would please John if she decided to stay. She wanted to make her 'reappearance' pleasurable and memorable. She slipped it on, it was simple dress.
She noted the three girls watched her and wanted her. They'd given her strength, supported her and risked EVERYTHING for her. They were three girls who loved her just the way she was, for who she was. It was clear that the three girls saw her as more than 'Nobody'. She vowed she would repay them someday, somehow….
Cameron parked near their base. She did not want to get too close - just in case…. She was unsure what timeline they were in. Even if she was terminated, she did not want the same fate for the girls.
She was aware she may be perceived as an intruder or a Skynet trick. Since she'd left to go to her future she could have been captured and reprogrammed. The fact that the girls were not with her might only reinforce that belief. It was most likely that this would end badly for her in more ways than one.
Cameron looked at the girls before she departed.
"I don't know what I will find." Cameron said. "I don't think it will be anything good. Remember, I am not even sure if we are in the same timeline."
The girls again were there for her to offer their support and their love.
"Whatever it is, love, we are here for YOU." Jesse said. "We will support whatever decisions you make."
"It will work out, Cameron." Allison said. "One way or another we will make it work for you."
"You know we will wait here for you." Vanna said. "We will come for you if we have to."
Cameron felt if they needed to have a 'battle' with the Resistance that it would be a bad thing for everyone.
Cameron gently squeezed each of the girl's hands and left. She thought if this was an alternate timeline she may be terminated on sight. She was sadly aware they'd terminated some other possible version of her when it tried to attack Allison. It wanted to absorb Allison's 'anatomy', for John, to mate with him physically as it must have done 'mentally'.
She approached the base on foot. She tried to remain as clandestine as possible. She noted the increased security everywhere. That may have indicated this was a different timeline or there'd been some assault on the base. She'd left the girls in the van. Allison was behind the wheel. She left the message that if anything did not look right that they were to drive away immediately and never look back. They had money and guns. They should be able to survive comfortably.
Cameron started in on the perimeter of the base. There was a lot of security. This was more and better security than there'd been when they'd left. It would take some effort to get in unobserved. She made it in a little further. Each new layer caused her additional concern. All the differences made her doubt if she was in the same timeline.
She made it inside after a long while and looped the security feeds so she could move around unobserved. She stopped by the lab. She noted Unit 645 was deactivated and now looked different with dark hair. She wondered what that was all about. She did note her giant breasts as she lay there. She hoped John was not 'tapping' that chassis.
Cameron approached John's room, her room, 'their' room. She did not know what she would find.
She really expected to hear John making love to Riley. She briefly considered terminating Riley and leaving. It was what she wanted to do to Future Riley. She did not do it then either. She reminded herself why.
'No. John has a right to choose. It was just like Future John chose to 'send me away'. He 'threw me away'….' Cameron thought.
Cameron knew that is what you did with trash or scrap metal. It was discarded.
Now she reflected on being 'Not Good Enough'….
No one throws away anything that is good.
Cameron was not paying attention. The next words caught her by surprise.
"River?" John asked.
Cameron almost jumped.
'Who?' Cameron thought.
She was ready to go on the defensive. She may need to fight her way out.
There was a look of astonishment on John's face.
"River, you came back? When did you get here?" John asked surprised.
Cameron switched to infiltration mode. She must be in an alternate timeline for sure she thought. She wanted to get out of there before she messed up another timeline or was terminated. She would allow her programming and experience dealing with humans to get her through this first encounter.
"Just a few minutes ago…." Cameron said.
She looked around and was ready to bolt. There could be reinforcements moving up to contain her.
John ran up and grabbed her and hugged her.
That seemed more of a positive than a hindrance.
"River, something terrible has happened." John said.
Her next words just slipped out. Maybe it was wishful thinking on her part.
"Do you mean to Riley?" Cameron asked.
John looked a little confused with her question.
"What? No. it happened to Cameron, Allison, Vanna and Jesse." John said.
She decided to play along.
"What happened?" Cameron asked.
Cameron thought this must be a different timeline. She did not feel danger. She needed to find out more….
"They are all - dead." John said and started to sob.
Cameron was sure this was a different timeline now. None of this added up. Why would he be so sure they were dead?
John looked at 'River' with pleading eyes.
"I need you to decrypt our TDE so I can go back in time and save them." John whimpered.
She needed some more information to see how this should be played.
"How did they 'die'?" Cameron asked.
John needed to collect himself.
"Cameron was killed in a nuclear blast when she destroyed Skynet. Allison, Vanna and Jesse all died while fighting Terminators." John finally got it out.
'What the Hell?' Cameron thought.
