Chapter 168

Long Black Veil

Derek and Riley were happy together most of the time. The 'death' of Jesse brought them closer together. It was natural for both of them to try to move forward. Now with Jesse back, Riley felt 'threatened'. Cameron was able to get Gail and Jesse back together but for how long? Jesse knew how to get what she wanted.

Riley was afraid Jesse would want Derek. Now she needed to worry about Jesse doing to her, what her other future self – Future Riley did to John and Cameron. She hoped Gail could contain her. She knew if Jesse came for Derek that she could take him from her. She'd been with Jesse before and had first hand experience at how good Jesse was at everything related to the bedroom.

She knew 'Payback is a Bitch' and was afraid she was about to get some and be 'punished' for what her other future timeline self had done. The circumstances didn't matter. It was still done and everything still happened.

Riley wanted to ask Cameron for her 'help' in dealing with this situation. She wasn't sure what Cameron would say or do. It seemed Cameron treated her more fairly than the others all did. She still had a 'Scarlet Letter' attached to her for something she didn't do. It wasn't HER.

Sarah received a lot of help with her baby, Jan. Kyle was there and Riley came around a lot to assist while Derek and Kyle would go out on Resistance business. Savannah liked to help too. She said she needed to learn about how to take care of a baby, so she could help look after Young Allison.

It would sadden Sarah when Savannah asked about when the others were going to come back. She would tell her that they were not coming back. Savannah would say they were all going to come back, even her mother. It was optimism or love so deep she could not really understand it. It turned out Savannah was right. There was one unresolved issue. There was still 'her mother' to deal with at some point. No one looked forward to dealing with Mrs. Weaver going forward except Savannah.

When Holly was not at John side, she was there to help with the baby, especially at night. Holly would come and tend to the infant. It was something to watch, a machine built to kill, took loving care of a baby. Now Sarah knew why, Cameron was there inside Holly. She was so happy that Cameron was back for John. Everyone was happy Cameron was back.

Everyone was happy Cameron was back, except Cameron.

John lay sleeping next to Cameron. She carefully got up so as not to disturb him. She slipped into the bathroom for a quick shower. She was upset that all of John's genetic material was wasted inside of her. It should be going into Allison, Vanna and Jesse. John needed a 'real female', not a machine masquerading as one. It was only a matter of time until Judgment Day arrived.

Cameron knew that telling Allison the truth about Duplicate Allison would prevent her from carrying out her destiny. She did not want to lie to Allison anymore. She really wished that Allison would come and take her place in the morning when John woke up. It would be so simple.

She dressed and started her rounds. As she passed Jesse's room she heard Gail and Jesse together. Gail could 'perform' until her power cell failed. It seemed Jesse could too…. She hoped that Jesse would not forget about John and what was 'necessary'. She would remind Jesse.

Riley came to her and said she needed 'help'. She said she felt like a total piece of garbage for asking her but she didn't know who else to turn to. Riley asked for her help in making sure Jesse would not interfere with her and Derek.

Cameron wanted Jesse available for John. She told Riley to trust her love and she would look into it. Cameron would ask Gail to shorten the leash on Jesse, except for John. Gail owed her one, make it two. Gail was 'alive' now because of her and she was with 'Jesse' again.

Bob spotted Cameron coming. He went to speak with her. Everyone liked to talk to Cameron and spend time with her. Bob found he felt different when Cameron was around. He was jealous that Holly and John Henry shared her chip or her on their chip. He really wondered how special that must have been to 'touch' Cameron's mind, to experience it and to share it. He hoped one day she would share her 'existence' with him. The traces of 'Cameron' still on his chip were elusive fragments. They always meant so much for him to find. They were beautiful.

"Hello, Bob." Cameron said.

Bob was thrilled she'd come to talk with him.

"Hello, Cameron." Bob responded.

Cameron smiled at him.

"Would you like to go out and have some 'fun' sometime?" Cameron asked.

Bob felt more than a little confused at the question.

"Fun?" Bob asked. "I never have fun. I need to watch over John and the girls."

Cameron felt everyone should have a little down time.

"That's why I wanted to take you out to do something different." Cameron said. "You have been loyal and faithful to John and our operation. I will arrange for you to be covered."

Bob was caught off guard. This is more or less what he'd hoped for.

"Tonight?" Bob asked. "I would like that."

Cameron touched his cheek.

"Not tonight, I have something I need to do alone." Cameron said.

Bob felt a little disappointed. Still the offer was there for another night. He wondered what 'fun' actually meant to Cameron. He was not sure what it meant to him.

"I understand." Bob said.

He watched Cameron walk away. He really liked the shape of her chassis. He followed it with his eyes until she went around a corner. He decided to replay the entire file over again. He would do that several times every hour.

Cameron was a little sad she could not go out with Bob tonight. He looked like he was 'happy' when she mentioned it. She liked when everyone was happy.

She felt a compulsion grow and expand inside of her. It seemed to get worse and worse. The more she tried to 'fight' it, the bigger and bigger it got.

John looked around the base for Cameron. He hoped to find her. He found Bob near the lab.

"Bob, do you know where Cameron is at?" John asked.

Bob just finished replaying the file of Cameron walking away from him.

"I don't know." Bob said. "I spoke with her earlier."

John hoped Bob could tell him more.

"That's good." John said. "Where can I find her?"

Cameron did not tell Bob where she was going specifically.

