Chapter 163

Well

Vanna watched Allison go. She knew Allison was 'steamed'. It did make her wonder about her part in all of it. Even thought it was Duplicate Vanna, it was her. She would need to seek out Savannah and find out some more information about what all went on when they were away and where things were headed.

Maybe there were things that Duplicate Vanna did that she may not have. Then again Duplicate Vanna was her in every way so she probably would have.

Allison finally left Vanna after their very unsettling discussion about Duplicate Allison.

Vanna again urged her to not make a big deal about this since it was NOT her.

No matter how many times Allison reminded herself of that, it did not seem to make a difference. It actually seemed to make it worse.

It was a feeling like she knew most of the females felt after being assaulted in the future. That somehow it was their fault. The fact it happened to all of them at some point made it easier to accept. It was part of life in the era of Skynet and the Hell on earth that it spawned.

The feeling of betrayal was worse to her. She loved Cameron and knew she would never betray her like that. When they thought Cameron was 'dead' before, that was different. They were going to do what Cameron asked them to do. Cameron begged them to be there for John then. She MADE them promise to be there and be with him. That was an obligation they attempted to fulfill back then. That was when she was gone the first time.

The more she thought about it the more it seemed to compound. It was really tearing her apart inside.

Allison was plagued with 'guilt'.

Allison could not let it go.

Allison would not let it go.

Allison went to find Cameron.

She remembered Vanna's words not to make an issue of this unless something came up. She did not listen.

Allison spotted Cameron and headed straight for her.

Cameron noticed Allison as she approached her. She could tell by the look on her face that it was not going to go well.

"Well?" Allison asked as she glared at Cameron.

Cameron sadly looked at her.

"I don't want to talk about it." Cameron finally said.

Allison wanted some answers. It was 'eating' her up inside.

"I want to know what 'happened'." Allison demanded. "You KNOW what I'm talking about."

Cameron wanted to keep this simple.

"John got you - Duplicate Allison 'pregnant'." Cameron said. "What else do you need to know?"

It was the thought of it that bothered Allison.

"Why? How? I know I would never do that to you, Cameron. I'm sorry I did. Can you ever forgive me?" Allison asked.

Allison felt so upset and ashamed at what her Duplicate 'did'.

Cameron decided to push her agenda. She didn't really want to but she felt it in her programming.

"It was what I wanted." Cameron said as she looked at Allison. "It IS what I want. You must do it again. Why can't YOU understand?"

Allison was even more troubled.

"It's still not right or fair to you." Allison said.

Cameron's head dropped down for a second before she looked up at Allison.

"Why can't anyone understand?" Cameron asked as she started to cry. "It is the 'Natural Order' of time, destiny and the way it's supposed to be. I'm what's preventing fate. I'm the one in the way."

If anything, it made Cameron feel bad about herself.

Allison held Cameron as she sobbed. She knew what Cameron thought she wanted. She knew better.

Cameron still sobbed even as Allison soothed her.

Allison wanted to know more. She NEEDED to know more. It was tearing her up inside. The guilt and rage burnt inside her. She was flooded with shame and betrayal….

"Was it just the two of us or the 'three' of us?" Allison finally asked.

A ray of hope glimmered in Cameron. She saw an opening. It was a chance for destiny to achieve 'compilation'.

Cameron lied.

"It was the four of us." Cameron said.

Allison sat in silence for a long time. She hung her head and then finally looked at Cameron. It was a move much like Cameron did to her earlier.

"I will talk to Vanna." Allison said

Allison felt defeated and left.

Cameron smiled to herself. She felt no guilt about what she'd just done to Allison. She only felt elation. It would come back to haunt her. She had a dark side and it was evil.

'On The Dark Side' by 'Eddie And The Cruisers', flashed through Cameron's mind.

Cameron felt very content now. She passed by the Command Center. John was not there yet.

John Henry noticed that Cameron was out and about on his security monitors. He wondered what the confrontation with Allison was about. It looked contentious at first but seemed to resolve itself. Allison went away dejected looking and Cameron looked 'happy' currently.

Cameron entered the Command Center.

"You look happy." John Henry said.

Cameron smiled at him.

"It's a good day." Cameron replied.

John Henry wanted to remind her that not all of them were.

"We've had very few of those since your nuclear 'stunt'." John Henry said.

The smile faded from Cameron's face.

"I did what was necessary." Cameron said.

John Henry was not sure what he said it but it sort of just slipped out.

"Did you?" John Henry asked. "Your three friends died. The baby died. Do you know the pain and hurt you caused everyone here?"

Cameron tried to brush it off. She really did not want to talk about it. It was not really her but Duplicate Cameron that did that. Her manipulation of Allison still left her feeling elated.

"All is well that ends well." Cameron said.

John Henry strongly disagreed with that statement.

"You would not have thought that if you were here during the 'Year Of Hell' we suffered." John Henry said. "You were only gone less than a day. It was over a year for us."

Cameron went over Duplicate Cameron's plan again. It was a good plan.

"No one was supposed to follow me." Cameron said. "The watch should not have been cut on the three children. Everyone should have remained at their posts. I was - I am expendable."

That statement further irritated John Henry. Cameron could not see how much everyone loved her and depended on her. He wanted to set her straight.

"You're not expendable." John Henry said. "It was done to save you. Everybody, machine and human alike was willing to be terminated – to DIE, to save you. Every one of us. You cost your friends their lives…."

Cameron knew she would have done the same thing as Duplicate Cameron, they were identical. Her files all showed it was the correct decision for Duplicate Cameron.