That all seemed pretty extreme to her, now Cameron wondered what timeline she was in and who the Hell was 'River'. It seemed that 'River' must look like 'her'? How was that possible? Maybe it was her 'Replacement'. Maybe 'River' was a new cyborg constructed in her image. That sounded like something they would do.
Cameron was worried now that this was not Her John. How could the four of them all here now alive, be 'dead'? They had only been gone a day for them even though fifteen months passed in the timeline where she was at now, wherever that was….
"John, tell me all about it…." Cameron said.
John went over everything that had happened since the girls left screaming - 'Nooooooo!'
That was quite a bit for her to take in. She was not a part of many of those things including 'River'. None of this really made and sense.
"Why are you back from the future, River? Did you come to take Cameron away from me?" John asked.
Cameron remained cautious. This could all fall apart fast.
"Maybe…." Cameron said.
Cameron wondered what future River was from. This was getting worse by the second. Was River another version of herself or Allison from some further future? Was River a machine or human?
"If you can go back in time and help me save her, I will allow her the freedom to go with you. As long as I know she is alive, that is all I need. Can you please help me save Cameron and the others?" John begged.
Her John would never let her go. He said he loved her - maybe he didn't.
"You would freely allow her to go with me?" Cameron asked as she wondered why.
None of this was logical or made sense to her. She loved HER John, not some girl that looked like her named 'River'. What was John TALKING about?
"Yes, as long as we can save her that is what matters most to me. I am fine with that if she can be alive and happy with you. I know how much she loves you, River." John said.
Cameron looked for a way out. She continued to play along.
"You would do that for me?" Cameron asked.
Cameron wondered why THIS apparently terminated Cameron loved someone else who was a female. How was there a 'Duplicate' set of them, the four girls and her? She was aware of the troubled time transfer, the coming and going and the feeling to stay and wait. She remembered the feeling that something was 'wrong'. A lot sure seemed 'wrong' here.
John felt it was more than that. It was not to benefit River but to save Cameron.
"No, I would do that for Cameron." John said. "Everyone sacrifices for John Connor, even John Connor."
Cameron still wondered why 'she' loved some girl from the future, some future. Somehow it was a girl that apparently looked like her. It was very confusing.
"Why?" Cameron asked.
John was willing to do anything to keep Cameron from being terminated.
"I would allow that because I love her, River. I want her to be happy, even if it's not with me. You two deserve each other. You love each other." John said. "Sometimes when you love someone, you need to let them 'go'."
Cameron was sure this was not her timeline. She knew she better leave. There was one thing that still 'ate' at her. What she wondered seemed to slip out without her wanting it to.
"What about you and Riley?" Cameron asked.
That is all Cameron thought about all day. She'd really been worried to death about the fifteen months that'd passed….
John wondered why she brought Riley up again. That was old news.
"Riley? She and Derek have been married for a year." John said.
Cameron wondered about the others.
"What about Sarah and Kyle?" Cameron asked.
John wanted to get Cameron back. Not dally with old news.
"They're fine. I have a sister now as well, Jan, Jan Connor." John said.
'That was 'different'.' Cameron thought.
There was one person that she really wanted to know about. It was someone who would actually matter to John as time went on.
"What about Savannah?" Cameron asked. "How is she?"
It saddened John to talk about it. Savannah was the only one who could not accept Cameron's termination. She continued to believe Cameron would return. Her love and belief in Cameron was unstoppable. She never once lost faith.
"She cries a lot and misses her 'mother'. She cries the most over Cameron as well as Allison, Vanna and Jesse." John said.
There was the sound of running footstep approaching.
For a brief moment Cameron thought she was about to be 'captured'. She'd already stayed too long. Now she was going to be terminated. She was ready to run. She would try to evader her captors rather than fight them.
John looked past Cameron.
"Here comes Savannah now." John said.
Savannah ran towards them.
"I KNEW you would come back. I KNEW IT." Savannah said. "No one would believe me. I KNEW you would return."
John ignored Savannah. He did not want to have that same discussion again. It was the discussion to 'nowhere'. Savannah would not accept the truth.
John looked at Cameron.
"River, will help us try to get the others back?" John asked.
Savannah moved next to Cameron and hugged her. She looked at John with some irritation. He still hadn't listened to her. She wondered how he could be so confused and mistaken.
"STOP calling her River." Savannah said. "Her name is Cameron."
Who
Who are you
Who am I
If there is no answer
Do you know why
Is who we are
Really who we are
Is not all we show
Only an avatar
We can wonder
What life is all about
We can scream and shout
Or try to figure it out
Do we even know
Who it is we are
We can lie to ourselves
Pretend to be a movie star
Maybe some day
When we hear our own name
We will say – who?
And continue to play life's game
Nobody