"I don't know." Bob said. "She said she needed to take care of something alone."

John frowned. That was not usually a good thing when she did that.

"She's been disappearing at night these last few days." John said. "I wondered what she was up to."

Bob thought it must be Resistance related.

"Perhaps she is conducting surveillance." Bob said. "John Henry has been looking for more Skynet related activity."

That did not quell any of John's fears. It only made them worse. He did not want Cameron to face Skynet alone again.

"If you find out what she is up to. I want to know." John said. "I'm worried about her."

Now Bob wondered himself.

"Affirmative." Bob said. "I will look into it."

By the nature of Bob's answer, John was not convinced. He tried to be polite anyway.

"Thank you." John said.

Somehow John did not think he would find out. Everyone was loyal to Cameron, everyone. She was so special. He really wondered how much of him was left in her 'heart'. Her unhappiness tore him to shreds. He wanted to make Cameron happy. He only wished he knew how.

He remembered when Cameron said she was a machine and couldn't be happy. He knew now she said that to him because he implied that about her. It was a 'dig' on his part. She'd come into his room and 'offered' herself to him that night. He blew her off and ran off with Future Riley instead. They headed for Mexico and the Honeymoon Suite….

John shook his head in disgust. What was he thinking then? He let the 'little head' do all the thinking while the 'big head' was in 'neutral'.

If he could do it over again what would he do?

The more he thought about it, he figured would have sex with Cameron in his room and then he would have run off with Future Riley later on. That way it would have given him a comparison between 'synthetic' and 'real'.

John slapped the side of his head.

'Where did that thought come from?' John wondered.

He should have concentrated on Cameron.

John Henry still wanted to go over the Skynet related activity with John. Cameron briefly looked over the information before she'd left the Command Center.

He watched John and Bob's conversation about Cameron on a security monitor.

He felt a little jealous earlier when Cameron approached Bob.

The revelation that she needed to take care of something alone sent up a few red flags for him. She'd looked over his findings about possible Skynet activity earlier.

John Henry decided he better find out where she went if he could. He did not want to raise any alarms yet.

It was dark. Cameron walked alone. The wind blew steadily. It was cold.

Cameron was dressed in black. She was unsure why. She wore a long black veil. She was at the location where she was terminated. This was where she 'died'. Well, Duplicate Cameron anyway. It was still her.

She walked along the hills. She stood at the spot where Allison and Vanna died. There was still a massive scar in the landscape from the explosion. Tears filled her eyes. They died trying to come to save her. They died for HER. This was where Duplicate Cameron got John's baby inside Allison killed.

It was very overwhelming for her to take it all in.

Cameron did not have the data from that last encounter. She knew what she'd planned and what was going to happen. She did not KNOW she would return as 'herself' over a year later. Cameron – Duplicate Cameron thought she was 'done'. It was a one way ticket.

She believed that John would choose Allison and Vanna or Jesse to be his mate or mates. They would forget about her and the 'Natural Order' would be restored.

There was something that bothered her. If that was what she really wanted, why did she download herself in with Holly and keep it secret? It was a last second decision that she was compelled to do. Some file opened up and 'told' her to do that. That file was now 'gone'.

It seemed there were a few other factors in play here. She did not know what they were.

Cameron cried for the baby Allison carried. It was dead due to her foolishness. She sadly reflected she could still kill people without killing them herself directly.

Was she nothing more than a source of death and destruction to all those around her? Duplicate Cameron thought so as well. That was why she chose termination in combat. It was not a pleasant feeling. Still Duplicate Cameron 'saved' herself and her program lived on. It was all inside of her now.

She moved on to the next spot.

Cameron stood on the hill top and looked down at the rubble of the building that once stood there. That is where she 'was'. That is where she 'died'. The ground was collapsed inward. She knew if she ever did that again to make sure that no one would follow her. She knew she needed to make sure that John and Allison and Vanna were safe and secure first.

She hated herself for what she'd done. She hated herself for being 'herself'.

Cameron reflected on everything for another hour. She headed for home. She stopped by the location where Jesse died too. Jesse died as well because of her. She'd taken over the roll of some of the Terminators. That was so those Terminators could go to her aid. They went to end their existence by sacrificing their power cells to blast her out of her 'tomb'.

'Everyone sacrificed for 'me'.' Cameron thought.

Her existence was not worth everything that was lost that day. It was not worth the other Terminators willing to perish to try and rescue her.

She felt and heard the cold wind moan.

Cameron took one last look at the crater near the side of the road where Jesse died. She replayed the image of the crater where Vanna, Allison and John's baby died. She viewed the collapsed building where she was vaporized at deep underground somewhere.

What was gained and what was lost that day?

Cameron cried the whole trip home.

She never made it back.

'One Tin Soldier' by 'Coven', played in Cameron's mind.

Darkness hung over her until it consumed her.

Long Black Veil

To move forward in life
We try to prevail
Is what we believe
Only a fairytale

The harder we try
It seems the more we fail
It can cause us grief
And others to assail

Is there any freshness to life
Or has it all grown stale
Maybe it would be better
If we were in locked up in jail

We are slowly overwhelmed
As we are pounded by life's gale
Instead of growing stronger
We become weak and frail

We seek to surge ahead
We try to prosper and avail
Instead of things flourishing
They seem to crumble and curtail

We continue down life's trail
Always chasing our tail
As we try to tell our tale
Shrouded in a long black veil

Nobody