"I am sorry." Cameron said. "I only KNEW it would turn out alright in the end. My files - Duplicate Cameron's files in Holly show calculations that were done that indicated everything would go on. I do not know where I - Duplicate Cameron knew that from. I - Duplicate Cameron thought that life would go on as intended. The 'Natural Order' would be restored and I would be out of the way, terminated. John's destiny would have been 'complete' as it was in the future."

John Henry wondered about the extent of those calculations.

"Did you intend to come back?" John Henry asked.

Cameron wished she hadn't at this point. She did not like the confrontation with John Henry or Allison.

"No." Cameron said.

John Henry thought maybe Cameron missed the big picture.

"Perhaps you need to accept that THIS is the 'Natural Order' for THIS timeline. The way it is right NOW. The way this timeline was 'restored'. I want to specify that it has been 'restored' more than once."

Cameron was aware of that. It was a source of irritation to her. It was not what Future John wanted, even if it was what he wanted.

"It is a thought in my mind that will not go away. No matter how hard I try to make it go away." Cameron admitted.

Cameron herself did not know what was happening or why.

Her earlier conversation with Allison started to bother her the more she thought about it. Cameron noticed her hand began to glitch again. Allison - Duplicate Allison 'died' for her by trying to help her. Now she tried to 'manipulate' Allison for her own personal agenda. It was actually Future John's agenda. It made her wonder what kind of a person she'd become. No, not become, was all along...

It was not a good thought or a pleasant feeling.

Savannah would often come and study in the back of the Command Center. She would always come in the back way to remain out of sight. It allowed her to 'hear' everything that happened. She was greatly able to expand her knowledge of the Resistance and its operations and find out about people. That was the people in the Resistance.

She was able to see that everyone had some kind of problems. She was not the only one who suffered from what Skynet did to them.

The 'conversation' That just occurred between Cameron and John Henry was not a good one. It also showed the extent of 'confusion' that existed within Cameron.

She would need to seek Cameron out and tell her not worry. She did not need to bother Allison and Vanna. She'd already promised Cameron she would be there for John and have a baby for Cameron. What more did Cameron want and why? Vanna and Allison had each other. Cameron should respect that. She was going to end up fracturing their relationship with her meddling.

Savannah would be more troubled if she knew how Allison felt about all of this right now. It sent Allison to a bad place.

Allison felt troubled. She just could not hurt Cameron. She reflected on how she almost was with John when they thought Cameron was terminated the first time. Cameron went into the future and never returned when she was supposed to.

Allison and Vanna knew John needed 'comfort'. Cameron MADE them promise to be there for him. They'd waited a long time for Cameron to return. It was then, only then, that they acted. It was only after that Liquid Metal 'thing' assaulted John that they decided to act.

At that time John needed someone bad and Cameron made them promise to be there for him. ALL the Terminators repeatedly said if Cameron was coming back that she would have returned right after she left….

Allison wondered how you could love someone so much and try to pick the people to replace you in your own bed for the one you love. How deep did that hurt Cameron to do that? How deep would that hurt anyone?

In hindsight it was clear that Cameron would only have done that if she expected never to return.

Allison and Vanna only agreed because it meant so much to Cameron. They agreed because of their love for Cameron, not for John.

That was in the past now.

That was then.

Now her Duplicate self actually did that.

'What a Bitch.' Allison thought.

Allison hated 'herself' for doing that even if it was not actually her.

Her mind went to a dark place and found nothing good there. She understood Cameron's poems about wanting to 'escape' and 'go'. There was peace and tranquility to nothingness.

This was now.

Allison wished she still possessed her Model 66 right now….

John developed a problem with a reoccurring thought. He was angry at Cameron for not admitting she was in Holly for all those months. John KNEW she was in there with Holly. He just KNEW it. Holly did everything exactly like Cameron did. It was all the same. John always knew that if he ever kissed Cameron when she first showed up or admitted his love for her, to her, that 'things' would have happened.

John knew if he'd 'touched' Holly that she would have responded. He also knew that if he was wrong and it was only Holly, he would have opened a can of worms. He would have done something that could not be undone. Doubt, it is what always held him back.

'What if I am wrong?' He thought. 'I would ruin everything and destroy 'whatever' I - had.'

John remembered passing Cameron's room at the house, when he was alone one night with her and hearing.

'When Will I Be Loved' by the 'Everly Brothers', as it softly played.

John KNEW all he needed to do was knock, he lacked the courage.

Cameron wanted to be 'chosen' as she waited….

John was aware he chose another instead. It made him wonder if there was a Duplicate John if he would do the same things. He was pretty sure he would. He thought if he could do it over again that he would do the same things. That was why he did them in the first place.

That Was Then

When one felt empty and tortured
They were left to suffer all alone
No one to care or understand
Lower than a dog without a bone

Left with damage to their mind
Parts tarnished forever, some would heal
But no one could see the damage
Done to their mind for real

They thought of ways to escape
To end the suffering and torment
Why should they be punished
For things they could not prevent

As the love and caring vanished
They became tolerant and indifferent
Hoping to repair the damage
As life they tried to circumvent

If only someone felt the same
Just somebody to embody
To know and care and listen
Sadly as they looked they saw NOBODY

THAT WAS THEN

Nobody

This Is Now

Now without a doubt you know
That there is a person to listen
A person that cares about you
Who knows inside you truly glisten

Promise me that before you ever
Try to damage yourself or depart
That we talk things over
Know I speak with a honest pure heart

I will walk with you to the gates of Hell
We need not cross over lost
No longer are you alone
I will share the pain no matter the cost

I may be bent, broken and tarnished
You are a wonderful Human Being
We can still both reach Paradise one day
For you this I am guaranteeing

This Is Now

Nobody